I try to keep politics off of this blog, but as the election is drawing closer I have a lot on my mind. One of the things that I am constantly thinking about are the four states with marriage equality initiatives on the ballot. Some states are trying to grant all citizens equal rights while other states are trying to take away rights. Moreover, we are faced with the choice of electing a president who says they support equal rights for all citizens, including those in the LGBT community, or a president who has said he supports a constitutional amendment to take away rights. What follows are just some of my thoughts on the issue.
The Strength of a Commitment
I have been with my boyfriend for nearly five years. We are not legally married, we are not even engaged. However, we are a committed and loving couple. I look at him some days and I am in awe of how much I can love one person. Other days I look at him and am enraged by how much I can love one person who drives me so unbelievably crazy. We are not perfect and I would never want someone to look at us as an example of a perfect couple (hint: there isn't one, they all have their problems). We have our ups and downs, our stresses and dreams, but we share it all. We live with our imperfections and strive to strengthen our relationship as we commit to one another and to the life we are building together.
However, when I say “my boyfriend” I get that brush off like our relationship isn't to be taken seriously. When I once referred to him as my partner I got the same type of brush off. We have chosen the life we live. Our choice is for reasons that some may disagree with, but they are our reasons and none of which have to do with how much we love each other or how committed we are to one another.
Fortunately for us, we are allowed to make this decision for ourselves. This is a freedom many, including me, have taken for granted. Unfortunately, I am saddened when I think of the hundreds of thousands of couples out there all across this country who are in just as committed relationships as my boyfriend and me with the decision made for them. They are told by their government and by other citizens (co-workers, neighbors, family members) they are wrong in the love they share with their partner, they are second-class citizens and can not share the same rights as others because of who they love, they are told their love means less than that of other couples. They are confined to the roles of boyfriend, girlfriend, and partner.
On a very personal level this is devastating to me. In a way, knowing that so many couples are prevented from legally making a commitment so they can share all the rights and benefits that come with marriage, lessens the true meaning of marriage. If I decided to marry tomorrow, how could I honestly believe that my marriage would mean anything more than couples who are just as committed as I am to my boyfriend, but just denied the right to make that commitment legal? I can't, and I wouldn't dare to make that comparison.
As a citizen of the United States of America, the discrimination of a group of individuals is devastating to the country as a whole. When did we decide that it was acceptable for lawmakers to determine that it is wrong for any two people who love each other to commit themselves to one another with equal recognition from the government? I am proud every time I hear of a new lawmaker taking a stand for equality. They will be the ones standing on the right side of this issue when future generations look at this civil rights fight and wonder why it was such a hard fought battle.
I believe that all humans should be given equal opportunities including the opportunity to commit themselves to the person they love with the same rights and protection under the government as every other person. Every couple should be given the opportunity to decide for themselves when they should marry and if they want to marry, not be told that they can't marry. No human, especially in America, should be discriminated against, ever! The day every single American is free to marry who they choose and where they choose, will be a beautiful day and will only strengthen the commitment I have made to the person I love and have chosen to spend my life with.
