Election time again.....
just so you know:
I attacked and took over 2 countries.
I spent the U.S. surplus and bankrupted the US Treasury.
I shattered the record for the biggest annual deficit in history (not easy!).
I set an economic record for the most personal bankruptcies filed in any 12
month period.
I set all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the stock
market.
I am the first president in decades to execute a federal prisoner.
In my first year in office I set the all-time record for most days on
vacation by any president in US history (tough to beat my dad's, but I did).
After taking the entire month of August off for vacation, I presided over
the worst security failure in US history.
I set the record for most campaign fund raising trips by any president in
US history.
In my first two years in office over 2 million Americans lost their jobs.
I cut unemployment benefits for more out-of-work Americans than any other
president in US history.
I set the all-time record for most real estate foreclosures in a 12-month
period.
I appointed more convicted criminals to administration positions than any
president in US history.
I set the record for the fewest press conferences of any president, since
the advent of TV.
I signed more laws and executive orders amending the Constitution than any
other US president in history.
I presided over the biggest energy crises in US history and refused to
intervene when corruption was revealed.
I cut health care benefits for war veterans.
I set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously take
to the streets to protest me (15 million people), shattering the record for
protest against any person in the history of mankind.
I dissolved more international treaties than any president in US history.
I 've made my presidency the most secretive and unaccountable of any in US
history.
Members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in US history.
(The poorest multimillionaire, Condoleeza Rice, has a Chevron oil tanker
named after her.)
I am the first president in US history to have all 50 states of the Union
simultaneously struggle against bankruptcy.
I presided over the biggest corporate stock market fraud in any market in
any country in the history of the world.
I am the first president in US history to order a US attack AND military
occupation of a sovereign nation, and I did so against the will of the
United Nations and the vast majority of the international community.
I have created the largest government department bureaucracy in the history
of the United States, called the "Bureau of Homeland Security"(only one
letter away from BS).
I set the all-time record for biggest annual budget spending increases,
more than any other president in US history (Ronnie was tough to beat, but I
did it!!).
I am the first president in US history to compel the United Nations remove
the US from the Human Rights Commission.
I am the first president in US history to have the United Nations remove
the US from the Elections Monitoring Board.
I removed more checks and balances, and have the least amount of
congressional oversight than any presidential administration in US history.
I rendered the entire United Nations irrelevant. I withdrew from the World
Court of Law.
I refused to allow inspectors access to US prisoners of war and by default
no longer abide by the Geneva Conventions.
I am the first president in US history to refuse United Nations election
inspectors access during the 2002 US elections.
I am the all-time US (and world) record holder for most corporate campaign
donations.
The biggest lifetime contributor to my campaign, who is also one of my best
friends, presided over one of the largest corporate bankruptcy frauds in
world history (Kenneth Lay, former CEO of Enron Corporation).
I spent more money on polls and focus groups than any president in US
history.
I am the first president to run and hide when the US came under attack (and
then lied, saying the enemy had the code to Air Force 1)
I am the first US president to establish a secret shadow government.
I took the world's sympathy for the US after 9/11, and in less than a year
made the US the most resented country in the world (possibly the biggest
diplomatic failure in US and world history).
I am the first US president in history to have a majority of the people of
Europe (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and
stability.
I changed US policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government
contracts.
I set the all-time record for the number of administration appointees who
violated US law by not selling their huge investments in corporations
bidding for gov't contracts.
I have removed more freedoms and civil liberties for Americans than any
other president in US history.
I entered office with the strongest economy in US history and in less than
two years turned every single economic category heading straight down.
aggravated