| Hey guys |
[10 Jun 2008|04:52pm] |
NAME: Jess
AGE: 18
GENDER: Female
LOCATION: Australia
WEAPON OF CHOICE?: razors, stanley knifes, cigarette lighters
AREA OF CHOICE?: top of stomach, wrists, forearms, top of thighs, inner ankle
LINES, WORDS, or SHAPES?: lines. crosses. my dead best friends tag. my other friends initials. sometimes words.
HAVE RITUALS?: For every month my besties been gone, I do another tag. a cross for every year of my other friend.
ASHAMED?: yes
LENGTH OF SELF HARM?: 2 years straight about 5 years ago...then every now and then for a few years....have been doing it regularly again since last July
WHO KNOWS?: no one. a fair few people know I used to. but they don't know i do now
WHO WILL NEVER FIND OUT?: most people if I get any say
DIAGNOSED?: no
GONE TO THE HOSPITAL?: yes, but it was more for an OD....they just treated a few cuts while I was there...that's when I stopped the first time
MEDICATION?: no
PSYCHOLOGIST?: no...i hate counsellors
PSYCHIATRIST?: no
PSYCHE WARD?: no
WANT TO STOP?: not really. sometimes I do.
IF SO, WHY?: I hate the scars and don't want to explain them to my future husband and kids. I know it really upsets my family and friends.
|
|
| meh |
[13 Dec 2007|01:08am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 sick |
] |
NAME: Kate
AGE: 18 almost 19
GENDER: Female
LOCATION: NJ
WEAPON OF CHOICE?: sharp scissors, knives, razors, pins
AREA OF CHOICE?: thigh, upper arm, inner arm, knees
LINES, WORDS, or SHAPES?: lines. sometimes words
HAVE RITUALS?: Not really.
ASHAMED?: kinda
LENGTH OF SELF HARM?: on and off for 4 or 5 years
WHO KNOWS?: my mom, girlfriend
WHO WILL NEVER FIND OUT?: quite a few people.
DIAGNOSED?: yeah.
GONE TO THE HOSPITAL?: yes, but for no point. They never do anything but keep you there and ask you questions while you have a needle in your arm.
MEDICATION?: bunch
PSYCHOLOGIST?: gave up on her
PSYCHIATRIST?: yeah
PSYCHE WARD?: twice
WANT TO STOP?: sometimes.
IF SO, WHY?: it scares me and upsets ppl
|
|
| Hello |
[04 Dec 2007|11:33pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 anxious |
] |
NAME: Tia
AGE: 22
GENDER: Female
LOCATION: NorCal
WEAPON OF CHOICE: Razor blade
AREA OF CHOICE: Arms
LINES, WORDS, or SHAPES: Lines
HAVE RITUALS: Being alone...
ASHAMED: Yes
LENGTH OF SELF-HARM: About 10 years
WHO KNOWS: Just about everyone who knows me
WHO WILL NEVER FIND OUT: people who don't want to know
DIAGNOSED: yes
GONE TO THE HOSPITAL: plenty of times
MEDICATION: Seroquel, Wellbutrin, Naltrexone, and Propranolol
PSYCHOLOGIST: Yes
PSYCHIATRIST: Yes
PSYCHE WARD: Yes
WANT TO STOP: Sometimes...
IF SO, WHY: Cause it makes me feel like a freak
PICTURE OF YOURSELF:
|
|
| goodmorning. |
[04 Dec 2007|04:55pm] |
NAME: Kelly-Rae. Kelly for short
AGE: 16, soon to be 17.
GENDER: Female
LOCATION: New York
WEAPON OF CHOICE?: sharp scissors, knives, pills.
AREA OF CHOICE?: thigh, upper arm
LINES, WORDS, or SHAPES?: lines.
HAVE RITUALS?: Not really. Just listening to loud music, I guess.
ASHAMED?: yes.
LENGTH OF SELF HARM?: for about four years now, it's gotten pretty bad, but not all the time.
WHO KNOWS?: my mom, and anybody who ever cared to notice.
WHO WILL NEVER FIND OUT?: quite a few people.
DIAGNOSED?: yeah.
GONE TO THE HOSPITAL?: yes, but for no point. They never do anything but keep you there and ask you questions while you have a needle in your arm.
MEDICATION?: lexapro
PSYCHOLOGIST?: mmhmm.
PSYCHIATRIST?: yeah
PSYCHE WARD?: no, but i've wondered.
WANT TO STOP?: sometimes.
IF SO, WHY?: it scares me, but it also makes me feel so much better.
PICTURE OF YOURSELF: 
ahhhhh
|
|
|
[04 Jul 2007|01:12pm] |
NAME: Cameron
AGE: 25
GENDER: Male
LOCATION: Cambridgeshire UK
WEAPON OF CHOICE?: small blade
AREA OF CHOICE?: inner arms
LINES, WORDS, or SHAPES?: lines
HAVE RITUALS?: not that I am aware of
ASHAMED?: no way
LENGTH OF SELF HARM?: 4 years off and on
WHO KNOWS?: My parents do now
WHO WILL NEVER FIND OUT?: dunno
DIAGNOSED?: yep
GONE TO THE HOSPITAL?: yep, been dragged kicking and screaming twice
MEDICATION?: was on before, may need to consider going on again
PSYCHOLOGIST?: yep
PSYCHIATRIST?: yep
PSYCHE WARD?: no, been threatened with it thou
WANT TO STOP?: not right now
IF SO, WHY?:
Old member coming back again, Hope everyone's been well.
|
|
| welcome, me |
[26 Jun 2007|06:05pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
sick |
] |
NAME: "Dom"
AGE: 24
GENDER: Female
LOCATION: New Hampshire
WEAPON OF CHOICE?: in order of preference- box cutter, push pin, sharpened nail file, scissors
AREA OF CHOICE?: left forearm, left upper arm, thighs, legs, shoulders, lips
LINES, WORDS, or SHAPES?: Lines
HAVE RITUALS?: sharpening first, then making lines next to each other
ASHAMED?: ashamed, no.
LENGTH OF SELF HARM?: shallow cuts mostly, except for when the scissors get used
WHO KNOWS?: anyone who cared to look, probably
WHO WILL NEVER FIND OUT?: People who term themselves "helpers", with intentions to interfere with my free will to make decisions and choices for myself, hopefully.
DIAGNOSED?: nah
GONE TO THE HOSPITAL?: not for si, hate hospitals.
MEDICATION?: no
PSYCHOLOGIST?: no
PSYCHIATRIST?: no
PSYCHE WARD?: no, but I've always wondered if there'd be good friends to find there.
WANT TO STOP?: no
IF SO, WHY?: I like it.
PICTURE OF YOURSELF: Photographs steal your soul. Have one of Sephiroth instead :)
|
|
|
[14 Nov 2006|11:06pm] |
|
Under the link is a survey I have made about SI in order for research purposes. Moderators, if this is unallowed, please feel free to delete this post. Surveyors, some topics in the survey may be triggering and uncomfortable, please read the disclaimer before you continue. Thank you for your time.
Disclaimer: this survey is on a strict volunteer basis where anonamosity is respected. There are topics in this survey that people may find triggering or uncomfortable, if you wish to continue this survey please feel free to skip any answers you do not wish to answer. Above all, I ask that you answer honestly in the hope that these results can help others. Those who fill out this survey are encouraged to elaborate on their answers to provide additional information.
Please email all completed surveys to dancinginthedarkness@hotmail.com
Feel free to email questions, comments and complaints
|
|
|
[05 Sep 2006|01:08am] |
Alllllright folks. So I really want to get this self injury documentary under way, but if any of you want to see this done, i need your help. Again, thank you to all the people who have send in their stories and pictures so far, but i need more to try and get this done. I am asking that anyone interesting in telling their story to me and for the purposes of this film to please contact me, the purpose of this short documentary is not to focus on the act of cutting, but the people behind it and their stories. Right now I am desperate for a few males to participate, I do not want your side unrepresented. I also really need people willing to do a little blurb on webcam or using a microphone for me. In addition to thoes, I am looking for 3 pictures to accompany each biography, one from early childhood, one from when you started cutting and your most recent picture. I greatly appreciate all your help, and i hope i wont dissapoint! Please send all information, questions and inquires to the adress below. Thank you
dancinginthedarkness@hotmail.com
|
|
|
[01 Sep 2006|12:35am] |
Hello, I am working on a still video about people who self injure, but i need more people to volunteer their stories. I want people to see what self injury really looks like, the people behind the cuts. Right now I am looking for the following things
"My name is ______ and I am ___ years old. I started self injuring when I was __ because ______. I still self injure because ______ (or) I stopped self injurying when i was __ because _______. Then just say a little about who you are."
Along with information along thoes sorts, i would like at least two photographs of yourself, preferably one as a child (or around the age you started to SI) and a recent one. And if any of you are willing to either do a filmed or audio interview (via webcam, mic, ect) please email that to me as well, it would be greatly appreciated!!!
btw, my email adress is dancinginthedarkness@hotmail.com
|
|
| Hey there...I'm new. |
[20 Apr 2006|10:40pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 pissed off/ depressed |
] |
NAME: Liz
AGE: 17
GENDER: female
LOCATION: Chicago
WEAPON OF CHOICE?: Razor blades
AREA OF CHOICE?: forearms and legs
LINES, WORDS, or SHAPES?: mostly lines and sometimes words
HAVE RITUALS?: I usually cut while sitting at my computer desk when no one is home or in the bathroom if my dad is home. I am usually listening to music when I SI...unless I am in the bathroom.
ASHAMED?: sometimes
LENGTH OF SELF HARM?: 9 years
WHO KNOWS?: Most of my family, a lot of my friends, and a few teachers.
WHO WILL NEVER FIND OUT?: people who don't meet me...it's pretty obvious that I do it.
DIAGNOSED?: I've been diagnosed as bipolar & clinically depressed. I've self diagnosed myself with anxiety disorder, paranoia, ADD, and borerline personality disorder.
GONE TO THE HOSPITAL?: yes
MEDICATION?: Prozac and Welbutrin
PSYCHOLOGIST?: none
PSYCHIATRIST?: I see her every six weeks and a therapist every other week
PSYCHE WARD?: I've was in the psych ward ward for the better part of my freshman year of high school
WANT TO STOP?: yes
IF SO, WHY?: I am sick of hurting the people I love
PICTURE OF YOURSELF: ( my ugly faceCollapse )
|
|
| hello I'm new |
[12 Feb 2006|11:01pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 blank |
] |
NAME: Kelly
AGE: 17
GENDER:female
LOCATION:Canada
WEAPON OF CHOICE?:scissors, tacks, knives and nailfiles and nailclippers
AREA OF CHOICE?: bedroom/bathroom
LINES, WORDS, or SHAPES?: lines
HAVE RITUALS?: not really
ASHAMED?: defionatly
LENGTH OF SELF HARM?: 5 years on and off
WHO KNOWS?: I think my mom does, one friend but she thinks its something I used to do.
WHO WILL NEVER FIND OUT?: my friends my family ...anyone ever.
DIAGNOSED?: no
GONE TO THE HOSPITAL?:no
MEDICATION?: no
PSYCHOLOGIST?:no
PSYCHIATRIST?:no
PSYCHE WARD?:no
WANT TO STOP?: I think so
IF SO, WHY?: I want to feel normal ..I want to actually be able to talk about what is bothering me instead of taking it out on myself and then hiding it.
PICTURE OF YOURSELF: I can't post one sorry :(
|
|
| Goodbye my loves |
[06 Nov 2005|10:27pm] |
I'm leaving this community.
I haven't cut to break the skin in a year. Which I am proud of.
I have also quit smoking.
This has been a trial for me. Trial of will I suppose. I've gone to running, the socially acceptable SI.
I will always feel an instant connection with people I see with scars. Knowing I've been there too. My scars aren't all 'public', but the deep ones on my shoulders will stay there and remind me where I've been.
To anyone who really wants to quit SI, I wish you luck. It's a process; a long one. Stay strong. Rely on your friends, that's what they're there for. They love you. We love you.
If you ever need someone to spill words at, you may leave me a message here. Or on AIM: yosamm11.
Hugs
~SaM
|
|
| "the right reasons" |
[03 Oct 2005|12:09pm] |
Are there such a thing as "the right reasons" for wanting to stop SI-ing? I've been a self-injurer for eight years, and have "stopped" several times, always to end up hurting myself again when life became too overwhelming. In the past, when I stopped, it was always for myself - no one knew about my self-injury, and I always told myself that I would stop because it was bad for me and I had to find a new way of dealing with my issues. The last time I started again was about 6 months ago, after my grandmother died. At that point, I came to terms with self-injury as a coping method - after all, it didn't hurt anyone else, and didn't cause much lasting damage to myself. I decided that I'd stop being ashamed of it.
Then, about 2 months ago, my boyfriend found out that I'd been self-injuring again. He'd known I'd done it in the past, but when he found out that I'd started again, he started to really worry. It was like my hurting myself actually hurt him as well. He begged me to stop, and for now, I have. I'm just wondering, though, is there any point to even trying to stop since I'll probably end up doing it again, and I didn't want to stop in the first place?
Has anyone here ever been in a similar situation - where someone you love has asked you to stop and you do just for them? Has it worked? Have you been able to stop? I don't want to start SI-ing again, and if I do, I know I'll end up hurting my boyfriend twice as much. At the same time, sometimes I can't control it. I get so depressed I do it without even thinking. I don't think that people who don't self-injure understand how overpowering the desire to SI can be...
|
|
|
[30 Sep 2005|02:11pm] |
NAME: Cheryl D
AGE: 17
GENDER: Female
LOCATION: Calgary Alberta
WEAPON OF CHOICE?: Hair Razors
AREA OF CHOICE?: Legs and Thighs.
LINES, WORDS, or SHAPES?: All
HAVE RITUALS?: Not really.
ASHAMED?: Only when people confront me about it infront of a crowd.
LENGTH OF SELF HARM?:
WHO KNOWS?: People know I did it, not sure if they know I still do.
WHO WILL NEVER FIND OUT?: Everyone?
DIAGNOSED?: Yeah.
GONE TO THE HOSPITAL?: At least 3 times.
MEDICATION?: Celexa, which I ODed on.
PSYCHOLOGIST?: Yeah, one.
PSYCHIATRIST?: Yeah.
PSYCHE WARD?:Twice.
WANT TO STOP?: Kinda. I want to because I know It'll piss off the people who love me, but I know I'm in control of it, and it's something to calm me. It works, so why not?
IF SO, WHY?: I don't like hurting my loved ones.
PICTURE OF YOURSELF:
|
|
|
[17 Sep 2005|01:54am] |
NAME: anonymous
AGE: 20
GENDER: female
LOCATION: united states
WEAPON OF CHOICE?: x-acto knife
AREA OF CHOICE?: mood dependent
LINES, WORDS, or SHAPES?: the first two
HAVE RITUALS?: no
ASHAMED?: slightly
LENGTH OF SELF HARM?: several months
WHO KNOWS?: a handful of people
WHO WILL NEVER FIND OUT?:
DIAGNOSED?: yes
GONE TO THE HOSPITAL?: yes
MEDICATION?: yes
PSYCHOLOGIST?: yes
PSYCHIATRIST?: yes
PSYCHE WARD?: yes
WANT TO STOP?: yes
IF SO, WHY?: --
PICTURE OF YOURSELF: --
|
|
|
[30 Aug 2005|05:45pm] |
NAME:elizabeth
AGE:15
GENDER:girl
LOCATION:trashlanta, georgia, u.s.
WEAPON OF CHOICE?:box cutter
AREA OF CHOICE?:arms. but I'm better, so forcibly now my chest.
LINES, WORDS, or SHAPES?:lines, shapes only sometimes
HAVE RITUALS?: ice and salt?
ASHAMED?: not so much.
LENGTH OF SELF HARM?:15 now. started at 10. so 5.
WHO KNOWS?:mental hospital, regular hospital, parents, brother. when it comes to secrets, death is funny.
WHO WILL NEVER FIND OUT?: some cunts around the corner
DIAGNOSED?:probably.
GONE TO THE HOSPITAL?:twice in month intervals
MEDICATION?:I used to take prozac, that almost killed me [yet made me laugh at the same time.] then switched to: lithium, zoloft, clonapin, serequil, something, birth control, something something. lithium kills your brain
PSYCHOLOGIST?:gone
PSYCHIATRIST?:next monday
PSYCHE WARD?:most boring fucking place. I broke the sink pipes
WANT TO STOP?: 1/3 of my thoughts do.
IF SO, WHY?:tired of questions
PICTURE OF YOURSELF:in my journal I have some.
|
|
|
[25 Aug 2005|10:53pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 exhausted |
] |
NAME: Kat
AGE: 19
GENDER: Female
LOCATION: Australia
WEAPON OF CHOICE?: Blade
AREA OF CHOICE?: Forearms...then ran out of room and turned to my stomach, upper arms and thighs
LINES, WORDS, or SHAPES?: Lines mostly, words rarely and shapes once or twice
HAVE RITUALS?: Yes, paper, towel on a biscuit tin, cut, clean up...no evidence
ASHAMED?: Very, but I don't let people know that I am
LENGTH OF SELF HARM?: 9 years
WHO KNOWS?: Everyone which is totally humiatating at best
WHO WILL NEVER FIND OUT?: My primary school teachers and friends, my boss
DIAGNOSED?: BPD, PTSD with a touch of OCD
GONE TO THE HOSPITAL?: Too many times to count
MEDICATION?: Refuse it
PSYCHOLOGIST?: Na not worth it
PSYCHIATRIST?: I don't need my brain shrunk!!!
PSYCHE WARD?: 36 times
WANT TO STOP?: So very much. It's 13 weeks at present but I aim for 6 months (32 weeks roughly)
IF SO, WHY?: I have so many scars that I sometimes can't find a place to cut. I also want to be a youth worker and I can't do that while I'm still cutting.
PICTURE OF YOURSELF: Sorry!
|
|
|
[17 Aug 2005|01:41am] |
NAME:Erin
AGE:18
GENDER:Femal
LOCATION:mass, united states
WEAPON OF CHOICE?:razorblades
AREA OF CHOICE?:anywhere mostly inner lower arm and ankle
LINES, WORDS, or SHAPES?:all three
HAVE RITUALS?:used to, i was obsessivly particularly clean then i stopped caring
ASHAMED?:no not really
LENGTH OF SELF HARM?:five or six years
WHO KNOWS?:close friends any one who sees and isnt ingnorant enough to believe w/e bs excuse i have. my parents sort of know but think i stopped but on accasion find some *shrug*
WHO WILL NEVER FIND OUT?:i dont know
DIAGNOSED?:schitz, ocd, anxioty and sever depression =/
GONE TO THE HOSPITAL?:numerous times
MEDICATION?:used to be on haldol, risperadol, and a bunch of other things
PSYCHOLOGIST?:not any more
PSYCHIATRIST?:not anymore
PSYCHE WARD?:a few times
WANT TO STOP?:not really
IF SO, WHY?:
PICTURE OF YOURSELF:dont have any uploaded on this computer
|
|
|
[15 Aug 2005|03:35pm] |
NAME: Maz
AGE: 16
GENDER: female
LOCATION: london, england
WEAPON OF CHOICE?: sharpener blade
AREA OF CHOICE?: top of arms, ribs, top of legs
LINES, WORDS, or SHAPES?: just lines
HAVE RITUALS?: not really
ASHAMED?: yes
LENGTH OF SELF HARM?: about 4 years
WHO KNOWS?: few friends, ex boyfriend
WHO WILL NEVER FIND OUT?: everyone else
DIAGNOSED?: no
GONE TO THE HOSPITAL?: no
MEDICATION?: none
PSYCHOLOGIST?: no
PSYCHIATRIST?: no
PSYCHE WARD?: no
WANT TO STOP?: yes
IF SO, WHY?: i don't like it, there are better ways to cope with things
PICTURE OF YOURSELF:
|
|
mellow