A quick hello

Yesterday I got the greatest text. A friend just wanted to say they were thinking of me and it made them smile.

Earlier this morning I said hello to a friend. I was trying to make plans to visit, but our busy schedules are causing some issues. However, we ended up briefly catching up over several texts. I saw some pics of her sweet boy and shared with her my plans for a half marathon. 

In this day and age where we all seem so "connected" by Facebook and Twitter we get a false sense of "keeping in touch". The last couple of days were a nice reminder what a quick hello or just a few minutes to catch up can mean. No relationship worth having ever suffered from a little personal touch.

Remember, those few minutes can positively impact the person on the receiving end.

The Strength of a Commitment

I try to keep politics off of this blog, but as the election is drawing closer I have a lot on my mind. One of the things that I am constantly thinking about are the four states with marriage equality initiatives on the ballot. Some states are trying to grant all citizens equal rights while other states are trying to take away rights. Moreover, we are faced with the choice of electing a president who says they support equal rights for all citizens, including those in the LGBT community, or a president who has said he supports a constitutional amendment to take away rights. What follows are just some of my thoughts on the issue.

The Strength of a Commitment

I have been with my boyfriend for nearly five years. We are not legally married, we are not even engaged. However, we are a committed and loving couple. I look at him some days and I am in awe of how much I can love one person. Other days I look at him and am enraged by how much I can love one person who drives me so unbelievably crazy. We are not perfect and I would never want someone to look at us as an example of a perfect couple (hint: there isn't one, they all have their problems). We have our ups and downs, our stresses and dreams, but we share it all. We live with our imperfections and strive to strengthen our relationship as we commit to one another and to the life we are building together.

However, when I say “my boyfriend” I get that brush off like our relationship isn't to be taken seriously. When I once referred to him as my partner I got the same type of brush off. We have chosen the life we live. Our choice is for reasons that some may disagree with, but they are our reasons and none of which have to do with how much we love each other or how committed we are to one another.

Fortunately for us, we are allowed to make this decision for ourselves. This is a freedom many, including me, have taken for granted. Unfortunately, I am saddened when I think of the hundreds of thousands of couples out there all across this country who are in just as committed relationships as my boyfriend and me with the decision made for them. They are told by their government and by other citizens (co-workers, neighbors, family members) they are wrong in the love they share with their partner, they are second-class citizens and can not share the same rights as others because of who they love, they are told their love means less than that of other couples. They are confined to the roles of boyfriend, girlfriend, and partner.

On a very personal level this is devastating to me. In a way, knowing that so many couples are prevented from legally making a commitment so they can share all the rights and benefits that come with marriage, lessens the true meaning of marriage. If I decided to marry tomorrow, how could I honestly believe that my marriage would mean anything more than couples who are just as committed as I am to my boyfriend, but just denied the right to make that commitment legal? I can't, and I wouldn't dare to make that comparison.

As a citizen of the United States of America, the discrimination of a group of individuals is devastating to the country as a whole. When did we decide that it was acceptable for lawmakers to determine that it is wrong for any two people who love each other to commit themselves to one another with equal recognition from the government? I am proud every time I hear of a new lawmaker taking a stand for equality. They will be the ones standing on the right side of this issue when future generations look at this civil rights fight and wonder why it was such a hard fought battle.

I believe that all humans should be given equal opportunities including the opportunity to commit themselves to the person they love with the same rights and protection under the government as every other person. Every couple should be given the opportunity to decide for themselves when they should marry and if they want to marry, not be told that they can't marry. No human, especially in America, should be discriminated against, ever! The day every single American is free to marry who they choose and where they choose, will be a beautiful day and will only strengthen the commitment I have made to the person I love and have chosen to spend my life with.

Hello again my love

I fell in love, really in love, for the first time over 12 years ago when I made my way to NYC. It was love at first sight. I was overwhelmed by its energy and the plethora of things I discovered at my fingertips. The city is majestic and strong, beautiful and hard. It will embrace everyone, but can give you a good kick in the butt. She is like the matriarch of a large (very, very large) family.

My time in New York opened my world to new adventures. I learned that I was strong and independent. I uncovered a passion for the fair and honorable treatment of others. I found that I loved experiencing food and the cultures it can expose you to. My views on faith and love were challenged and I learned that it was ok to question what you once believed. I learned that bruises faded, breaks would heal, and pain was never permanent. I grew up with NY, and after 4 years I guess I would say we grew apart. I needed something different. It is hard to explain what I needed, it wasn't something more or less, it was just something different.

I will often reflect on my time there with the shoulda, coulda, woulda I often associate with relationships and then get anxious and nervous when it is time to go back. I wonder how much may have changed and if I changed enough or too much. After being back in the city I always remember why I left.

Every year or two (sometimes more) I like to reacquaint myself with this place. This was one of those years. I went and stayed with my ex-roommate, Curtis. I am so proud of what he has accomplished. (You can find him on Huffington Post if you ever want to read something from one of my favorite writers/journalist.)

That Wednesday morning, my train from Providence arrived right on time. I made my way from Penn Station, passing the building where I once spent every Monday - Friday on the 25th Floor, and headed to the Huffington Post office. First up, a tour of Huffington Post, courtesy of Mr. Curtis Wong. Once back in Astoria where I called home for 4 years, it was time for dinner at Thai Pavilion, the greatest Thai restaurant in Queens. This is the first Thai restaurant I ever went to and enjoyed! And now because of my experience there, Thai is by far one of my favorite cuisines. Dinner was followed by a bottle of wine plus some at Brick. Brick was where my mom took Curtis and I for our first Thanksgiving dinner in New York. It was a night of reliving firsts ;)

My second day in NY, I got to see my friend Katie. You may or may not know her from Gleim or from previous posts about LDN. She was once my regular LDN date. We met up at her apartment, then ate, got pedicures, shopped, drank, ate some more. That definitely sounds like the Katie and Melissa days together! Love her! Curtis joined us just in time for our drinking and second meal :) 

On Friday, I had my first reminder of why New York and I were just never going to work out. I was an hour late meeting my wonderful friends Laura and Eileen because of train delays. An HOUR! I was so anxious to see these ladies, yet the subway in front of us had to pull the emergency brake. UGH. Finally, I arrived in Union Square to see these friends of mine. It was like no time had passed. Eileen is the oldest of all my friends in age, but the youngest at heart. She is the prime example of "age is only a number." I hope to be her age and living life with the same amount of vivacity. Laura is organized, great at keeping in touch, and always appears to be in control. Maybe I would like to be a combination of these two wonderful ladies. They are very dear to me and that lunch was amazing not because of the food, but because they represent so much of what made my time in New York incredibly special. I love them and hope I get to be a part of their lives for many, many years to come. To me they are perfect examples of true New Yorkers. 

After lunch, Curtis met me so that we could make our way to Jenn's apartment. It was great to see and catch up with her. I feel like every time I see her she is going through a life event. The first time I saw her after I left New York she had started dating the guy who would eventually become her husband. The next time I saw her she was engaged and contemplating a job offer from Martha Stewart, and the third time I went to NY she had gotten married and was working for Martha Stewart. This last time I visited her she was pregnant, but no longer working for Martha Stewart. Life never seems to hold still with her. It always makes for an exciting visit. I look forward to the next time I see her as she will officially be a mom to Baby Mac. Congratulations friend!

The next day Curtis and I made our way to Brooklyn for a pool party hosted by Penn Badgley. One of the perks of Curtis being one of my best friends. The highlight was the open bar and music. Thanks Curtis! We then went to a very typical Williamsburg restaurant and ate on the rooftop. Wow, those are the days where I miss New York. It was a beautiful, hot, sticky, but everything I love about New York days.

On our way home we walked The High Line which has amazing views and greenery all around. It is lovely. We stopped for cupcakes (hello, a trip anywhere with no cupcakes is no trip at all). On our walk to the subway we passed the Hotel Chelsea. I am slightly obsessed with Hotel Chelsea. If you want to watch an interesting documentary check out the one not surprisingly titled "The Hotel Chelsea."

My last full day in New York was jam packed! First, Curtis and I went back to Brooklyn. We had breakfast with Jyssica and her boyfriend Geoff. It was delicious and obviously a hipster breakfast, which I would expect nothing less from Williamsburg. We were in Williamsburg for breakfast because we had to go to the Flea Market. And, yes, I mean to say we "had" to go. The Flea Market was fantastic. I found some gifts for some people, I found a map of Queens to frame, I found some awesome old pictures, and then a great T-shirt for Nuri. I also got a magnet with a shark, whale, and dolphin approaching an oil rig in the middle of the ocean with weapons. It says, "Wetlands, not oil lands." It is such a fantastic image.

After the Flea Market, we made our way to Central Park. Curtis and I rented bikes, road around the park, and then made our way to the West Side Highway. We rode up the Hudson toward the GWB. It was a great ride, but it ran a little long and we were very rushed to meet up with Katie for our scheduled LDN-New York style. We had a great dinner at The Smith and then went out for some drinks.

Finally, we decided we needed to head home. Curtis was obviously tired, but I promised I wouldn't share the photographic evidence.

The next day, Monday/Labor Day I was leaving. In some ways this made me very sad, but in other ways I adequately reminded myself why I had somehow made a new home with a new city and left this one in the past. New York will always be a special place for me. It will be a place that I will love and cherish the rest of my life. I love that when I go back I always seem to meet up with very old and also much newer friends. It is a place that is always evolving, always welcoming, and always, always generous.

The New England Excursion Finale

On Tuesday, the last full day of my trip to Rhode Island, Danielle and I decided to go somewhere I had been many times, but constantly think about. The two of us had a girl's day in Newport, Rhode Island. If you haven't been there, you don't know what you are missing. If you have, then you understand. However, since the theme of the trip was to do stuff I haven't done before we did three firsts (well at least for me they were firsts).

First up, while it was still cool out we did the Cliff Walk. Now, for you beer drinkers I actually took this picture of the sign because it reminded me of my friend who brought Narrangansett over the other day. I informed him that it was indeed from Rhode Island.

The Cliff Walk is a beautiful path along a cliff that overlooks the water. You are able to see some of the Newport mansions on your right and the "death by falling" on your left. One of the things different in Newport since the last time I went was the presence of wind turbines. I know a lot of people argue that they aren't pretty, but to me there is something very beautiful about them. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to get a really good picture of them due to the fog and clouds.

The second thing on our list of firsts (which I believe was the only first for Danielle) was to visit St. Mary's. This is the church that JFK and Jackie were married. I can't believe that all times I have visited Newport before I never stopped by the church. We stopped, we took pictures, and they wouldn't let us in. They wouldn't let anybody in, and I was very disappointed.

The rest of the afternoon was spent shopping, eating, doing some more shopping. During our shopping I learned that Newport and the University of Florida campus has something in common. If you are walking, JUST CROSS. Cars have to stop and pedestrians can just keep on moving. As a pedestrian, I kept reminding myself about the other drivers, like me, who exist. The drivers who get annoyed by the pedestrians with no common sense or common courtesy. They just cross when and where they feel and take as much or little time as they please! So, by all means cross, but do try to not walk slowly and please find a crosswalk.

Then, finally we went for a drive down Ocean Drive. The scenery is beautiful and there are more mansions to see than just the ones along the Cliff Walk. I sent pictures of the scenery and told Nuri that in the background he can see our future home ;) 

We did try to find Jackie's childhood home and thought we had hit the jackpot, but it turns out it was the wrong house. We had gone down the wrong part of the road. Meh, that's OK, it just an excuse to go back another time.

This was definitely a day for sightseeing and quality hang out time. As the day was winding down I was sad to realize my trip was coming to an end and the next day I was leaving. But, I wasn't going home just yet...next stop NYC.

The New England Journey

My New England Excursion, Continued...

As I mentioned in my previous post, I have spent quite a few weekends in Rhode Island. This time when I came to visit, we tried to think of things I hadn't done before. Danielle presented the idea of going to Salem, Mass. I had never been and I love this type of thing. 

With Danielle at the wheel, me navigating, and Mrs. Heatherton (Danielle's mom) in the back entertaining the children and pressing play and stop on the DVD player at the appropriate times, how could this trip not be a breeze? That's what we thought, until we got stuck in traffic from what I believe were lots of rubber neckers followed by a quick "detour". Luckily, no men were with us so we were able to stop and ask for directions.

Going to Salem was a brilliant idea. As we arrived in this historic town whose economy is fed by embracing what has made it famous reminds me of where I went to college and by chance met Danielle. Salem definitely reminded me of St. Augustine. You have the Salem Witch Museum instead of the Fountain of Youth. You see people dressed up as witches instead of the 18th century Spanish inhabitants of the oldest city. 

And, you have the students at the local college working their way through school as a waiter, coffee shop barista, retail shop clerk, and tour guides. It is a New England, witch-infused version of St. Augustine. If only there were a beach and a Ripley's Believe It or Not.

First stop was the before-mentioned Salem Witch Museum. It had just the right blend of cheese and history. Would I go again, probably not, but glad I did at least once. 

After stopping for a bite to eat at a restaurant, which was recommended by what I imagine to be a student dressed as a witch, I decided I was ready to take a break from hunting witches and enjoy some Nathaniel Hawthorne. Danielle and I left the two girls with her Mom to play in a nearby location while she and I checked out The House of the Seven Gables. I know Danielle was probably not as thrilled as I was with this, but I was definitely loving it. There were beautiful gardens, plenty of literary history, and a tour of the house that inspired his novel with little tidbits about the author and his life. 

The one downer about the tour of the Hawthorne house was that there was a mother/daughter duo that drove us crazy! They had to comment on everything and ask the most ridiculous of questions. There is one in every group, unfortunately for us, this time there were two!

Almost right on cue, right after we toured the second building on the property (the home Nathaniel Hawthorne was born in) we got a call from Mrs. Heatherton. You could hear in the background the kids were ready to go. They were tired and hungry and had been such good sports all day as they all indulged in my love of history, literature, and cheesy portrayals of such things.

Our day in Salem came to an end and we were pretty exhausted after the drive home. I was ready to curl up with my book and Scotty (the Bishop's Collie who I am just in love with).

The following day I woke up and went for a run with Steve on a cross country trail. Here in Florida our hills are just little inclines, these hills were much more difficult to run up (and down). The sand was also much looser with piles of horse manure I had to dodge. This was no easy 2.5 mile run. After the run, Steve and I just hung out and chilled until Danielle got home from school. 

Scotty missing me...wishing I was on the couch showering him with kisses and hugs.

That night, Danielle and I went to dinner, had delicious pasta, good drinks, and a wonderful dessert. We tried to go to the dessert place everyone talks about, Pastiche, but of course it was closed on Mondays. Just our luck!

The night came to an end too soon, but the next day was going to be a big one with a very special trip planned so we had to make sure we got some sleep.

Next up, another New England excursion...

The Island Life

After a series of very unfortunate events in my life that occurred between August of 2011 and March 2012, I made a decision to turn the year around. I realized it had been 4 years since I had seen one of my closest college friends and had never met either of her two beautiful daughters. I love New England and thought I would try to escape the Florida summer, so I booked my flight and took off to a state that may be small in size, but big in heart. I love Rhode Island, I spent many weekends here during my four years in NYC. Rhode Island and Vermont were my places of choice when I needed a quick getaway from the city life.

Since leaving NYC 7.5 years ago, I had seen Danielle a total of 3 times. Once at her wedding to Steve, once when she visited her parents in South Florida, and once at a mutual friend's wedding in Vermont. When I said goodbye to her in Vermont after our friend's wedding 4 years ago, I never imagined we would let so much time go by without seeing each other. 

When she came to pick me up at TF Green airport she almost missed me. My hair was shorter and much darker and well, I am short and can sometimes get lost in the crowd of usually much taller individuals. But, in no time it felt like two old friends talking and laughing again like we use to. I really missed that and I definitely missed her.

First up, meet the children, beautiful and well-behaved. I should expect nothing less. 

My maternal instincts and child-grooming skills on full display. Hmmm, maybe I should hope for boys?

Later that night we went out in West Warwick for some beer with no plans of eating, but when I saw Stuffies on the menu, I was intrigued. How could I have spent so much time in Rhode Island all those years ago and not know what this was or ever have tried it before? Turns out it is just a stuffed quahog (sounds exactly as it is spelled and perfectly suited for the Rhode Island accent), which is a shellfish that looks like a larger version of a clam. Ate it before I took a picture ;)

Oh wait, and how can I forget one of the best things about the night, I got to see Danielle's mom when she came over to watch the babies. I am very fortunate that I have gotten to know the parents of my closest friends. I love these families almost as much as my own. I was equally as excited to see Mrs. and Mr. Heatherton as I was to see The Bishop Family. 

We interrupt this regularly scheduled blog...

I had an entry about my recent vacation written and ready to post, but then something very exciting happened today. Nuri gave me my birthday present! My birthday is not for another 2+ weeks! I am slowly coming to terms with the fact that he will never be able to wait to give me the gifts he gets for me. Why would this year be any different?

This year he got me a MacBook Air. I needed a new laptop and was expecting to buy myself a netbook or something, but nope, instead he got me this wonderful, light, beautiful machine.

My old laptop was definitely much heavier, a bit old, and the battery didn't hold a charge. That computer is part of why I am behind on this blog. With the old laptop, if I can't be plugged in, I can't do any work.

Nuri, thank you from the bottom of my heart! This year I will forgive you for not being able to wait. I will definitely get use out of it the next two weeks waiting for my actual 33rd birthday to arrive.