The Boring Club - For True Bores Only

We have come together in this place to bore each other stiff. But how boring can it get? If you have been looking for the place to live out your true self without restraint and feel that this is exactly the community you have been waiting forever for, please apply with proof of exactly how boring you already are or possibly can get to be. No amateurs or bloody beginners, please. We have no time for you. But you have time for us. In case you do not fit in at once, like the guy with too little hair for a leningrad cowboy hair-do not despair. Everyone gets a second chance forever for boredom never stops. Therefore earlier applications can or will not be held against you. This club is ruled by shared stern dictatorship of the two oberbores: Her Supreme Boringness Ya and Ms Boreberg only. We will bore you. We will bore you more than you had ever known you could be before you were born bored. let´s go boring. In case you cannot follow our rules and start getting funny on us or secretely enjoying things in dark closets when you thought nobody was watching, you will be thrown out by the boring backdoor at once. Don´t think that you will get away with that kind of funny behaviour. Don´t think. No lightheartedness and no sex unless boring. No exclamation marks or smile signs. No laughter and no mimicry. No pity. Stay calm, we will remove that pun for you. It won´t hurt a bit, until later. Just stay bored cold with us. Tune in all you bores for we have what you need. Wonderful is short. Boring goes on forever. Our rules are our rules, that is our only rule: we rule because boredom rules. We recommend to re-enter through the front door after having been punched out at the back for an incidental pun. But better be boring, please. There will be a constant coming and going for we bores wish to see you reapply with further proof of your innate, true and uniqueleleless boring boredom. You are not alone. We furthermore additionally love some more of that repetitiveness of yours if you don´t mind. Bored with the wind. We need oxymorons. We need nerdy bores. Bores the bones off us and you too can do it, we know it. We ate anything that had anything to do with innovative originality. Even remotely singular. In one big gulp. Take in at this boring remotel dump. However, we are prepared to create highly uninteresting sub-jails for those who insist on trying typical half-bore behaviourist things out on themselves or others. It is against the rules. We are the bores. We shall bore you. Yes we can. In case you want to get into the boring club house you must arrive in appropriate attire both bored and in hose. No colours but grey. With a touch of shite brown. We serve herbal tea. Wash your hands off that fun and endearing enjoyment forever more. Join now. Or later. Free yourself from fun forever. But don´t you try to get funny or you are deadpan. Death is in the pun itself. Ban the puns. We are always on a diet. And so are you. Apply now or wait a bit. While you do, busily trying to decide, whether to get up and out of bed or sofa taking off your night cap or not, you might think this theory over til it´s over. Jean du Chas, founder of the Concentrism Movement, as seen waiting for Bardot in the audience hall: