more important things to focus on now..... STUDIIIEEEEESSSSS!!!!!!!!!!
*runs around the room screaming, waving hands in the air, pulling out hair at the same time*
heh... yea... just feel like doing that.... STRESSS MAN!!! what the heck am i doing?? finals is in less than a month!! 3 submissions in the following week and next. FYP presentation in less than 2 weeks!!! AAARRHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! SIAO!!!!
RACHEL!!! U NEED TO BUCK UP AND GET SOME WORK DONE!!! wait, not some. ALOT!! SIGH* can't afford to flunk wei... industrial training dy next sem....
i....need....to..buck...up...work...hard..study...fyp...law...emi...antennnaaaa......
zzzZZzZZZZZzzzzz........
:P nah.... i'm awake. bleh* back to work!
Tuesday, August 30, 2005
: :resurfaced: :
emotions resurface.
endearment...fear...confusion...regret...failure...
why?? why do u still stir in me these emotions? i thought all emotional ties have been broken. i thought all spiritual ties have been broken.
it's been more than a year. why am i still affected?? this shouldn't be.
"Papa...please help me let go and let You. It's not my responsibility anymore. I need to move on for good. And don't let Him go...I know You have a future for him too. Help me to leave him in Your hands..."
endearment...fear...confusion...regret...failure...
why?? why do u still stir in me these emotions? i thought all emotional ties have been broken. i thought all spiritual ties have been broken.
it's been more than a year. why am i still affected?? this shouldn't be.
"Papa...please help me let go and let You. It's not my responsibility anymore. I need to move on for good. And don't let Him go...I know You have a future for him too. Help me to leave him in Your hands..."
Monday, August 29, 2005
?????????????????????????????
questioning..... that's what many of us are doing now.
i see so many fellow believer's questioning their faith, their beliefs.
i see myself starting to question things as well.
i see this as a sign of maturity.
we no longer want to be spoon-fed;
but we wanna KNOW and discover things for ourselves.
personally, i'm not a questioner. i usually take things as they are.
but some friends have opened my eyes and mind to different things; causing me to be more inquisitive.
it was easier back then... yes... but we gotta grow. and this IS the next level.
"Holy Spirit, i just pray that as many of us take this journey through a time of testing and questioning, that You be there. You GUARD and GUIDE our hearts;
that through this journey, we'll emerge even stronger in faith...more grounded in Your word...more in love with You..."
~John 14:16-17,26~
and U...yes U...i'm glad that u ARE questioning what u mean when u say "I love God".
It's the first step. And don't let the devil fool u into thinking that ur background, ur father, the way u were brought up, ANY of these things can keep u from experiencing an affectionate and real relationship with our Papa in heaven. He sees your heart. He knows ur weakness, ur struggles as well as ur strengths. He understands them. Don't think He can't reach u because of them.
remember, WATCH!!! :) something's about to happen!! gather all ur faculties. ur spirit is searching. ur soul is yearning. ur heart is longing. ur mind is rationalizing. but let ur spirit, soul, heart and mind be in unity. there's more to the bible than just theology, facts and history. there is LIFE.
last but not least, thank u... for being there. for being u. for being a blessing.
i see so many fellow believer's questioning their faith, their beliefs.
i see myself starting to question things as well.
i see this as a sign of maturity.
we no longer want to be spoon-fed;
but we wanna KNOW and discover things for ourselves.
personally, i'm not a questioner. i usually take things as they are.
but some friends have opened my eyes and mind to different things; causing me to be more inquisitive.
it was easier back then... yes... but we gotta grow. and this IS the next level.
"Holy Spirit, i just pray that as many of us take this journey through a time of testing and questioning, that You be there. You GUARD and GUIDE our hearts;
that through this journey, we'll emerge even stronger in faith...more grounded in Your word...more in love with You..."
~John 14:16-17,26~
and U...yes U...i'm glad that u ARE questioning what u mean when u say "I love God".
It's the first step. And don't let the devil fool u into thinking that ur background, ur father, the way u were brought up, ANY of these things can keep u from experiencing an affectionate and real relationship with our Papa in heaven. He sees your heart. He knows ur weakness, ur struggles as well as ur strengths. He understands them. Don't think He can't reach u because of them.
remember, WATCH!!! :) something's about to happen!! gather all ur faculties. ur spirit is searching. ur soul is yearning. ur heart is longing. ur mind is rationalizing. but let ur spirit, soul, heart and mind be in unity. there's more to the bible than just theology, facts and history. there is LIFE.
last but not least, thank u... for being there. for being u. for being a blessing.
Thursday, August 18, 2005
day of Salvation
He's SAVED!!!! :D my prayer has been answered!!! *dances around the room*
14 AUg 2005...memorable day.. He accepted the Lord!!! Thank You Papa in heaven!!! LOVE YOU!!!
14 AUg 2005...memorable day.. He accepted the Lord!!! Thank You Papa in heaven!!! LOVE YOU!!!
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
looking back..giving thanks..
I was just looking back at my past posts... and I just realized that I have answered prayers that I haven't even noticed.
one of my posts: Tuesday, February 22, 2005
"combine prayer meeting last nite - had a bad case of gastric... pastor prayed for me... i actually felt immediate relief. it still hurt a lil but at least i could stand. believing God for complete healing for my stomach and abdominal area.... been having tummy problems for too long. i know my God can heal!!!"
and seriously...after fasting month...or maybe it was after the mission trip to Cambodia... I just realized I haven't been getting frequent stomach problems as before... God healed me and it didn't even occur to me!!! THANK YOU DADDY!!!
another answered prayer that I noticed: I've been praying for a dear friend; that he'll come to know the true God and find peace and and purpose. I also prayed that when he goes to Aus, God will send people to talk to him, reveal to him more, since I'm here and he is there. SURE ENOUGH, God HAS sent him someone. And much to my delight, he's come to a place where he's questioning the truth, our existence...etc.. He even called from Aus...to chat and to question me more on my faith. I truly believe He will find the saving grace of our Lord, and be able to live with peace in his heart. :)
Does prayer and faith work??? YES!!!!!!
one of my posts: Tuesday, February 22, 2005
"combine prayer meeting last nite - had a bad case of gastric... pastor prayed for me... i actually felt immediate relief. it still hurt a lil but at least i could stand. believing God for complete healing for my stomach and abdominal area.... been having tummy problems for too long. i know my God can heal!!!"
and seriously...after fasting month...or maybe it was after the mission trip to Cambodia... I just realized I haven't been getting frequent stomach problems as before... God healed me and it didn't even occur to me!!! THANK YOU DADDY!!!
another answered prayer that I noticed: I've been praying for a dear friend; that he'll come to know the true God and find peace and and purpose. I also prayed that when he goes to Aus, God will send people to talk to him, reveal to him more, since I'm here and he is there. SURE ENOUGH, God HAS sent him someone. And much to my delight, he's come to a place where he's questioning the truth, our existence...etc.. He even called from Aus...to chat and to question me more on my faith. I truly believe He will find the saving grace of our Lord, and be able to live with peace in his heart. :)
Does prayer and faith work??? YES!!!!!!
Monday, August 08, 2005
Lessons & Crap
Things I've learned over the week:
=> Cleared air is good. ;)
=> It's still possible to be surprised.
=> You're not alone in this world. You think only YOU go through this shit? You're SOOO wrong!!! There's probably someone just beside you who's experiencing a similiar situation. Be alert and sensitive. You might be able to hear the cries of others and be a blessing to them instead of focusing solely on your own grief.
=> Divine appointment. God is good. He sends people to encourage you. And sends you to encourage others. This Sunday, out of nowhere, a spontaneous lunch date was formed with a friend. Happened coz I commented that we haven't chatted in a long time. And whaddya know? She was going through a really hard time. And felt alot better after we talked. I believe God planned that for us. I was blessed too as we were sharing our lives and experiences. We both were reminded that we're never alone. And as girls, we go through the same thorns. SISTERS!!! We gotta help each other be strong and to carry on!! :D
=> Relationships cause the most painful stings. But that's how our characters are formed. That's how we learn about ourselves and strive to greater heights.
And now, the CRAP!! Yahoo statuses have been revolusionized!! check this out:-
started with our dear friend johnson..
Esther and i was thinking "what the heck???" So we decided to come up with our OWN crap...and got others to join us too. LOL...what a shock johnson's gonna get when he wakes up!! MUAHAHAHA....
and my very own:
Which one of us wins the prize for most nonsense??
=> Cleared air is good. ;)
=> It's still possible to be surprised.
=> You're not alone in this world. You think only YOU go through this shit? You're SOOO wrong!!! There's probably someone just beside you who's experiencing a similiar situation. Be alert and sensitive. You might be able to hear the cries of others and be a blessing to them instead of focusing solely on your own grief.
=> Divine appointment. God is good. He sends people to encourage you. And sends you to encourage others. This Sunday, out of nowhere, a spontaneous lunch date was formed with a friend. Happened coz I commented that we haven't chatted in a long time. And whaddya know? She was going through a really hard time. And felt alot better after we talked. I believe God planned that for us. I was blessed too as we were sharing our lives and experiences. We both were reminded that we're never alone. And as girls, we go through the same thorns. SISTERS!!! We gotta help each other be strong and to carry on!! :D
=> Relationships cause the most painful stings. But that's how our characters are formed. That's how we learn about ourselves and strive to greater heights.
And now, the CRAP!! Yahoo statuses have been revolusionized!! check this out:-
started with our dear friend johnson..
Esther and i was thinking "what the heck???" So we decided to come up with our OWN crap...and got others to join us too. LOL...what a shock johnson's gonna get when he wakes up!! MUAHAHAHA....
and my very own:
Which one of us wins the prize for most nonsense??
Friday, August 05, 2005
Languages of LOVE
A close friend sent me this article which is really worth reading. It's too long to share here, but one of the shorter ones that i found interesting is this:
THE DIFFERENT LANGUAGES OF LOVE
1) Touch. Some people just naturally touch the people they love. If they want to tell someone they love them, they kiss their cheek, or hold their hand, or gather them up in a bear hug. That's what comes naturally to them.
2) Verbal expression. When these people feel love welling up within them, their only comfortable outlet is their mouth. "I love you. I love you." While some people find it hard to express their love in words, these people can't stop.
3) Service. These people communicate love by serving the beloved. For them, love isn't love unless it's demonstrated in practical terms - wallpapering the kitchen, washing the car, preparing favorite meals.
4) Providers. These people consider their breadwinning to be the greatest expression of their love. Providers go to great lengths to ensure that even after they're gone, their loved ones will be well provided for.
5) Gift-givers. These people keep the department stores solvent. They love to buy little gifts (or big ones), wrap them beautifully, and present them with childish glee to the ones they love.
6) Opportunity enthusiasts. These people like to think of ways to challenge and inspire their loved ones to greatness. Their goal is to open up opportunities that will offer stimulation and fulfillment.
7) Time-given. These people are primarily concerned with fellowship. They're willing to rearrange their schedules so they can offer large blocks of time to the significant people in their lives.
It is interesting to know that we sometimes don't feel loved because we don't understand the love language that our friends are using and vice versa. Many times we think we're showing our friend's love, but we could be pushing them, or appear totally uncaring. For example the "Opportunity enthusiasts". You'll be urging your loved one to do things; join a singing contest, go sky-diving, take scuba diving lessons; all this to inspire ur friend maybe. But unknowingly, you're just making them feel like they're not good enough or pressured. When maybe all they need is a warm embrace.
Well, for me, I'm definitely the 1st, 2nd and last one. :) Esther, Leona, Jo, ur all 1st and 2nd too... Bea, i think ur 3&7... Auds, ur no.1,3..Mich...ur definitely no.5... Weeliem...ur like 1,2,3,7...lol...
hmmm.. no.4&6? i think Melvin is a good example... and the list goes on... i can't name everyone...
So what kind of love language do you speak? And do your loved ones understand it? If not, help them to... :)
THE DIFFERENT LANGUAGES OF LOVE
1) Touch. Some people just naturally touch the people they love. If they want to tell someone they love them, they kiss their cheek, or hold their hand, or gather them up in a bear hug. That's what comes naturally to them.
2) Verbal expression. When these people feel love welling up within them, their only comfortable outlet is their mouth. "I love you. I love you." While some people find it hard to express their love in words, these people can't stop.
3) Service. These people communicate love by serving the beloved. For them, love isn't love unless it's demonstrated in practical terms - wallpapering the kitchen, washing the car, preparing favorite meals.
4) Providers. These people consider their breadwinning to be the greatest expression of their love. Providers go to great lengths to ensure that even after they're gone, their loved ones will be well provided for.
5) Gift-givers. These people keep the department stores solvent. They love to buy little gifts (or big ones), wrap them beautifully, and present them with childish glee to the ones they love.
6) Opportunity enthusiasts. These people like to think of ways to challenge and inspire their loved ones to greatness. Their goal is to open up opportunities that will offer stimulation and fulfillment.
7) Time-given. These people are primarily concerned with fellowship. They're willing to rearrange their schedules so they can offer large blocks of time to the significant people in their lives.
It is interesting to know that we sometimes don't feel loved because we don't understand the love language that our friends are using and vice versa. Many times we think we're showing our friend's love, but we could be pushing them, or appear totally uncaring. For example the "Opportunity enthusiasts". You'll be urging your loved one to do things; join a singing contest, go sky-diving, take scuba diving lessons; all this to inspire ur friend maybe. But unknowingly, you're just making them feel like they're not good enough or pressured. When maybe all they need is a warm embrace.
Well, for me, I'm definitely the 1st, 2nd and last one. :) Esther, Leona, Jo, ur all 1st and 2nd too... Bea, i think ur 3&7... Auds, ur no.1,3..Mich...ur definitely no.5... Weeliem...ur like 1,2,3,7...lol...
hmmm.. no.4&6? i think Melvin is a good example... and the list goes on... i can't name everyone...
So what kind of love language do you speak? And do your loved ones understand it? If not, help them to... :)
*afraid*
dum dee dee dum...
happy yet sad...
excited yet afraid...
afraid of disappointments...
afraid of history repeating itself...
afraid of hopes crashing down...
afraid of pointless anticipation...
-missing the days when things were so simple-
"Daddy up above...why can't You reveal Your plans to us earlier so that we don't fall into the same darn holes? Yea yea... I know...there's perfect timing for everything. But it sucks not knowing what the future holds sometimes..."
argh!! EMI is driving me mad!!!
happy yet sad...
excited yet afraid...
afraid of disappointments...
afraid of history repeating itself...
afraid of hopes crashing down...
afraid of pointless anticipation...
-missing the days when things were so simple-
"Daddy up above...why can't You reveal Your plans to us earlier so that we don't fall into the same darn holes? Yea yea... I know...there's perfect timing for everything. But it sucks not knowing what the future holds sometimes..."
argh!! EMI is driving me mad!!!
Thursday, August 04, 2005
bleh
~confused~
~puzzled~
~pondering~
misunderstood?
what the heck??
-weird-
sigh.... EMI EMI EMI EMI EMI!!!!! bleh* I NEED TO STUDY HARDER!!!
"RACHEL!! STOP PLAYING AROUND WITH THE PC!!! LIKE RIGHT NOW!!!! STOP BLOGGING!! "
me: okay.... pout* -back to my tutorials- yawn*
~puzzled~
~pondering~
misunderstood?
what the heck??
-weird-
sigh.... EMI EMI EMI EMI EMI!!!!! bleh* I NEED TO STUDY HARDER!!!
"RACHEL!! STOP PLAYING AROUND WITH THE PC!!! LIKE RIGHT NOW!!!! STOP BLOGGING!! "
me: okay.... pout* -back to my tutorials- yawn*
Monday, August 01, 2005
~Series of Events~
it's weird how so many things happen can over a weekend. leading to bliss as well as bad feelings.
Life party on sat was awesome! 7 friends turned up. 2 of which have never been to church before. and ALL of them enjoyed it!! "thank you Daddy!!! I pray that the seed has been planted and ONE day they SHALL find You for themselves!!"
the events following church - dinner at garden cafe...JAZZ FEST at mont kiara...a pleasant conversation on the drive home...continuation of that conversation online... wow...first time jo is right! as in really really right!!...sleeps with smile on face.. :)
the next day....church...lunch with jo.... KARAOKE with wonderful people. 2 wonderful people falling.... SIGH* no..wrong timing... :(
dinner with mel's family...nice...chillin at the club was breathtaking...beautiful. must rent a room one day... hmmm...2 days in a row spent with jo...couldnt be happier. really missed hanging out with her.
::Jo & I::
at home...received a MOST SHOCKING MESSAGE!!! heart pounding...hands shaking...but in the end..it's all good...no damage done. -grateful-
argh! back to studying! bleh* -_-
Life party on sat was awesome! 7 friends turned up. 2 of which have never been to church before. and ALL of them enjoyed it!! "thank you Daddy!!! I pray that the seed has been planted and ONE day they SHALL find You for themselves!!"
the events following church - dinner at garden cafe...JAZZ FEST at mont kiara...a pleasant conversation on the drive home...continuation of that conversation online... wow...first time jo is right! as in really really right!!...sleeps with smile on face.. :)
the next day....church...lunch with jo.... KARAOKE with wonderful people. 2 wonderful people falling.... SIGH* no..wrong timing... :(
dinner with mel's family...nice...chillin at the club was breathtaking...beautiful. must rent a room one day... hmmm...2 days in a row spent with jo...couldnt be happier. really missed hanging out with her.
::Jo & I::
at home...received a MOST SHOCKING MESSAGE!!! heart pounding...hands shaking...but in the end..it's all good...no damage done. -grateful-
argh! back to studying! bleh* -_-
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
