Posted on 2006.07.20 at 18:35
Current Mood: 
blah
I have been really bad, I just started dating a new guy and after I sprained my ankle like 5 weeks ago I have not been able to run like usual and I feel huge I have been binging and purging a lot at night and today for the first time I threw up blood! I was so scared! I wanna be thin but not die!
Does anyone recommend a diet that works so I don't b/p anymore!
Posted on 2006.06.03 at 00:27
I feel sooooo FAT!!! for a while i actually though i was doing alright but the fat feeling is not going away. I am eating super healthy but i am eating a lot! but its all from vegies and protien and nuts and good stuff!!
Grrrr.....
Posted on 2006.03.20 at 21:55
CRAP I left my journal at home and I am out of town for 6 weeks and I think my boyfriend might have read some of it cause tonight on the phone he asked if I was eating enough or if I was cutting back on how much I was eating? And said that if I come back home and I have lost a bunch of weight he will be really upset with me. He said he did not want me getting all anarexic or anything. Why on earth would he say that unless he knew something.... Oh well I will loose at lease 5 more pounds before I go home but thats not that much so it won't be a big deal. I have been dealing with ED for a long time and no one has ever found out for sure anything! I am sure he will find out some day but not any time soon.
I feel so shitty I ate a really high calorie dinner because my step mom took me out to dinner, it was a blast! I just have to make sure that I make up for it tomorrow by LOW LOW calories!!
Posted on 2006.03.07 at 22:46
Todays food
Workout : 30min running at high alt. and up hill (-250) crunched pushups
b: apple (50)
l: 1 cup chicken noodle, 1/2 turkey sandwhich no cheese (500)
d: veggies and hummis and wine (400)
Misc. snacks: (200)
Total:1,150- 250= 900
Goal for tomorrow : 700
Maybe something like:
Yogurt (50) apple (50) veggie burger (120) salad (100) tuna (150) soup (100) popcorn (200)
These girl are making me so depressed maybe its the wine but I know they are making me feel FAT. I saw pictures from today and I am by far the worst looking I am pale and plain and fat. I wish there was something I could do to be better looking. One of the girl lost a ton of weight and is SOOOOO tiney and show off the before and sfter pix and I am sooo jellous she did it in 4 months she he perfect Grrr i hate her...
Posted on 2006.03.06 at 21:58
Current Mood: blank
Ok today is day 1 of my promo, I just got to the house and its amazing HUGE house that I am sharing with 5 other girls who are amazingly beautiful. We are all so different looking its neat but I totally fel like the ugly fat one. We have 3 different outfits for the promo and they are all really cute I am excited about working. Weird to say that but I am. I am going to get 3 days off a week and I can't wait to go skiing.
My plan while I am here (6weeks) is to loose 5+ pounds. I hope I can do that by eating right and cutting calories. I also plan on running (well trying to run I am at 10,000 ft above sea level) it might be hard but I am getting up early to go tomorrow. The girls I am with are great thinspiration but somehow they eat whatever the hell they want. It makes me sick sometimes, we went to the store tonight and I was soooo good all I got was healthy stuff veggies and apples and tuna, not a whole lot of carbs.
I will really need your support right now PLAESE POST ANY THINSPIRATION U HAVE PLEASE!!!!!
I want my outfit that fits me perfect now to be big on me by the end of the trip, and I really want my boy and best friend to see my hard work and weight loss :)
Posted on 2006.02.27 at 15:54
Posted on 2006.02.27 at 15:31
Ohhh my god I saw pictures of the girls I am doing promo's with and they are all perfect and so tiney I will be the fattest one by far!! SHIT! I wish I could get out of it. Here is my thinspiration!!!
Posted on 2006.02.27 at 14:33
So i just turned 23 and I feel old. I ate shitty all weekend well i did not eat that bad but i ate a lot Yuck and my promo is next week and 6 weeks ongoing! I am trying to eat under 500 cal and poppin green tea pills and Stackers 3. I hope it helps me I really need it.
Posted on 2006.02.18 at 22:31
I feel so fat!!! I am doing a 6 week promotion starting march 6th any advice on how to dump a few pounds????
Posted on 2006.02.15 at 13:02
Why is it that the people that we love are the ones who hurt us the most? I do everything I can to be there for my mom and its always turns into something negative. I am almost 23 its not my job to take care of my mom. But when I see that she is in need I am the 1st to come running and she totally treats me like shit for doing it. She makes me so depressed and is so hard to deal with that I just want to give up but I feel like my brother and I are all my mom has left. If we are not there for her that who will be? I just feel that we deserve to be treated better.
Sorry about venting I am just so upset. I really makes me want to B/P I really hope I can hold back but who knows, I guess its good that I am upset it will make me not want to eat. I will be around her and if I don't eat it will make her mad... any way I think I am going to go buy some stacker's or green tea pills today! any recommendations?????
