As I have mentioned to friends and family throughout our journey home; Savannah has had a difficult time transitioning. She hasn't rebelled in any way and suddenly become the angry child that hates her parents. Her manifestations have come about through her school work. Savannah our always intelligent child, never having received less than an A, is actually struggling in school. One gift that we have as being parents is that we know our children well enough to consider the underlying problems. I know that Savannah is a bright child. I know she understands the work that is placed in front of her. As I do my research and talk to the most brilliant teacher in the field of education, my sister, I come to the conclusion that she is indeed transitioning. So we motivate, we encourage and when we get fed up we get angry and demanding. But today I learned a lesson.
She brought home her midterm report card. As I scan over it the first and only letter that pops out at me is the D. I knew it was coming, with the grades she has been bringing home thus far, I was expecting them to collaborate together and form nothing more than a D. But disappointment swells and as many people who know me, it forms immediately on my face. What can I say, I wear my emotions on my sleeves. I put the paper down and tears begin to swell up in Savannah eyes. Without me saying a word, she knew how I felt. Trying to put encouragement and happiness in my voice I urge her to show the report to her daddy. Her tears soon turn to fear. Hesitantly she makes her way to her daddy. Soon, over the sound of screaming children, I hear another form of screaming. Pure elation! I hear the words, "Babe, I am so proud of you!"
I wasn't expecting Harvey to yell or get angry with her, maybe just have a little heart to heart. But the joy and laughter threw me completely off. As I make my way to the back bedroom to inquire what the excitement was all about, a number flashes in my mind 99, and then another one 100. It soon occurs to me what Harvey's excitement was all about. Before I even make it there, I know the cause of his joy. He is overjoyed with her determination and progress. As my eyes focused on the D, his eyes overlooked it and focused primarily on the rest of the grades, which were A's. He, knowing how she has just made a huge adjustment to life and her surroundings is finally coming out of her grade slump.
As I learn this great lesson, I reflect on how often I emphasize the negative things my children do. I wonder how often I overlook the great things, the courageous things, the brilliant things. I ponder on Savannah's bravery in making new friends at school, in battling her loneliness, in trying to adjust not only to a new school and teacher but to a new country (believe me there are huge differences); basically an entirely new system of doing things. I ponder on my other children as well; Madison's ability to understand people and their feelings, Carson's fun loving spirit and how he races to pick things off the floor the second he hears the vaccuum turn on, and Rylie's deep concern for others when she hears them cry, seeking them out to provide them her solace. If we focus on the positive and the strengths that our children possess our hearts can only grow more immensely in love and devotion towards them. This is one of many reasons why I could never do this parenting thing without Harvey. We teach each other these valuable lessons and become better because of them. So thanks Harv in teaching me what matters most in life; to look for the positive and see the good even if the bad is blaring in our faces!
