Things I will Put in the Theoretical Ranch

Who Doesn't Need This?

The Ex Voodoo Knife Set – I should maybe put this in “Things That Would be Fun For Parties’ because I know the result is drunken stabbing of the knife holder!!!  On second thought, maybe we should hide this one for parties.  Still-I think every kitchen needs one.

What Goes Better With Coffee Than Pirates?

Pirate Toast Stamp – Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!  Um…I really don’t think I have to say anything else here.  [Except, perhaps, that it also comes in “I Love You.”  Oh!!!  And Tic-Tack-Toe!!!  Ummm…also in Holy Toast (devotional madonna kinda thing).]

It Will Hum For You A Song!!!

In keeping with the love of pirates – Pirate Bobble-Head Kitchen Timer!

Tasty-Cute Plants!!!

Taterpots – you choose-mint, oregano, or basil!!!  Transplant after 4-6 weeks OR trim to use for garnishing and cooking!!!  [For more tasty plants-Eggling (Thyme)]

Try This Drink - FOR SCIENCE!!!

Cocktail Chemistry Set – For your very-favorite mad scientist….

Things That Would be Fun For Parties

Fortune chopsticks – you can write your own fortunes, PLUS they come in neon!!!  Downside = plastic.  However they appear to be made of ZOMG-fun!!!  I predict these are excellent for Chinese take out and Scooby Doo.  You can make special Scooby Doo fortunes-Your future appears to be mysterious and spooky.  Beware the yeti.

Hot!!! Or...no...wait....

Bone Chillers – Pirate Ice Cubes!!!

Glow-In-The-Dark Shotglasses!!!  Yes.  Really.

Things That Just Make me Giggle

Some things involving bacon – bacon wallet & bacon and egg Band-Aids!!!

'kay...'bout your "Virtuous Vanilla"...guess what's an aphrodesiac....

Lookin’ Good For Jesus Lip Balm – sacrilicious!!!

Annnnnnnnnnnnd…Guide to Choosing A Religion.  Yeah.  I would set that out on the coffee table.  No.  I would not feel bad at all.

Yes, But Does It Come Blessed??? (Or do I have to steal the holy water AGAIN?)

Holy Water Bottle –  Perhaps useful in event of zombie invasion.  Zombie-Vampire invasion?  Hrmmmmmm….

WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN??? – – – Seriously, I don’t have an attention span.  Or a terribly interesting life right now.  I’m going to try to work on that.  And posting.  I know I suck at the posting lately.  (I’m still working on a meme-tag from Ashish!  But I am very glad to be tagged!  Even if I am slow!)

Anyway…I will now ramble through internet hookah shoppings with you.  When I am having no life and am bored I tend to do internet shoppings, often planning trips to Thailand that I’ll never be able to afford or searching for interesting wines and liquors that I can’t have in this house with recovering alcoholics.

Hookah shoppings are a little different.  I can have a hookah (perhaps not RIGHT NOW, but soon).  And they remind me of being home.  Not because I first smoked from one on the East Coast, but because it’s always seemed intimate (though not quite when-a-girl-kisses-you-to-breathe-the-smoke-into-your-lungs intimate).  It’s been with friends and with lovers.  It is FLAVORED!  And it is just…somehow about connection.  I love being part of it, and I miss it even more here in exile in the Land of Loud Birds.

If I do get a hookah out here (unless I find myself with a sudden tribe of hookah loving peoples), it may well be this one.  It is cute, it has pretty frosty purple on it, and it is small enough to carry about. I am enchanted with the lines and the swirls.  I know, I know…I never have been able to resist anything with nice curves….

This is the runner up for a here choice.  Also small, this one doesn’t have the same curves and swirls but it is playful and fun.  Also it has a hard case, making getting it back to the East Coast or down to the beach much more doable – plus makes it an excellent party hookah.

And then there is the FLAVOR shopping.  Romman makes cappuchino, chocolate, rose, vanilla, Turkish coffee, and raspberry that all sound worth trying.  Al Amir makes mocha latte and pomegranate (also guava, pineapple, pina colada, and mango if I ever want a tropical themed smoke night).

Fox!!!  You are just posting links so you won’t forget them and will remember where to get things!!! – – – Ummmmm…yes?  And also so all of my peoples know to poke me once I have these things so they can has smokes with me!!!  Do give pokes!!!  Most of you are airline flights away, which is hard, but…um…I will figure this out!!!  Poke me for visits and with flavors you want to try and with recommendations and with everything.

Tell me everything.  I am very far from home.  And I miss you.