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[21 Nov 2006|12:37am] |
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mood |
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 apathetic |
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Anyone else start shit with their significant other (i.e. "I'm dumping you!", starting fights over little stuff) just to see their reaction? Just to see your own? I do. Probably too much. Borderline Personality Disorder. No wonder I have no friends...
I haven't cried in quite a long time, and I just "dumped" my boyfriend. I'm crying despite the lovely apathy that comes with hydrocodone.
I really want to SI. But I haven't done it in over a year (there is no space on my limbs for me to cut that isn't already scar tissue), I promised myself I wouldn't do it ever again. But I'm no good at keeping promises. If I cut though, I'll feel even more like shit for letting myself down... I'm all I have right now, so I can't do that. No food for 3 days, instead.
I'm considering getting really REALLY REALLY fat as the ultimate form of SI.
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| Heh. |
[31 May 2006|08:20pm] |
I just drank a bottle of Vicks 44 because I had nothing else to take and I wanted to do something stupid. Something to make me feel anything but normal sober old me. I hate the feeling of sober, average life.
Great.
Gotta love those weird urges.
It's like I can hear stuff in the medicine cabinet calling my name and saying "Hey! Life too real? Take me!"
And I go "WTF.... okay!"
Okay, that was stupid.
But that's how I feel sometimes.
ERDVHIWASFDHVCBVNAIWSDJCX
Hope everyone is having a lovely wednesday. Blah.
=| Meh.
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| oh, morticia |
[27 May 2006|12:16am] |
Erin O'connor is my new love. she has absolutely no tits, is 6'1" (maybe more, am little unsure), and looks like morticia. what's not to love?
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[20 May 2006|08:40pm] |
HA!
My mother and grandmother recently told me that I looked sick back in the fall.
Must have been too many drugs, too much drinking, too much sex, and not enough food and sleep.
Just the way I like my life.
Aaaaah.
I can't wait until I'm in the own apartment, all alone.. starting in August.
It will be so perfect. Perfect to do exactly everything I want.
It will be.. so yummy. In that really.. horrible way that we all (apparently) love.
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| ego death |
[13 May 2006|01:51am] |
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mood |
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 indescribable |
] |
I feel like destroying everything. And maybe then I could make it out intact.
...
I hear peroxide is good for making scars. Maybe I should invest in a new scar. Something discrete. Just as a memento.
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[07 May 2006|09:23pm] |
I almost died.
Now, I have to quit drinking, I have to quit drugs, and I have to quit smoking because of the wisdom teeth operation.
My liver sucks.
Sorry guys, if this is a stupid thing to post.
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| Just some of my shitty ass writing about shitty ass stuff. |
[25 Apr 2006|07:42pm] |
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mood |
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LAME AND SHITTY |
] |
I can push him away and push him away.
I can push them all away and be that girl.
That girl who never smiles unless it's forced. It's forced when the guys give you the free drinks and you say "thanks" and smile and pretend to care that they're whispering in your ear about you and them and finding somewhere private so you can "talk."
I can be the girl who is constantly falling apart. I can be that girl.
None of this matter, nothing in the real world matters. All the breaks ups and drama and bad hair days and lost friends. None of that matters when you've got this whole private world in which you can bury yourself.
No, I don't care if you can't afford a manicure this week, I've got more important things to worry about.
Like food and weight and drugs and exercise.
Like how many shots of vodka I can take and how many pills I have to swallow before I'm on the floor.
Constantly falling apart.
And all your stupid little drama doesn't even matter.
I've been dying for years.
And you're worried about if your outfit matches, if your hair looks okay, if those pants make your but look big.
There's truth in this somewhere, but you just can't find it without the help of someone who knows what the hell I'm talking about.
Oh no doubt, I care about if my but looks big too, but it's so much more than that.
It's the attitude, it's the air, it's the pulse that you give off. People can just see it in the air around you.
Untouchable.
You can't even grasp this.
Too far away and too far gone.
Take notes, people. This is life in the fast lane.
Your heart beats so fast and no one can quite catch you.
And only one person can make you slow down.
Only one person is worth your time.
Everyone else is just a stepping stone on the path that you're taking. Every man is just something to waste your time with. Except him.
Everyone else would tell you to slow down if they could, but they're not even trying to keep up, and before they get the words out you're off and gone to find someone else.
You won't slow down for anyone but him.
But he.
Him.
He doesn't even want you half the time.
Maybe that's why you only listen to him.
The only person who isn't fooled. The only man who isn't fooled. He isn't stupid. He isn't fooled by this game.
And that's why you want him so bad.
This isn't going to make sense in the morning.
Don't you just hate these words?
Everyone hates me.
( The rest in here...Collapse )
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| N00b. |
[18 Apr 2006|08:34pm] |
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Hi, I'm new and so have no idea how I should be acting really. Just thought I'd say hi and waste some space. Sorry guys, I'll read up a bit before I post again.
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| Famous People |
[13 Mar 2006|07:51pm] |
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mood |
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 bored |
] |
Ok, top 5 celebs of both sexes that you would do?
Mine:
Tori Amos
Julianne Moore
Gillian Anderson
Dar Williams
Kate Winslet
Johnny Depp
Antonio Banderas
Harrison Ford
Richard Gere
Sean Connery
Yeah, with the exception of Kate Winslet, they're all over 40.
~Kate
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| smoking |
[12 Mar 2006|10:51pm] |
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mood |
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 dirty |
] |
I have seriously missed rum and cigarettes. Sadly, there was no sodomy. Next time.
( +1Collapse )
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[09 Mar 2006|08:21pm] |
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I just want to express my deep appreciation and love for cigarettes. The funnest way to slowly kill myself.
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| Why Beer is Better than Religion |
[06 Mar 2006|09:42am] |
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mood |
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 LMFAO |
] |
"No one will kill you for not drinking Beer.
Beer doesn't tell you how to have sex.
Beer has never caused a major war.
They don't force Beer on minors who can't think for themselves.
When you have a Beer, you don't knock on people's doors trying to give it away.
Nobody's ever been burned at the stake, hanged, or tortured over his brand of Beer.
You don't have to wait 2000+ years for a second Beer.
There are laws saying Beer labels can't lie to you.
You can prove you have a Beer.
If you've devoted your life to Beer, there are groups to help you stop."
~Kate
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| Famous Potheads |
[04 Mar 2006|12:00pm] |
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mood |
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 stressed |
] |
Louis Armstrong
All 4 Beatles
Snoop Dogg
Bob Dylan
Whitney Houston
Jimi Hendrix
Mick Jagger
Bob Marley
George Michael
Willie Nelson
Noel Gallagher of Oasis
Pink
All of Pink Floyd
Melissa Etheridge
Art Garfunkel
Anthony Keidas of Red Hot Chili Peppers
Andrea Corr
Bing Crosby
Carlos Santana
Eminem
Jim Morrison
John Denver
Johnny Cash
Kurt Cobain
All of Led Zeppelin
Miles Davis
Neil Diamond
Neil Young
Pablo Picasso
Salvador Dali
Queen Victoria
Bill Clinton
Al Gore
Prince Harry
Abbie Hoffman
George W Bush
George Washington
Thomas Jefferson
James Madison
James Monroe
Andrew Jackson
Jesse Ventura
John F Kennedy
John Kerry
Newt Gingrich
Stephen King
Victor Hugo
William Shakespeare
Oscar Wilde
Hunter S Thompson
Jack Kerouac
Lewis Carroll
Rudyard Kipling
Johnny Depp
Steve Martin
Tommy Chong
Cheech Marin
Kate Moss
Brad Pitt
Jennifer Aniston
Harrison Ford
Kirsten Dunst
Drew Barrymore
Luke Wilson
Jack Black
Martha Stewart
Anjelica Huston
Arnold Schwarzenegger
Carrie Fisher
Conan O'Brian
Chris Farley
Jack Nicholson
Julia Roberts
John Wayne
Macaulay Culkin
Montel Williams
Mike Tyson
So yeah, basically everyone.
~Kate
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[04 Mar 2006|02:51pm] |
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| Famous Crazies |
[03 Mar 2006|05:49pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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so fuckin bored |
] |
Eating Disorders:
Fiona Apple
Karen Carpenter
Patty Duke
Jane Fonda
Mary-Kate Olsen
Christina Ricci
Ashlee Simpson
Richey James Edwards of the Manic Street Preachers
Terri Schiavo
Self-Injury:
Fiona Apple
Kurt Cobain
Johnny Depp
Diana, Princess of Wales
Angelina Jolie
Courtney Love
Marilyn Manson
Iggy Pop
Christina Ricci
Vincent van Gogh
Elizabeth Wurtzel
Depression:
Harrison Ford
Stephen Hawking
William James
Rudyard Kipling
Abraham Lincoln
Robert Oppenheimer
Donny Osmond
Anne Rice
Bertrand Russell
Anne Sexton
Brooke Shields
James Taylor
Diana, Princess of Wales
Mike Wallace
Brian Wilson
Elizabeth Wurtzel author of Prozac Nation
Bipolar:
John Adams
Hans Christian Andersen
Ludwig Van Beethoven
Jeff Buckley
Kurt Cobain
Winston Churchill
Charles Dickens
Patty Duke
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Carrie Fisher
Francis Scott Key Fitzgerald
William Faulkner
Alexander Hamilton
Ernest Hemingway
Jimi Hendrix
Kay Redfield Jamison author of An Unquiet Mind
John Keats
Meriwether Lewis
Marilyn Monroe
Ben Moody of Evanescence
Edvard Munch
Napoleon
Isaac Newton
Florence Nightingale
Sylvia Plath
Trent Reznor of NIN
Robert Alexander Schumann
Robert Louis Stevenson
Ben Stiller
Mark Twain
Vincent Van Gogh
Virginia Woolf
Tennessee Williams
Anxiety Disorders:
Kim Basinger
Charles Darwin
Donny Osmond
Sigmund Freud
Barbra Streisand
Florence Nightingale
Howard Stern
Schizophrenia:
Jim Gordon of Derek and the Dominos
John Nash
Syd Barrett of Pink Floyd
Zelda Fitzgerald
Peter Green of Fleetwood Mac
So just remember kidlets, we can't be that fucked.
Coming soon: famous druggies and famous queers!
~Kate
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| Search Party... |
[25 Feb 2006|12:18am] |
It's been asked by a few of us now but I will continue:
Where is Milla/ dirtyseed? has anyone heard anything yet?
nimrodel_elight you said you would know something by now, any luck? I've emailed lots but no news, the last few times we spoke were worrying, she was not in a good way.
I'd really just love to know she's ok.
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[14 Feb 2006|11:02pm] |
lolz.
sry for always posting uneccesary crap.
so in other news my sister who is in prison for murdering our mother decided on the 11th anniversary of her death, was going to cut herself open, so deep she needed stitches. now shes on suicide watch and she has been given lots of new happy pills. will list later if youre interested. blah. happy v day girlies.
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