![[sticky entry]](https://shinsengumi.dreamwidth.org//www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/entry/sticky_entry.png){kind=small}
Sticky: "Set thy steadfast hand upon this heart!"![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif){kind=small}
cruxis, or VSSAKJ from a broad variety of internet sources. They are (mostly) all me.
Sticky: tales of pact![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
aestivalis are gonna play all* the games in the Tales of series!
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
fffx round upFive years of fffx later, I want to reflect on what I've learned and how it's helped me grow as a writer. It is by far my favourite exchange and I'm so glad it exists!
fandom5k 2026Hello creator!
I'm Fel o/ I'm VSSAKJ on Ao3 and broadly around the internet; you can also find more of me via alistel.neocities.org.
I would love for you to create something you're happy with—please disregard any prompt or factors you're not interested in!
You can browse other letters I've written in my exchanges tag or view a simpler list of likes in my general exchange letter.（￣︶￣）↗ Treats welcome if you're so inclined (and thank you!).
( General info. )
It's old-style fandom time again. Please enjoy this short/ep-length FST about the 18-year-old repressed version of Daigo I write in a private RP game.
Behind the cut, this entry contains smut and homophobic language.
( long line leading somewhere: a daigo (sigilscape) ep )
I need something to look forward to again.
I have six assignments due for school this month and at least two exchange writing things. I have a system to (help) deliver by the end of February that's massively behind because it was headless for 6+ months last year. I have personal projects I want to put time into. I have volunteering.
I am getting better. I am doing better. It's getting there.
I missed sign-ups but there were enough public cards around on bsky and Discord that I could generate my own, for great incest. ♪(´▽｀)
( Read more... )yuletide 2025Hello creator!
I'm Fel o/ I'm VSSAKJ on Ao3 and broadly around the internet; you can also find more of me via alistel.neocities.org.
I would love for you to create something you're happy with—please disregard any prompt or factors you're not interested in!
You can browse other letters I've written in my exchanges tag or view a simpler list of likes in my general exchange letter.（￣︶￣）↗ Treats welcome if you're so inclined (and thank you!).
( General info. )The nicest thing about rereading a favourite book series you started reading when you were thirteen is how much less thirteen you are twenty+ years later. I can't remember when I last read it all through myself, but I read Cassiel's Servant a couple of years ago, and last experienced the series starting around late 2012 when my wife read it for the first time.
Kushiel's Legacy by Jacqueline Carey is a formative set of texts for me. It helped me start learning compassion for the concept of weakness; I grew up under high expectations and transmuted a presumed need for achievement or success into a depression that insisted I should be a robot because then a) wouldn't feel anything and b) would be perfect.
Depression's still here, but so is compassion and empathy, so I take that as a win.
It also introduced me to the concept of sexual pleasure being positive, and the broader concept of all consenting love being positive. My parents came from conservative backgrounds (British colonials and small-town Manitoban farming) and raised me within a conservative context. I learned about 'gay' from the internet. It wasn't in the book I got to read to learn about puberty.
Also: bisexual leads! Phèdre was my first and she remains stunning. Bless you for trying, Imriel. Moirin, you are a beautiful flavour all your own.
... Embarrassingly, the series did not teach me geography! I am still ashamed thirteen-year-old me didn't realise the setting was fantasy Europe. Actual the-map-and-cultures-roughly-align fantasy Europe, not something playing with fantastic-Europe concepts. Look I can still name all thirteen provincial and territorial Canadian capitals, leave me alone.
With the state of queer publishing being what it is today, I think a lot of these experiences seem minimal or, like, they could've come from 'a better source', whatever that might be. Frankly, I don't care. They're my experiences, and not only the internet, but the whole political and social landscape was different then. Twenty years is long enough.
So I recommend these books and I strongly recommend not reading their marketing taglines, because those are (unfortunately) set up to align it with the algorhythm and Fifty Shades of Grey and romantasy and other metric-based marketing nonsense that it was written prior to.
And hey, if you're unsure? Check out Starless instead. Starless distills all the strongest parts of Kushiel's Legacy down into one standalone story, and Khai and Zariya stand proudly shoulder-to-shoulder with every other Carey protagonist.
( Thoughts on Kushiel's Dart. Vague spoilers up until the first major twist in book one. )
Hello creator!
I'm Fel o/ I'm VSSAKJ on Ao3 and broadly around the internet; you can also find more of me via alistel.neocities.org.
I would love for you to create something you're happy with—please disregard any prompt or factors you're not interested in!
You can browse other letters I've written in my exchanges tag or view a simpler list of likes in my general exchange letter.（￣︶￣）↗ Treats welcome if you're so inclined (and thank you!).
( General info. )last updated: 10 Sep 2025, complete!
( Fandom-specific info. )I don't think I can write paragraphs outside of fiction anymore! Here's a collection of non-sequitor bullet points that have been sitting here waiting for me to post them.
Does anyone other than aestivalis remember when I used to do music meta/oc posts? Apparently the last time I wrote one was in 2015, which is so not an actual decade ago, what are you even saying.
Anyway the album I want to talk about today doesn't appear to have its lyrics posted anywhere online (except the first two songs), so I transcribed them before writing this post. Appreciate me.
I'll be posting the full transcription later, elsewhere, after I get it all cleaned up and finalised. For now, let's get into When The Devil Drives by Econoline Crush.
For anyone keeping track at home, characters and/or ships featured include:
All links open in new windows. ♥
( Read more... )If you like the lyrics, please consider buying the album When The Devil Drives or listening to their music on your streaming platform of choice.
aestivalis did a doctor follow-up this week and we have officially surpassed the last "you don't have cancer" time period (aside from birth to 25), which is exciting and great.smut4smut but not written anything yet. I think my 2025 sign-ups will round out at candyhearts, fffx (of course), jukebox_fest and yuletide. I'm also toying around with doing a new Yanase Seno for Be The First (probably Double Beastly Trouble let's be real).eggsbenedict for fffx! Here is the thread I posted about it in Bsky. I worked really hard on these fics and writing for friends can be stressful but I'm so happy with how they've turned out!fffx, but! I received TWO MORE YORUS and by that I mean the Shishi no Odoriko fandom on AO3 has five works now, and one of them is my Be The First work from last year and the other four are gifts for me. It feels a little silly to be so enthusiastic about 6 chapters of porn with the lightest of story stitching it together but whatever, I will take whatever brings me brightness.fffx treats this year.
I have written my first Metaphor: ReFantazio fanfic. It is Basilio/Junah/Fidelio and it's not the most amazing work but I love it, to be honest. It delights me.
Apparently my all wolfman, all the time lifestyle is going to keep going into 2025.
aestivalis is the real Final Fantasy fan in our house but I'm the more musical of the two of us, and we had a fantastic time. VI's symphonic poem was far and away the best part—the other two sections did less pleasant transitions and ultimately felt more like different pieces of music stuck together than a single working arrangement. Also, VI's piece demonstrated so well how MUSICAL THEMES ARE GREAT. God I miss when movies did this. (Also—War of the Rohirrim was a delight. I love it. Wulf my tragic messy son.)
