Hello Family and Friends,
We are so excited for the end of this year and to share with you some highlights of our year and what each of us is doing.
As a family, we were trying to sell our condo but after 18 months on the market with no buyers, we decided to stop selling it and stay where we are for a few more years. We are grateful that we have a place of our own that we can call home, and even though it is small, it keeps us together.
Chris:
Chris is still working for Wendy’s. He is in high 8th year. He currently is the Co-General Manager which is the 2nd manager in charge, and is still working toward getting a promotion to run his own store as a General Manager. He has moved to 3 different stores this year and will move to a brand new store in the Salt Lake area. It is scheduled to open right before Christmas.
He was called to be a primary teacher and teaches the CTR 5/6 class. Matthew and Ashleigh are in that class and loves him as a teacher. He team teaches so that means he teaches every other week.
Cathy:
Cathy is still currently employed with the Kroger Company in the division of Smith’s. She is in her 18th year there and still works in the scanning/pricing dept in her store. She still only works 25 hrs week which allows her to be home more to help raise our children.
She is still playing the piano in the primary and the weeks that Chris teaches, she sits in and helps.
She was voted in (not by choice of hers but the homeowners), to be the President of our HOA in the condo complex that we live in.
She was expecting a baby at the beginning of the year and suffered a devastating miscarriage, but thankfully she is expecting baby #4 which is due the end of April.
Matthew:
Matthew started Kindergarten this year and loves it. He is in Mrs. Schofields class and is doing well in school and has lots of friends. He loves to do his homework and read. Matthew is in the CTR 5/6 class and loves to sing in primary. His favorite songs are “I Am a Child of God”, and “I Love to See the Temple.” He loves to be with his twin sister Ashleigh and his younger brother Joshua. He is a good big brother. He loves to be a helper, loves to play with toys, and has a big imagination. He loves transformers, Super Mario, and building with Legos. He also loves to play on the computer or the WII when he is allowed. He is 6 years old.
Ashleigh:
Ashleigh also started Kindergarten this year and also loves it. She is in Mr. Shawcrofts class and loves it when she gets picked to be a helper at class. She has several friends in class and is very social. She was diagnosed with ADHD and was put on medication. Even though we were unsure about putting her on medication, it has done wonders for her and she has interest in things again.. She had surgery in August to remove the Hemangioma that was on her nose. Her nose is still healing but looks really good and we are all happy with the result. She is also in CTR 5/6 class and her favorite song is “Follow the Prophet.” She is a wonderful helper at home, she is a great sister and loves her brothers . She loves to color. She is 6 years old.
Joshua:
Joshua is a busy 3 1/2 year old. He is in nursery and loves it. He loves spending time with his brother and sister. He likes having the house with the toys , t.v., and computer to himself while the twins are in school. He likes taking them to school and picking them up. He is happy most of the time and has a very entertaining personality. He loves to play with any toy that is in the house but his favorites are trucks, trains and balls.
Ethan:
Ethan Alexander will be joining our family in April. He is growing how he should and is starting to make his presence know. We are all excited for his arrival and can’t wait til he joins our family,
We hope that you all are enjoying the Holiday season and know that you are in our thoughts and prayers.
With much love,
The Camacho Family
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
My Thankful thoughts this year 2011
Happy Thanksgiving to all our family and friends. So what are you all thankful for? I know that some of you have listed on your blog or facebook everyday, one thing you are grateful for. I have thought about it but until know, I have not posted publicly what I am thankful for.
Here is my list for this year.
1). My Husband:
Chris is my best fiend. I love spending time with him and it really does not matter what we are doing. It could be watching t.v., getting the kids ready for the day, but I love talking with him. He has so many good insights on things, he is a good listener and he never judges. He is a great a father. He loves his kids so much. I enjoy watching him play with them and cuddle with them. He works hard outside the home for our family. He even helps around the house even on days that I have to nag or remind him the things that needs to be done.
2). Eternal Marriage:
I love my husband so much. We may not have a "perfect" marriage, but we work hard everyday to make it "perfect" for us. We have days with work schedules that we do not see each other and that makes it hard. I could not imagine not spending forever with him and I am glad that I do not have to live without him. Our marriage has also made it that we can be with our wonderful children forever. How amazing is that?
3). My children:
It is such a honor to be a mother to these beautiful children. They have filled our home with chaos, but also with love. Over the last 4 years, I have learned that I should have not been possible to give birth to children at all and yet even though my body has given many challenges to get pregnant, I have been able to have these children. We were sadden, when we lost a baby at the beginning of this year and we cannot wait for that day when we get to meet her, but we are thrilled to have a new baby that is due in April. One of the things that I love is when I am having a hard day at work, they run out to the car with smile and excitement to see me, wanting to give me hugs and kisses plus tell me the things they have been doing for their day,
4. My home:
It may be a condo with no yard and is not very big, but it still is a place to live. It shelters us from the elements of the weather, but most important thing is that we are together as family in our home and that is all that matters.
5). Our families:
We both come from great families. And it is nice to have that to count on.
6). My health:
I recently had a bad cold. Being pregnant and sick is really not any fun. I have also had to deal with PCOS and lots of cycts over the years. So I am grateful for good health when I have it.
7). Washer & Dryer:
The week that I was sick, I was washing pillows and blankets to get rid of the germs. I am glad that I am able to wash at home and not have to go anywhere to do it. A few years ago when we first were married and also when I was in college, I would have to take the laundry somewhere to get it done, here I don't have to. Especially since I hate doing laundry.
8). Modern Medicine:
I am glad that we have the doctors and medicine available to us. With my PCOS and also difficult pregnancies, I am glad that I do not have to deal with it all by myself and that I have great doctors to take care of me.
9). Gospel:
Having the Gospel of Christ and my membership in the LDS church, I am so grateful to that. I has helped me throughout my life more than I can say. I is my constant sure thing that I have in my life. I am grateful for the peace and the direction that I receive daily with it in my life.
10). Atonement:
The sacrifice that my Savior did my me and for all of us by atoning for our sins and giving us a chance to forgive and to be forgiven. Most people in this life do not give you that opportunity, but with the Savior, he gives that to us, and all we have to do is pray, ask and change what we are doing. I have seen the atonement not only work for me but others like my family and friends.
11). Music:
I love music. It can definitely set the mood. It can cheer me up when I am sad, relax me when I am stress, and pump me up when I need a pick me up.
12). A new baby:
I cannot say more then that. I cannot wait til April when a new sweet spirit joins our home.
13). Priesthood Power:
When I was sick, I was able to receive a Priesthood Blessing and I know that I started to feel better fast because of it. I believe in the healing power and the comfort that it can give. It sure has made a difference in my life when I have been blessed by it.
14). School:
Right now, it is because the twins get to go to school. I love seeing and hearing all the new things they are learning, the sparkle in their eyes and the excitement they have about learning. A selfish reason, is that I get a couple of hours during the week without them while they are gone. I still have Joshua and we get some one on one time with him.
15). Diversity:
Growing up, I really never had the chance experience people with who are different then me. I am now and in no way judging people. My children however, I around kids and people that are handicapped, coming from different cultures, and different religions. They are learning earlier then I did to accept people and to be friends with everyone.
16). My pregnancy pillow:
I have had a hard time sleeping being pregnant and it is because my body gets sore pretty bad throughout the night and I also have problems with my sciatic nerve. Last month, I broke down and bought a pregnancy pillow. Even though it is hugh, I have had more nights that I am sleeping then I did without. With my other 2 pregnancies; I used a body pillow and now I wonder how I even got along with this new pillow.
17). My sister got another week in:
My sister has difficult pregnancies. Her first one she delivered Willow at 24 weeks. She is expecting baby #2 and is 30 weeks. Last week, she was put on bed rest because her body is ready to have the baby. But the word today is she got another week in and we pray she gets another week down.
I know that there will be more that I will think of but here is a few. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving and don;t forget to think of what you are thankful for.
Here is my list for this year.
1). My Husband:
Chris is my best fiend. I love spending time with him and it really does not matter what we are doing. It could be watching t.v., getting the kids ready for the day, but I love talking with him. He has so many good insights on things, he is a good listener and he never judges. He is a great a father. He loves his kids so much. I enjoy watching him play with them and cuddle with them. He works hard outside the home for our family. He even helps around the house even on days that I have to nag or remind him the things that needs to be done.
2). Eternal Marriage:
I love my husband so much. We may not have a "perfect" marriage, but we work hard everyday to make it "perfect" for us. We have days with work schedules that we do not see each other and that makes it hard. I could not imagine not spending forever with him and I am glad that I do not have to live without him. Our marriage has also made it that we can be with our wonderful children forever. How amazing is that?
3). My children:
It is such a honor to be a mother to these beautiful children. They have filled our home with chaos, but also with love. Over the last 4 years, I have learned that I should have not been possible to give birth to children at all and yet even though my body has given many challenges to get pregnant, I have been able to have these children. We were sadden, when we lost a baby at the beginning of this year and we cannot wait for that day when we get to meet her, but we are thrilled to have a new baby that is due in April. One of the things that I love is when I am having a hard day at work, they run out to the car with smile and excitement to see me, wanting to give me hugs and kisses plus tell me the things they have been doing for their day,
4. My home:
It may be a condo with no yard and is not very big, but it still is a place to live. It shelters us from the elements of the weather, but most important thing is that we are together as family in our home and that is all that matters.
5). Our families:
We both come from great families. And it is nice to have that to count on.
6). My health:
I recently had a bad cold. Being pregnant and sick is really not any fun. I have also had to deal with PCOS and lots of cycts over the years. So I am grateful for good health when I have it.
7). Washer & Dryer:
The week that I was sick, I was washing pillows and blankets to get rid of the germs. I am glad that I am able to wash at home and not have to go anywhere to do it. A few years ago when we first were married and also when I was in college, I would have to take the laundry somewhere to get it done, here I don't have to. Especially since I hate doing laundry.
8). Modern Medicine:
I am glad that we have the doctors and medicine available to us. With my PCOS and also difficult pregnancies, I am glad that I do not have to deal with it all by myself and that I have great doctors to take care of me.
9). Gospel:
Having the Gospel of Christ and my membership in the LDS church, I am so grateful to that. I has helped me throughout my life more than I can say. I is my constant sure thing that I have in my life. I am grateful for the peace and the direction that I receive daily with it in my life.
10). Atonement:
The sacrifice that my Savior did my me and for all of us by atoning for our sins and giving us a chance to forgive and to be forgiven. Most people in this life do not give you that opportunity, but with the Savior, he gives that to us, and all we have to do is pray, ask and change what we are doing. I have seen the atonement not only work for me but others like my family and friends.
11). Music:
I love music. It can definitely set the mood. It can cheer me up when I am sad, relax me when I am stress, and pump me up when I need a pick me up.
12). A new baby:
I cannot say more then that. I cannot wait til April when a new sweet spirit joins our home.
13). Priesthood Power:
When I was sick, I was able to receive a Priesthood Blessing and I know that I started to feel better fast because of it. I believe in the healing power and the comfort that it can give. It sure has made a difference in my life when I have been blessed by it.
14). School:
Right now, it is because the twins get to go to school. I love seeing and hearing all the new things they are learning, the sparkle in their eyes and the excitement they have about learning. A selfish reason, is that I get a couple of hours during the week without them while they are gone. I still have Joshua and we get some one on one time with him.
15). Diversity:
Growing up, I really never had the chance experience people with who are different then me. I am now and in no way judging people. My children however, I around kids and people that are handicapped, coming from different cultures, and different religions. They are learning earlier then I did to accept people and to be friends with everyone.
16). My pregnancy pillow:
I have had a hard time sleeping being pregnant and it is because my body gets sore pretty bad throughout the night and I also have problems with my sciatic nerve. Last month, I broke down and bought a pregnancy pillow. Even though it is hugh, I have had more nights that I am sleeping then I did without. With my other 2 pregnancies; I used a body pillow and now I wonder how I even got along with this new pillow.
17). My sister got another week in:
My sister has difficult pregnancies. Her first one she delivered Willow at 24 weeks. She is expecting baby #2 and is 30 weeks. Last week, she was put on bed rest because her body is ready to have the baby. But the word today is she got another week in and we pray she gets another week down.
I know that there will be more that I will think of but here is a few. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving and don;t forget to think of what you are thankful for.
Monday, October 31, 2011
Halloween 2011
It is so fun to have holidays that they kids are old enough to get excited about and enjoy participating in. I am not a fan of Halloween and have children born a week before Halloween and who also enjoy Halloween it makes it easier to start liking it a little more myself.
This year, it started with going to Gardner Village two weekends ago. We went last year as a field trip with the twins preschool class to see the Witches that were on display and do a scavenger hunt. This year, the kids begged to go. So we took them. It was a beautiful day with nice weather and plenty of sunshine. Ashleigh had to have a picture taken in front of the Witch the Hula-Hoops because "that is her favorite." And then we tried to get all 3 to take a picture but all 3 looking at the camera at the same time was not possible.
Friday, my in-laws ward which is the ward Chris and I lived in for our first 2 years of marriage, had a trunk or treat. We decided to go. Ashleigh was dressed as Mulan, Matthew as a Clown, and Joshua as a Blue Crayon. Today, was Halloween, and Ashleigh was a good/bad angel, Matthew and Joshua were Bumblebee the transformers. Unfortunately, I did not get pics of today. I did get todays outfit from Walmart after Halloween last year when they were discounted, and then last week we went to Savers and found these other costumes that they could choose from. It is great to get costumes at a discounted price whether they are new or used.
At school today, they had a parade with parties in their classrooms, and then I opted to take them to the mall near our house for trick or treating. I opted for it because it started earlier then the trunk or treat being done at another ward house in our stake and I have never taken them around the condo's or the neighbor near by so I am not sure who gives out candy. They had fun, and was surprised that Dairy Queen gave out free ice-cream cones.
We hope all of you and you families had a Happy Halloween.
This year, it started with going to Gardner Village two weekends ago. We went last year as a field trip with the twins preschool class to see the Witches that were on display and do a scavenger hunt. This year, the kids begged to go. So we took them. It was a beautiful day with nice weather and plenty of sunshine. Ashleigh had to have a picture taken in front of the Witch the Hula-Hoops because "that is her favorite." And then we tried to get all 3 to take a picture but all 3 looking at the camera at the same time was not possible.
Friday, my in-laws ward which is the ward Chris and I lived in for our first 2 years of marriage, had a trunk or treat. We decided to go. Ashleigh was dressed as Mulan, Matthew as a Clown, and Joshua as a Blue Crayon. Today, was Halloween, and Ashleigh was a good/bad angel, Matthew and Joshua were Bumblebee the transformers. Unfortunately, I did not get pics of today. I did get todays outfit from Walmart after Halloween last year when they were discounted, and then last week we went to Savers and found these other costumes that they could choose from. It is great to get costumes at a discounted price whether they are new or used.
At school today, they had a parade with parties in their classrooms, and then I opted to take them to the mall near our house for trick or treating. I opted for it because it started earlier then the trunk or treat being done at another ward house in our stake and I have never taken them around the condo's or the neighbor near by so I am not sure who gives out candy. They had fun, and was surprised that Dairy Queen gave out free ice-cream cones.
We hope all of you and you families had a Happy Halloween.
My twins turned 6
Six years and one week ago, I gave birth to my first two children. When I had found out 9 months earlier that I would be a mom for the first time, I was over-joyed. A month after learning I was expecting, I was nervous about the whole thing when I learned I was pregnant with 2 babies.
It was really busy and overwhelming being a first time mom with not only 1 baby but 2 babies, but I quickly feel in love with my twins after the shock of being pregnant with twins went away. I cannot believe that they have grown so much. They are not cute little tiny babies anymore but beautiful/handsome little children. They are so smart, caring, loving, and easy to get along with. They love school, church, being around the house, and being with friends and family. They love to sing and I love watching their eyes light up each time they learn something new and think I haven't learned what they just learned at school, or hearing them sing a song to talk about what they learned in school. Where has the time gone? We are so blessed to have them in our home and apart of our eternal family. We love Matthew and Ashleigh so much.
It was really busy and overwhelming being a first time mom with not only 1 baby but 2 babies, but I quickly feel in love with my twins after the shock of being pregnant with twins went away. I cannot believe that they have grown so much. They are not cute little tiny babies anymore but beautiful/handsome little children. They are so smart, caring, loving, and easy to get along with. They love school, church, being around the house, and being with friends and family. They love to sing and I love watching their eyes light up each time they learn something new and think I haven't learned what they just learned at school, or hearing them sing a song to talk about what they learned in school. Where has the time gone? We are so blessed to have them in our home and apart of our eternal family. We love Matthew and Ashleigh so much.
Ashleigh's nose update.
It has been over 2 months since Ashleigh had cosmetic surgery to remove the Hemangioma off her nose. As a parent, you learn to love you children even when they may not look so perfect to others. We always have thought that Ashleigh was a beautiful little girl and we were able to see her past the bump/bruise on her nose. We have only been concerned about her being able to breath and what self esteem she would have later in life if other children were to ever tease her.
We saw her ENT at the beginning of Oct, and he too was very please with how it is looking from the surgery and the healing time, she has been pretty happy about it to. She has has a little bump that at first he thought could be infection but after checking he ruled out that it was scare tissue. He injected a medicine inside it to help soften the scare tissue while it heals to it too will go away, but he may have to do it again. But here are some pics since it has been healing.
We saw her ENT at the beginning of Oct, and he too was very please with how it is looking from the surgery and the healing time, she has been pretty happy about it to. She has has a little bump that at first he thought could be infection but after checking he ruled out that it was scare tissue. He injected a medicine inside it to help soften the scare tissue while it heals to it too will go away, but he may have to do it again. But here are some pics since it has been healing.
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Memories of General Conference
When I was a little girl, I remember conference weekend being spent with my grandparents. On the Saturday sessions, especially in October, we would go for a ride in their car while listening to conference on the radio, looking at all the changing colors of the leaves, and in between sessions, stopping and having a picnic lunch. On Sunday's my grandma would make a nice meal and have my family and my mom's sisters family for dinner. We would go over and watch Sunday morning, eat lunch, and watch afternoon session before going home. My grandpa Despain, would always sing along with the choir any song that he new. My grandpa would also be working on a puzzle that I would help or do one of his "canvas and yarn" project. Grandma usually had a afghan she was making or a counter cross stitch.
When, I was in young women's, I remember that some General Conference's, they would think it was fun to wake up early and take us to the Saturday morning session at the Tabernacle. When it was in the Tabernacle, they never gave tickets out like they do now for the Conference Center. You would just stand in line and you would have to be there pretty early like 4am to even get a shot of getting inside. Most of the time we would not make it in so we would stay and listen on the grass or the weather was bad enough that they would take us home. On time we got in, but most of us Young Women has a hard time staying awake because we were tired from getting up so early and the Tabernacle was really warm since it had no air conditioning. It was a wonderful experience being able to listen to the Prophet and Apostles in the Tabernacle.
By the time I was in seminary and institute, I was taking notes. I had a notebook and pencil, writing down every bit of information that I felt was important to me and occasionally I would review what I wrote. The first year I was at UVSC, I was in institute choir and had the opportunity to sing in the Saturday afternoon session the last time that General Conference was held in the Tabernacle. I felt so blessed to have that opportunity to sit in the choir seats, singing for congregation, and being in the same building as President Hinckley.
There were some conferences that I worked and missed Conference, It made me sad to miss it but I looked forward to reading the talks when the ensign came out.
Now that I am older, married, have children, and have been lucky enough to have a position that allows me to be home on the weekend. I am able to spend it at home, listening to Conference on TV. Saturdays, I will usually spend the time cleaning my house and by the end of the day it is clean. Sundays, it is usually spent, taking it easy. But either way, I end up with a clean house and a uplifted spirit. I love being able to listen and then read the words that are spoken by the Prophet and Apostles. I always find several talks that we meant for me. I will always pray a few days ahead of Conference, that I will have a answer to my questions or that Heavenly Father will know what I need to hear.
In April, there was a talk by Elder Anderson that helped me understand the events of our miscarriage in January and what Heavenly Father had planned for our family. This time, I have been struggling with some issues and stress at work and what to do. We have felt that i should quit my job and stay at home with the kids. It would be tough because I have worked since I was 16 years old and learning to live on less would also be heard. But the talk yesterday about the important role of motherhood gave me the clear answer that being home and taking care of my kids is more important then a job outside the home. I am tapering off slowly til the baby is born but I am looking forward to being home full time with my children. I hope that you and your families felt uplifted and got some guidance in your lives. Isn't General Conference wonderful?
When, I was in young women's, I remember that some General Conference's, they would think it was fun to wake up early and take us to the Saturday morning session at the Tabernacle. When it was in the Tabernacle, they never gave tickets out like they do now for the Conference Center. You would just stand in line and you would have to be there pretty early like 4am to even get a shot of getting inside. Most of the time we would not make it in so we would stay and listen on the grass or the weather was bad enough that they would take us home. On time we got in, but most of us Young Women has a hard time staying awake because we were tired from getting up so early and the Tabernacle was really warm since it had no air conditioning. It was a wonderful experience being able to listen to the Prophet and Apostles in the Tabernacle.
By the time I was in seminary and institute, I was taking notes. I had a notebook and pencil, writing down every bit of information that I felt was important to me and occasionally I would review what I wrote. The first year I was at UVSC, I was in institute choir and had the opportunity to sing in the Saturday afternoon session the last time that General Conference was held in the Tabernacle. I felt so blessed to have that opportunity to sit in the choir seats, singing for congregation, and being in the same building as President Hinckley.
There were some conferences that I worked and missed Conference, It made me sad to miss it but I looked forward to reading the talks when the ensign came out.
Now that I am older, married, have children, and have been lucky enough to have a position that allows me to be home on the weekend. I am able to spend it at home, listening to Conference on TV. Saturdays, I will usually spend the time cleaning my house and by the end of the day it is clean. Sundays, it is usually spent, taking it easy. But either way, I end up with a clean house and a uplifted spirit. I love being able to listen and then read the words that are spoken by the Prophet and Apostles. I always find several talks that we meant for me. I will always pray a few days ahead of Conference, that I will have a answer to my questions or that Heavenly Father will know what I need to hear.
In April, there was a talk by Elder Anderson that helped me understand the events of our miscarriage in January and what Heavenly Father had planned for our family. This time, I have been struggling with some issues and stress at work and what to do. We have felt that i should quit my job and stay at home with the kids. It would be tough because I have worked since I was 16 years old and learning to live on less would also be heard. But the talk yesterday about the important role of motherhood gave me the clear answer that being home and taking care of my kids is more important then a job outside the home. I am tapering off slowly til the baby is born but I am looking forward to being home full time with my children. I hope that you and your families felt uplifted and got some guidance in your lives. Isn't General Conference wonderful?
Monday, September 26, 2011
Baby #4 on the way :)
Ever since we were married, we have always felt that we were to have children in our home. We have been blessed to have our almost 6 year old twins and our 3 1/2 half year old. Unfortunately, we suffered a devastating miscarriage in January of this year. We still felt we should have another child and when we got the Ok from our OBGYN we started trying again. We have had ups and downs with cysts keeping us from getting pregnant. In the end of July and first part of August, I was under a lot of stress with changes at my job, getting Matthew and Ashleigh ready for school, pulling our condo off the market, and getting Ashleigh ready for her surgery. With all this stress, I was still taking my fertility medicine but I was not taking my ovulation tests or tracking my cycle during the month. I had joked with Chris that it would be a miracle if we got pregnant because I was not tracking. Also our due date with the baby we had miscarried was coming up Labor Day weekend and I thought it would also be a good distraction if we were pregnant.
The weekend that I was to start my cycle, I was well prepared and I was having a lot of pain on my ovaries so I thought that they were just cysts because that it what it felt like. Monday had come and I was 4 days late and in a lot of pain. So I went and got a pregnancy test just to see because I wanted to know if I could take Ibprophen or not. To both mine and Chris's surprise we saw this:
I had a scheduled ultrasound the day after to look at the cysts from 10 weeks before. All the tech could see was the cysts that was on right side was gone, but two cysts we found on my left and my uterus looked good for pregnancy. The tech sent me to have a blood test done. The blood test came back with 370 which meant that I was pregnant but that wanted me to come 48 hours later for another test to see if the level at least double which it had, it was over 1000.
They had me come back 2 weeks later to have another ultrasound to look at the cysts and see if they could see any baby yet. We were a couple of days off so all they could see was the 2 cysts and a sac with a yok sac inside.
At 7 1/2 weeks, I saw my OBGYN for my first prenatal exam. He said it felt that I was 7 weeks and that things were going fine at that point. He scheduled a ultrasound for today to checked for viability of the baby.
3 days after my appointment, I had woken up in the morning to use the bathroom and found that I was passing clots. I had Chris take my to the emergency room. I was scared and upset, because I could not understand why it was happening and if I was miscarrying again. The ultrasound found a baby with a heartbeat but also found a tear with some bleeding. They sent me home and put me on bed rest til the bleeding stopped. It stopped so I tried to go to church but had to come home because it started again, but I got it to stop and it has not started again. I talked to my nurse on Monday who told me that I could go off bed rest because if I miscarried it did not matter which position I was in and to call if I saw any tissue with the bleeding.
Today, I had my schedule ultrasound and I was reassured that the baby looks good, heartbeat strong, the cord is already attached, and the baby is measuring 9 weeks 5 days which is 1 day smaller that how many weeks I am. We are soooooo excited. The baby is due April 24th but I never see a due date so I am thinking around Easter which is the 8th. Ashleigh wants it to be a girl and Matthew wants it to be a boy. I would love to see another girl but I will be happy either way. This will be our last baby.
The weekend that I was to start my cycle, I was well prepared and I was having a lot of pain on my ovaries so I thought that they were just cysts because that it what it felt like. Monday had come and I was 4 days late and in a lot of pain. So I went and got a pregnancy test just to see because I wanted to know if I could take Ibprophen or not. To both mine and Chris's surprise we saw this:
I had a scheduled ultrasound the day after to look at the cysts from 10 weeks before. All the tech could see was the cysts that was on right side was gone, but two cysts we found on my left and my uterus looked good for pregnancy. The tech sent me to have a blood test done. The blood test came back with 370 which meant that I was pregnant but that wanted me to come 48 hours later for another test to see if the level at least double which it had, it was over 1000.
They had me come back 2 weeks later to have another ultrasound to look at the cysts and see if they could see any baby yet. We were a couple of days off so all they could see was the 2 cysts and a sac with a yok sac inside.
At 7 1/2 weeks, I saw my OBGYN for my first prenatal exam. He said it felt that I was 7 weeks and that things were going fine at that point. He scheduled a ultrasound for today to checked for viability of the baby.
3 days after my appointment, I had woken up in the morning to use the bathroom and found that I was passing clots. I had Chris take my to the emergency room. I was scared and upset, because I could not understand why it was happening and if I was miscarrying again. The ultrasound found a baby with a heartbeat but also found a tear with some bleeding. They sent me home and put me on bed rest til the bleeding stopped. It stopped so I tried to go to church but had to come home because it started again, but I got it to stop and it has not started again. I talked to my nurse on Monday who told me that I could go off bed rest because if I miscarried it did not matter which position I was in and to call if I saw any tissue with the bleeding.
Today, I had my schedule ultrasound and I was reassured that the baby looks good, heartbeat strong, the cord is already attached, and the baby is measuring 9 weeks 5 days which is 1 day smaller that how many weeks I am. We are soooooo excited. The baby is due April 24th but I never see a due date so I am thinking around Easter which is the 8th. Ashleigh wants it to be a girl and Matthew wants it to be a boy. I would love to see another girl but I will be happy either way. This will be our last baby.
Monday, September 5, 2011
First day of Kinderrgarten
This year, the twins are old enough to attend Kindergarten. They attend John Fremont Elementary school which is across the street on the south end of the condo's that we live at. Our school has a traditional schedule. They have 2 morning classes, 1 afternoon, and 1 all day. To get the all day class, the kids are tested to see how much they know, but they usually take "at risk kids." We were hoping that they would get in all day because we thought it would be really good for both of the kids, but I guess that they are too smart because they did not get in. The school prefers to split twins into different classes. I have been asked how I have felt about that. I am okay with it for the most part. Matthew is the dominate twin and Ashleigh relies heavily on him so it gives them independence from each other and because our ward and neighborhood does not have as many kids for them to play with,it gives us 2 classes worth of kids for us to have kids for them to play with. They got into the morning kindergarten.
School started Aug 26th but Matthew was the only one able to go to the first day because Ashleigh's surgery the day before, the doctors said it would be best to wait until Monday. Ashleigh and Josh went with Chris and I to take Matthew to and from school. Since the school is so close, we have opted to walk to school.
Matthew showing his new backpack before walking to school.
Matthew at the school waiting to go in.
Ashleigh and Joshua saying goodbye to Matthew.
Ashleigh's first day of school.
Ashleigh and Matthew.
Ashleigh and Matthew LOVES school, which I am glad. Joshua misses them while they are at school, but he loves having the house and all the toys to himself. I thought that he would be upset that he would not be able to go with them, but he is satisfied just walking them to school and picking them up. I cannot believe that 6 years have flown by so fast. It seems like yesterday that I brought them home as newborns from the hospital. They have learned so much and have grown so much in the last 6 years. I am excited to see how much they will learn this year in Kindergarten and the things that it will help them do and become, I am also excited for the friendships that they will make. I love my children. I am grateful that I get the job of being their mom.
School started Aug 26th but Matthew was the only one able to go to the first day because Ashleigh's surgery the day before, the doctors said it would be best to wait until Monday. Ashleigh and Josh went with Chris and I to take Matthew to and from school. Since the school is so close, we have opted to walk to school.
Matthew showing his new backpack before walking to school.
Matthew at the school waiting to go in.
Ashleigh and Joshua saying goodbye to Matthew.
Ashleigh's first day of school.
Ashleigh and Matthew.
Ashleigh and Matthew LOVES school, which I am glad. Joshua misses them while they are at school, but he loves having the house and all the toys to himself. I thought that he would be upset that he would not be able to go with them, but he is satisfied just walking them to school and picking them up. I cannot believe that 6 years have flown by so fast. It seems like yesterday that I brought them home as newborns from the hospital. They have learned so much and have grown so much in the last 6 years. I am excited to see how much they will learn this year in Kindergarten and the things that it will help them do and become, I am also excited for the friendships that they will make. I love my children. I am grateful that I get the job of being their mom.
Monday, August 29, 2011
Hemangioma/Vascular Birthmarks.
HEMANGIOMAS: WHAT ARE THEY?
Hemangiomas are simply a collection of extra blood vessels in the skin. They may have different appearances depending on the depth of the increased numbers of blood vessels.
Hemangioma Specialists Hemangioma Specialists
Fig. A
Strawberry Hemangioma is an abnormal collection of blood vessels in the skin characterized by a bright red color and well-defined border.
A Deep or Cavernous Hemangioma is a large, collection of blood vessels beneath the skin surface characterized by a soft, bluish, or skin colored mass.
A Combined Hemangioma is a combination of a deep and superficial (strawberry) hemangioma.
Hemangioma
Hemangioma in one-year-old baby
HEMANGIOMAS: HOW COMMON ARE THEY?
Hemangiomas are one of the most common birthmarks in newborns. Most hemangiomas are not present at birth but develop within the first few weeks to months of life. They are found in up to 10 percent of babies by the age of one.
HEMANGIOMAS: WHY DO THEY OCCUR?
The cause of hemangiomas is unknown. In very rare instances they may run in families, but in general they are not inherited. For a parent with a child with this birthmark, there is no increased risk of having a subsequent child with a hemangioma. Hemangiomas are more common in girl babies than boys. They are also more commonly seen in premature infants.
TYPICAL GROWTH PATTERN OF HEMANGIOMAS: WHEN WILL THEY GO AWAY?
Age of Child Hemangiomas
Birth often not present or noticeable
1-2 months becomes noticeable
1-6 months grows most rapidly
12-18 months begins to shrink (involute)
Hemangiomas usually involute (shrink away) in time. 30% of hemangiomas will resolve by 3 years of age 50% by 5 years of age, and 80%-90% by 9 years of age. Over one-half of hemangiomas heal with an excellent cosmetic result without treatment.
WHICH HEMANGIOMAS NEED TREATMENT?
Hemangiomas usually appear, grow and go away without problems. In most cases, we do not recommend treatment. Some hemangiomas can cause significant problems, however. Scenarios that may be more complicated and require treatment include:
1) Involvement of a vital organ, like the eye or ear, or windpipe
2) Bleeding
3) Ulceration
4) Crusting or infection
5) Rapid growth and deformity of the surrounding tissues
Hemangiomas in certain areas may have a higher risk of complications. These areas include the face (especially nose and lips), body folds, and groin. Hemangiomas in certain locations, which affect function, or are complicated by infection or ulceration, may be treated with laser, medication, or injections. If any worrisome signs appear such as these listed above, please contact your physician.
Hemangioma Treatment Hemangioma Treatment
Hemangioma Under the Eye Before Pulsed Dye Laser Treatment and Cortisone Hemangioma Under the Eye After Pulsed Dye Laser Treatment and Cortisone
Hemangioma Treatment Hemangioma Treatment
Fig. Baby born with hemangioma on scalp before treatment. Notice the open sores which have developed within the birthmark leading to pain and discomfort for the baby. Fig. Same baby after multiple laser treatments and injections of cortisone into the birthmark.
WHAT TREATMENTS ARE AVAILABLE?
In many instances no treatment will be indicated. If treatment is needed, however, it may include:
Cortisone: Injected into the hemangioma or given orally by mouth. If given orally for prolonged periods has side effects including increased risk of systemic infection, high blood pressure, diabetes, increased appetite, stomach irritation, growth suppression, etc.
Pulsed Dye Laser Therapy: This therapy treats the superficial blood vessels best. If this treatment is recommended it is usually reserved for the superficial component of hemangioma, characterized by a flat, red lesion. It is usually administered in a series of laser treatments spaced 2-4 weeks apart.
Antibiotics: If the hemangioma is infected and open it may be treated with a short course of antibiotics and daily wound cleansing.
Alpha Interferon: This therapy is limited to the most severe and potentially life threatening hemangiomas. It involves administering systemic medication via daily shots, usually into the leg, for several months. It is usually given to the baby by the parents under physician direction and supervision. This therapy has serious potential side effects including neurologic effects, blood abnormalities and others.
Surgical removal: In rare instances, hemangiomas may be surgically removed especially if they are not likely to resolve spontaneously or lead to significant tissue distortion and deformation.
HEMANGIOMAS: WHAT ARE THEY?
Hemangiomas are simply a collection of extra blood vessels in the skin. They may have different appearances depending on the depth of the increased numbers of blood vessels.
Strawberry Hemangioma is an abnormal collection of blood vessels in the skin characterized by a bright red color and well-defined border.
A Deep or Cavernous Hemangioma is a large, collection of blood vessels beneath the skin surface characterized by a soft, bluish, or skin colored mass.
A Combined Hemangioma is a combination of a deep and superficial (strawberry) hemangioma.
HEMANGIOMAS: HOW COMMON ARE THEY?
Hemangiomas are one of the most common birthmarks in newborns. Most hemangiomas are not present at birth but develop within the first few weeks to months of life. They are found in up to 10 percent of babies by the age of one.
HEMANGIOMAS: WHY DO THEY OCCUR?
The cause of hemangiomas is unknown. In very rare instances they may run in families, but in general they are not inherited. For a parent with a child with this birthmark, there is no increased risk of having a subsequent child with a hemangioma. Hemangiomas are more common in girl babies than boys. They are also more commonly seen in premature infants.
TYPICAL GROWTH PATTERN OF HEMANGIOMAS: WHEN WILL THEY GO AWAY?
Age of Child Hemangiomas
Birth often not present or noticeable
1-2 months becomes noticeable
1-6 months grows most rapidly
12-18 months begins to shrink (involute)
Hemangiomas usually involute (shrink away) in time. 30% of hemangiomas will resolve by 3 years of age 50% by 5 years of age, and 80%-90% by 9 years of age. Over one-half of hemangiomas heal with an excellent cosmetic result without treatment.
WHICH HEMANGIOMAS NEED TREATMENT?
Hemangiomas usually appear, grow and go away without problems. In most cases, we do not recommend treatment. Some hemangiomas can cause significant problems, however. Scenarios that may be more complicated and require treatment include:
1) Involvement of a vital organ, like the eye or ear, or windpipe
2) Bleeding
3) Ulceration
4) Crusting or infection
5) Rapid growth and deformity of the surrounding tissues
Hemangiomas in certain areas may have a higher risk of complications. These areas include the face (especially nose and lips), body folds, and groin. Hemangiomas in certain locations, which affect function, or are complicated by infection or ulceration, may be treated with laser, medication, or injections. If any worrisome signs appear such as these listed above, please contact your physician.
Hemangioma Treatment Hemangioma Treatment
Hemangioma Under the Eye Before Pulsed Dye Laser Treatment and Cortisone Hemangioma Under the Eye After Pulsed Dye Laser Treatment and Cortisone
Hemangioma Treatment Hemangioma Treatment
Fig. Baby born with hemangioma on scalp before treatment. Notice the open sores which have developed within the birthmark leading to pain and discomfort for the baby. Fig. Same baby after multiple laser treatments and injections of cortisone into the birthmark.
WHAT TREATMENTS ARE AVAILABLE?
In many instances no treatment will be indicated. If treatment is needed, however, it may include:
Cortisone: Injected into the hemangioma or given orally by mouth. If given orally for prolonged periods has side effects including increased risk of systemic infection, high blood pressure, diabetes, increased appetite, stomach irritation, growth suppression, etc.
Pulsed Dye Laser Therapy: This therapy treats the superficial blood vessels best. If this treatment is recommended it is usually reserved for the superficial component of hemangioma, characterized by a flat, red lesion. It is usually administered in a series of laser treatments spaced 2-4 weeks apart.
Antibiotics: If the hemangioma is infected and open it may be treated with a short course of antibiotics and daily wound cleansing.
Alpha Interferon: This therapy is limited to the most severe and potentially life threatening hemangiomas. It involves administering systemic medication via daily shots, usually into the leg, for several months. It is usually given to the baby by the parents under physician direction and supervision. This therapy has serious potential side effects including neurologic effects, blood abnormalities and others.
Surgical removal: In rare instances, hemangiomas may be surgically removed especially if they are not likely to resolve spontaneously or lead to significant tissue distortion and deformation.
So Ashleigh has had a combined hemangioma since when was 1 month old. It was small at first and we thought that she has a bruise from a bulb syringe when she had a cold. We quickly learned that what we thought was a bruise was not but a hemangioma. It was growing rapidly to when she was 2 1/2 months she was unable to breath. We saw a ENT at Primary's Children Medical Center but at the time all he wanted to do was take pictures and have us come back as we waited to see what is would do, he never had any treatment plan from him on any of the visits but just pictures being taken. These appointments eventually led us to a dermetologist at Primary's who knew right away what we were dealing with and how to treat it. She put Ashleigh on steriods to get it to stop growing. She was on it for 7 months and it did make it stop growing, it did not go away, and she gained alot of weight from water due to the steroids. Every year we had a follow up visit with a dr. for it. We saw another ENT right after we had Joshua, and he said that it would be best to sugically remove it but it would be better to wait til she was older because she could handle it better and it would not scar as bad. He suggested when she was ready to start Kindergarten. So in April of this year we started looking into removing it this summer. We eventually were led to a plastic surgeon who led us back to the first ENT who I didn't like. But I did give him the benefit of the doubt. He ordered a MRI to look inside it to determine what it was doing at this point. We learned that the blood was gone but was replaced with fatty tissue. The fatty tissue would grow with her and then cause problems later in life. He agreed with the help of the plastic surgeon to remove it. The surgery was done last Thursday at Primary's. It was a 2 hour surgery with a 2 hour recovery and considered outpatient. She did really well during the surgery and she never threw up after they woke her up. I was nervous how things would turn out so I did not sleep well the night before. When we got home, she wanted to eat lots of different things since we had to fast the night before. She was suppose to eat soft solids but we wee told to give her what she asked for and that was what we did. She had a hard time settling down when we got home, and we ended up taking a walk to our mailbox but she quickly got tired and dizzy so that ended fast. She wanted to go to her first day of Kindergarten, but the DR. said no, so we kept her home. She has not complained too much about her nose hurting unless it was bothering her but it hasn't been often, and she is excited that her "bump" is gone. He face is swollen and bruise and she may have to have touch up surgery anywhere from 2 to 10 years. I am glad to it is gone and that she will no longer have to live with it. But I was always able to see past it and see a beautiful little girl that she is. Her is a few pictures i have taken over the years and from the night before and through the weekend.
When Ashleigh is 1 month old.
2 1/2 months
After being on steriods for a month.
Night before surgery.
The night following the surgery.
Sunday night following surgery.
Hemangiomas are simply a collection of extra blood vessels in the skin. They may have different appearances depending on the depth of the increased numbers of blood vessels.
Hemangioma Specialists Hemangioma Specialists
Fig. A
Strawberry Hemangioma is an abnormal collection of blood vessels in the skin characterized by a bright red color and well-defined border.
A Deep or Cavernous Hemangioma is a large, collection of blood vessels beneath the skin surface characterized by a soft, bluish, or skin colored mass.
A Combined Hemangioma is a combination of a deep and superficial (strawberry) hemangioma.
Hemangioma
Hemangioma in one-year-old baby
HEMANGIOMAS: HOW COMMON ARE THEY?
Hemangiomas are one of the most common birthmarks in newborns. Most hemangiomas are not present at birth but develop within the first few weeks to months of life. They are found in up to 10 percent of babies by the age of one.
HEMANGIOMAS: WHY DO THEY OCCUR?
The cause of hemangiomas is unknown. In very rare instances they may run in families, but in general they are not inherited. For a parent with a child with this birthmark, there is no increased risk of having a subsequent child with a hemangioma. Hemangiomas are more common in girl babies than boys. They are also more commonly seen in premature infants.
TYPICAL GROWTH PATTERN OF HEMANGIOMAS: WHEN WILL THEY GO AWAY?
Age of Child Hemangiomas
Birth often not present or noticeable
1-2 months becomes noticeable
1-6 months grows most rapidly
12-18 months begins to shrink (involute)
Hemangiomas usually involute (shrink away) in time. 30% of hemangiomas will resolve by 3 years of age 50% by 5 years of age, and 80%-90% by 9 years of age. Over one-half of hemangiomas heal with an excellent cosmetic result without treatment.
WHICH HEMANGIOMAS NEED TREATMENT?
Hemangiomas usually appear, grow and go away without problems. In most cases, we do not recommend treatment. Some hemangiomas can cause significant problems, however. Scenarios that may be more complicated and require treatment include:
1) Involvement of a vital organ, like the eye or ear, or windpipe
2) Bleeding
3) Ulceration
4) Crusting or infection
5) Rapid growth and deformity of the surrounding tissues
Hemangiomas in certain areas may have a higher risk of complications. These areas include the face (especially nose and lips), body folds, and groin. Hemangiomas in certain locations, which affect function, or are complicated by infection or ulceration, may be treated with laser, medication, or injections. If any worrisome signs appear such as these listed above, please contact your physician.
Hemangioma Treatment Hemangioma Treatment
Hemangioma Under the Eye Before Pulsed Dye Laser Treatment and Cortisone Hemangioma Under the Eye After Pulsed Dye Laser Treatment and Cortisone
Hemangioma Treatment Hemangioma Treatment
Fig. Baby born with hemangioma on scalp before treatment. Notice the open sores which have developed within the birthmark leading to pain and discomfort for the baby. Fig. Same baby after multiple laser treatments and injections of cortisone into the birthmark.
WHAT TREATMENTS ARE AVAILABLE?
In many instances no treatment will be indicated. If treatment is needed, however, it may include:
Cortisone: Injected into the hemangioma or given orally by mouth. If given orally for prolonged periods has side effects including increased risk of systemic infection, high blood pressure, diabetes, increased appetite, stomach irritation, growth suppression, etc.
Pulsed Dye Laser Therapy: This therapy treats the superficial blood vessels best. If this treatment is recommended it is usually reserved for the superficial component of hemangioma, characterized by a flat, red lesion. It is usually administered in a series of laser treatments spaced 2-4 weeks apart.
Antibiotics: If the hemangioma is infected and open it may be treated with a short course of antibiotics and daily wound cleansing.
Alpha Interferon: This therapy is limited to the most severe and potentially life threatening hemangiomas. It involves administering systemic medication via daily shots, usually into the leg, for several months. It is usually given to the baby by the parents under physician direction and supervision. This therapy has serious potential side effects including neurologic effects, blood abnormalities and others.
Surgical removal: In rare instances, hemangiomas may be surgically removed especially if they are not likely to resolve spontaneously or lead to significant tissue distortion and deformation.
HEMANGIOMAS: WHAT ARE THEY?
Hemangiomas are simply a collection of extra blood vessels in the skin. They may have different appearances depending on the depth of the increased numbers of blood vessels.
Strawberry Hemangioma is an abnormal collection of blood vessels in the skin characterized by a bright red color and well-defined border.
A Deep or Cavernous Hemangioma is a large, collection of blood vessels beneath the skin surface characterized by a soft, bluish, or skin colored mass.
A Combined Hemangioma is a combination of a deep and superficial (strawberry) hemangioma.
HEMANGIOMAS: HOW COMMON ARE THEY?
Hemangiomas are one of the most common birthmarks in newborns. Most hemangiomas are not present at birth but develop within the first few weeks to months of life. They are found in up to 10 percent of babies by the age of one.
HEMANGIOMAS: WHY DO THEY OCCUR?
The cause of hemangiomas is unknown. In very rare instances they may run in families, but in general they are not inherited. For a parent with a child with this birthmark, there is no increased risk of having a subsequent child with a hemangioma. Hemangiomas are more common in girl babies than boys. They are also more commonly seen in premature infants.
TYPICAL GROWTH PATTERN OF HEMANGIOMAS: WHEN WILL THEY GO AWAY?
Age of Child Hemangiomas
Birth often not present or noticeable
1-2 months becomes noticeable
1-6 months grows most rapidly
12-18 months begins to shrink (involute)
Hemangiomas usually involute (shrink away) in time. 30% of hemangiomas will resolve by 3 years of age 50% by 5 years of age, and 80%-90% by 9 years of age. Over one-half of hemangiomas heal with an excellent cosmetic result without treatment.
WHICH HEMANGIOMAS NEED TREATMENT?
Hemangiomas usually appear, grow and go away without problems. In most cases, we do not recommend treatment. Some hemangiomas can cause significant problems, however. Scenarios that may be more complicated and require treatment include:
1) Involvement of a vital organ, like the eye or ear, or windpipe
2) Bleeding
3) Ulceration
4) Crusting or infection
5) Rapid growth and deformity of the surrounding tissues
Hemangiomas in certain areas may have a higher risk of complications. These areas include the face (especially nose and lips), body folds, and groin. Hemangiomas in certain locations, which affect function, or are complicated by infection or ulceration, may be treated with laser, medication, or injections. If any worrisome signs appear such as these listed above, please contact your physician.
Hemangioma Treatment Hemangioma Treatment
Hemangioma Under the Eye Before Pulsed Dye Laser Treatment and Cortisone Hemangioma Under the Eye After Pulsed Dye Laser Treatment and Cortisone
Hemangioma Treatment Hemangioma Treatment
Fig. Baby born with hemangioma on scalp before treatment. Notice the open sores which have developed within the birthmark leading to pain and discomfort for the baby. Fig. Same baby after multiple laser treatments and injections of cortisone into the birthmark.
WHAT TREATMENTS ARE AVAILABLE?
In many instances no treatment will be indicated. If treatment is needed, however, it may include:
Cortisone: Injected into the hemangioma or given orally by mouth. If given orally for prolonged periods has side effects including increased risk of systemic infection, high blood pressure, diabetes, increased appetite, stomach irritation, growth suppression, etc.
Pulsed Dye Laser Therapy: This therapy treats the superficial blood vessels best. If this treatment is recommended it is usually reserved for the superficial component of hemangioma, characterized by a flat, red lesion. It is usually administered in a series of laser treatments spaced 2-4 weeks apart.
Antibiotics: If the hemangioma is infected and open it may be treated with a short course of antibiotics and daily wound cleansing.
Alpha Interferon: This therapy is limited to the most severe and potentially life threatening hemangiomas. It involves administering systemic medication via daily shots, usually into the leg, for several months. It is usually given to the baby by the parents under physician direction and supervision. This therapy has serious potential side effects including neurologic effects, blood abnormalities and others.
Surgical removal: In rare instances, hemangiomas may be surgically removed especially if they are not likely to resolve spontaneously or lead to significant tissue distortion and deformation.
So Ashleigh has had a combined hemangioma since when was 1 month old. It was small at first and we thought that she has a bruise from a bulb syringe when she had a cold. We quickly learned that what we thought was a bruise was not but a hemangioma. It was growing rapidly to when she was 2 1/2 months she was unable to breath. We saw a ENT at Primary's Children Medical Center but at the time all he wanted to do was take pictures and have us come back as we waited to see what is would do, he never had any treatment plan from him on any of the visits but just pictures being taken. These appointments eventually led us to a dermetologist at Primary's who knew right away what we were dealing with and how to treat it. She put Ashleigh on steriods to get it to stop growing. She was on it for 7 months and it did make it stop growing, it did not go away, and she gained alot of weight from water due to the steroids. Every year we had a follow up visit with a dr. for it. We saw another ENT right after we had Joshua, and he said that it would be best to sugically remove it but it would be better to wait til she was older because she could handle it better and it would not scar as bad. He suggested when she was ready to start Kindergarten. So in April of this year we started looking into removing it this summer. We eventually were led to a plastic surgeon who led us back to the first ENT who I didn't like. But I did give him the benefit of the doubt. He ordered a MRI to look inside it to determine what it was doing at this point. We learned that the blood was gone but was replaced with fatty tissue. The fatty tissue would grow with her and then cause problems later in life. He agreed with the help of the plastic surgeon to remove it. The surgery was done last Thursday at Primary's. It was a 2 hour surgery with a 2 hour recovery and considered outpatient. She did really well during the surgery and she never threw up after they woke her up. I was nervous how things would turn out so I did not sleep well the night before. When we got home, she wanted to eat lots of different things since we had to fast the night before. She was suppose to eat soft solids but we wee told to give her what she asked for and that was what we did. She had a hard time settling down when we got home, and we ended up taking a walk to our mailbox but she quickly got tired and dizzy so that ended fast. She wanted to go to her first day of Kindergarten, but the DR. said no, so we kept her home. She has not complained too much about her nose hurting unless it was bothering her but it hasn't been often, and she is excited that her "bump" is gone. He face is swollen and bruise and she may have to have touch up surgery anywhere from 2 to 10 years. I am glad to it is gone and that she will no longer have to live with it. But I was always able to see past it and see a beautiful little girl that she is. Her is a few pictures i have taken over the years and from the night before and through the weekend.
When Ashleigh is 1 month old.
2 1/2 months
After being on steriods for a month.
Night before surgery.
The night following the surgery.
Sunday night following surgery.
Sunday, July 10, 2011
What do you do if....?
So my family and I are at the crossroads to say.
1). We felt strongly that we should have another child in our home. And that child would be the last baby that I would physically had. We wee pregnant with a due date of Sept 4, 2011; which is about a month and a half away. We were given the okay to ty again in March and my new OBGYN, Dr. Roth, put me on a new med call Femara and told me it would work faster or give me the hard side effects that clomid gave me like cysts. Well not pregnancy has started yet, and two months ago I started have pain in my ovaries that have progressively gotten worse and with a physical exam and a ultra sound found a cyst in my ovary. We would adopt or foster with the intent to adopt but a move would be required.
2). Last March, which was 18 months ago, we put our condo up for sale with the goal of buying a home with a yard and in a neighborhood with more children our children's age to play with. Well after having two dozen showings with only 2 since Sept, having our realtor retiring and getting a new one and reducing our price by $12,000. We still have not gotten it sold. And we don't feel good about renting it out yet.
3). Chris is the manger one step down from being the "general manager". Since December, he has applied to 8 or more openings, but after his company posts the position and he applies, they decide to move managers around without interviewing him. The promotion would be good for our family.
I usually feel confident when I know for sure what the goals are to work toward, but since these goals are not having any accomplishments resulting from them. Except for doing what we are usually doing, I am not sure what we should be doing anymore. I know that I am ranting, but it is nice to put what I have been thinking about down and maybe get some input for all of you, to help me think some more.
1). We felt strongly that we should have another child in our home. And that child would be the last baby that I would physically had. We wee pregnant with a due date of Sept 4, 2011; which is about a month and a half away. We were given the okay to ty again in March and my new OBGYN, Dr. Roth, put me on a new med call Femara and told me it would work faster or give me the hard side effects that clomid gave me like cysts. Well not pregnancy has started yet, and two months ago I started have pain in my ovaries that have progressively gotten worse and with a physical exam and a ultra sound found a cyst in my ovary. We would adopt or foster with the intent to adopt but a move would be required.
2). Last March, which was 18 months ago, we put our condo up for sale with the goal of buying a home with a yard and in a neighborhood with more children our children's age to play with. Well after having two dozen showings with only 2 since Sept, having our realtor retiring and getting a new one and reducing our price by $12,000. We still have not gotten it sold. And we don't feel good about renting it out yet.
3). Chris is the manger one step down from being the "general manager". Since December, he has applied to 8 or more openings, but after his company posts the position and he applies, they decide to move managers around without interviewing him. The promotion would be good for our family.
I usually feel confident when I know for sure what the goals are to work toward, but since these goals are not having any accomplishments resulting from them. Except for doing what we are usually doing, I am not sure what we should be doing anymore. I know that I am ranting, but it is nice to put what I have been thinking about down and maybe get some input for all of you, to help me think some more.
Friday, May 20, 2011
Michael Meets Mozart - 1 Piano, 2 Guys, 100 Cello Tracks- by Jon Schmidt...
I love Piano music and this is one of my favorite local pianist. And I love how he puts two different songs together and make them sound amazing. Check it out and you will love it just as much as I do.
Monday, April 25, 2011
What we have been up to for the last month.
I cannot believe how fast time flies, and I am sorry that I am not blogging more often.
Here is what we have been doing for the last little while.
On March 12th, I celebrated my 32nd birthday. It now just is a day and I do not feel any different then the day before. I will usually look at my last 12 month and then make goals for my next 12 months. It is a good way for me to evaluate how I am as a individual, a wife and a mother.
On March 13th, Our Joshua turned 3. He shares a birthday with his cousin (my sister's little girl) Willow who turned 4. We had a birthday party on Saturday with my family and Sunday with Chris's family.
Pn March 14th, Chris and I celebrated 8 years together. We are just as much in love as we were the day we got married. 8 years and 3 wonderful children later and we are still going strong. I am so glad that I get to be with Chris every day. He is such a wonderful man, he is my best friend and I love him so much.
This last weekend we celebrated Easter. The kids got bikes. They have had some at my parents house that my parents bought for them, but the stay there. These bikes our for them here. They were so excited that they wanted to get the bikes out right away. Joshua kept pushing his around the condo. They ask to ride them every day since they got them.
We got the twins registered for Kindergarton and they are finishing up preschool. It is amazing that they are growing up so fast and they are learning so much. They are smart and I am amazed how much more they can do now that they are older.
As for myself, I am getting stabilized on my post-partum medication. I am starting to feel at peace with the miscarriage. General Conference really helped. Especially Elder Johnson's talk about trials. I am not sure what the blessing will be from this trial, but I do know that my faith is stronger. We still are trying to sell our home but in a housing market that we have today, it might take longer then we thought. I am not sure what is in the future for my family and I, with housing and if more children will come into our family. But I am enjoying every minute of the things we have now and know for sure to look forward too.
Life is great.
Here is what we have been doing for the last little while.
On March 12th, I celebrated my 32nd birthday. It now just is a day and I do not feel any different then the day before. I will usually look at my last 12 month and then make goals for my next 12 months. It is a good way for me to evaluate how I am as a individual, a wife and a mother.
On March 13th, Our Joshua turned 3. He shares a birthday with his cousin (my sister's little girl) Willow who turned 4. We had a birthday party on Saturday with my family and Sunday with Chris's family.
Pn March 14th, Chris and I celebrated 8 years together. We are just as much in love as we were the day we got married. 8 years and 3 wonderful children later and we are still going strong. I am so glad that I get to be with Chris every day. He is such a wonderful man, he is my best friend and I love him so much.
This last weekend we celebrated Easter. The kids got bikes. They have had some at my parents house that my parents bought for them, but the stay there. These bikes our for them here. They were so excited that they wanted to get the bikes out right away. Joshua kept pushing his around the condo. They ask to ride them every day since they got them.
We got the twins registered for Kindergarton and they are finishing up preschool. It is amazing that they are growing up so fast and they are learning so much. They are smart and I am amazed how much more they can do now that they are older.
As for myself, I am getting stabilized on my post-partum medication. I am starting to feel at peace with the miscarriage. General Conference really helped. Especially Elder Johnson's talk about trials. I am not sure what the blessing will be from this trial, but I do know that my faith is stronger. We still are trying to sell our home but in a housing market that we have today, it might take longer then we thought. I am not sure what is in the future for my family and I, with housing and if more children will come into our family. But I am enjoying every minute of the things we have now and know for sure to look forward too.
Life is great.
Monday, March 14, 2011
8 Years Ago.......
8 Years ago, I was very blessed to marry my Best Friend in the Salt Lake Temple.
My life has been so blessed with Chris by my side. I am a better person because of him. Because we made the decision to be married, 3 beautiful children and 1 in Heaven have resulted from it, and I would not change a thing. I love you Chris with all my heart.
My life has been so blessed with Chris by my side. I am a better person because of him. Because we made the decision to be married, 3 beautiful children and 1 in Heaven have resulted from it, and I would not change a thing. I love you Chris with all my heart.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Post-Partum Depression.
When I had the D&C a week after the miscarriage, I was told at the hospital that the bleeding would only last a few days. But days turned to weeks and the bleeding never came to a end. With that, I started to lose all energy and did not want to do anything then what I "had to do". I went to work (although it took all that I had to convince myself to go), and I would take care of the improtant things at home but simlified (sandwhich and cereal for the children, let the children play on the WII while I sat on the couch, do as little laundry that I could get away with, clean only what was necessary but not the extra like I would normally do), I would not exercise, or get out much.
I felt like my world around me was falling apart and I was falling apart. I was watching all the medical bills adding up as if I had a complete delivery but no baby so then I felt bad for putting my family in a finacial stress over nothing, the condo has not sold and therefore I was losing hope that it will ever sell, it felt like Chris found more reasons to be away from home and work more than wanting to be at home, spritual things would not make me feel better; like I attended the temple 4 weeks after the miscarriage and even though it was good to go I felt disappointed that I did not get the clarity that I was hoping for (now I realize that I probably put the bar to high and expected too much too soon), I even found church hymns and sacrament talks to tear me up then help me.
I had started reading the Book of Mormon and praying but have not found a passage yet that gives me the enlightenment and the peace that I desire, but I know as I keep reading that I will find it.
This last fast Sunday, I decide to have a fast for myself with a preisthood blessing following it. The blessing did not give me the answers but did tell me that I will get to hold my baby girl in my arms when I get to the other side of the vail, and that I would also know the path in which I needed to proceed to get happy agian.
I have been feeling for a few weeks to make an appointment to talk with my family practice Dr. who I love and she is also LDS, and talk with her about what has been going on with me both physically and emotionally and see what she thought. After talking with her about how hard this has been on my, the physically I did not feel like I was getting better, I was feeling tired and un-motviated to do more then I had to, work was stressful, I tear up easily and was hormonal, I had alot of self-doubt and guilt. I was not sure what she would do; if she would tell me that it was normal to still feel the way that I do and give it more time, to put me on provera to stop the bleeding, or put me on a anti-depressant.
She decided to put me on both drugs for a little while and I can tell you that after a week and a half on both drugs; the bleeding finally stopped and I am find that I am smiling more, willing to clean more of my house, get out side and finding enjoyment reading my scriptures again. I know that I still have a long way to go where I still need to want to exercise and also find the peace and come to terms of what happend but I know that I am pointing in the right direction.
Post-partum depression can happen to anyone who has a pregnacy end no matter how, when or why. It is partly due to the dramatic change in the hormone level and the body adjusting to the "new normal". Some women can get as far as to wanting to hurt themselves or their children, but I have been blessed enough that that has not happended to me. I am greatful to Heavenly Father that helped me know how to feel better and get me to the things like my dr. to get me feeling better.
If any of you ever experience a miscarriage, infertility, and/or post partum depression. I am so sorry that you also have had to go through this pain. I know that it is a hard course that mother nature gives us women, but I also know that when we get through these trials that we become better and a much stronger women. Please do not feel guilty that you may have to seek help from the medical professionals. They are there to help us become healthy and well again and will look for our best interest.
I am working on becoming better and look forward to trying to have another baby again, selling our condo, and looing toward the future for myself and my family.
I felt like my world around me was falling apart and I was falling apart. I was watching all the medical bills adding up as if I had a complete delivery but no baby so then I felt bad for putting my family in a finacial stress over nothing, the condo has not sold and therefore I was losing hope that it will ever sell, it felt like Chris found more reasons to be away from home and work more than wanting to be at home, spritual things would not make me feel better; like I attended the temple 4 weeks after the miscarriage and even though it was good to go I felt disappointed that I did not get the clarity that I was hoping for (now I realize that I probably put the bar to high and expected too much too soon), I even found church hymns and sacrament talks to tear me up then help me.
I had started reading the Book of Mormon and praying but have not found a passage yet that gives me the enlightenment and the peace that I desire, but I know as I keep reading that I will find it.
This last fast Sunday, I decide to have a fast for myself with a preisthood blessing following it. The blessing did not give me the answers but did tell me that I will get to hold my baby girl in my arms when I get to the other side of the vail, and that I would also know the path in which I needed to proceed to get happy agian.
I have been feeling for a few weeks to make an appointment to talk with my family practice Dr. who I love and she is also LDS, and talk with her about what has been going on with me both physically and emotionally and see what she thought. After talking with her about how hard this has been on my, the physically I did not feel like I was getting better, I was feeling tired and un-motviated to do more then I had to, work was stressful, I tear up easily and was hormonal, I had alot of self-doubt and guilt. I was not sure what she would do; if she would tell me that it was normal to still feel the way that I do and give it more time, to put me on provera to stop the bleeding, or put me on a anti-depressant.
She decided to put me on both drugs for a little while and I can tell you that after a week and a half on both drugs; the bleeding finally stopped and I am find that I am smiling more, willing to clean more of my house, get out side and finding enjoyment reading my scriptures again. I know that I still have a long way to go where I still need to want to exercise and also find the peace and come to terms of what happend but I know that I am pointing in the right direction.
Post-partum depression can happen to anyone who has a pregnacy end no matter how, when or why. It is partly due to the dramatic change in the hormone level and the body adjusting to the "new normal". Some women can get as far as to wanting to hurt themselves or their children, but I have been blessed enough that that has not happended to me. I am greatful to Heavenly Father that helped me know how to feel better and get me to the things like my dr. to get me feeling better.
If any of you ever experience a miscarriage, infertility, and/or post partum depression. I am so sorry that you also have had to go through this pain. I know that it is a hard course that mother nature gives us women, but I also know that when we get through these trials that we become better and a much stronger women. Please do not feel guilty that you may have to seek help from the medical professionals. They are there to help us become healthy and well again and will look for our best interest.
I am working on becoming better and look forward to trying to have another baby again, selling our condo, and looing toward the future for myself and my family.
Monday, February 7, 2011
ZiGgLeS: Welcome!
ZiGgLeS: Welcome!: "I've finally gotten around to setting up a Blog for my Ziggles Pendant shop. I started making scrabble tile pendants this past summer and ..."
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Emma Smith and some other thoughts.
I first want to thank all of you of our friends and families that have kept me in your thoughts and prayers during this difficult time in my life. Your kind words and thoughts have been so nice and I am grateful to all of your friendships and love.
A week after the miscarriage which my Dr. was allowing to happen naturally, my bleeding did not improve and I was getting terrible headaches everyday, craving high iron foods, and lacked energy; I went back in to see my Dr. He suggested that I should get a D&C done. I agreed and the next day, I was at St. Marks Hospital having a D&C done. It made the headaches go away, I no longer was craving high iron foods, but I still am experiencing post-par tum symptoms both physically and emotionally. Physically, it is getting there but has been a slow and annoying issue; and emotionally, I am working on it but realize that it is a process that will take awhile. There are some days that I am OK, others (like today) where I am not, and other days where it depends on the moment. I have been reading my scriptures, read my patriarch blessing, been ready many ensign & conference talks,I have visited the temple recently and I have read 2 books about miscarriages and losing children that have given me things to think about and to give me direction of how to gain peace with the miscarriage and start to have hope in the future for myself and my family. I have also spent time having a conversation with a wonderful friend (you know who you are), that has been through this trial before and has offered kind words of encouragement and love.
The day that I was having the D&C done, I was a "add on" the the schedule and they were trying to fit me in. I called the hospital that morning and I was told to be there at 10:30 in the morning for registration and that the surgery would happen sometime after 12pm. It did not happen til 2pm so I spent sometime in a room dressed and ready to go. While I was in this room, I had turned the TV on to help me feel entertained during the waiting period. I ended up on the BYU-TV channel and playing was "The Work and the Glory 1". I watched it til they came to get me. Because of being able to watch the beginning of this movie, I got thinking about it often and pulled out the 3 disk series out of storage and watched it all since then. It got me think of Emma Smith. Emma Smith was the wife of Joseph Smith the Prophet of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and who helped restore the gospel to the earth. During her lifetime, she experienced many trials and heartaches. She lost many children to illnesses and probably had miscarriages as well, she was without he husband often due to church business or when he was in prion, and eventually became a widow. I remember one event that one of her adopted twin boy was sick and Joseph was tarred and feathered and within a few days, that boy died from exposure to the elements of the weather when he was already sick. Joseph was unable to save their son from death even as a prophet. I am sure that she questioned why he was not capable but most likely was reassured by Joseph that death was the Lords will. (I had Chris give me a blessing before we went to the Er and I was not told that I would lose or keep the baby but Heavenly Father would be with me though it, and I knew that I would or did lose the baby.) Even though she experienced all these trails and heartaches, she still was able to find her peace and became a great lady who helped in the events of the restoration of the church.
I am still searching and praying for my own understanding and peace. I know where to find it and that is where I seek it and I do have hope and faith that I will one day receive it. I am not sure what is in the future of my family. If we will be able to have another child, if we will be able to sell our condo, or have some other things happen that we desire. But I do have faith and hope that everything will work out the way they are suppose to and in it own time.
If you see me and I cry, please just hug me and give me the time that I need to work through this. I am grateful to all of you.
A week after the miscarriage which my Dr. was allowing to happen naturally, my bleeding did not improve and I was getting terrible headaches everyday, craving high iron foods, and lacked energy; I went back in to see my Dr. He suggested that I should get a D&C done. I agreed and the next day, I was at St. Marks Hospital having a D&C done. It made the headaches go away, I no longer was craving high iron foods, but I still am experiencing post-par tum symptoms both physically and emotionally. Physically, it is getting there but has been a slow and annoying issue; and emotionally, I am working on it but realize that it is a process that will take awhile. There are some days that I am OK, others (like today) where I am not, and other days where it depends on the moment. I have been reading my scriptures, read my patriarch blessing, been ready many ensign & conference talks,I have visited the temple recently and I have read 2 books about miscarriages and losing children that have given me things to think about and to give me direction of how to gain peace with the miscarriage and start to have hope in the future for myself and my family. I have also spent time having a conversation with a wonderful friend (you know who you are), that has been through this trial before and has offered kind words of encouragement and love.
The day that I was having the D&C done, I was a "add on" the the schedule and they were trying to fit me in. I called the hospital that morning and I was told to be there at 10:30 in the morning for registration and that the surgery would happen sometime after 12pm. It did not happen til 2pm so I spent sometime in a room dressed and ready to go. While I was in this room, I had turned the TV on to help me feel entertained during the waiting period. I ended up on the BYU-TV channel and playing was "The Work and the Glory 1". I watched it til they came to get me. Because of being able to watch the beginning of this movie, I got thinking about it often and pulled out the 3 disk series out of storage and watched it all since then. It got me think of Emma Smith. Emma Smith was the wife of Joseph Smith the Prophet of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and who helped restore the gospel to the earth. During her lifetime, she experienced many trials and heartaches. She lost many children to illnesses and probably had miscarriages as well, she was without he husband often due to church business or when he was in prion, and eventually became a widow. I remember one event that one of her adopted twin boy was sick and Joseph was tarred and feathered and within a few days, that boy died from exposure to the elements of the weather when he was already sick. Joseph was unable to save their son from death even as a prophet. I am sure that she questioned why he was not capable but most likely was reassured by Joseph that death was the Lords will. (I had Chris give me a blessing before we went to the Er and I was not told that I would lose or keep the baby but Heavenly Father would be with me though it, and I knew that I would or did lose the baby.) Even though she experienced all these trails and heartaches, she still was able to find her peace and became a great lady who helped in the events of the restoration of the church.
I am still searching and praying for my own understanding and peace. I know where to find it and that is where I seek it and I do have hope and faith that I will one day receive it. I am not sure what is in the future of my family. If we will be able to have another child, if we will be able to sell our condo, or have some other things happen that we desire. But I do have faith and hope that everything will work out the way they are suppose to and in it own time.
If you see me and I cry, please just hug me and give me the time that I need to work through this. I am grateful to all of you.
Sunday, January 9, 2011
My First Miscarriage
My husband and I learned the day after Christmas that we were to be expecting our 4Th and last baby. After 8 months of trying then a 6 month break and we just started to Clomid right after Thanksgiving, we were thrilled to learned that a baby that was suppose to be apart of our family finally was coming to join us.
I was starting to feel morning sickness and other symptoms. I switched OBGYN and had y first appointment with a ultra sound for Thursday January 6, 2011. I also was feeling proud of myself that I was able to keep up on my walking routine even if I did not work out as long as I normally would do.
Tuesday came with nothing in the ordinary except for the fact that I would have to go to my graveyard shift and I did feel tired, but I still managed to walk for 1/2 hr with Leslie Sansone and do some laundry and other chores around the condo. After dinner however, I started to feel this pain in my pelvic area that maid me feel like I was doubled over in pain not to wear my pants. I took some Tylenol and still went to work. I eventually thought that it could be constipation and maybe I would feel better after I rested a bit when I got off my shift. It continued through out the night and a one point of the night it felt like a regular interval of gas that was trying to leave my body but it hurt my pelvic area more. I mention it to another co-worker who is also expecting but she said that it might be normal and I would be fine. Somewhere in the back of my mind I was thinking it could be the beginning of a miscarriage and knew there would be nothing I could do to stop it so I just tried to keep a prayer in my heart in hopes that it was not me losing the baby. Latter on in the morning the pain was getting so unbearable that I called Chris to tell him that it was still bothering me and to bring me a Lortab when he brought the kids in the area for Preschool. The Lortab made me feel better and I was able to finish the rest of my shift. When my shift came to a end I really wanted some Beef with Broccoli so we stopped at Panda for some, that way I could eat lunch and lay down the rest of the day.
When we got home, the pain started back up, so I told Chris that I would use the bathroom and change into some comfy clothes and then I would come back to each lunch. While I went to the bathroom, I found lots of blood on a pad that I felt to put on over night. I decide to take another test which said I was still pregnant but I was bleeding heavy by then. I laid on the bed and called the OBGYN's nurse. They told me to go to the ER immediately. I yelled down that hall for Chris in tears and told him we had to stop everything and take me to the ER. I frantically tried my mom to come watch the kids and finally got her after 5 tries. I collapsed on the floor crying and saying that I did not want to lose the baby and saying I did not understand why this was happening to us when getting pregnant is so difficult for us. When I talk to my mom, it was the first time that I had told her that I was pregnant. I only had know for a week and a half.
In the car I cried the whole way up to the Er. When we got to St. Marks Er, I went to the check in desk and told the lady in tears that I was 5 1/2 weeks pregnant and I was having a possible miscarriage. After talking with her and then the registration lady they had me sit in the waiting room. I cried and felt numb. They finally after 10 long minutes took me to a room. They hooked me up on a IV right away asked me questions about when was my last period, how far along I was, my symptoms, level of pain and blood type (they were surprise to know that I knew that I am O positive). After several minutes a Dr. came and talk to me and a tech took me down for a ultra sound. They said nothing except asking me if I was OK. I was cold from the IV and lack of sleep plus scared so I could not stop shivering. They took me back to me room and left me there for a 1 1/2 before anyone came back to talk to me. They took a urine sample and gave me a pelvic exam. I started to get a headache and felt like I was going to throw up. The Dr. finally came back in and told me that yes I was pregnant but my hormone level was too low and that i was off on my dates. They told me that there was 3 possible outcomes; 1). I was still pregnant 2). it was a ectopic pregnancy 3). a miscarriage. They sent me home and told me to still see my OBGYN the next day as planned and told me to take it easy for the next couple of days and took me off work.
Thursday came and at the OBGYN I learned nothing new then what I had learned the day before. He told me that I needed to back to the Hospital on Friday and have a repeated blood test. He said if my hormone doubled I was still pregnant and if it stayed the same or was lower it would be a miscarriage.
On Friday, I was still having a bad headache and Lortab and Ibuprofen was not helping. I went to see my regular dr. She said that I needed to be on bed rest through the weekend and to switch what I was drinking (water to Gatorade) just in case I was bleeding too much or getting dehydrated during the miscarriage process.I went to the Lab later that afternoon. The nurse called and told me that my number was dropping which is consistant to a miscarriage. She said to stay resting through the weekend as well, and to come in weekly for a blood test so they can follow my hormone level til it gets to zero.
I feel helpless, sad, numb, beside myself. I am not sure why this has happened to me. I have had many people offer their condolences which is nice. Others have told me they have been through the same thing and understand how I feel. It is nice that people are sharing their stories with me, but it still does not replace the pain and sorrow that I am feeling. It does not bring a baby back. I want to carry this baby, feel the baby move, hold this baby as newborn. have pictures and memories, I was hugs and kisses that I will never have. Some people have told me it is better to lose the baby now then later, and although their words are true and they try to be helpful, I still feel grief and pain. My body is going through post-partum as if I had a baby but there is no baby, no flowers, no gifts, just tears. Some articles that I read said to help with the grieving phase is to frame the ultra sound pic or hold a memento of the baby lost. I never made it to a ultra sound so there is no pictures or anything to keep. I never thought that because I have difficulty getting pregnant that I ever would have to worry about a miscarriage, now I do. We had not told very many people yet that I was expecting because we wanted to wait until the Dr's appointment to make sure everything was OK. I did not expect that I would have to tell people that I was expecting by telling them that I had a miscarriage instead. It has been no fun laying around the house the last several days and not being able to exercise, getting out of the house, going to church to start my emotional healing. The night of the miscarriage the twins were suppose to go to their first birthday party for a close family friend, and they had to miss it because I was at the Er., and I feel bad. I have had to miss work and my boss was planning on taking Friday off and I ruined those plans. I have not been able to take care of my family, or clean my house and sometimes I feel like I should not cry. I've ruined plans, made family feel like they should take care of me, I feel like a burden.
The only thing that is helping me through this miscarriage, is the knowledge that my faith in my Savior gives me. I know that because my husband and I were married in the temple and our family is sealed together that this baby that was taken away early before its birth and returned back to Heavenly Father, will still indeed be my child. I may not understand the reasons why Heavenly Father has this little baby return back home to him and the purpose this baby has in Heavenly Fathers' plan but I know that Heavenly Father will comfort me and heal my heart and I know someday if I keep my covenants that I have made I will see me baby.
I don't know if or when we will try to have another child or if it is even possible, but I do know that I am so blessed to have my twins Matthew and Ashleigh and my baby Joshua plus my little baby inside of me for 5 1/2 weeks. I love being a mom and I love my children. They bless my life everyday and I would not want my life to be any different.
I know this post is sad and heartbreaking but this is for my healing and memory. May Heavenly Father be with us and help us through our griefs and sorrows, and shout for our joys.
I was starting to feel morning sickness and other symptoms. I switched OBGYN and had y first appointment with a ultra sound for Thursday January 6, 2011. I also was feeling proud of myself that I was able to keep up on my walking routine even if I did not work out as long as I normally would do.
Tuesday came with nothing in the ordinary except for the fact that I would have to go to my graveyard shift and I did feel tired, but I still managed to walk for 1/2 hr with Leslie Sansone and do some laundry and other chores around the condo. After dinner however, I started to feel this pain in my pelvic area that maid me feel like I was doubled over in pain not to wear my pants. I took some Tylenol and still went to work. I eventually thought that it could be constipation and maybe I would feel better after I rested a bit when I got off my shift. It continued through out the night and a one point of the night it felt like a regular interval of gas that was trying to leave my body but it hurt my pelvic area more. I mention it to another co-worker who is also expecting but she said that it might be normal and I would be fine. Somewhere in the back of my mind I was thinking it could be the beginning of a miscarriage and knew there would be nothing I could do to stop it so I just tried to keep a prayer in my heart in hopes that it was not me losing the baby. Latter on in the morning the pain was getting so unbearable that I called Chris to tell him that it was still bothering me and to bring me a Lortab when he brought the kids in the area for Preschool. The Lortab made me feel better and I was able to finish the rest of my shift. When my shift came to a end I really wanted some Beef with Broccoli so we stopped at Panda for some, that way I could eat lunch and lay down the rest of the day.
When we got home, the pain started back up, so I told Chris that I would use the bathroom and change into some comfy clothes and then I would come back to each lunch. While I went to the bathroom, I found lots of blood on a pad that I felt to put on over night. I decide to take another test which said I was still pregnant but I was bleeding heavy by then. I laid on the bed and called the OBGYN's nurse. They told me to go to the ER immediately. I yelled down that hall for Chris in tears and told him we had to stop everything and take me to the ER. I frantically tried my mom to come watch the kids and finally got her after 5 tries. I collapsed on the floor crying and saying that I did not want to lose the baby and saying I did not understand why this was happening to us when getting pregnant is so difficult for us. When I talk to my mom, it was the first time that I had told her that I was pregnant. I only had know for a week and a half.
In the car I cried the whole way up to the Er. When we got to St. Marks Er, I went to the check in desk and told the lady in tears that I was 5 1/2 weeks pregnant and I was having a possible miscarriage. After talking with her and then the registration lady they had me sit in the waiting room. I cried and felt numb. They finally after 10 long minutes took me to a room. They hooked me up on a IV right away asked me questions about when was my last period, how far along I was, my symptoms, level of pain and blood type (they were surprise to know that I knew that I am O positive). After several minutes a Dr. came and talk to me and a tech took me down for a ultra sound. They said nothing except asking me if I was OK. I was cold from the IV and lack of sleep plus scared so I could not stop shivering. They took me back to me room and left me there for a 1 1/2 before anyone came back to talk to me. They took a urine sample and gave me a pelvic exam. I started to get a headache and felt like I was going to throw up. The Dr. finally came back in and told me that yes I was pregnant but my hormone level was too low and that i was off on my dates. They told me that there was 3 possible outcomes; 1). I was still pregnant 2). it was a ectopic pregnancy 3). a miscarriage. They sent me home and told me to still see my OBGYN the next day as planned and told me to take it easy for the next couple of days and took me off work.
Thursday came and at the OBGYN I learned nothing new then what I had learned the day before. He told me that I needed to back to the Hospital on Friday and have a repeated blood test. He said if my hormone doubled I was still pregnant and if it stayed the same or was lower it would be a miscarriage.
On Friday, I was still having a bad headache and Lortab and Ibuprofen was not helping. I went to see my regular dr. She said that I needed to be on bed rest through the weekend and to switch what I was drinking (water to Gatorade) just in case I was bleeding too much or getting dehydrated during the miscarriage process.I went to the Lab later that afternoon. The nurse called and told me that my number was dropping which is consistant to a miscarriage. She said to stay resting through the weekend as well, and to come in weekly for a blood test so they can follow my hormone level til it gets to zero.
I feel helpless, sad, numb, beside myself. I am not sure why this has happened to me. I have had many people offer their condolences which is nice. Others have told me they have been through the same thing and understand how I feel. It is nice that people are sharing their stories with me, but it still does not replace the pain and sorrow that I am feeling. It does not bring a baby back. I want to carry this baby, feel the baby move, hold this baby as newborn. have pictures and memories, I was hugs and kisses that I will never have. Some people have told me it is better to lose the baby now then later, and although their words are true and they try to be helpful, I still feel grief and pain. My body is going through post-partum as if I had a baby but there is no baby, no flowers, no gifts, just tears. Some articles that I read said to help with the grieving phase is to frame the ultra sound pic or hold a memento of the baby lost. I never made it to a ultra sound so there is no pictures or anything to keep. I never thought that because I have difficulty getting pregnant that I ever would have to worry about a miscarriage, now I do. We had not told very many people yet that I was expecting because we wanted to wait until the Dr's appointment to make sure everything was OK. I did not expect that I would have to tell people that I was expecting by telling them that I had a miscarriage instead. It has been no fun laying around the house the last several days and not being able to exercise, getting out of the house, going to church to start my emotional healing. The night of the miscarriage the twins were suppose to go to their first birthday party for a close family friend, and they had to miss it because I was at the Er., and I feel bad. I have had to miss work and my boss was planning on taking Friday off and I ruined those plans. I have not been able to take care of my family, or clean my house and sometimes I feel like I should not cry. I've ruined plans, made family feel like they should take care of me, I feel like a burden.
The only thing that is helping me through this miscarriage, is the knowledge that my faith in my Savior gives me. I know that because my husband and I were married in the temple and our family is sealed together that this baby that was taken away early before its birth and returned back to Heavenly Father, will still indeed be my child. I may not understand the reasons why Heavenly Father has this little baby return back home to him and the purpose this baby has in Heavenly Fathers' plan but I know that Heavenly Father will comfort me and heal my heart and I know someday if I keep my covenants that I have made I will see me baby.
I don't know if or when we will try to have another child or if it is even possible, but I do know that I am so blessed to have my twins Matthew and Ashleigh and my baby Joshua plus my little baby inside of me for 5 1/2 weeks. I love being a mom and I love my children. They bless my life everyday and I would not want my life to be any different.
I know this post is sad and heartbreaking but this is for my healing and memory. May Heavenly Father be with us and help us through our griefs and sorrows, and shout for our joys.
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Christmas 2010
Our family had a busy but enjoyable Christmas. It all started with Christmas Eve. We first went to my husbands' Grandparents Smiths home. They have a big production with food, a talent show, nativity/reading of the Christmas Story, singing Christmas songs and playing a with Chimes.
This is my mother-in-law and sister-in-law playing a flute/violin duet.
My husbands' cousin Nathan playing and singing a song that he wrote.
My husbands' Uncle Ryan telling a story.
The great-grandchildren preform the nativity as the Christmas story was being read and Christmas songs being sung.
Then in the evening we went to my parents for dinner and to open presents. It was fun to see my kids and my niece Willow playing together.
All four kids opening a family gift.
Joshua got a truck.
Ashleigh got a Toy Story 3 barbie.
Matthew got a transformer.
We came home and got cookies and hot chocolate for Santa and carrots for the reindeer and just in case a elf or dog "puppie paws" came with Santa some milk out for their visit. We also left our sliding door unlocked so Santa could come in because we have no fireplace.
When Christmas came, Matthew and Joshua got up at 3am and saw that Santa had come. They were so excited that they got p and started playing with their toys that they were found in their room playing with the toys they had gotten from Christmas Eve. We were able to get them back to bed.
Christmas morning came and I got a pic of the kids before they opened their presents.
From Santa, the children got some games like; Toy Story 3 yatzee and connect 4 and a few movies and puzzles. Ashleigh got a music player with songs she likes to listen to loaded on to it, Matthew got a bumble bee transformer, and Joshua got a buzzlightyear. Chris found a used WII with a couple of fun games for the family to play really cheap.
For breakfast we made pull-aparts or sticky buns which is his family's tradition, cinnamon rolls, eggs, turkey bacon, sausage, orange juice, egg nog, and hot chocolate. My parents came over in the morning and then we went to his parents for Christmas dinner.
They day after Christmas, we found out that we are expecting our 4th baby.
We hope that you all had a wonderful Christmas. The things that was nice that we got for Christmas is the games, puzzles and movies that we can do together and spend time as a family. Spending time together as a family is the best Christmas present that we could ever receive.
This is my mother-in-law and sister-in-law playing a flute/violin duet.
My husbands' cousin Nathan playing and singing a song that he wrote.
My husbands' Uncle Ryan telling a story.
The great-grandchildren preform the nativity as the Christmas story was being read and Christmas songs being sung.
Then in the evening we went to my parents for dinner and to open presents. It was fun to see my kids and my niece Willow playing together.
All four kids opening a family gift.
Joshua got a truck.
Ashleigh got a Toy Story 3 barbie.
Matthew got a transformer.
We came home and got cookies and hot chocolate for Santa and carrots for the reindeer and just in case a elf or dog "puppie paws" came with Santa some milk out for their visit. We also left our sliding door unlocked so Santa could come in because we have no fireplace.
When Christmas came, Matthew and Joshua got up at 3am and saw that Santa had come. They were so excited that they got p and started playing with their toys that they were found in their room playing with the toys they had gotten from Christmas Eve. We were able to get them back to bed.
Christmas morning came and I got a pic of the kids before they opened their presents.
From Santa, the children got some games like; Toy Story 3 yatzee and connect 4 and a few movies and puzzles. Ashleigh got a music player with songs she likes to listen to loaded on to it, Matthew got a bumble bee transformer, and Joshua got a buzzlightyear. Chris found a used WII with a couple of fun games for the family to play really cheap.
For breakfast we made pull-aparts or sticky buns which is his family's tradition, cinnamon rolls, eggs, turkey bacon, sausage, orange juice, egg nog, and hot chocolate. My parents came over in the morning and then we went to his parents for Christmas dinner.
They day after Christmas, we found out that we are expecting our 4th baby.
We hope that you all had a wonderful Christmas. The things that was nice that we got for Christmas is the games, puzzles and movies that we can do together and spend time as a family. Spending time together as a family is the best Christmas present that we could ever receive.
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