It didn't work, and now I smell like a tart. A *fruit* tart.

3weeks4dreamwidth will be starting soon!

There's a friending meme up now, if you want to join in:

Manda took and passed her driving test! Was this morning; went very well, apparently. She made one or two (minor) mistakes, but on the whole the driving instructor was evidently impressed and told her that she is an excellent driver, so!

(There was some question vis a vis: "who was your instructor?", which, ha? Glad I've still got it, I guess. Welp.)

Let her borrow my car (me in the passenger seat) to get over there and then back; she did fine on the drive out, though as I remarked, the way I had her go out (via the highway) was probably more intense than the actual test itself. "You're going to pass and it'll be fine, but that's not going to be a fun trip" — and indeed, it wasn't, though we managed well enough.

On the drive out, "Blinding Lights" by The Weeknd popped up.

"Oh, I love this song! I didn't realize you liked it."

"...my dude, I got it from you."

"What? You like The Weeknd?"

And so I laughed a little and explained that she'd sent it to me ages back, and so it had of course made it onto my regular playlist, because she was right that I liked it quite a bit.

"I didn't realize —"

We talked a little more, and I told her the joke I have about Max and our friend Brian — that they're "brainwormed" in the same way ("same worms, different brain"), and then how shadaras refers to it (because we have a lot of overlap in some specific areas and sometimes it's like, "yes, this person will love this" because one of us adores it), and —

"Okay," she said. "I get it, I think. It's like — there's this song, I think it's by, uh, a band called of Montreal?"

"...yeah?"

"It's, um, the chorus is something about Antarctica? It came on in your car —"

"When we were driving out to see Colin Meloy in Astoria in December of 2022?"

"...YES!"

"Yeah, um — the one where they keep talking about how much they love each other and the deranged roleplay they want to do?"

"Yes! That one!"

"'Wraith Pinned to the Mist and Other Games'," and I went ahead and pulled it up.

We both listened to it — she sang along for bits of it, while I only sang the bridge, which is my favorite part and why I love the song ("maybe I'll never die, I'll just keep growing younger with you/and you'll grow younger too/now it seems too lovely to be true/but I know, the best things always do"), then when it was finished:

"That's the brain worm you infected me with," said very lovingly, which —

You know, I suppose there's worse legacies to have?

I feel like I ought to have more to say, but the last week has been more of the same: making bread (experimenting with sourdough, mostly hydration ratios, though I did do at least one pass at the cranberry walnut loaf and while it wasn't perfect it was good enough that I'm going to keep trying, it made excellent toast), noodling at writing stuff, and — well.

Last week, Maximo was like, "oh I'm not sick, it's just allergies" as he became, in short order, Very Goopy.

"I don't think that's just allergies," I said (helpfully! I am helpful). "You sound like a frog."

He rolled his eyes, but — well, dear reader, I was correct, it was a rather nasty headcold, one which he kindly passed on to me. It's been going around his work, evidently — everyone's negative for, well, everything (including Maximo), no fever/body aches/anything that would point to flu or COVID, just — goop. Good ol' rhinovirus, I guess.

Anyway, yes — he was like, "I don't think I'm sick", and then he was, I caught it from him, and thus had two days of sort of sneeze-y, goopy misery. Today is the first day that I've felt halfway normal since Thursday, and, well — ended up with a migraine, because the universe has a sense of humor. (Deep sigh.)

Was supposed to take a sourdough class that a friend of a friend was teaching and wanted feedback on; texted her yesterday thanking her for the invitation and telling her that in the interest of not passing along the crud, I wouldn't be going. So. You know. Boo.

Stayed home, obvs. Max went up to Salem to go meet one of his friends to play disc golf, since the weather was fine, and as soon as he left I went back to bed and didn't get up for a solid three and a half hours. Took pain meds, curled up in the dark, slept it off. Woke up not being entirely sure that words were, well, working, but mostly felt better, and have felt okay most of the rest of the day.

And, well, yeah.

The weather has been sort of shit lately — rainy enough that I can't start doing the outdoors stuff I want to do (clearing out raised beds, digging up the bulbs I want to get rid of in the front yard, because the hyacinth has more or less taken over the entirety of the corner and I am sick of it), also cold until today. It's actually supposed to snow overnight Monday, which is very ?! considering that today was 60F, and may explain the migraine (they are, alas, weather-linked).


The Fandom Trumps Hate (hereafter FTH) auctions wrapped this evening. Was sort of relieved to see that I got bids on both of them? Was half-afraid, going into this, that no one would bid on me — did actually have a couple of friends where I was like, "PLEASE, IF IT GETS TO THE LAST FEW HOURS AND NO ONE HAS..." — but, well, yeah. Did get bids! Got multiple bids, even, on the writing, which is still astounding to me, but FTH is one of the events that's for a good cause, so it's less, "ah yes, You Specifically are Desired" and more, "what you're doing is interesting enough and it's for a decent enough reason that no one's going to begrudge spending $5 on it". Though, er — I think the last bid for writing was more like $55? Which is, again, a bit "!!" to think about, but oh, well.

I won't find out about assignments until probably sometime next week, but I'm looking forward to it, so. Hoping that the second-place bidder from the writing auction also wants something, because A). More money going to charity = good, and B). They left a really lovely comment on something I'd written, which made me think, "ah, we have similar taste!", and so I want to know what they'd request, honestly.


Not much else to report, I think. Lots of grumbling re: physical health stuff (three migraines in two weeks, including one that more or less Lingered for three days) — the migraines were honestly what came up in therapy last, along with, "I know that rejection sucks but boy it really sucks" — and that's not terribly interesting to talk about, plus y'all heard from a lot as part of the Talking Meme Month stuff, so. I am still noodling over thoughts on writing for that, for the record, and when I finally have something coherent to answer the questions that were posed to me, I'll share it. It's very — mm. Part of it is that I'm reluctant to give advice on how to write, because I feel like it's personal/subjective, and what makes "good writing" depends on things like what the purpose of it is (e.g. is it technical writing, are you trying to convey information or instructions, are you telling a story — and if so, what sort of story) as well as your own personal style and preferences. I'm never going to write like Hemingway or Dickens, but I'm not particularly fond of either of their styles (nothing against them, really), so of course it's not going to sound the same, and if someone comes to what I've written looking for that, they're going to walk away annoyed.

I can talk a lot about how to develop the habit of it, which is how I think you get better, but...I mean...it also feels very deeply weird to position myself as an expert on this when I have recently gotten rejected. I haven't done anything meaningful with writing in about fifteen years — I mean, I write for myself, and it's fun, but I definitely haven't met the publication goals I set out to, etc, and so there's this feeling hanging over me of, "man, do I have enough know-how to feel comfortable answering this stuff?"

I think the answer is yes, with some hedging, but, well.

We'll see.

Watch this space, I guess, in the meantime, and I will probably try to throw up something coherent once my head is no longer actively trying to kill me.

I signed up to do work for fandomtrumpshate this year. So, er.

Two different auctions, one for writing (obvs) and one for fan labor.

Writing auction is here — 20-50k words, up to E rating, original work. There's more details at the link, but basically, if you want a bespoke romance novel, you get a bespoke romance novel. Or, you know, SFF action-adventure or whatnot, it's really up to you.

People who are familiar with The Road Through the Mountains or In the Lord's Manor: YEAH, YOU ALREADY KNOW WHAT I LIKE TO WRITE, AND IF THAT'S WHAT YOU WANT, I'M FUCKING THRILLED.

(People that liked the House Ilizana stuff in particular — you know who you are — I have a planned-but-not-written longfic about Jastira and her lady's maid and what they got up to prior to her marriage to Mal's dad that I have been itching for an excuse to write, so if you look at this and go, "man, $5, that's pretty reasonable, I wonder if she'd be willing to...", the answer is YES.)

Genuinely, though, if there's anything I've done that you've liked and wanted more of, bids start at $5! It goes to charity! I will write basically anything as long as it doesn't hit my DNWs!

Bidder's choice as to which charity stuff goes to, please bid on me? Ha ♥


The fan labor action is here, and it's the one I imagine more people will be interested in. Ever wanted to play one of my campaigns but not had a chance to because of timing, wanting to play solely with people you know, or similar? GOOD NEWS. I'm offering a bespoke ttrpg one-shot. Limited in system (D&D 5e, Monster of the Week, Blades in the Dark), but 3-4 hours depending on players and what people want, I will work with the bidder on what themes they want present, etc. Again, details are at the link, but if you've ever been like, "the games you run sound cool, I want to play with you", good news!

Bidding for that starts at $20, again bidder's choice as to which charity you donate to. ♥ Please note that $20 total for tabletop for up to 6 people is a fucking steal, for most DMs/GMs it's more like $15-20 per person at the table, on the low end, so!

Bidding will open on March 3rd (and you bet your sweet bippy that I'm going to advertise again, so!).


I really doubt there'll be much competition for bids, so! Keep an eye out, if you want to bid, please do so, or if you know someone who would be interested in what I'm offering, point 'em at the auctions, yeah? :D

if I could travel anywhere, where would I go/what would I do?

I mean, honestly? I'm kind of boring. I'd go back to Spain and spend a week or two doing nothing more important than eating good food and visiting all the historical sites, maybe hit up Portugal while out there.

Max wants to visit Japan, someday I would like to visit Chile, but like — for the most part, "go back to Europe now that I'm older and theoretically have money" is near the top of the list. :D


Anyway, er — the sourdough adventures continue! I made crackers from discard (very good, worth doing again), and today I experimented and did a weird loaf (this recipe).

It turned out pretty well, actually!

It's very high hydration, which means it stuck awfully to my brotforms, but I'm going to drop it for next time, I think, and try again. "Next time" as in, "I'm probably going to make more bread this weekend, because Why Not".

We are moving ever closer to the cranberry walnut loaf of my dreams, which is the Important part. :D

what book(s) have you read only once that have stayed with you so long that you can never stop thinking about them? (Good and bad)

Ha, I'm a compulsive re-reader, so it's more like, "what have I read only once?"

Two come immediately to mind:

1). Atonement. If you know, you know. I don't know that it is possible to reread this book considering what the ending reveals — I mean, perhaps people do, but...lord.

2). A Fine Balance. It's a historical fiction novel about The Emergency declared in India in the 1970s. It's a brutal book. You end up caring for all the characters and, well. Given the time period and who they are socially, nothing good happens. It's not bleak per se (looking at you, A Little Life), but it's realistic in what was likely to have happened to each of them given considerations like caste, etc. It's a lot. I don't regret reading it, but I won't reread it. Once was enough.

I will say that for the most part, I don't finish stuff I'm not enjoying — life is short, there are many books, if I'm not into something I usually don't make it all the way through.

With that said, though, I absolutely loathed Blindsight by Peter Watts, and I am still annoyed that for a few years there it was held up as the piece of Science Fiction For Scientists.

(These days it seems to be stuff by Andy Weir, which I by and large haven't read, because The Martian was aggressively fine, and I could not get into Artemis.)

What is my favorite place in the world?

God. Uh. Hmm.

I want to toss some far-flung locales on here, but I haven't been there in over twenty years and God only knows if they're still nice, so. I guess we'll go with the places I have known well and loved.

It's a toss-up between:

The Salt Lake City Public Library, at least as I remember it circa 2010 (which, God, was a long time ago...!) — I went to a bunch of poetry readings etc here and always loved it and felt very in my element whenever I was there, and the rooftop garden is super neat.

Cape Perpetua, because it's fucking beautiful.

Swan Lake, Montana, because I spent just about every childhood here from the time I was 4 to the time I was 14.

Mesa Verde, because it's just fucking cool.

SF MoMA, because I adore it and have a lot of great memories of visiting different exhibits there (for several years in a row I had business stuff that took me to San Francisco at least once if not twice a year, and I always hit up SF MoMA when I went).

Anyway yes, I am Indecisive, you are welcome :D

Tabletop goals for the year?

In no particular order:

1). Finish the Bounty Hunter's Guild and give it a satisfying ending.
2). Run and wrap Goodbye My Darling.
3). Start the long-form Eberron campaign (name TBD).
4). Finish Space Heist and get it on itch.io, even if it's only as a public beta or something, because IT HAS BEEN LONG ENOUGH.

That's nice and concise, I think? :D

Will say that I do have a brief update re: sourdough — I made a successful starter and yesterday, I baked bread with it for the first time. Nothing fancy; I made two regular boules. The prove on it could probably have been a bit better, but dang, y'all, it tasted great. :D I ate sourdough toast this morning and it was everything I wanted. 10/10, would do again. ♥ So that's one thing crossed off my, "I want to try to do this" list, and now that I've done it the straight way, I can start playing with different flours and such (want to incorporate a bit of rye into it, for flavor), start thinking about inclusions, etc. I had this amazing fruit and nut bread at one point that I kinda want to try remaking...was like, walnut with dried cranberries? so, yeah.

We shall see!

(Day 16 was technically due YESTERDAY and I WILL DO IT, I just have a lot of thoughts on writing!)

1-5 novels/series I've read that I think other people should read so I can talk about them

Ha. Um. Hmmm.

This is always fun because it's like, "what DO I want other people to read, that isn't something they've already read?"

So!

A couple of pitches 'cos, you know, yeah.

1). Sunshine, by Robin McKinley. This is always one of those ones where it's like, "I feel like people were told to read it and bounced hard off the premise", because it came out when "vampires" was still "Anne Rice" and pre-Twilight. Post-Twilight (and I guess to some extent the Sookie Stackhouse books?), we're all kind of burnt out on 'em, and yet.

Sunshine — or Rae, to her friends — is a baker in the coffee house that's owned by her stepdad, Charlie. In a world where vampires, demons, and weres are common, she's about as normal as you can get. High school graduate by the "skin of her teeth", as she puts it, she's not exactly a deep thinker. A huge introvert with a desire for nothing more than to be left alone, the coffee house is her life, and she sees nothing wrong with that.

...until, you know, she's kidnapped by vampires to be used as an object of torment for a different vampire, and has to tap on the heritage granted to her by her extremely powerful sorcerer father to escape.

In other books I feel like this would turn into something where she learns to "embrace her dark self" or whatever, but no — she really does just want to go back to the coffee house and keep on Doing The Thing.

Alas, alack, the world has other opinions — and the vampires who nabbed her are very curious how the hell it is that she managed to escape...and why it is she took their other (vampire) prisoner with her.

2). Mudlark, by Lara Maiklem. Nonfiction. If you have no idea what mudlarking is, you need to read this. If you do know what it is, you should probably already have read it, and if you haven't, well, what are you waiting for?

(I know, I know, that's a hell of a review, and yet. I'm not wrong!)

3). Ombria in Shadow, Patricia McKillip. People who know me are probably going, "??" at the idea that I'm not recommending you read Riddle-Master; that's fine.

Ombria in Shadow opens with a death: the rule of Ombria, Royce Greve, has died, and a woman of unknown relation, Dominia Pearl, is taking over as regent for his heir. As her first act, she tosses Lydea, Royce's mistress, into the streets of Ombria.

This could be the beginning of some kind of weird revenge/redemption arc, but that's not where it goes.

Lydea is capable and clever, sure, and there is someone else who people want to see on the throne of Ombria, but there's multiple things at play, multiple factions at work, and much to consider going on beneath the surface. The politics are fun, the magic is wonderful, and the ending is entirely unexpected. It's lyrical and beautiful and I love it so. Finding a signed copy at a used bookstore was one of the best unexpected gifts I've ever gotten from the universe.

4). Strong Poison, Dorothy Sayers. It's in the public domain now! You really have no excuse not to read it. Er.

Warnings for the usual period-typical stuff to the side (and Sayers is not as bad as most), it's a book about a murder trial — specifically, murder by arsenic — that's laid out rather well and plotted in a way that's quite fun. It's dated as hell, of course, being as it came out in the 1930s, but it's fun, the characters are likable, and the plot itself is quite good.

Also I find that if people read it and like it, I can convince them to read Have His Carcasse and Gaudy Night, which are, I think, two of the best ones. :)


I think that's it, though of course I imagine shadaras will pop up and remind me about all the books I have been like, "?! you haven't read THAT?" at them about, so watch this space? :P

(As per usual, if you want to ask, you can do so here!)

Romance! Tell us about your fav romance media (books, movies, TV, etc.)

Ha, I guess it is Valentine's Day? :) (Not that Maximo and I did much except watch The Boy and the Heron and eat pots de creme!)

I'm going to be very casual about this and divide it roughly between books and films.

Books

So — I've read a fuckload of romance novels. Like, more than is probably healthy? Anyway. There's a few book-romances (not necessarily romance books) that will always get a nod from me. In no particular order:

-War for the Oaks, the romance between Eddi and the Phouka. It has, hands-down, one of the best descriptions of romantic love I think I have ever seen in a book — specifically, an exchange where Our Brave Heroine asks the hero how he can be sure he loves her, and he lays out a very specific list of reasons that is just...yeah. That's what I think of when I think about love.

The quote is here.

Reluctantly, she remembered her suspicion, that he was playing at being in love. She didn't believe it anymore, not really. But she heard herself asking the hateful question anyway. "How do you know it's love? Maybe you haven't learned anything after all.

She expected a joke, an impassioned protest, an airy denial. Instead he looked gravely in her face and replied, "I've no surety that it is. I know only the parts of what I feel; I may be misnaming the whole. You dwell in my mind like a household spirit. All that I think is followed with, 'I shall tell that thought to Eddi.' Whatever I see or hear is colored by what I imagine you will say of it. What is amusing is twice so, if you have laughed at it. There is a way you have of turning your head, quickly and with a little tilt, that seems more wonderful to me than the practiced movements of dancers. All this, taken together, I've come to think of as love, but it may not be.

"It is not a comfortable feeling. But I find that, even so, I would wish the same feeling on you. The possibility that I suffer it alone — that frightens me more than all the host of the Unseelie Court."

-The Flatshare, Beth O'Leary. This was one that hit me at the right point in time, I think — I was roughly two years out of the relationship with my ex, finally beginning to acknowledge how fucked the whole thing had been from the beginning, and here was this really lovely novel that was about, well, realizing that you'd been in a horrible abusive relationship but that there was light and hope and laughter on the other side, that you could love someone wholeheartedly again and it would be okay. Plus the initial little setup for it — communicating solely through notes — was really lovely!

-Uprooted, Naomi Novik. The scene with the rose illusion...whew. If you know, you know. Also it's just a great book, hands down, so. Yeah.

Honorable mentions to: Beauty by Robin McKinley (twelve-year-old me was rather obsessed with it), Winter Rose by Patricia McKillip (tho I'm not sure I would term it a "romance", romantic attraction is rather at the center of it, ha), myriad other books that I'm trying to think of and just completely and utterly failing at right now? The problem with reading a lot and reading widely is that I can think of zillions of things and then the instant that I go to write something like this about them, my mind goes utterly and completely blank. Whoops.

Film

Again, in no particular order, and being sort of loose and easy with what we consider "romance", ha, I do not promise that I have good taste:

-"His Girl Friday". Hildy Johnson, intrepid girl reporter! She hides a murderer in a desk! Cary Grant romances her! It's a weird screwball comedy and it's one of my, "I don't feel well and I just want to watch something where everything turns out okay" movies. I watched it when I was recovering from surgery in 2021. V good, highly recommend. ♥

-"Three Thousand Years of Longing". It's Idris Elba as a djinn, with Tilda Swinton as a bookish scholar, with story and direction by George Miller, and if that's not enough for you, well — fine; it's a beautiful, strange fairy tale for adults.

-"Notting Hill". I have...such a soft spot for this movie, ha. Various people over time tried to ruin it for me by pointing out that the relationship at the heart of it would "never work out, long-term"; I know that, but that's not the point. For people who are not familiar: Will Thacker (Hugh Grant, this is literally the only role I like him in!) is the owner of a bookstore in the eponymous Notting Hill. Anna Scott (Julia Roberts) happens to come into his bookstore, sparks fly, it all sort of spirals out from there? The romance itself is fine, very 1990s in a lot of ways — I actually love it specifically for the deep and abiding love that exists between the friends that Will has in the film. The other romances that we see in the movie are very sweet and read as very genuine, and his friends are wonderful and support him when he needs support, and tell him he's been a twat when, well, he's being a twat. :D Who couldn't use a friend like that?

-"Moonstruck". Again, it's one of those movies where I have a huge soft spot for it. Cher stars alongside Nicholas Cage as a widowed woman who is trying to convince her fiance's brother (Cage) to come to their wedding. Of course, it's not that easy — Our Intrepid Heroine knows that her fiance is wrong for her in every conceivable way, but she's afraid of actually falling in love again, because her first husband died very young, in a horrible way. Enter her fiance's brother, who is a weird tortured artist of a baker (of all the things!), with whom she falls horribly, passionately in love with despite it being objectively the worst choice possible.

The thing is, they make it work. It's sort of funny, like — you don't want to root for them (she's blowing up her life!), but sometimes the right choice is the one that looks wrong on paper, and the two leads have great chemistry and really sell the whole idea of "right person, wrong time, fuck it, let's go for it anyway".

Also Olympia Dukakis is in it, and she's absolutely wonderful. Big ups to the granddad, too — he's amazing. :D

-"But I'm A Cheerleader". I cannot believe how many people I have had to introduce this movie to, good lord. Natasha Lyonne plays Megan, a high school senior and captain of the cheer squad who gets sent to a "pray the gay away" camp by her parents, who are convinced (as are her peers) that she is actually a lesbian. This despite her having done everything "right" — like, she's got a hunky boyfriend (quarterback on the football team), she participates in traditionally girly activities, etc, etc.

Enter camp, where at first she's fairly certain she doesn't belong, until a group therapy session goes awry and she realizes that she is, in fact, a gigantic lesbian. Whoops.

It is notable for being one of the first films I saw that had a lesbian couple as the focus where nothing horrible happened and they in fact got their happily-ever-after (implied). (The other was Better Than Chocolate, which I barely remember, so. :) ) Growing up in Utah, well — this movie was revolutionary, and seeing Clea Duvall as Graham was extremely helpful in some aspects. Is it a good movie? No, but I saw it at the right time and I think that while it's imperfect it holds up okay.


I'm sure there's other media, including podcasts, etc, but I genuinely cannot think of anything off the top of my head, whoops. :x Oh, well, maybe someday this post will get a sequel?