Queer Shapes

Time and again...if I want to have a great workout and feel great after the workout I simply need to eat the right things and avoid the wrong things. But if I want to feel tired, crampy and lame...junk food is the answer.

That is all.

I started up running again to accomplish some goals (half marathons etc) but now I find I don't have any ambition around running. Its a refuge. I do it to get away for a little while, get good and tired and to get into nature. There are two open space preserves up the hill from our house. I run up to them and into them. It's steep. I go slow. I go from exhilaration to feeling all into the landscape. I see deer, the trees are fresh and green and the air smells nice. I feel whole.

As I've said before I'm not very fast and I'm not a graceful gazelle. I move at my own pace and rhythm. I find with certain stresses encroaching on me, this is a reliable refuge. Free, available. Good.

I have been working out practically everyday and I have realized that my asthma has virtually disappeared. I have not had any major episodes and the one I did have was gone within a few minutes. I have heard it said that exercise triggers an attack, but I have had the opposite effect and I am wondering if this holds true for other asthmatics and if so, why had the medical field not promoted cardio workouts for asthmatics more? (Aside from the obvious that they can't rake in money from seeing patients and drug companies can't make money off of healthy people.)

I eat them as a tasty snack.

I guess I haven't been updating because I never really do anything new, and I feel a bit guilty about it.

Things aren't a lot different for me - I'm still too skinny, but getting there. I've stayed at a stable 106lbs for a while now and am aiming for a steady 120lbs by my birthday in July.

Routine-wise, I don't have one, but I've stopped feeling guilty about it. My lifestyle is chaotic at bestt (I work 50 hour weeks and volunteer for another 10-15) so I do what I can, when I can.
Rather than heading for numbers and measurements I've been aiming at keeping my stress levels down and my mental health manageable. So, I've been running and walking a lot. That combined with the lifting I do at work, I'm pretty fit. I pass pretty well as male (if passing as a 15 year old boy counts!) and my only real aims physically aside from putting on some pounds are to broaden my shoulders and narrow my hips, but the mental goals are much more of a priority for me.

So, that's me!

( Oh, and here's me looking grumpy and cold, but it's the best recent one I have!Collapse )

Anyone else experience an increase in their libido once a good workout regiment has been in effect for a while?
I know the endorphins, the increase in self-esteem and energy all play a part, but I find myself thinking about sex now more so than before. Age can play a part and maybe I am entering my mid-life crisis, lol. I just found that an interesting discovery while working out at the gym today.
Oh, and at the gym I did 1 hour on the elliptical, 12 minutes on the treadmill, abs, chest press, shoulder press, and high rows.
I am still at the same weight I have been at the last few weeks, and I am concentrating on what I eat a bit more to maybe help get off of the plateau.

Last week I had a ton of energy for my workouts. I also had a shit storm of stress. This week I just feel depleted. Today and yesterday I did my usual but it felt very difficult. I know this is partially about food (went away for the weekend and indulged), but also in part post adrenaline. 

Better food this week--dump the sugar. Hopefully things will gel.

Still dealing with the week but the horrible is mitigated by some good news and good outcomes. Yesterday was my designated hill training day.

I live at the base of foot hills with neighborhoods that wind up. Twilight, I missed the rain and did 3 miles in the roll. I felt something shift inside. I have been running for a few years now, on and off. I am slow compared to others. Sometimes it's painful. I've had lots of injuries too. I always return to it. Yesterday I found I was looking forward to it and that I felt good. The things that I usually fear about the encounter had evaporated. My mind was calm. I was calm.

I didn't know I had it in me to stay with something that has such a mental barrier to entry but I feel I changed and passed that barrier.

there is a well of difficult happening right now in my world. I won't detail because I don't care to.

Last night I ran hard. I ran beyond my zone because I needed for one thing to go right. I needed to feel free. I have the freedom of my body. I have the freedom to go hard. I have to freedom of this moment.

but I have been going to the gym practically every day.
I try and do at least 4 miles on the elliptical, and maybe a jog on the treadmill if I have time every time I go. I always do ab work and I alternate between muscle groups each day. Since I have begun this I have lost about 13 pounds, my muscles are looking pretty defined and I can fit in those jeans that were tucked in the bottom drawer waiting to be dusted off and worn again - WOOT!
Now I have to concentrate more on cardio and diet to continue the weight loss, since I have seemed to have plateaued.
Hope everyone keeps up the good work and have fun!