[

mood

|

cheerful

]

so my life is going good right now. i graduated last thursday, it was sad. i'm dating chris. he's such a sweetie, and everything is so differnt with him, like i never stress out at all. everything is just so mellow. i'm falling in love with this kid. mom still doesn't know that were dating. oh well, things will probably be better if they dont know. this weekend is going to be fun. friday night i'm prob going camping with chris,vinny, lauren and some others. ehehehehehe...camping with chris....alone in the tent!! then saturday we're going down to the demolition derby. never been to one of those so it should be kick ass. a bunch of rednecks down at budd's creek so i should fit in well right? haha. oh yea, i might be getting a new truck. i like 5 months. i want to get a Ranger Edge 4x4. it will be pimp. but thats just cuz i make everything pimp. well i'm going to go now.
**ash

[

mood

|

awake

]

so the bottom line is that i'm feeling emo again. i knew it was going to be again sometime. does anybody else ever feel lonely? or out of place? you know i realized something, this has been a really shitty month for me.i mean when i look at everything thats happened, february and march have been the worst months of my life. god, but then again some of those days were good. i have alot of good memories, but alot of bad ones too. anyways, i thought i would give a update on my emo life.
laters,
ash

oh and i'm on a lap top i am so getting one of these bad boys. they kick ass fo sho.haha
good bye

[

mood

|

emo

]

i'm sad, i no longer have a boyfriend...i feel emo

( stevenCollapse )

[

mood

|

sad

]

so i haven't update in a while...i've been lazy so i will update you on differnt departements in my life

Friends Department- this department is lagging. i lost a very good friend within the past two weeks, partly my fault. i dont know if it's for good or not. i hope its not for good, because i would sure like that person to be at my graduation. you never realize how much you miss someone until you start telling those dumb stories of how dumb you were when you were kids. with other friends, everything else is going well. i made a new guy friend, his name being kyle, he's fun to talk to, he's funny.

boyfriend department- i guess things are okay in this department, but they could be better. its gotten to where i see steven about once a month or twice if i'm lucky. i went out there this past monday that we had off for presidents day. i got all emo, like usual, but i did get my feelings hurt when he rejected me, i'm still trying to figure that one out. oh yea, he could possibly move closer in the future, that would be nice, but i'm not going to get my hopes up for that one. he died his hair black, it looks really good. i will post a picture of him in this entry. but i dont know, i think i have a bad sense of humor or something, he jokes around alot, sometimes i cant even tell whats a joke and whats not. and steven, if your reading this, which i know you probably will, i miss those cute things you always did when we first started going out. i dont know what changed things, was it something i did?

music department- i've gotten more into some heavier bands i guess you could say, such as it dies today,atreyu, caliban, but i've also gotten more into newer contemporary stuff, like john mayer and howie day. i think i've gotten back into guitar, i'm gonna try to practice everyday for at least a half hour.

well thats about it, thats all the big things that happend..not much, but then again , i do live in St. Mary's County.

oh and i finally figured out how to mess around with myspace and make cool layouts. its actually pretty easy.

laters,

ash

[

mood

|

lonely

]

The dawn is breaking
A light shining through
You're barely waking
And I'm tangled up in you
Yeah

But I'm open, you're closed
Where I follow, you'll go
I worry I won't see your face
Light up again

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills my mind
I somehow find, you and I collide

I'm quiet, you know
You make a first impression
I've found I'm scared to know
I'm always on your mind

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the stars refuse to shine
Out of the back you fall in time
I somehow find, you and I collide

Don't stop here
I've lost my place
I'm close behind

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills your mind
You finally find, you and I collide

You finally find
You and I collide
You finally find
You and I collide

( Looky HereCollapse )

[

mood

|

loved

]

( To the one I love on Valentines DayCollapse )

[

mood

|

horny

]

( a bad feeling is being alone on valentines day, but you have someone,but they're not with you, so you celebrate it on the phoneCollapse )

[

mood

|

gloomy

]

( if you found someone else, you would tell me right?Collapse )

( Sexy Tom QuotesCollapse )

[

mood

|

creative

]

( Whisker's on kittens..la la la la...these are a few of my favorite things'Collapse )

( Read ME?Collapse )

[

mood

|

depressed

]

1. Copy this whole list into your journal.
2. Make the things that are true about you in BOLD.
3. Whatever you don’t BOLD is false.

01. I miss somebody right now
02. I watch alot of TV these days
03. I masturbate on a daily basis.                                                           

04. I love sleeping
05. I own lots of books
06. I wear glasses or contact lenses for reading or staring
07. I love to play video games
08. I've tried marijuana
09. I've watched a porn movie.
10. I have been in a threesome
11. I have had the psycho-ex in a past relationship
12. I believe honesty is usually the best policy
13. I have acne free skin sometimes
14. I like and respect Al Sharpton
15. I curse frequently but only when apropriate
16. I have changed a lot mentally over the last year
17. I have a hobby
18. I've been told I: (women) have a nice ass, (men) am packing.
19. I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me
20. I'm smart (i just dont do my work)
21. I've never broken someone's bones
22. I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal
23. I hate the rain
24. I'm paranoid at times
25. I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar free
26. I need money right now!
27. I love Sushi
28. I talk really really fast (when im pissed)
29. I have fresh breath in the morning
30. I have semi-long hair
31. I have lost money in Las Vegas
32. I have at least one brother and/or one sister
33. I was born in a country outside of the U.S.
34. I shave my legs (females) or face (males) on a regular basis
35. I have a twin
36. I have worn fake hair/nails/eyelashes in the past
37. I couldn't survive without Caller I.D.
38. I like the way that I look all the time!!!
39. I have lied to a good friend in the last 6 months but only to protect them
40. I know how to do cornrows
41. I am usually pessimistic
42. I have a lot of mood swings
43. I think prostitution should be legalized
44. I think Britney Spears is hot
45. I have cheated on a significant other in the past
46. I have a hidden talent
47. I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar I have
48. I think that I'm popular
49. I am currently single.
50. I have kissed someone of the same sex
51. I enjoy talking on the phone
52. I practically live in sweatpants or PJ -pants.
53. I love to shop.
54. I like grocery shopping better than clothes shopping
55. I would classify myself as ghetto.
56. I'm bourgie and have worn a sweater tied around my shoulders
57. I'm obsessed with my Livejournal.
58. I don't hate anyone. (strongly dislike is a better choice of words.)
59. I'm a pretty good dancer.
60. I don't think Mike Tyson raped Desiree Washington.
61. My mom has aids
62. I have a cell phone
63. I believe in God.
64. I watch MTV on a daily basis
65. I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months.
66. I love drama class                                                                                

67. I have never been in a real relationship before
68. I've rejected someone before
69. I currently have a crush on someone
70. I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life
71. I dont know if i want to have children in the future
72. I have changed a diaper before
73. I've called the cops on a friend before
74. I bite my nails when I'm nervous
75. I am a member of the Tom Green fan club
76. I'm not allergic to anything
77. I have a lot to learn
78. I have dated someone at least 10 years older or younger
79. I plan on seeing Ice Cube's newest "Friday" movie
80. I am very shy around the opposite sex sometimes
81. I'm online 24/7, even as an away message
82. I have at least 5 away messages saved
83. I have tried alcohol or drugs before.
84. I have made a move on a friend's significant other in the past(john shirley! lol)
85. I own the "South Park" movie.
86. I have gotten on livejournal at school or work                                  

87. When I was a kid I played "the birds and the bees" with a neighbor or chum
88. I enjoy  country music.
89. I would die for my best friend
90. I think that Papa Johns has the best pizza
91. I watch soap operas whenever I can
92. I'm obsessive, anal retentive, and often a perfectionist
93. I have used my sexuality to advance my career
94. I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all
95. I know all the words to Slick Rick's "Children's Story"
96. Halloween is awesome because you get free candy
97. I watch Spongebob Squarepants and I like it
98. I have dated a  friend's ex.
99.I smell and i like it
100. I am such a fool when in love/lust
101. I enjoy spanking from hot guys/girls.

[

mood

|

crazy

]

1. Where did we meet?:
2. Take a stab at my middle name:
3. Whens my birthday?:
4. How long have you known me?:
5. How well do you know me?:
6. Do I smoke?:
7. Do I believe in God?:
8. When you first saw me what was your impression and has it changed?:
9. Color eyes:
10. Have you ever seen me cry?:
11. Do I drink?:
12. Have u ever had a crush on me?
13. What are my best qualities?
14. Am I attractive?
15. Would you ever date me?
16. Whats one of my downfalls

[

mood

|

emo

]

Okay so I got really bored today, so I was looking up lyrics to Atreyu and It Dies Today, which I must say ,are both now one of my top ten fav. bands. Both band's lyrics are phenominal and have direct points to them. The following is the lyrics for a Atreyu song...

( Demonology and HeartacheCollapse )

[

mood

|

sick

]

so I'm sick as a dog. I should actually be in school right now, but I'm not, I decided to take the day off. My head is killing me, I've got a fever, my throat hurts and its just blah...my neck also hurts so maybe I have the flu?..but I'm home alone right now, mom went up to suitland to take my grandma to the doctors. but when she gets home I think we might drive out in my truck to the car wash and wash my truck. ughh..my big fat white cat is on my lap right now, so its making it really hard for me to type. he wont leave me alone. but um..valentines day is in 11 days. I already know what I'm doing for Steven, I wont get to see him on Valentines day because its on a monday, I really wish his damn work would give him saturday's or sundays off. it would be so much better. but no, he works both saturday's and sundays. so I dont know when I'm gonna see him, hopefully I'll see him the friday after valentines day. but who knows, nothing ever works out the way things are planned. and my friend Brian's band is playing the 11th at mpb, so I said to Steven he should try to go and he flat out said no right off the bat. so i pestered him about it,and he finnally said because no one would bring him there. he didnt even bother to ask or anything, I mean, you can at least try right?...sometimes I feel as if I'm the one who's always taking the iniative to set things up, but I dont know, maybe it's all in my head.

I came up with this great idea to do for Steven for Valentines Day..haha..but he prob wont think of it in the same way I was thinking when I came up with it. Chels knows about it, and she says thats its a good idea...its definately not hardcore. if someone did it for me, I would cry..haha...but thats just how I am.

I've always wanted to get flowers in school, but I never have. so um....haha...steven, i know your prob reading this...

Chopticon High School

25390 Colton Point Road

Morganza, Maryland 20660

haha...you said you didnt have the address, well there it is. it isn't that hard to do. you said you didn't know how, get your mom to help you biotch..haha...thats great. make my wish of getting flowers come true...and ya know..you can get a number of a local place around here, and do it that way...haha..i'm such a loser

communites can be mean, i applied for one the other day, and one of the people told me that i sucked at life but my boyfriend was hot though. and another person said eww no, you listen to all the bands that should die, plus your ugly. lol that one really hurt. am I really that ugly?

( so we bottled and shelved, all our regrets, let them ferment, and came back to our sensesCollapse )

[

mood

|

curious

]

Bitches fill this out..haha...and yes, STEVEN FILL ONE OUT TO, I WANT YOUR INPUT!!

01. NAME;
02. AGE;
03. WHERE DO YOU LIVE;
04. WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY;
05. WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN LISTENING TO LATELY;
06. DO YOU ENJOY READING MY JOURNALLL;
07. YEAH I KNOW YOU DO, BUT WHY;
08. INTERESTING FACT ABOUT YOU;
09. ARE YOU IN LOVE AT THE MOMENT;
10. FAVORITE PLACE TO BE;
11. FAVORITE QUOTE;
12. ARE YOU GONNA COPY ME & PUT THIS IN YO JOURNAL;
13. POST A PICTURE OF YOUR BEAUTIFUL SELF; if you want.

RECOMMEND
01. A MOVIE;
02. A BOOK;
03. A BAND, SONG, OR ALBUM;