Movember

I've had many beards and so I am no stranger to mustaches either, but all my mustaches have been the last standing remnants of a previously bearded kingdom. In other words I have never grown just a mustache without a beard. I decided to correct this glaring omission on my part during last month's Movember festivities. I shaved the first day of the month and then I didn't shave my upper lip for the remainder. Here is the obligatory time lapse of the month's proceedings:

As you can see, it was a strange and wonderful trip and I've learned a lot. Mostly that nothing makes people question you and your well-being more than having a bonafide mustache. And the looks from women? I think you must mean the no looks from women! Even more than usual. I don't blame them, especially when the face furniture is just moving in and hasn't really found its place yet, but I have no regrets. Only those who have worn the lip rug can understand and judge me.

Happy Movember everyone! For some of you, maybe you're happier that it is now over.

Movie Review "Interstellar"

In this movie Matthew McConaughey plays some sort of super astronaut. I mean, thats great casting that provides ample opportunity for an actor's iconic catch phrase in a perfectly suited role. Knowing that, how many times do you think he says "alright, alright, alright" during shuttle takeoffs? By my count there are 4 or maybe 5 different takeoffs in the movie so that provides ample opportunities for Matt to speak his expected lines. Plus, who says he has to say it during a takeoff? I mean, exploring the furthest reaches of space is fertile ground with an expression like that. And yet, somehow, he never utters it once. Thats about as disappointing as going to an Arnold Schwarzenegger movie and not hearing him say "I'll be back". Christopher Nolan has been described as an overly serious, joyless director before (at least by me), but this is perhaps the most damning evidence. How many times do you think that he had to tell Mr. McConaughey to knock it off with the "alright, alright, alright" stuff? Dozens? Hopefully dozens. Probably had to keep reminding him to put his shirt back on too. Despite this unfortunate negligence, the movie turns out, yep, you guessed it, pretty "alright, alright, alright".

Nieces retake the lead

The nephews made a great comeback and tied it up after going down 3 to 1, but the nieces have pulled ahead again with the birth of this one a few weeks ago.

How will the nephews respond? Its hard to say, especially since they are split between two families where they are outnumbered by the nieces in one, but are double the number of nieces in the other. In either scenario, everyone is in good hands so even if these number imbalances have any effect, I am sure they will be negligible. The point is...welcome to the family kiddo!

*BONUS*

Like a grade school math problem, all the information you need to decipher how many nephews and nieces I have in each of my brothers' families has been provided. Can you figure it out?

Not sure this is really a museum, but thats what its called

Most people see an abandoned shoe factory and figure that unless some horror movies need a location for filming, it should probably be torn down to make way for something else. Bob Cassilly saw one and figured he could make a giant playground out of it and call it a museum. And so the City Museum was born!

City Museum is a collection of a lot of things you might see on a normal playground combined with architectural flair and presented in the biggest and sometimes strangest or most random ways. Giant slides? You bet! Including a 10-story spiral slide (not pictured, because you can't effectively capture a 10-story slide in a single picture with your phone).

Slides, even big ones, might sound pretty normal, but don't be fooled, not everything there is expected. Like an entirely man-made cavernous cave, complete with tunnels to crawl around (and get stuck) in.

And a seemingly unlimited number of suspended tunnels to crawl around in and bruise your knees on.

Also giant bird cages or maybe they are just regular, giant cages. Either way, you crawl around and climb in them too.

While not a structural wonder, there are also funky chairs that you virtually cannot fall out of.

There's even a Ferris wheel on the roof that might actually be the best Ferris wheel I have ever been on. For the record, I think I have been on at least 5, maybe 6, Ferris wheels in my life and can remember almost nothing about them except maybe where they were located, but this one I have a fresh recollection of...for now. Plus, I was riding on it with 2 girls.

Yep, the City Museum is a pretty random, but fun place. You walk out of there with a perfect reminder of how old you are, but you are also covered with bruises and tears in your clothing. You are pretty content though too. You'd expect something weird like this in maybe a place like Portland, but St. Louis? In the true spirit of wild, oddball, unexpectedness it somehow makes sense.

Gateway Arch

Looking to get some attention for your city? You could always try building a ridiculously huge, and largely impractical structure. Not only is it a good way to show Mother Nature that she's not the only one that can make big things, but people love jumbo-sized stuff. The ancient Egyptians knew it. Installation artists know it. Now you know it. Take the city of St. Louis as an example, they built an enormous arch right on the mighty Mississippi and, by gum, it put them on the map!

The Gateway Arch was completed and opened to the public back in 1967 as a monument to the westward expansion of the United States. It was designed by the one and only Eero Saarinen, and when you've got an original Eero in your city, you know you're doing something right. It is the tallest man-made monument in the western hemisphere which makes it a perfect backdrop for almost anywhere you might find yourself in the city.

The Arch isn't just for scenery. You can also go right up to it where almost any attempts to photograph it will leave it virtually unidentifiable, but that sort of makes it better and more artsy, right?

You can even walk right up to it and touch it.

This is almost certainly good luck so be sure to really get the most of it and then sit back for all the good fortune that awaits you.

If all of that is not enough, then go to the top of the arch. You get to ride in a super cramped little pod that amazingly looks bigger in a picture than it actually is. Oh, there are seats for 5 people in each pod.

Once at the top you can look down at what is probably the best view of the city.

Yep, over-sized structures are definitely the way to go. It doesn't have to be an arch, but as the "gateway to the west", a giant arch was fitting for St. Louis. 

Climate change and redhead genetics

Climate change debates have never concerned me very much. Seems to me that whether human behavior is contributing to climate change or not, we should probably be smart with natural resources and do our best to take care of the planet anyway. Nevertheless, when you make crazy claims you get my attention. Stating that climate change will lead to the extinction of redheads qualifies as a crazy claim.

A better understanding of redheads might help explain why this is a crazy claim.

Red hair is the least common natural hair color with less than 2% of the world's population being a redhead. There is no single "redhead gene", but about 80% of redheads have mutations in the melanocotin-1 receptor (MC1R) gene which helps regulate the conversion of pheomelanin, a lighter pigment with a reddish and yellow color, into eumelanin, a darker pigment that is brownish or black in color. These mutations result in more pheomelanin and hence, red hair, or at least more reddish hair. While its hard to say when these mutations first arose, it is estimated that some of them first occurred 20,000 to 100,000 years ago and even neanderthals are thought to have had red hair at some frequency.

So why would redheads be in any danger, especially because of climate change? That has to do with the fairer, more pale skin that redheads often have which is another result of the abundance of pheomelanin. Such skin is far more prone to damage from the sun and that seems to be the crux of this crazy claim. To be fair, it is not completely without merit when you consider that more redheads are found in climates that are generally darker and colder (where their fair skin may be advantageous). The world's largest redhead population is found in Scotland, a place not exactly known for bright sunshine, where about 13% of the country's population have red hair. Meanwhile, Africa, with its punishing sun, seems to be nearly devoid of redheads. So if climate change results in higher temperatures, more sun, and just an overall more Africa-like climate for the whole world then redheads will be at a disadvantage right? Not so fast! Even though it may seem like red hair is some sort of environmental adaptation and could be affected by climate change, this argument depends on redheads being less able to reproduce, presumably because the rising temperatures will increase their rates of getting skin cancer or other problems that may prevent them from having babies. Such negative selection possibly existed in more ancient populations, but nowadays we have such wonderful inventions like clothing, hats, sunscreen, and the indoors that make the extreme damaging effects of the sun less likely to increase redhead mortality rates at earlier ages moreso than any other hair color. Plus, there is another explanation for why red hair frequencies are different between populations. It probably has less to do with environmental adaptation and can be better explained by founder effects and geographic isolation, where red hair mutations were present in an appreciable percentage of the initial inhabitants of that area. This seems especially applicable to an island population like Scotland or even the rest of the British Isles, where redheads are also more numerous. Lastly, even if redheads were in trouble because of rising temperatures, the red hair mutations would probably remain in the gene pool for quite some time since these mutations are recessive, which means that even people without red hair may be carriers of red hair mutations and would not be selected against by the scorching sun. So I am pretty skeptical of this crazy claim. I mean, besides all the scientific reasoning, at the end of the day, here's why redheads are in no danger:

Because redheads can look like this! Yep, just like blondes and brunettes, redheads can be gorgeous too and combined with their rarity, that makes them pretty special. Certainly there is unfair "gingerism" now and throughout history which inappropriately labels redheads as "gingers" and acts as though they are soulless deviants, but this appears to mostly apply to males with red hair while redheaded women are to be sought after. Any potential negative selection from such cultural attitudes or even the sun seem to be largely minor when compared to the possible positive selection from the desirability of an attractive person with red hair. As long as this remains true, I don't think redheads have anything to worry about, with or without climate change.

Nothing beats the Tyrannosaurus rex

Here is something I never thought anyone would ever say:

"Compared with many other dinosaurs, T. rex are pretty overrated."

Really? These guys?

The author of this statement then offered 7 dinosaurs (genera, to be more exact) that somehow were suppose to be better or more interesting than Tyrannosaurus rex. Obviously, not a single member of this list compares to the original king of the jungle, but lets take a look anyway.

Vulcanodon 

Yep, a long neck somehow was on a list of "Dinosaurs that are cooler than Tyrannosaurus rex". No, that doesn't make sense. I mean sure, giraffes are cute, but cooler than a lion? Of course not. This isn't even an Apatosaurus or Brachiosaurus. Nope, its a rather small and generic sauropod (standing maybe a bit taller than a human). Thats like saying a cow is cool, but not referencing actually impressive breeds of cattle like Highland cattle or a Texas Longhorn. Even if you did, your argument would still not be a strong one when compared to ol' T. rex. Its name does mean "volcano tooth" which as best I can tell, is the best thing it has going for it.

Archaeopteryx

Ok, these little feathered dinosaurs are neat as they help point out that when you look at birds today, you are basically looking at modern dinosaurs, but these are still basically ancient chickens with little teeth. Given the chance of having one of these perch on your shoulder or riding a T. rex, pretty sure saddling up the T. rex wins every time.

Stygimoloch

Another dinosaur with a cool name which means "demon from Styx" (probably referring to the mythological Grecian river and not that legendary band) and it has cool horns on its head. It is a pachycephalosaur which might make you think it hit things with its head which sounds pretty interesting, but Stygi's domed head is a bit smaller and such displays were likely less common so it's sort of like a dino with a samurai sword (cool), but it never uses it (not cool) and even if it did, it would likely break the sword (also not cool).

Khaan

While it is great to have a name that immediately references one of the most iconic scene from all of Star Trek, make no mistake, this is a big turkey. No one, save maybe Benjamin Franklin, has ever thought turkeys were cool. Tasty? Yes. Interesting? No.  

Parasaurolophus

I'll admit, I used to really like these guys, but that was mainly because I saw a cool drawing of a mutant one with a submachine gun in a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles book, but now I know that they rarely handled firearms and probably were not that cool. They do have a neat crest on their head, but nobody knows what its for, with the most popular theories having to do with sexual displays, thermoregulation, and acoustic resonance. Hopefully its that last one, and they just sounded like an orchestra that consisted of nothing but blown conch shells, otherwise its a pretty lame duck dino (see this is funny because it is a hadrosaurid, otherwise known as a duck-bill dinosaur).

Anklyosaurus

Sometimes referred to as little tanks, these guys can be pretty cool and are clearly the best contender to T. rex on this entire list. They are sort of cut from the same cloth as Triceratops or Stegosaurus because of the obvious defensive adaptations they have, but we all know that while defense can be appreciated and even generate some highlights, its offense that fills stadiums and Sportscenter's top 10 every night. You know who brings the offense? Yep, T. rex.

Ichthyosaurs

This refers to a wide range of prehistoric marine reptiles, but not a single one of them is a dinosaur. These should not be on any dinosaur list so automatically these are not a more interesting or cool dinosaur.

Man, that list doesn't offer anything close to a serious threat to T. rex's throne. At least put a raptor on there or even some other tyrannosaurid species. Or simply don't challenge the mighty T. rex and leave this as a list of other dinosaurs that, while inferior to T. rex, are interesting in their own way. That was the biggest error on this list. Seriously, it is unlikely that anything could take the top spot from Tyrannosaurus rex. Just look at some of T. rex's finer characteristics:

• Predatory species will always be cooler than those that sit around chewing on plants (like the majority of the ones on this list) and T. rex was a possible apex predator! Sure, some people think that T. rex was possibly a scavenger which makes no real sense at all, but if its somehow true then T. rex was the biggest, strongest, and coolest looking vulture of all time.
• Despite what Jurassic Park would have you believe, T. rex actually had an incredible sense of sight. Some estimates have its visual acuity at 13 times that of man. By comparison an eagle's visual acuity is about 3.6 times that of a person. So way better than an eagle! Its senses of hearing and smell were also likely heightened.
• T. rex was so bloodthirsty that it may have even preyed on its on kind. Evidence for cannibalism comes from finding bite marks that match T. rex's bite  on other T. rex so either they ate one another from time to time or they at least didn't take no guff from nobody, including their own kin (or like people, they were just jerks). Either way, thats pretty boss.
• A bite from a T. rex was likely one of the biggest and baddest bites imaginable. The amount of force that those chompers were capable of producing exceeds that of a great white shark and some estimates have it comparable to the bite of the largest of the ancient Megalodon sharks, which was like a really huge great white shark. This doesn't even take into the account the fact that accompanying that mighty maw were teeth that were like huge, sharp, pointy banana-daggers.
• As if the strongest bite on the block wasn't bad enough, a bite from T. rex may have been highly infectious. Sort of like the komodo dragons of today. Sure, most bites from any animal are possibly infectious, but still, has anyone looked into this for other dinos? No, because other dinos are not as intriguing as this one.
• It had adorable little arms, that may seem useless, but were actually rather strong and possibly held prey or perhaps loved ones when expressing love. Plus, those arms help lend themselves to fun visual jokes in today's joke filled internet and t-shirt age.
• You might argue that raptors were cooler because they were smart and stuff, but guess who else may have hunted in packs? Yep, T. rex were clever girls too. The only decent evidence for this is some recently found tracks that suggest pack like behavior. This is a bit controversial so maybe its not true and T. rex was a solitary lone wolf which is cool, but if it is true, can you imagine anything much better than a pack of T. rex working together to bring down the super-sized prey of their day? No, you can't.
• Not only is T. rex the real star (and icon) of all the Jurassic Park movies (except maybe the 3rd one where they put a Spinosaurus in there for some reason), but what does Grimlock, the leader of the dinobots turn into? Yep, you guessed it. Robot T. rex. Would it have made any sense for the leader of the dinobots to turn into any other dinosaur, especially any from this list? No, none whatsoever. Are they suitable as other, lesser members of the dinobots? Sure, knock yourself out, but the captain's chair is reserved for the T. Rex.  

It's little wonder that the Tyrannosaurus rex is the only dinosaur widely known by its full scientific name and is the most recognized dinosaur on the planet. 

Would dinosaurs even be popular without T. rex? Who knows? Lets just agree to stop pretending like any other dinosaur can compare and celebrate all dinosaurs without unfairly inflating their egos by suggesting that they are as good or even better than the "king tyrant lizard".

Movie Review "The Expendables 3"

No doubt that there is little room in today's world for the action movies of yesteryear. Thankfully Sly Stallone doesn't care and he continues to assemble all our favorite action heroes from the past into ridiculous, testosterone-fueled action movies. This remains a great idea and I expect to see it transfer to other genres at some point. For some reason though he sneaks in a few other folks too as if a team made up of just the action stars from the 80s and some of the 90s isn't enough. Most of these new additions are young guns, but not the actual young guns from Young Guns, which would be great, but rather they are dudes without rich action movie pedigrees. This is mostly a bad idea as we do not care at all about them and any time with them on screen is time we should be watching the others shoot big guns and make witty one liners. While plenty of nonsensical things happen in this movie, this remains the most perplexing thing about it. Well, that, or how on earth this wasn't made to be an R rated movie. Look, I don't mean to promote anything that results in a movie being rated R, but this movie not being R was a surprise, but since it wasn't, I got to go see a vision of what we all hope our retirements are like if we don't heed The Who's advice and die before we get old.

Movie Review "Guardians of the Galaxy"

There is a simple rule in life and that is you should always be yourself...unless you can be Batman, then always be Batman. This is despite the fact that Batman is the result of very severe early childhood trauma, not to mention numerous other tragedies later in life. Thats just a testament to how awesome Batman is. But what if early childhood trauma basically turned you into Han Solo? Wouldn't that be better? I mean, thats basically being as charming as Bruce Wayne and as cool as Batman all at once, but without any of the brooding or the crazy that follows Batman everywhere he goes. Plus, you'd have a spaceship and cool alien sidekicks. Less money though, and no grappling hook, but maybe some rocket boots or something. Seems pretty enviable. Thats basically what happened to Peter Quill, the star of this movie and his life seems pretty great. Great enough, that I think we have to seriously consider breaking the cardinal rule of always being Batman.

Down the Oregon coast

Everyone knows that I love the northwest and while my heart may be in Washington, I like Oregon too. Especially when I find myself staying in a beach house with this as my backyard.

I was there with my family, including all my nieces and nephews. You know, I hear parents sometimes comment that their kids are growing up too fast. Well a couple of my nieces and nephews are at just the perfect ages.

But when they wake you up in the middle of the night while you're crashing on a couch, you remember that growing up wouldn't be so awful either. Still we had lots of fun on the beach. Played some soccer. Ran in the surf. Collected shells. I was even their male muse while they sculpted me with sand.

They are all such artistic protégés that all of their sculptures were more symbolic, resembling castles rather than their uncle, but I am sure that was just to represent my apparent stalwartness and fortitude. We also summitted the nearest sand dune on the beach.

All while still having time to rev up the engines, just to listen to her howlin' roar.

Not everything we did was on the beach though. We took in some movies, which clearly enchanted everyone more than my phone.

Made a trip to a lighthouse and an aquarium.

Where we saw a few sea otters that attempted to challenge the red panda as the most adorable animal on the planet.

Of course, we also made a quick trip to Tillamook to sample some cheese. All in all, it was a great trip and my status as favorite uncle is secure.

At least as long as I'm the only uncle around...and I'm the one pressuring you to tell me who your favorite uncle is. Thanks to Mom and Dad for making everything possible and to every one else for coming along.