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depression in entries

Jobless again

I lost my job on New Year's Eve. I've only applied to a handful of places over the last three weeks. I've just been extremely depressed and mostly been bed-rotting. I think Jared is learning really quick how much of a loser he's gotten stuck with.

Recalcitrant

I don’t feel good about myself. I feel mercenary. I’m just in it for what I can get out of it. Time is running out. I don’t make things happen very often. Most of the time I just passively wait for whatever happens to happen. I want to move to Cape Cod but I not willing to work hard to make it…

Trans person suicide museum

I read a great book called Trans Girl Suicide Musuem by Hannah Baer. It suggests putting all the suicidal ideation at one mental remove by imagining it’s in a museum. That felt like a helpful way to step back and observe my thoughts being there, like oh look there are those thoughts again, I could…

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