.......YELLOWDOG GRANNY NEWS.......

This is a case of the dumb leading the dumber

if that's possible..

BUSH, BLAIR STAND BY DECISION TO GO TO WAR.

Washington...Steadfast allies President Bush and outgoing British Prime Minister Tony Blair on Thursday strongly defended their decision to go to war in Iraq and to remain there, despite rising opposition in both the U.S. and Britain and their own plunging approval ratings.Standing side by side in the Rose Garden, the two leaders said they had no regrets about the decision, saying Iraq has become the main battleground in the war against global terrorism....

What a pair of stupid, uncaring, blinded by greed and ego sonsabitches..fuck them..fuck them both..If there really was a God he would have taken this golden oppurtunity to smite them both and send their asses into the the burning bowels of hell while making them an example to the rest of the diehards that think being in going to war in Iraq and staying there a good idea..Here's a few that might disagree with them..

There is a little justice in the world...

MUSHER SUSPENDED FOR THREE YEARS..

Anchorage, Alaska..Iditarod musher Ramy Brooks was suspended for two years and placed on three years of probation for abusing his dogs. The eight-member Iditarod TRail committee board of directors voted unanimously on the sanctions.

The 38-year old Brooks was disqualified in March from the 1,100-mile race after witnesses said they saw him punch and kick some of his dogs and hit them with a ski pole when they refused to leave a checkpoint during a March 13 stage..

Bullshit..they should have banned him for life.

Never let him own a pet again, not even as much as an iquana.I sent emails to Peta and then to the people that run the race...joining I know a bunch of other people..But I still think they were too easy on him...I hope his dogs break into his house, drag him off into the Alaskan forests and leave him for the wolves..bastid..

NOT MOTHER OF THE YEAR MATERIAL

MOTHER GETS 3 YEARS FOR FAKING KIDS' DISABILITES

Tacoma, WAsh...A woman who coached her children to fake mental retardation to collect disability benefits was sentenced to three years in prison Thursday. Rosie Costello, 46, must also pay nearly $288,000 in restitution after pleading guilty in U.S. District Court to conspiracy to defraud the state.

I think they should NOT put her in jail..I think they should force her to work with the most severly disabled people there are..6 days/days a week, with one day off and that must be spent in house arrest.I also hope they took her kids away from her..Plus I should be allowed to bip her awake every morning..

This may be the funniest thing I read in the paper all week long...maybe 2 weeks..

WOLFOWITZ'S SWAN SONG

World Bank employees reportedly drank champagne and sang Steam's 1969 hit "Na Na, Hey Hey (Kiss Him Goodbye)" upon learning that their boss Paul Wolfowitz, was resigning...

First it was the pet food..now it's toothpaste.

POISONOUS SUBSTANCE IS FOUND IN TOOTHPASTE.

Diethylene glycol, a poisonous ingredient in antifreeze, has been found in 6,000 tubes of toothpaste in Panama,and customs director Degado Diamante said Friday the product appeared to have orginated in China.the same poison was inadvertently mixed into cold medicine by Panama's government last year,killing at least 100 people. Records from that incident showed the poison came from China..

Hey, Wal-Mart? How's that deal with China working out for you?....I think we are now starting to reap the benefits from our trade deals with China...Wonder how many dogs, cats, people will have to die from the shoddy, unsafe work practices before some safe guards are put up...For instance...lets make our dog food, cat food, tooth paste, cold medicine's etc...right here in our own country..Hell, if this Amnesty deal goes through in Washington, we'll have plenty of workers...and it's not like we don't have enough people to do the job without going half way across the world to have a bunch of uneducated Chinese do our jobs for us..I think people should start reading the small print on the products you use..see where it's made..I know you're used to seeing made in China, etc. on the bottoms of your knick nacks, tennis shoes, and clothes..but how about your sundries..Check em out..see where they are made..especially those things you buy from Wal-Mart and the $1 stores..

I have another rant coming in the next day or two about the things we get from China and what's in them...think I will do it Monday...

So many things to bitch about..so little time..

YELLOWDOG'S VERSION OF THE NEWS...

DEPARTING BLAIR PAYS VISIT TO CLOSE ALLY BUSH
British Prime Minister Tony Blair paid a farewell visit Wednesday to President Bush, an opportunity for close allies to showcase their unity on the war in Iraq and hammer out differences on climate change and trade..It also gave the Prime Minister a chance to show President Bush the new tricks he has learned.. 'Sit, stay and fetch'..President Bush was especially proud of the way he had perfected 'roll over and play dead.'

WOLFOWITZ WANTS TERMS TO INCLUDE EXONERATION AS NEGOTIATIONS BEGIN..
After 6 weeks of combating efforts to oust him as president of the World Bank, Paul Wolfowitz began Wednesday to negotiate the terms under which he would resign, in return for the bank dropping or softening the charge that he had engaged in misconduct, bank officials said.
Mr. Wolfowitz was said to be adamant that he be cleared of wrongdoing before he resigns.He also wants a garantee that his girlfriend gets a new job of out the deal.He requests that she be given the job of President of American Airlines, saying she has plenty of experience as she has flown on a plane many times..

FEDS:POT GETTING STRONGER
Levels of active ingredient climbing almost yearly..
marijuana is getting a little more potent each year.
A project at the University of Mississippi has tested samples of marijuana seized by law enforcement agents annually since the late 1970's to check levels of THC, the active ingredient.
The average amount of THC in marijuana seized last year reached 8.5 percent, continuing an almost yearly uptick the White House drug-control policy office said Wednesday. The THC level has doubled since the 1980's.Jeremy Conley the drug-control policy officer said:"Man, this shit is faaaaaaarout." The interview had to be canceled as Mr. Conley had to go order a pizza, a bag of Doritos, a large Coke and a piece of Chocolate cake...siting a case of severe munchies.

NEIMAN MARCUS OFFERS A ROYAL REST.
Neiman Marcus began selling Vera Wang's Princess Eau de Parfum,the designer's bridal gowns, her Love Knots Toasting champagne flutes and silk pajamas.
But the Dallas-based luxury depratment store chain sold no mattress on which a princess could sleep.
Vera Wang has teamed up with Serta, the major maker of mattresses, to sell Vera WAng luxury mattresses in stores for common folk, such as 1-800-Mattress.But still no mattress for a princess.
But on Tuesday,Neiman Marcus announced it will begin selling a super-luxury line of mattresses designed by Ms.Wang and made especially for Neiman Marcus by Serta.
Each bed features Vera Wang's signatrue floral vine design, the latest in mattress technology and a buxurious down-like blanket top.the collection's five models will range from $1,999 to $2,999.Although the Princess and the pea are not included..you can ask for a special clerk to come by each night and tuck you in for an extra $3,000.

On a sadder note..Bo Diddley is hospitalized following stroke.
Rock pioneer Bo Diddley suffered a stroke Sunday and remains in the intenseive care unit at Creighton University Medical Center in Omaha, Neb. The 78-year old singer-guitarist, who had been slated to perform Saturday at Richardson's Wildflower festival, fell ill following a show at Harah's Casino in Council Bluffs, Neb., according to his publicist.His condition is listed as "guarded" and Saturday's show is canceled...
I can't tell you how much I love Bo Diddley..He was one of my if not my favorite music when I was a kid and growing up...I actually got to see him in concert in San Antonio, Texas when I was about 15.I went with my girlfriend who was a negro(she wasn't black then...she was a negro)...She knew someone in the band, a relative I think..and we got to go back stage and meet him...I was so thrilled...he was bemused to see this skinny white kid hanging with his friends skinny negro kid..Asked us all kinds of questions how did we meet, were we best friends, did our parents know and care?...We were Air Force kids, we didn't know that our being best friends was a big deal, and why would our parents care..care about what?...We wanted to know about the music, see his guitar,get his autograph...and he was quizing us on our relationship..I don't think we ever did understand what the big deal was..He did freak out when I refered to her as 'black widow'...He wanted to know why I called her that..said her boyfriend left her so she was black widow..made sense to us..but think that was the first time he had heard the term black in term of negros..hey, maybe I started it all..
Get well Bo ....

..............THE BEAR..............

"He's an old blind bear....alone in the winter woods...with only the smell of his breath for comfort.To mean to die, to lost to care.But show some caution....he's still the bear."

I If you read the Goddess's post you have found out my secret..I have high cholesterol and high triwhateverthefuck the other thing is...244 and 203..Cholestrerol is supposed to be lower than 200 and the other one is suposed to be 150...I am truly fucked...I am so pissed..plus my diabetes dosage is going to be upped from 2mg/500 to 4mg/500...I'm as onery as a alligator with a jalopena stuck up his ass..
but the good news is I have lost a total of 34 lbs...but still fat.. I am going to start walking after dinner...twice afuckingday....kiss my rosy red neck ass..I don't know whether to sing "God Bless America" or go take a shit.

I need some good news.....I have decided to only post good things from my DAMN news today...Good news in the DAM News? yabetchaass, and here it is:

House reverses Bush's sealed recordsorder... haahamotherfuckinghaha..They also voted to make Presidents donors to the library..yehaw.that cracks me up.....lets see who else wants to donate to the Dumb Ass's Library fund.....remember I said along time ago that he would get his and the Goddess would be responsible? what goes around comes around and bites you in the ass..it's starting...the shit is starting to slide down hill...as any good plumber knows..you get paid on Friday and shit runs down hill...I see a lot of shit not only running down hill...but hitting the fan....the Goddess rules..and speaking of rules..these are the
Sunshine Laws:
Require disclosure of donations to presidential libraries of $200 or more..
Make it harder for former presidents to withold presidential records.
Strengthen federal open-records law, reversing an administration directive by restoring the presumption that agencies should release records when allowed by law and when an agency cannot reasonbly foresee that disclosure would cause harm.
Strengthen whistle-blower protection for government workers, private contractors adn scientists...
Ahh, more good news... The Kinster is in Dallas to raise money for his first love, abandoned aminals.
"I always loved stray dogs better than fat cats," says Kinky, co founder of the Utopia Animal Rescue Ranch at his home in Medina, Texas, the foremost animal rescue center in the Texas Hill Country.
On March 24, Kinky and some of his musician pals will perform a Utopia "bonefit" at Poor David's Pub. The show will feature Kinky's ubiquitous Sancho Panza, Jeff "Little Jewford"Shelby, as well as Washington Ratso and Austin fiddler "Sweet" Mary Hattersley..
Similar to a plot hatched by Krammer on Seeinfeld, Kinky is selling Kinky Cigars, "handmade by Cubans in Honduras."..The smokes will be sold at the benefit for $100 per box of 25, with all proceeds going to Utopia...Written by Alan Peppard of the DAM News staff...The Goddess would be most pleased if you donated money to the Utopia Ranch..you can go to KinkyFriedman.com and get the information on his website..I think the Utopia Ranch has it's own website..I have send $5 here $10 there over the years..what I could afford...those animals live good, but they need all the help they can get..

This is one of those bad news good news ...news..
Chris Gavora, a Grapevine High School baseball player was hit in the head by a line drive and it killed him...he was 15 I think... His parents donated his kindneys, pancreas, his liver, lungs and his heart..Three weeks before his death, Chris had told him parents he wanted to be an organ donor..Be a donor...

Valerie Plame will testify before Congress...kick some ass Val...kick some ass...

This is unfucking believeable...
CIVIL UNION LAW CELEBRATED IN MEXICO CITY..
The Mexico City law, the first of its kind to be passed in Mexico, has already inspired a similar one in Coahula.The northern border state's law took effect first, in January...Both laws allow the couples some of the rights of marriage, such as inheritance and hospital visits, but not adoption or joint custody of children. They also allow couples to take advantage of anti-discrimination laws that protect them in the workplace and when seeking housing..
VIVA MEXICO....
The next two bits of good news are from the comic's section in my DAM News...I don't know if you get or read :FOR BETTER OR FOR WORSE..
It is one of my favorites...it covers soo many great subjects..and people die in this cartoon...they grow up, age and die...like life..ok..here goes some explaining so you will get it...the young daughter of the core family is friends with a girl who is as she says'retarded'....so she says to her:"April, when ..people call me 're-tarded,' does that mean..that...I'm stupid?...April: 'No!Not at all.'...Have you ever checked teh signs at the airport?(this is a Canadian strip)When an airplane is gonna be late arriving the signs in French all say 'en retard.'.....
en retard means it's on its way, but it's not there yet...The little girl:So..what..they're saying ..is...I'm .on my way, but I'm not there yet? April: exactly..
April: know what's funny? Little girl: what?...April: the people who call you retarded will probably never get there at all.

and my last cartoon but best....HEART OF THE CITY about a little girl who lives with her divorced mother...the first cartoon is of Heart and her mother taking a walk in the city...then in a movie theater , then at a book store checking out books...then last square is of Heart and her mother eating icecream ...heart says:
think we'll get in trouble for skipping school and work, mom?......Mom: what's the point of life if your afraid of getting caught living it..?
so that's my advice for the day....don't be afraid to get caught living your life...at at it's fullest....
244/203.............FUCK!...evidence of my living my life and getting caught...

ANYONE WANT TO DONTATE MONEY TO THE BUSH LIBRARY?

Looks like the only one that is donating money to the George W. Bush Library is.................George W. Bush..
In an article found in my DAM News...it says:
BUSH DONATES $107,440 MORE TO OWN LIBRARY.
'98 governor's race funds push his total above $300,000...by Todd Gillman(Washington Bureau
Washington: Donations to President Bush's planned presidential library are t...r...i...ck...ling in---(my spacing) from George W. Bush himself.
He has cleaned out his 1998 gubernatorial campaign account and sent the last of it to the George W. Bush Library Foundation, a new state campaign filling shows. The $107,440.76 donation, dated DEc. 18, pushed the library's hope chest above $3000,000, all from Mr. Bush and donors from previous campaigns..
(so let me get this straight....................he's been planning the GWB Library since he took office, as that is what all presidents do...and so far they have raised just over $300,000 and it's all his money....Oh happy day...this is hysterical...how funny is that...)
Other donations thta might have come in remain secret.(Who the fuck wants anyone to know that they gave money for a library for a President ..who can't fucking read.)..There is no law requiring presidentail libraries to disclose funding sources, though some gifts do come to light because the donors themselves, in this case, the Governor Bush Committee-are subject to state or federal disclosure laws.
In October, Mr. Bush sent $194,904 left from his 2004 re-election effort. The Bush-Cheney committee reported the donation in early January to the Federal Election Commission.
A search Tuesday of federal records and those filed with the Texas Ethics Commission(what a joke THAT is) showed no other donations to the library...(no doh!)
The site selection committee led by longtime Bush friend Don Evans, has yet to start working to raise money, said spokesman Taylor Griffin. (Yeah, let me see the list they are going to work from...fired, oops, in jail, oops, fired, good job brownie, ooops in jail...)
Southern Methodist University has been the sole finalist for the library since December.(and Baylor University is still pissed..although I am happy as a fat lady with chocolate)
Philanthropy experts and officials at other presidential libraries say donors generally seek recognition. And libraries built by former presidents have voluntarily identified most,, but not all, donors.
"We're at an early stage in a multiyear process, and those decisions will come later," Mr. Griffin said. (yeah, some times between nunyafuckingbusiness and hell freezing over.)"The committee is really focused on the site selection right now and hasn't gotten to the fund-raising part of it."(which has to do with the fact that people are protesting at the site because Bush dosen't want anyone too see his papers...yeah, great library with no presidential papers...and for that matter..no fucking books...oh shit, this is just getting better and better.)
The House of Oversight and Government Reform Committee will hold a hearing this morning(last week) on the lack of mandatory disclosure of donations to presidential libraries..(Hmm...what a great name..the House of Oversight and Government Reform Committee...............where were they when ole George was nominated for President by the Supreme Court and lied his way into the second term?
...fuckity fuck fuck fuck....

Ahh, I love bipping on ole George..he's such a easy target...mabye I'm just in a good mood, because we got rain all night long and are expecting more...I love Texas when it rains...especially in the Spring..when there is always the promise of bluebonnets right around the corner..My little front yard is full of birds feeding from my feeders, and I'm so excited..I have a pair of cardinals...it's not my old pair of cadinals..but they are fat and red and beautiful....
I am still walking with Margaret..every day but Sunday...I don't get out of my BuBu that Shady Lane sent me all day on Sunday...BuBu's are a African dress...with the most beautiful pattern and colors...it comes with a scarf to make one of those lovely turban hats..but since I don't have the puffy afro the African women have..my scarf spends a lot of time on the back of my chair after it slides off my head(this one is sort of like the one I have except mine is dark black with yellow and green and orange.)...Lane gets them at her African Drum Dance classes she takes each week...She is getting better at her solo's and I can't wait to go visit her this summer and see her in action..remember Shady is like 1 1/2 years younger than me..she takes boxing lessons, does (or did) cardio-funk and gave up booze for Lent..so I don't suggest anyone fuck with my Shady lane..she told me in one email she had a lot of pent up anger(she's from New Jersey/New York)and is just itching to kick someone's ass...I have a feeling the next rich yuppy that cuts her off in traffic is going to get a serious bipping...which is actually where I got the term bipping..She showed me the difference between bipping, smacking, slugging, punching and belting ..using my kids when they were younger to do so...I cracked up...Dave, Thom and Mojo weren't all that thrilled with the demonstration..But we have all passed down the bipping ...All I have to do with Jenny and Jamie is say:"Come here."...and they both start laughing and say.."no bipping, no bipping.".
Yup...I'm in such a good mood....fuck me till I giggle..

..............THE ANSWER IS..............

I hope that my answers please you...If they don't...well, in the early words of the Yellowdog.....get fucked....

Kath, the world is being ran by madmen, so you may have to seek sanity else where. Maybe in a cave, the bottom of the ocean, the top of a mountain, under the covers...I think by 2008 you humans will have had your fill of the insanity and will do what it takes to recover from the past eight years...You mortals are such slow learners. I thought you would have learned your lessons from past wars, but I see it will take something drastic to make you alter your path..Like the destruction of man..I would hate to think you will have to start all over again as slime clotting on the shores of a dead ocean.It won't be the first time.
Sanity.. Kath! One of my favorite subjects..Samuel Beckett said:"We are all born mad, some remain so." Nathaniel Emmons said:"Insanity destroys reason, but not wit."...but I think Waylon Jennings said it best:"I may be crazy but it keeps me from going insane."....George Bush seems to belong to the school of thought from Peggy Noonan, who said:"If you commit a big crime then you are crazy, and the more heinous the crime the crazier you are. Therefore you are not responsible and nothing is your fault." Everyone has their own brand of crazy...sanity is being of sound mind..Personally as a Goddess I find that a little wanting...I want my horses sound, not my mind...
RevJim is concerned with his writing..Jim, you have a great talent..I read your blogs..The only problem I see with your NASCAR blog is there is too long of a period between races and like the Yellowdog says:"The drivers need to be packing." Your other blog is very interesting, but I think more humor is called for..I asked Yellowdog about your political blog for advice and she said...look for the humor...if you don't find the humor in the insanity of the politics, you are lost..
Inspectorguy want's to know who I would vote for..Obama or Clinton.
Goddess's aren't allowed to vote...but if I could pull the lever I would probably wait for Obama and Clinton to cancel each other out and vote for Al Gore. Anyone that cares that much for my planet would make a great president..
Jim wants to know how old I am and how old I feel..I am old Jim...very very very old...I was old when Jesus was arguing with the Rabbi's at the Temple..I was old when there was nothing but the sound of silence...Old ...old ...old...Jim...But I am also young...in the age of the universe I am a babe in arms...
Indians...I love all humans Jim...which means I love Indians. The feathered kind and the red dot kind...Although you are starting to piss me off...and it's not nice (or healthy) to piss off the Goddess...be forewarned...
Bright yeller Gun....the sunshine boy...up to his knees in snow and children..Sunshine needs some time with his mate, away from the snow and the children..I wish I could come baby sit, but I am holding out for BlueBell Ice Cream..Think you should send the children to your mother, in Florida for the weekend..
Bob, the Yellowdog said she found the header in a email and Denise put it up for her...I don't know what any of that means.
Finally some serious questions..Josh wants to know what the most important thing for mortals to do..and what is the secret of happiness and is it even attainable. Humans should spend less time on attaining 'things'..and spend more time loving and being with their family. The Goddess knows....you can not achieve happiness by going into debt by buying a bright shiny new car, or a 27inch screen to watch your movies on..Happiness isn't something that you can find...happiness is what you can be..look inside and be happy with yourself..then true happiness will come to you..Loki is off somewhere trying to come up with another great joke on the world..Bush was his last one..
Lauren wants to know if Dubya is getting dumber...No, he's about as dumb as you can get..Also is concerned about finding the right one...if you had found the right one...you would know it..I do think that you are looking for the right one, when you and I both know ...the right one will find you..
No Tina, I think we have about 2 more weeks of not so great weather and then I think it's behind us..
Nitwit wants to know what the last thing he should do on the first day of the rest of his life..That's so easy.....smile..
Jim wants to know if it's ok to fall in love a second time. As long as you don't make it your last..
Cyberoutlaw wants to know if there is a job out there that will make him a lot of money and one that he won't have to work hard at and not know anything...."run for president"...
Sue wants to know if aliens will ever land on the White House? Sue, I am pretty sure that the aliens gave up on Earth many years ago..They left you so many clues, but you ignored them all..
Ruby Rocks wants to know if a purebred dog will ever sniff his arse.?
Ruby you have the purest dog I could make..and why would you want a dog to sniff your arse?..Is that some sort of punishment for the dog??
Dan the answer to your question is yes, and no Thom Cruise won't run for public office..Why should he? He already thinks he is a high ranking alien..
Cyberoutlaw no one could be worse than Bush...no one..
Anonymous, the answers are yes, no and I am..
Juney, Juney Juney......When you have been with the Goddess all men become great lovers...either that or suffer at the hands of the Blue Cats..The Yellowdog said'nunyafuckingbusiness'....
Jim/Anonymous...I suggest you seek professional help. It's not that the Goddess can't answer your question....she just doesn't give a fuck...Anyone that loves Dubya aka Forest Gump aka George W Bush isn't wanted at the Yellowdog's home away from home...If you think I can punish...wait till what she will bring down on your dotted head..
Kath, Dr.'s and people that work in Dr.'s office usually see themselves as above others as they are in the role of healers...Point to your ass..and tell them to 'heal this'....I can send a cosmic bip to them...
Old Broad....I have been and always will be...Yellowdog welcomes you to her little Forest Gump bashing abode..You are among friends here..except for Jim, and he's on his way out...
Sling, easy answer......humans will be humans...and to err....is human..
apos...you say you have no questions..but I have an answer for your unasked questions.....yes....no...no...yes....maybe...

THE GODDESS HAS ENTERED THE BUILDING

Blessings on you my children....I am here,along with the Yellowdog to answer some questions for you...I hope that I will be able to enlighten you with MY wisdom and her sense of humor.
So, lets get right to it...

1.Jeremy wants to know why do fools fall in love? Because they don't know any better Jeremy, but with age comes wisdom and soon they will know better...They will still fall in love but at least they will know what to expect.Back in my day when someone broke my heart, I tied him to the wheels of my chariot and my blue kittens hauled his ass to Hades..It's not nice to mess with the Goddess.


2.Sling would like to know what's really going on and that's pretty basic Sling.Live is going on.Life goes on with rhythm and a good solid beat. It's easy to dance to if you get it right.Be a dancer Sling...enjoy life..


3.Apos would like to know if she is going to pass her physical to get her green card so she can come to the United States to be with her "Little Fat Bastard." Only if you stop huffing and puffing on that strange grass you humans find so desirable...You'll be able to smoke that stuff soon enough..I know that(hey, Yellowdog...what's the word I want for her neighbor?...oh, of course.)asshole that lives by you is hard to take even in small doses..but you can smoke pounds of that stuff and he's still going to be an asshole.


4. Oh, dear!..Zero has more than a few questions and all seem to be about women..Why is it you men have so much trouble with your women? I don't think Thor or Odin would put up with what the modern man puts up with..Alright Zero,the reason why all the women you fall in love with are crazy is because you are to young to be falling in love..You're not experienced enough to pick out the good from the bad..So you go for the one that will make you miserable..Patience my dear Zero, the one for you will come when you stop seeking her.No, she doesn't love you...but when you least expect it..the right one for you will come..


5.Nitwit, my you humans have some very strange names..but this one seems to be one of the Yellowdog's special friends and is concerned about some complete moron getting elected to the Presidency..Well, this I can tell you..the current President is not a 'complete moron'...I don't think he's capable of being a complete anything..except a complete asshole..I really do like that word...I always liked bunghole but asshole seems to fit better in this case.

6.Ruby...ah yes, Ruby..the man with the lovely sweet misunderstood dog..Ruby is concerned that a man named Kinky Friedman lost an election and that all dogs in the know must have voted for him..Which is part of the problem Ruby...dog's votes don't count unless your a republican..Then they count.Like Yellowdog told him, 'It doesn't matter if you have good intentions, if your head is up your ass.'

7.Flo: This lady is concerned with something called fonts, size and color of this blog. This blog belongs to the Yellowdog and she seems to be pretty content here with things as they are...and I don't see how that should concern me..But I did go to the place where you call home...with the exception of a picture of a very pretty human baby, I think that people who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.
next.......

8.Cheesemeister just wants me to know she is happy with the Yellowdog and says she is a wise-ass..Yes, Cheesemeister most parts of her are very wise..Except for her vagina.it's made some serious mistakes over the years..

9.Cyberoutlaw: My you humans are very concerned with who's running for President and other offices...maybe if more of you had voted you wouldn't be in the mess you are in..But no, Nolan Ryan should not run for president..Yellowdog said for me to tell you that "just because he can pitch a perfect game, doesn't make him presidential material..'

10.Allan wants to know who is stalking him...Why, me of course.You are a very interesting person Allan and I like the music you play on your radio...Yellowdog says.."check him out."

11.Jan, Jan, Jan. You sure do ask some personal questions of the Goddess..I lost my virginity to my husband Od...who disappeared on our honeymoon...I was distraught and I wept and wept and wept..Finally I put on my falcon coat and flew around the world looking for him and found that one of the jealous God's had punished him by banishing him to the sea. By the time I got to him he had been turned into a horribly disfigured monster and soon after some one killed him...This was unexceptionable to me and I insisted that he be allowed to go to Valhalla even though he had not died in battle..I am allowed to make visits to him of a sexual nature, if you get my meaning, so even though he is dead, we still kept up our relationship.Of course he respected me in the morning and respects me still. I am the one that made it possible for him to enter Valhalla ...plus, as Yellowdog might say"I'm a great piece of ass."

12.Oh sweet Pixie..Why are we here?....You and the rest of the humans are here for my amusement..you do make me laugh so...like the time you learned how to ride your bike..that was great fun..

13.Buddha girl, who is named after one of my great friends...The Buddha...sends blessing to you all and to the little red headed man child named in his honor. Buddhagirl, you will most assuredly chase down that asshat and no you will never be able to put those drops in that child's eyes with out sitting on top of him...He's a strong willed man child who is not going to be easy to harness...The Yellowdog wishes that you and the redheaded boy would come down for some Czech festival that is held at Labor Day..Something about 'booging till you puke'...sounds like a pagan ritual.

14.Jblue wants to know if the aliens built the pyramids. Why is it when something wonderful and beautiful is discovered you want to find someone else to credit for it?...No, man kind build the pyramids..and all the other wonders of this world...You humans don't give yourself enough credit..
The aliens did make Bill Gates though..

15.Kath, if the weekends were any longer, you humans would never get any work done.You need to get up earlier, that might help..Why is yellow? This is a direct result from your humans...our word for yellow was 'Yegostrnofthsun'

16.Cyberoutlaw, is intersted if the state of New York can whip the ass's of the state of Texas..Yellowdog wants to answer this one....she says:"fuck no"...

17.Mimi is a very funny girl...She wants to know why you say 'take a shit and take a piss,' when you are actually leaving a shit and leaving a piss.' Hey, you humans made your language, and changed what the Goddess had written. You're the one that changed yellow from yegostrnofthsun....you made up some very strange words...I mean really ...'w-bn 'nk hmjt 'zt b-kl qsjt 'l gblm b-mqmm...that is Phoenician by the way..Who talks like that?...Mimi...it's up to you to start the change...next time ...tell people...'I'm going to go leave a shit, be right back.'...Every journey starts with one step...or a shit in this case..

18.Toodles is asking a question for her sister...another question about your President...Oh Thor!...You're president can't write a book ...in any form...it would take an entire storm of ghost riders to write his life story..Besides, who would read it?...She also wonders if he will be here till the end of his term..Unless your party of democrats grow balls, he will be here till the end..
Happiness....happiness is not hard to find...but you humans have become spoilt, you think owning things is the key to happiness. It's not..You spend so much time working to make money to buy things to make you happy that you have forgotten why you are here in the first place..To make this planet of your's a better place for the ones that come after you..Take pleasure in the world around you ...if it's not to your liking then you must work to change it...I made you so you would bring me joy..and being joyful does that..Owning lots of shinny toys shouldn't make you happy, making this planet a safe and clean environment for your children and your grandchildren will make you happy...and then..I will be happy.


19.Tina tossed in a question at the end of the night. Bush will get impeached in your democratic party decides to do their job...but I don't think they can agree on anything so things will probably go on as usual.
When you die....if you are good you come to my house...if you die in battle you go to Valhalla, if your bad...you go to Hades..easy peasy...
I must go now...one of the duties of being the Goddess is escorting soldiers who have died on the battle field into Valhalla, and thanks to your President I have many brave soldiers to tend to...

My blessings on you my children...make me happy...be joyful..

and don't forget to vote...


the Goddess has left the building..