Galations 6:1-10

3 days left to the close of 2012.

This season I am in is about to draw to a close. What's coming next I don't really know...perhaps learning to work and shine in my work..haha, we will see.

But all this year I have been talking about restoration.

Today I read Galations 6:1-10 and a commentary found here http://www.biblegateway.com/resources/commentaries/IVP-NT/Gal/Freedom-Fulfill
and it defines the verb restore - "In a spiritual context, restore means perfecting in spiritual maturity and equipping for service (2 Cor 13:11; Eph 4:12; 1 Thess 3:10; Heb 13:21).
In 1 Corinthians 1:10 Paul uses the same verb to express his desire that the divided church in Corinth "be perfectly united." The church had been broken and torn by divisions; it needed to be reset as a physician would reset broken bones and mended as a fisherman would repair torn nets. Here in Galatians 6:1 the verb restore calls for spiritual therapy so that a broken member of the body can once again work properly and perform its vital functions for the benefit of the whole body.

As long as any member of the body is broken, the whole body suffers. If the broken member of the body is amputated, the whole body suffers the loss. What is needed is restoration. The goal is the recovery of Christian brothers and sisters who have sinned so that the whole body will be healthy and productive again.

The exact methods of restoration are not described by Paul. They will vary according to the individual circumstances. But Paul does specify the manner of restoration: restore him gently. Literally, he says, restore "in a spirit of gentleness." "Gentleness" is one aspect of the fruit of the Spirit (5:23). Gentleness is not weakness; it is great strength under control. When gentle Christians see someone caught in a sin, they do not react with violent emotions or with arrogance. Even when sinful actions are scandalous and harmful, the emotions of the gentle person are under control, and the will of the gentle person is devoted to loving the sinner all the way to total recovery. Only the Holy Spirit can empower a person to respond in such a "spirit of gentleness.""

With that said I am thankful that God restored areas in my life that needed restoration, that needed transformation, and it got me to where I am today.

Another side of it that caught my attention was 'pride'. Oh how we as leaders often battle with it.

"The warning against self-deception (v. 3) enlarges upon the warning against conceit (5:26) and temptation (6:1). The most serious spiritual danger of all is the self-delusion of pride: someone who thinks he is something when he is nothing. In the immediate context, Paul's rebuke must be aimed at those who thought so highly of their own status that they were unwilling to take the role of servants to carry the burdens of others. The Jewish Christian law teachers were so impressed with the importance of their mission of imposing the Mosaic law on Gentile believers that they had no time or interest to bear the sin-burdens of "Gentile sinners" who had come to Christ. The Gentile Christians were so intent on coming under the yoke of the law to establish their status as full members of the favored Jewish people that they did not lift a finger to help carry the burdens of their fellow Christians.

These zealots' pride in the law kept them from serving one another in love. And so, thinking themselves to be something, they were in fact nothing. For as Paul says in another letter, "if I . . . have not love, I am nothing" (1 Cor 13:2). Instead of loving one another, these zealots for the law were provoking one another (5:26). Their arrogance caused them to react in angry condemnation toward those who sinned, rather than to help restore sinners by carrying their burdens. No wonder then that Paul interweaves this warning against the self-delusion of pride with his call to service. Only those who are freed from delusions of their own importance will be able to serve others in love."

And yet another extract about reaping what you sow:
"Paul then applies the agricultural principle of reaping what is sown: The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life (v. 8). Here we are faced with a decision, a decision that determines our destiny. We are not victims of fate, bad luck or even predestination. Our destiny is determined by our decision: shall we sow to the sinful nature or to the Spirit? The old proverb is true: "Sow a thought, reap an act; sow an act, reap a habit; sow a habit, reap a character; sow a character, reap a destiny.""

Lastly,
"One of the greatest obstacles to rebuilding broken relationships is simply fatigue. We can easily lose heart and run out of strength when we come up against the same problems over and over again as we deal with others. Even Paul sounds discouraged when he talks about his efforts to rebuild his relationship with the Galatian believers: "I fear for you, that somehow I have wasted my efforts on you" (4:11). Paul recognized that fatigue and discouragement might cause Christians to throw in the servant's towel and quit. So he presents two incentives to keep us from giving up when we grow weary of serving others in love. First, he assures us of a reward for doing good: at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up (v. 9). Sometimes the harvest is experienced in this life. When we sow acts of love, we reap a harvest of love in return. When we give generously and sacrificially to the needs of others, we reap a harvest of gratitude as those needs are met. When we sow the seed of God's Word in needy lives, we experience the joy of response. But we must remember that reaping a harvest almost never happens on the same day as sowing the seed. We may not even see a harvest in this life from what we have sown. Nevertheless, we must never give up, because we know that at the proper time our Master will return and reward those who have been faithful servants."

Just sharing somethings I read today. Sorry not very organised notes. And it's time to audit files and get my work done for today!

Last day of work for 2011...wohoo!

Eliminate Hurry

There is a difference between 'hurry' and 'busy'

Jesus was often busy but he was never hurried.

Busyis an external condition - a condition of the body.

Hurried is a condition of the soul. It is an inward condition in which you are so frantic and preoccupied that you are unable to receive love from the Father, and unable to present with other people, to give love to them.

Proverbs 19:2
Desire without knowledge is not good and one who moves too hurriedly misses the way.

Eliminate hurry.

Now what? God's guide to Life for Graduates - John Ortberg

Christmas 2011

So I had my first ever Christmas in Singapore this year!

Celebrated my cousin's birthday which falls on the 26th December. This year I only had 3 days of Christmas holiday, just like other working people, unless they choose to clear their leaves at the end of the year. The office is kind of empty this week.

My little cousins are so adorable. Dillon saw me playing with my phone and ask me "Who you messaging, your boyfriend ah?" And I said no I don't have a boyfriend. And they keep asking and asking.

Then he saw the front page of my phone which has the weather and location on it and said "Oh I know, your boyfriend's surname is sunny and his name is london.....so your boyfriend is londun sunnee (in the most indian accent following the 3 idiots)" and I burst out laughing I tell you.

Kids these days. You ask him whether he has a girlfriend, he says no, I broke up with her already. LOL.

It was a rather short visit. Had mixed emotions this time around.

Oh I got a ukelele!! I am so happy, thank you Uncle Mike! Will now learn how to play it :D

Merry Christmas and a Happy New year everyone. Embrace 2012!

Could it be different?

Everyone says, this is chambering life:

1. late nights are inevitable
2. your social life will soon deplete...slowly
3. it's not going to get any better, but you just need to get use to it
4. work may require you to come in even on weekends, if datelines are set, if you have to work you have to work.
5. this is how it is if you want to do litigation...

This is how it is....

really?

Could it be different?

I think I have a lot to learn....so much to learn. Lord teach me these Your principles and how to apply in this new context as I go along now. This new phase this new season, there will be different kinds of challenges, but I know I won't face it alone, I don't want to, I don't have to.

It's only the 2nd month of chambering....7 more months to go and a lifetime of practising as a lawyer.

Replug into the main source: Jesus!

Did I just say yes to being available this Sunday (standby) to come in into office if needed?

Well I told her if need be, I can only come in after 12 because I got church. "Everything needs to be finalised by this weekend because we are rushing things off to be sent overseas," she says. Yes I do recognise the urgency.....

BUT I SAID YES! IN THE PRESSURE AND HEAT OF THINGS, THE INTENSE MOMENT WHEN MY 2 OTHER COLLEUGES ARE AVAILABLE TO COME IN ON SUNDAYS AND I DIDN'T WANNA LOOK BAD IN FRONT OF HER....

It's a Sabbath for goodness sake Esther. I can't believe what I agreed to. Is it wrong? Now I am not blaming anyone, I am blaming myself, the lack of discipline in my quiet time is really making me feel I'm drawing more and more away from the source. I need to get connected again.

It is true that we need to give our best in our work, but if we plug in only to work and only work, work will eventually be the source of our life.

Gosh this is all harder than I thought it would be.

Don't lose yourself. Don't lose your commitment. Don't lose God.

I really need to establish the one hour timeframe of "God time" soon.

Suddenly the reality of the working world seem so scary. You get sucked into it so easily if you are not careful, and you may not even realise it....until it's too late. But thank goodness, it's never too late with Jesus. Keep watch, I sense some tugging from the Holy Spirit already. I need to deal with this.

Jesus, come.

new record!

So I broke my record when I stayed back at work until 2.30 am on Thursday! Well I know its inevitable, i Know it would be coming, but I never thought it would come so soon. :)

Anyways, it's good training. I believe I am under good training environment. I learn a lot from my master. She's strict but she's also very detailed. That is something I'm learning to pick up.

I've been so busy lately that I hardly have quality quiet time. Today when I finally had time to sit and pray...was reminded of Daniel. The secret to why he was so favoured and how he distinguished himself was because he spent those solid hours in prayer!

And I knew that instant that I cannot just pray Lord, help me be the light in my workplace, help me stand out, help me show Your glory through me, help me distinguished myself so people see a difference in me and that difference is You ------ no no no I cannot if I do not discipline myself and spend those hours with Him.

Daniel must have received all his brilliant ideas during his quiet time, when he spend time hearing from the Lord and allowing God to download His wisdom into his life.

conclusion: Quiet time is dead important!

It irks me to be a people pleaser.

It irks me to do things without thinking first.

It really irks me when I ask the wrong questions.

I need to re-prioritise my life!

Acts 17:24-25

The God who made the world and everything in it, being Lord of heaven and earth, does not live in temples made by man, nor is he served by human hands, as though he needed anything, since he himself gives to all mankind life and breath and everything.

A lot of times we talk as if God needed our service, if we don't serve, if we don't obey, people won't get saved etc etc.

While it is true to a certain extent, but really He doesn't need us to serve, but He wants us to serve.

Sometimes I take for granted how great God is. We sing it so often but we don't really comprehend His greatness.

He is sovereign. Meaning He works through our mistakes, our stubborness, our human self.

It's always good to take a moment to recognise that you are a nobody compared to the one above and in everything WE ALL need Him.

I need Him.

It's good to have You here. To have someone who knows what's ahead. You know how you just trust the tour guide to bring you around and you just follow because he knows the place better than you do?

We just need to stick to the tour guide, listen to his instructions, else you get lost in the big crowd. Stay close.

I don't really have a specific theme for this post, just wanted to blog about things on my mind that's all.

He said to me, "you said that I am the Lord of your life, can you then allow me to BE the Lord of your life."

Okok I repent.

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GIve

2 Corinthians 9:7

Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.

The art of giving....

Lord teach me this. To be able to give with a cheerful heart. To reach a level of giving like the women who broke the alabaster jar at Your feet, one year's of wages.

Men of courage arise!

I don't want a boy, but I do need a man.

I need my man to be courageous in battle. Courageous when fighting for me.

A man who knows by his own strength he cannot win the fight, but choose to enlist the help of One who is greater, in fact, the greatest!

Blood and sweat he will toil, until he reaches his goal.

A man who will not give up, when he falls, he gets on his horse and charge at it again.

A man who is not perfect on his own, but made perfect through Jesus.

I pray all men be that for their women.

And so this song to end this post : )

Ramblings at 12pm

Hello earthlings.

Sorry I have been MIA-ing the past few days. Haven't really had time nor inspiration to blog.

Sitting at work now with nothing left to do, well actually there are a lot more things to do but the person in charge is busy today so we have to wait for her instructions.

Nothing like Monday blues. But having a room that oversees midvalley and the highways helps, well kinda.

And plugging in to William Fitzsimmons, an armish singer with a long beard :)

I hope my day becomes more fruitful. Been lagging in my quiet time lately. Feeling the distance :(

Anyways will not end my post with something sad. I want to thank God for today. :) I like my workplace, I like my job, I like my collegues :D. Thank you Jesus.

You know just what I need.

I may not even know what I like, or what I want, but You do. Some people don't even know/think they need salvation, but You know all of us do, and You went ahead years ago to do that. :)

Grateful.

Grace = Empowerment

I am nothing without You.

Grace is not just a free gift, it is an empowerment to do the things which are beyond our ability!

Daniel was 10 times smarter than the greatest teachers in Babylon. He distinguished himself. God's favour and grace was upon him. Daniel 6:3

Acts 6:8 Stephen had great grace to perform great miracles

Luke 2:40 The grace of God was upon Jesus. Even Jesus who did not sin had the grace of God upon his ministry.

Dear Lord I pray I'd start each day of my work with Your grace! Not using my own ability and knowledge that I know or the potential that I know I have. I count it all as rubbish.

I need your grace, I need your empowerment to distinguish myself in my workplace, to be excellent, not for my own glory, but Yours.

If it is based on my own ability, God would have to share the glory with us, but we are always called to do something beyond our ability, so that God gets all the glory!

Being humble is the beginning of things great.

a tiring but fruitful week

And so work has started. I really need to learn to adjust to the culture and etc

It was a weekend of driving classes, prayer meetings and day trip to malacca.

Nw sitting under the gazebo with sun light shining directly at me at 8.30 in the morning, waiting fr my next round at the steering wheel...

Having my pre test today before the real one next Friday. Pray for me thank you :)

Learn to be content.
Learn to be detailed.
To adapt
To strive to be the best
To use His strength not mine

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Worship in spirit and in truth

Attended a 3 day seminar on worship by Dan Macaulay (you can google him to know more) and will share some of the notes and inspiring quotes from him.

God is looking for a worshiper. John 4

It is one of those things that God cannot make us do. We must decide it ourselves.

In John 4, Jesus was speaking to this Samaritan woman. In vs 19, the woman was asking Jesus a "style" question. The style of worship. The Jews worshiped in Jerusalem in a different way but the Samaritans worshiped in another place totally different.

vs 21-24 Jesus answered her that style don't matter. What matters is that a worshiper must worship in spirit and in truth. The Samaritans missed out on Jesus (after all the miracles he had done and blessed so many other people) because they had a different worship style than the Jews, and Jesus was a Jew, so they didn't want Him to come into their town. Don't miss out on Jesus' visitation because of a style issue, don't let style/place/anything hinder us from receiving a visitation from Him.

What does it mean to worship in spirit and in truth?

Spirit - the worshiper must be born again of the Spirit, the Holy Spirit is the one that draws us to Him and the Holy Spirit is the one that knows God. Engage with the H.S during worship.

Truth

1. It is to understand the truth of who God is. Vs 22, Jesus mentioned to the Samaritans that they worship a God that they do not know. Your worship is a direct corresponding measurement of your understanding of who God is. If you have a big God, you have big worship.

2. To bring our true self before Him. Taking off the mask. If you have a problem, bring it before Him, the struggles you are facing. Show him the truth of who we really are...for real.

3. The truth of what He ask - the bible mentions how God wants us to worship Him.

a. we need to stretch ourselves until we do things His way until it becomes our way.

b. silence and being still Ps 46:10

c. the fruit of our lips giving thanks to his Name Heb 13:15

d. worship Him with music and singing Ps 33:3

e. standing (it's a sign of respect and makes us more alert) 2 Chron 5:12, 7:6, 29:26, Rev 4:9-11

f. kneeling and bowing down Ps 95:6

g. clapping Ps 47:1

h. dancing Ps 149:3 with exuberant joy Ex 15:20-21, 2 Sam 6:14-16, Ps 30:11, Ps 49:3, Acts 3:8

but some would say it's not our culture to dance, or not our church's worship culture to do that, once we start throwing out biblically prescribed way of worship for culture, we are heading for trouble.

i. shouting! Ps 132:9, silence is good and is one way of worship, but to contrast, silence is mentioned 12 times in the bible and shouting is mentioned 256 times.

j. lifting hands Ps 134:2 it's a natural human expression, people lift their hands and shout for joy when their favourite football team scores a goal! don't you think we should be equally or more excited about Jesus too?

worship is acknowledging the greatness of something and responding to Him, we don't have to be so emotional like that 24/7, but the point is, it is OK to be emotional during worship in church.

Never downgrade scripture based on the level of our experience. I.e. I tried but never experienced it, so perhaps it's just not it, so let's skip this part and leave it out. Never downgrade scripture based on the level of our experience.

Don't be another of those that worship the Lord, but their hearts are far from Him.

Testimony of God's goodness

Seek ye first His kingdom and His righteousness and all these things will be give to you as well.

Matthew 6:33

And yes it is true indeed. Okay the human me was worried after being rejected the first time by a big gun firm like Shearn. I had an interview lined up with Lee Hishammuddin on Thursday. Lee H is my top choice among all the firms. I only got to know about Rahmat Lim from my law friend after I've sent in all my applications (on the day I got rejected by Shearn).

So I went for LeeH's interview on Thursday, and they said they would get back to me on Friday. The interview went well, but I didn't receive a call from them the next day. I was anxious, but my Dad with his cool voice said, "My discernment tells me they will want to take you in." (And yea I do not doubt my dad's discernment, ok...maybe I did a little...but he is always right in the end.) And some lectures from the others to trust God.

My interview with Rahmat got postponed from Thursday to Friday morning. If Lee H were to call me on Thursday, I would have said yes straight away. But they only emailed me on Friday morning before my second interview.

Went for the interview, the longest among all the other interviews I've been to. I was given a case study to prepare for 30 mins; this really felt like a proper interview. The partner Pauline really spent time explaining in length to me the firm's vision and how they do things, which I'm very impressed. it's all I've ever wanted for these reasons:

1. Among the higher paying salaries in the market

2. I get to work under a very experienced IP lawyer (graduated from LSE, previously was in Shearn and ZeeCo before she moved here)

3. There is a good chance to expand my practice if I want to in the future to Singapore because they are very closely linked with Allen & Gledhill Singapore

4. They give really good perks

5. New offices, very new, with rooms that have glass windows facing the city! (Just like in the movies!)

6. I was allowed to take 5 days leave in January to attend the prayer in Kluang! (this is very rare for chambering students to be allowed to even take leave, what more 5 days!)

7. They are very flexible, friendly and all out to expose their chambering students to real life stuff (yes we are allowed to make mistakes at the expense of the firm..but nt too much of course)

8. A firm that moves with time, brings the best practices from all the other firms out there and discards the bad.

9. After just 2 - 3 years of their opening, they are now expanding to another floor.

10. If I get retained...I get a blackberry!

What more could I ask for? If this is not God I don't know what else it is. Even when I wore the wrong pants for the interview (yes it was a tad bit too loose and I wasn't feeling too confident in that pants).

Say Amen with me! :D

I'm starting work next month. Will do my best in the battlefield God has put me in :)

It's either Demi got her heart broken or why is most of her songs quite emo these days. Haha. But anyways, Gabe is such an awesome songwriter! Here are his response videos to 2 of Demi's songs.

The angry and emo side of the song turned into one which could cool you down and melt your heart. Way to go Gabe. :)

Speak to Me

So what if what you've learnt in the past that you thought "Ah, this is it!" is really not it. What you thought was right perhaps is not the best way to go about it?

Had some discussions with my parents the other day about finding a life partner. The basic principles I know or at least I thought right got challenged.

How to know if you are setting the bar too high and wanting to compromise/settle for something less while not seemingly overspiritualising stuff?

And they say I complicate stuff too much sometimes. Well to a certain extent I admit wrong in the past...well we are all not perfect and we just wanted to do what is right, at least what seemed right.

"Perhaps just pray and let God deal with it," they say.

Well thanks, I'm back to square one. It's like baking a 3 tier cake and then smashing it all down again.

Lord you better know what You're doing because I'm trusting you on it.

Like duhh Esther...

I am sorry Lord, I know nothing how to handle this part of my life. Please come help. Thank you.

Social outcast

The worst thing an extrovert fears is to be socially outcast. We extroverts 'recharge' usually by having people around.

Well at least for me it is. I didn't know this part of me until I had this strange dream last night that I was a social outcast.

I didn't fit in with the rest. I was labelled weird. I thought I was doing good, accepted but I thought wrong. It was a weird feeling.

It's scary to think that I find my identity in acceptance by the public at large. What happens if I really one day become a social outcast? Will I still stand?

We need to be rooted and find our identity in Christ. Lord help me do that.

song of the day

Please help me find the balance

When it's rest time, make sure i REST!

This week's to-do list is crazy.

Made some bad decisions but what to do they all came at once. Anyways, excuses excuses aside, I blame myself for it.

101 things to do.

I'm feeling so tired.

Becoming a mother to the kids at home. Cooking, washing, waking up early to prepare breakfast, coach the brother for his final exams, meanwhile have skype meetings, interrupted by thoughts of preparing dinner, time, anxiously wondering whether the firm will call you, sending out more application letters, organising tickets to Ipoh, going to Ipoh this Friday and the list goes on....

Just this week. Having no parents at home, no car, at least the sister drives.

And then having all these thoughts about me not putting enough effort and I may have just caused myself a spot in Shearn, but perhaps its really not where I want to be, but hearing my other friends talk about them starting shearn makes me wanna be there..

ok sorry i'm ranting. I should go pray.

Give your best, Aim high

Rejections are painful!

I just hope those would be signs of close doors. In the meantime, I got to up my preparations. No more lackadaisical job, Esther you need to be motivated again to do your best in everything.

Even in simple job applications, do not take it for granted.

Yes, I am giving myself the pep talk that I much need.

Dear Lord help me!

Lord I want to reach a point where I am willing to lay down my life for the gospel. Help me get there.

WOOWEEE

Relational discipleship, transforming lives!

When they say prayer is KEY, it really is. And there is something powerful about corporate prayer.

Prayer is the key to encountering God. When two or three are gathered to pray, a longing for the Spirit, it will come upon them. When the Spirit fills them, there is power in their prayer. And healing/deliverance takes place. Lives are transformed!

When lives are transformed revival takes place. And when it does, it spreads and spreads and spreads. And soon BOOOMM!!

Oh how wonderful it is to sit at His feet together. When we do, He speaks, He tells us instructions, strategy, His way of doing things. It's just so overwhelming.

Result of 18 hours of prayer over 2 days. Amazing.

I spend more time facebooking than time with God.

I wanna reach a point where I can say I NEED my daily dose of God time.

Lord pwetty please forgive me.

The minute PRIDE comes in, it is the beginning of your downfall.

So be aware.

Lord help me to discern the things of You and things not of You.

Help me see through the evil's plan so I won't fall into his trap.

I want to be use as a weapon for You kingdom, not for evil.

My intentions are good, my intentions are pure. I pray for much guidance, and from the right person, and the right source.

I want to walk closer, ever closer with You in this journey. Time for more training, I can feel it. But this time, I'm not going to enter into the battlefield like I use to do, with aggression and the excitement and just charrrggggeee. I'm wiser. I will dance, if not waltz into the battlefield, singing praise and worship, fix my gaze towards Him, dance and waltz gracefully according to His tempo.

For it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose. Philippians 2:13

what was lost, now restored

There is something stirred when a man stands up and say I will take the lead, I will protect, I will come through, I will fight for my wife and my children. There is something fierce, authoritative!

Hearing my dad share his heart and his convictions to another man, another father. "This is what we should do!" It was masculinity bestowing masculinity.
If the father does not lead, or is not there, security is lost.

As I hear that conversation, something in me was triggered. Something that was taken away from me during my childhood, something that I lost - security, God restored it in me, and my relationship with my dad.

Amazing God.

And they closed in prayer. I admire their strength, it was like 2 soldiers encouraging each other to fight on. A scene to behold indeed. :)

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The Lord is my Shepherd

Sometimes I smile at how cheeky yet loving and sensitive God can be :D

Today's devotion verse was from Psalm 23

I stumbled upon a song my friend posted on facebook. It sings out Psalm 23! Not only He gives me a verse about it, He also sings it out for me in this beautiful song. :)

Ah wonderful!

Femininity can arouse masculinity, but femininity can never bestow masculinity.

If a man searches for his identity to be a man in a woman, he has given her the power to validate him as a man, but also he has given her the power to invalidate him too. That is a dangerous catch.

Quoted.

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Quotes from wild at heart.

Men, th enemy fears you. You are dangerous big time. If you ever really got your heart back, lived it out in courage, you would be a huge problem to him. You would do a lot of damage...on the side of good.

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they go together

A man is a dangerous thing. So is a scalpel. It can wound or it can save your life. You don't make it safe by making it dull, you put it in the hands of someone who knows what he's doing.

A stallion is dangerous all right, but if you want the life he offers, you have to have the danger too. They go together.

Don't emasculate men by making them safe/tame.

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Yes they are overrated :)

I just watched 2 movies back to back today. 2 very different story about love.

The first one was 500 days with Summer. It was quite hilarious, upfront from the beginning the commentator said, this is a story about a boy meets girl, but this is not a love story. So the boy was head over heels with the girl, but the girl wasn't, tried him out and then ended up marrying another guy. At the beginning, the guy was the one with all the ideals about love, but the girl didn't believe in love. At the end at day 480, the girl found her true love, just not with this guy, he was so devastated he didn't believe in love anymore. Her name was Summer. On the 500th day, the moment he thought everything was over, he met this new girl......jeng jeng jeng, and her name was Autumn! HAHA..

The next movie I watched was The Notebook. Not sure how many times I've watched this, but I can never seem to remember the plot until the ending, and every time I watched it, I cry! Here was a love story that lasted forever, in their teens they fell madly in love, until the girl turned old and could hardly remember, he would read to her their story until she remembers, and their love took them away one night, together.

One conclusion: movies are just so overrated....haha but I still watch them :D The Notebook is still a good movie :p

Nothing can separate us from Him

Romans 8:38

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons. neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth. nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

This is God's promise to us, that even if you find yourself going through the darkest period in life, where you have sunk so low, you are numb, to the point of death.....God said, EVEN DEATH cannot separate us from the love of God.

Even when everything doesn't make sense, even when you feel you cannot go on anymore, there seem to be no way out, you cannot feel His presence no more, you think He does not love.....but yet, His words remain true.

Hang on. I know those who are in such a situation and yet they still hang on to that thin line, though they see no light. Such I commend, such are true followers of Christ.

Lord have mercy, save your children, shine your light again. This I pray. All things work out for good.

A good mentor guides, disciples and releases their mentees.

It does not control, but let God take control of their lives. After all, they are to depend on God, not on their mentors.

Wait and see

One thing I learn is that the battle belongs to the Lord.

He always ask us to wait and see. Just like the battles the Israelites faced, the walls of Jericho, fighting their enemy with just 300 men etc.

Our role is to be obedient and do only the things He wants us to do.

He is the commander in chief. He say stop we stop, go and we go, wait and we wait.

The new prayer recruits are just in. I'm so excited!

Things are slowly making more sense. Thank you Lord.

The idea and the heart...

I was speaking to a friend the other day about the importance of the heart, above all else, yes knowledge is good....ideas are good, being practical is good, and a Christian should have both.

But the right heart matters more to God than anything else, as long as the focus of the heart and every action is to glorify His name.

We attended SIB Puchong today. I've always wanted to attend a Bahasa service and lo and behold, today was the day - my very first BM service. :D

The pastor spoke from Mark 14, where Jesus was anointed at Bethany. A woman poured alabaster jar of expensive perfume made of nard (it was worth one year's wage) onto Jesus' head. Some of the others said "Why this waste of perfume? It could have been sold and the money given to the poor?"

The others were right, they had great ideas, ideas that were good. Almost to say we should be good stewards of money, of what is been given to us. But you see, the reason why the woman did what she did was out from a grateful heart, a beautiful heart.

So when a decision boils down between a beautiful heart and a beautiful mind, which one is of more importance?

The pastor said in BM, seseorang yang mempunyai idea yang baik tidak semestinya mempunyai hati yang murni, tetapi seseorang yand mempunyai hati yang baik, ditambah dengan idea yang baik, idea itu akan menjadi lebih baik because it flows from the heart that is right.

Immediately it reminded me of what my dad did. My dad has a heart for God. I really look up to him, no doubt and God sees his heart and acknowledges it. This church that my family has been called to set up, we have no members as of today. The members of the church are literally my family members. Yet my dad has been faithfully renovating the church, he says he does it with joy, gladly....and giving the best back to God. Uses the best tiles and etc.

From the outward, it may seem like a waste of money, it doesn't make sense....but truly what he did is biblical and Jesus acknowledges that.

Jesus said to the others, "Why are you bothering her? She has done a beautiful thing to me."

It all boils down to the focus, and most importantly again the heart. The focus of the heart should be to glorify Him, coupled with the ideas you have. I tell you, when you have that combination, the things you do will flourish. :)

A time for everything

^{Ecclesiastes 3}

¹ There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:

² a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
³ a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
⁴ a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
⁵ a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
⁶ a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
⁷ a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
⁸ a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

Seasons in your life, can you identify what season are you in? The preacher talked about this passage today and below are my notes. It's more personal revelation/confirmation but feel free to browse. :)

1. God is in control of every part of your life, no separating it

ALL things work together for good

Spiritual seasons are divinely appointed

Reason for seasons:

To grow us, to prepare us, to promote us for greater works

2. Worship. No season lasts forever, but what do we do in those seasons? He wants to come alongside us and comfort us. David had a worshiping heart, he can turn everything into worship. By doing this, it leads you into the presence of God, no matter what kind of season you are in, waiting, restoration, learning, equipping, wilderness, draught etc.

3. Submission. Submit to God, resist the devil and he will flee. Not just resisting without submitting.

4. There is change involve when a season ends, don't go back into that season to recoup something from it....move on into the next season.

5. Tending his father's sheep. David received the anointing to be King very early in life but it was years before anything close to it happened. He continued to be a nobody, continued tending his father's sheep. When God choose you, when He puts His hand on you, the things He wants to do through you, He will bring it to pass. All He sees is..the HEART. Being obscure is not an obstacle but a way to promotion.

The right heart is very important. Humility is vital too. David wasn't arrogant that he was the one anointed compared to his other brothers. He didn't demand to be treated any different, or treated special after Samuel anointed him as king.

6. We cannot wear somebody else's anointing/call. David couldn't fit into the huge armor he was offered when he went out to fight Goliath. He just couldn't work in that kind of outfit. He went as himself, and a heart that trusted God.

Fear is false evidence that appears real.

Disappointment is His appointment. Any disappointments that you face, be it with Christians or non-Christians alike, remember, it is all part of His plan. Look it in a different perspective. It is His appointment.

7. It's just the mist. The preacher shared about how she use to drive down this straight road and focus on the castle on the hill. That castle is like our focus on Christ. Sometimes she won't be able to see the castle because there is the mist, but yet the castle is still there behind it. Sometimes we have our focus right, but we can't see/feel Him because of the mist. Yet He is still there, His promises remains. In those times don't lose heart, just hold on to Him and to His promises, the mist will soon lift and you can see the 'castle' again. :)

Unfinished vessel

Whatever I know

Whatever that I have done

Whatever that I am to do in the future

All I count it loss...it is really nothing.

I come bare and naked before you. Striped of all titles, fame and glory. What do I know? I know nothing.

A man with many words and speech is foolish, but the wise listens.

Teach me humility, rid me of my pride.

I am no better than anyone else on this earth, even the non-Christians, for I am a sinner alike. But the difference is I acknowledge You, I know I need You to forgive me.

Without You I am nothing. Elementary yet crucial.

I want to progress in my faith, progress in my walk. This I pray.

Teach me humility, rid me of my pride. I know there is so much more to learn, to twick, clutters that needs to be cleared, sides of my character that needs to be shape according to what is good; to your standard.

So finish what You've started in me. May my heart be obedient to You in the process.

put things into order for me please

I'm waiting yes, at the same time I'm enjoying the present. Taking a day at a time, a week at a time.

Sometimes I feel pointless. But I am doing stuff. But stuff for other people. House chores, help Dad, help mum, meet up friends.

Although the picture is coming together but rather slowly, I get impatient.

I only got through the 1st step out of 8 steps to getting my 'P' license.

It's easier when you are making decisions alone. It's easier when your time is not dependent on family commitments. At the same time I should not be selfish, for my family has gone through a lot to put me through 2 years overseas, it is only right I avail my time now to help around because they really need it. Am I really helping much?

By the time I settle everything, one month's gone already. My mum has been complaining I'm going out a lot, really? I don't think so...

Time is hardly enough when you are back. There will always be demands for your time, but learn to choose wisely.

Lord help me be still before You again. Motivate me. Help me get my life sorted and in order. Help me make sense of what is going on.

suitcases

I've been living out of the suitcase for the past 2 months or so.

Sometimes I wonder can I just continue living out of the suitcase (because I'm a bit lazy to unload and unpack). Haha well the obvious answer is No.

Time to clear up the old stuff in my cupboard to make room for the new. It was easier moving into a new house, where you get an empty room, cupboards and drawers; you just unload. Now you have to clear the space first, that's what's taking me so long.

Can't believe I'm home still, everything else seems normal now, gradually....

Thank You Jesus.

And this week it's job application time and the start of my journey in getting my driving license.

Suitcases reminds me of Gabe's song and so on my playlist atm is his song: Suitcases.

Quite an emo song haha.

Till I scribble here again....

Where I am weak, I cry for help..and I know for SURE You will come through.

Where I am weak, You are strong.

Even when I feel strong but yet feel that I cannot achieve or deliver, You are stronger.

And now let Your name be lifted higher, higher among everything else.

illuminate my path...

when I find it hard to focus Lord will you help me get my head around to do things that are necessary for the time being.

I have to sit back at Your feet again and just worship

Dear Marcus

Here is a rerecorded version of a song Marcus and I co-wrote a few years back....before I left for England.

Now that I'm back, I found out he is leaving to the US for 4 years studying theology and tesol, minoring in psychology. Yet another friend going down the psychology path.

You will be greatly missed Marcus Dip Silas! :)

And here is him singing and on the piano, a song we co-wrote years back.

Here is to you Marcus! All the best next year! For now, it's catch up time bro!

:)

1Malaysia

The
Plan 11 conference was great!

Realised I have so much prejudices to deal with - all those social and racial prejudices! Had to lay it all down and ask Him to change my mindset and my heart - to be able to love these people.

Anyways, went swimming the other day and met a 3 1/2 year old Malay girl who was very talkative. I was teaching my brother how to swim when we swam past her and heard her say something something 'bodoh' (stupid in Malay), but instead I spoke to her and soon befriended her....and she asked me "Kamu Melayu ke Cina?" (Are you Malay or Chinese?) I was quite shocked by that question. As young as 3, they are influenced or taught how to differentiate. And I said "Kakak Cina" and she replied "Jadilah Melayu!" (asking me to become a Malay) and I said we are all Anak Bangsa Malaysia (Malaysian children), we are all the same regardless of race.

And halfway through our conversation again she asked me "Kakak kerja Cina ke kerja Melayu?" I really didn't know how to answer that question.

But it's sad to see that racism is so blatant and thrown at us from such a young age. I'm sure it's not just in Malaysia, but other countries as well. It is a barrier we need to deal with, our prejudices, those walls need to be teared down, if not how else can we show His love to them?

I wish to see more of these in Malaysia, that it's okay to be colour blind :D

what the goal is

The ultimate goal is worship because when all this ends, when Jesus comes again, there will be no more missions or ministry, it would be pure worship unto the King!

Sometimes its not so much of praying for directions and waiting for God to speak...if we just worship Him and enjoy His presence, He will answer us according to His perfect time.

The goal is worship. To see people having that intimate time with Him.

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Teh tarik time

I am home and still getting use to things around.

It's good so far. Now that my sis can drive and the parents are away most nights for classes, we get to spend a lot of 'sibling time' together, the 3 of us.

Drive to get dinner, drive out to "yum cha", drive the brother to tuition, drive the brother back.

Haha...great times.

And my brother has really grown, in stature and in speech!

I appreciate Malaysia so much more, yes take it in, the good and the bad. When I was here, I use to complain a lot about the bad side of this country, but it has so much good in it too. I think Malaysians nowadays realise that and want to stand together to change what's bad, to improve things.

Saw this advert by Digi on facebook to be quite touching. :)

Well done digi :)

Cheers to forgiveness!!

The return

How do I feel about going home? As of now, I feel recharged! But also keeping in mind the things I've learnt here, about rest, careful not to jump straight into things back home.

But what I see is an adventure lying ahead.

Come what may, I have the Lord by my side. And in time He will lead me to where I need to be :)

Another chapter of life ready to be closed and a new one awaits. But the Lord remains through it all. :p

Last night here in Slough, in England, I am thankful.

Bringing back lots of dresses, korean nongshim instant noodles, and a year's supply of English Tetley tea!

I bid thee farewell England, till I return again....someday...

I will miss the accent....I think...haha (not Perry Barr, not fish and chips....well...maybe fish and chips..)

And to end this journey and this post...a song about Our Great God that seen me through my two years here and all through my law degree!

2 more days....

I'm going home tomorrow!!!

Yea after all the drama England has caused me...*aherm, actually the troubles I get myself into* I think I am done with you England.

Pretty excited about coming home now after talking to Jess Kan. One thing I really appreciate is that though I was away for 2 years, I still feel connected somehow back home, even with all the changes that took place.

My British friend told me, "Don't miss England too much, you can for awhile, but really there is nothing g8 here." I LOLed.

But really, the experiences I've had 2 years here will be one that will remain with me for a long time.

Driving lessons, thePlan 11 conference, home, friends, getaways, food.....I'm looking forward to it.

Now just pray that my departure will all be smooth okay.....no more drama.

I'm comingg homee, I'm comingg home, tell the world I'm comingg homee...

I will still miss the people I've met in and out ..... thank goodness keeping in touch is made easier with technology. :)

See past all my unanswered questions

See past all my struggles

See past it....I see Jesus.

He said shh, I still love you the same and always will. Come now, don't you worry everything is going to be alright.

And He comforts me there and then.

And I just rest.

Your love has made us one.

In a world of uncertainty, our trust is in a faithful God who will always keep His promises.

ODB

Don't fall for rotten mangoes

Shrek 4 thought me something about temptations.

Shrek was living the "and they live happily ever after" life. He's got a wife, 3 adorable ogre babies and a whole village that simply adores him.

But he wasn't happy for some reason. He missed his old life, where he could take a mud bath in peace, where he roars and everyone will run in fear, where life was simpler, no responsibilities...when he was alone, when he had nothing of this sort of "happiness".

Fiona said "You've got everything, why is it that you are the only person who doesn't see that"

There is one line that Shrek says "We don't know what we've got till we lose it," when he realised he gave up everything to the evil Rumplestilkskin, that is so true isn't it.

I've got to admit sometimes in my walk, I have the temptation to want to rebel, what's it like over the other side, to want to return to my old life, the way I was when I did not know Jesus, where things were...."simpler" where I don't have to wait and linger around for an answer, where things were just 'natural' and not so spiritual, where I decide for myself what's going to happen.

But I tell you, don't fall into the trap that Satan puts for us. Don't be like Shrek. He fell for the trap, there was a catch behind the contract that he signed with Mr. R that ruined his "perfect" life he had before. The contract looks pretty good, but wrapped up with all evil in mind, presented to you, and a voice saying...sign it sign it, sign away your life to evil....muahahhaaha!

Okay, being a bit too dramatic there. But if you watched the show, it was exactly how it went.

So if you're having those voices telling you stuff like that, shusshh it with verses from the bible! Remember the word of God is like a double edged sword. Stand firm, wave it at the enemy, with Jesus' authority, they will flee in fear.

Ogre roar anyone? Or ogre horn! :D

Shrek 3 was awesome..as usual :)

Just finished watching Shrek 4 and this song really caught my attention.

Love the combination of their voices and their style.



You should check out their other songs. I'm so going to buy both their albums when I get home... :)

Yay to new songs.

Unmerited favour

This is such an amazing song shared by Melissa on facebook, I just had to put it up here :D

Run the mile!

Okay so I said briefly to my uncle that I hadn't been exercising since ages ago. So I wanna go running. So he said okay we'll go. And my uncle is quite fit, probably more fit than me. So he asked, how long can you go? 1 hour?

@@

I use to run long distance, well that was back in high school, 3-4 years ago. 1400m. And the most I've ran is 3km (merentas desa).

I said I could run non-stop for 10 mins, max half an hour.

So he took me to Black Park, a forestry park with a lake, nice to walk and also jog. We started warming up and he said, okay we'll do the outer part of the park *showing me the map, and run through the lake and back. I asked "How long is that?" "5km" he said.

"whh...whhaatt?!" I said "I've never done 5km non-stop before..."

"Well there's always a first," he said and started.

Oh boy, what have I gotten myself into. But I ran, slowly paced myself and my breath. The good thing is I don't know the route so I just focused on running and pacing myself.

So I did it! 5km non-stop, more than an hour. We even had to detour because someone was burning something and there were road blocks. So I think in total it was a bit more than 5 km.

Felt so tired but never felt healthier! There were times when I felt like giving up and stopping. But I knew if I stopped, I'd run out of breath and momentum.

So now I've done it I can brag about it! Hahah. Will I do it again? Well of course! .... umm, maybe....we'll see. Lol

Here's to my first 5km non-stop! Cheers.

bring da house dowwnnn...

I had the whole house to myself today!

Was suppose to go down to London to collect my sport shoes today, but decided I will give it away. *sobs* I really liked the sport shoes though.

Anyways, when you have the whole house to yourself, what do you do?!?

Well for me it's the perfect time to do some serious praying, own praise and worship without being scared you'd disturb anybody! *sing as loud as you want, pray as loud as you want, cry as much as you want, dance around as crazy as you like*

God spoke again today :) Amen!

Then cooked myself some pasta, fusion style! The things I do when I'm alone. I actually fried the pasta with garlic, onions, tomatoes, some madras sauce, oyster sauce, thyme, basil and some oregano. It turned out great, add some chilli oil to it when you are done.

And then watched 2 movies, listened to some John Piper sermons and put on Casting Crowns for the rest of the day, dancing to the beat and praising Him oh yea!

Definitely a fruitful day. Good time to recharge. :D

Monday heading down to meet some friends for the last time. Looking forward! :p

I am loving, enjoying every bit of free time I have.

the problem with the same sin

"There is no point if I come and ask for forgiveness, I go away and then do the same thing again..and again, and the cycle continues, because men are not perfect."

Then brother/sister, my question is, what keeps a person from sinning? Is it not JESUS?

If you keep falling into the same sin over and over again, then that part of your life needs reviewing.

Have you really surrendered that part of your life to Him?

Have you dealt with that sin altogether?

Are you using your own strength, mind and ability to conquer that sin instead of letting God set you free?

Are you really putting God first in your life?

what have I to boast but Christ alone

Explore it

It's good to question, but don't just stop at questioning and never make the effort to find the answer.

People say there is no answer to some questions, like how did Mary who was a virgin had a baby? I disagree.

Yes there is, if you explore further WITH AN OPEN HEART you will begin to see things differently, if you allow Him to, and then accept the answer that it was indeed the hand of God. It is by faith. Faith that does not just come out randomly from no where, but from God as the source.

If it is not logical, it's supernatural, it's God. That's an answer, whether you like it or not, whether you see it or not. How do you then explain how some people can see it and believe it supernaturally if it is not true?

"Some people have faith, but I don't think I'm that kind of person." Don't let this be a reason to stop you from experiencing Him. If it is, it is a waste. Again, be open to explore, and see what He can do in your life.

Don't stop at questioning. make the effort to explore. You've all to gain and none to loose.

Be faithful in the little things

Hey God laid aside His majesty, gave up everything for us, suffered at the cross of those whom He created.

We are not willing to even give up parts of our lives i.e. our dream, our work, our plans, our career, our pride when we are ask to for God. Not to mention ourselves, our lives.

The giving up part is the hardest. But you know it will yield good results, it will do you good in the long run.

May not be what you expect but hey, you should know by now how He operates.

Learn to give up the small things first before you even say Lord I will give up my life for the gospel. You will never give up big things if you are not willing to first give up small things.

Watered down

We live in a society that emphasises so much on efficiency, convenience and self.

Everything is being watered down to suit those themes.

In the west, the importance of filial piety, family values and discipline is being watered down. It's illegal for parents to lay their hands on their children because they've got their rights etc etc...self. Children here have that mentality that I can do what I want because I've got a right to etc etc.

Globally, the importance of face to face contact is being watered down because we now have facebook, emails, whatsapp and what not. The value of facial expressions, gesture, quality time spent, good conversations etc etc is being watered down. Social networking online is the new trend.

In church, the importance of the gospel is sometimes being watered down also...sadly. People preach the prosperity gospel to suit what our itching ears want to hear. Come to Jesus because He can provide for you, not first recognising that you are a sinner and you need Him, He is the only way we can escape judgment and be forgiven. Yes He indeed provides because He is our Provider, He can bless you with what you want, if you pray according to His will and with the right heart and motive, He will bless. But my question is, which comes first, and why do you believe in Jesus for.

I don't want a watered down version of the gospel. I don't want a watered down version of Jesus. Lord I'll take you as it is, even the harsh parts of the gospel, the reality of sin, the reality of severe punishment, the-not-so-nice-things-to-hear. Why? Because I know along with it also comes grace, hope and forgiveness.

:)

You can't tell someone to believe in something when you yourself don't or are skeptical about it.

being a little emo

I think one thing I will miss when I leave here is the friends I've made.

Nevermind those who I know I will see when I go back to Malaysia, but really the ones from other parts of the world......people that I know I won't be able to see for the next couple of years.

This year I managed to meet many more non-Malaysians. Some of whom I am able to share live experiences with, walk with them in their faith, pray with them etc and really get to know them on a deeper level.

People like Alison, Jinny and Lyn whom God has placed in my life. Will miss them greatly.

Funny that this year I am more exposed to a lot of China Chinese people. Well perhaps also because I go to a Chinese church. :) *like duhhh, smacks head*

Anyhows, been such a blessed year. Will blog about reflections perhaps when I'm about to leave :)

Woots for now good night!!! I'm turning nocturnal.....awh, preping myself so I don't get jetlagged...lol

turn on the lights!

I heard this from somewhere, when a coat is hanging in front of the cupboard in the dark, it looks like a figure, its scary!

But when the light is on, when light is shone on it, you see its nothing but a coat, all fear is gone :)

Will you allow Jesus to be that light in your life?
Allow him to shine some light into the area of darkness in your life, expose the evil and it will flee in Jesus' name!

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save by grace through faith in Jesus

Isaiah 30
Hv u ever felt somewhat like the Israelites? Stubborn

When I was reading this passage, halfway thru I went, "the Israelites are so doomed" in other words, "i'm doomed" I deserve His wrath His punishment. Gosh been roaming around the wilderness for so long now, waiting and waiting for God's sign and the sign of the promise land...and how so many times I, like the israelites doubt Him, revert to my old ways of thinking, my old self, you know, come on, after all God has done fr the Israelites, save them, perform all those miracles, yet they still revert bck to the old.

Vs 15 in repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength, but you would have none of it.

To me it sounded like the limit already. That's it, enough chances given, now dieee...

But vs 18 says: yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; He rises to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him!

Vs 20 although the Lord gives you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, your teachers WILL BE HIDDEN NO MORE; with your own eyes you will see them. Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you saying, "This is the way; walk in it." Then you will defile your idols overlaid with silver and your images covered with gold; you will throw them away like a menstrual cloth and say to them, "Away with you!"

Something good can develop to be an idol. Even the area of relationship, and I know its a common struggle. It is a daily surrender. Trying to balance between the extremes; for it not to become an idol, and the other end, avoiding it totally and not loving at all. Both are bad and not the way to go.

Again its like the tight rope! To balance, focus on one point, Jesus. At times you will feel like falling to either end or tilting towards either end, but Jesus helps you keep the balance, moving frm one point to the other.

Listen out for Him...and He will surely show you the way.
It may take longer, it may be a battle of your desires, but I can assure you, He will come thru just as He did for me. Though its a grey area, but we are never and will never be left without guidance if we ask. You will come to a point where God's instructions are clear, a voice saying "this is the way, walk in it"

It can be decisons or whatsoever, but in essence its Jesus the way the truth and the light. with that in mind, with Jesus' authority, you can desecrate whatever idols you hv in ur life.

The Lord reigns!

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Better than I

Vivien shared this song with me :)

Now I'm sharing this with all of you reading. All you loyal readers...hehe, be blessed.

reminders

We need reminders because we forget.

I so need Jesus because I can never and will never attain perfection God's standard...

BUT I will never stop trying to be more and more like Jesus, and to follow His example.

That's why we have reminders. THANK GOODNESS for reminders.

On the other hand...

Lord help me hear and when I hear, put it into practice. Don't wanna be one of those who hears, rejoice, and then goes away and forgets.

imma mighty warrior!

God has more faith in us than we do ourselves...

He said to Gideon "the Lord is with you, mighty warrior." Judges 6:12
He called Gideon a mighty warrior.

Gideon was from the weakest clan and the least in his family..he didn't really felt he could be the one to save Israel..he didn't felt like he was a warrior at all, though God called him that.

But God knew who he was, he created Gideon for this vr purpose, this task!

Gideon then asks for a sign and God gave him confirmation. Vs 17-24.

Imma warrior in God's eyes, we all are in some ways or another.

Rawr! Must put on the armour of God!

*transforms*

I wanna discover who I am in Christ!

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When God speaks you can't help but be in awe, not just that, overflowing with awe...and in my case...flood myself with tears!

He said it is done....victory is already ours.

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is there something that I want to change about myself?

YESSSSSS

I want to stop being forgetful...this in Jesus name!!

puhleeaaasseeee

:(

Don't look down!

Joshua 1:6-9

⁶ Be strong and courageous, because you will lead these people to inherit the land I swore to their ancestors to give them.

⁷ “Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go. ⁸ Keep this Book of the Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. ⁹ Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.”

I don't have to be afraid, I don't have to be discouraged.

I need to be strong and very courageous.

It's a rough world out there, competitive.

Who says you're not good enough? On whose standard are you comparing yourself to?

God is on your side, remember this.

There is already a job out there for you, chosen specifically for you. And that is where He wants you to be. It's not that you're not good enough, it's just not the place for you to be.

I have just the right credentials for the right job.

Focus on Jesus!!! Walk the tight rope, don't look down.

Think Joseph!

Think Joseph!

God said He will elevate Joseph to a place of influence

but look where he was before that? Places that were very unlikely to end up in a place of influence.

Did he try to fulfill God's prophecy on his own?

No...he waited and remained faithful, even if things did not seem like it's heading towards what God promised.

Think Joseph!

sometimes i think i give up even before trying

got to change that mindset!

If God is for you, who can be against you.

Now Lord would you help me as I fill in my applications and do more research on other opportunities out there.

One thing I find it hard when filing in job applications is to persuade someone to hire you by selling yourself.

Tell them how good you are, what you can do, how will you be beneficial to the company.

One, I'm a fresh graduate who doesn't have much job experience (only internships)

Two, I find it hard to sell myself, to see what I can do, as inadequate as I feel I am, I then start to question, Esther what are you really good at?

A lot of what I can do is always either above average but not excellent.

Jack of all trades, master of none.

I'd like to take the easy route out. Really Esther? No challenge?

Lord help me in my thought process please....let me not fall into the Devil's trap and his lies.

Pretty easily inflouenced

Can it be true that we are influence in the way we blog through reading other people's blog?

I think so, haha well at least for myself, to a certain degree...

Uniqueness...where art thou?

Call pictures

my lovely guests - Voon Yuan and Angeline :)

and yes, called to the English bar and a member of Lincolns Inn as of

28/7/2011.

Cheers daddy, I hope you are proud of your investment. Haha, would love for you to be here but I know you've always been there for me, right from day 1 of law school.

To my family, thank you for all the support and prayers.

I made it. Praise God. :)

am I really alone when I'm on my own?

Earphones on, eyes on their handphones..oh wait, they're called smartphones. It's harder to spark any conversations on trains or anywhere else. Having those on just ease the fact that you are travelling alone. At least you look like you have something to do.

That's the trend now...

Well I find myself doing things alone increasingly a lot lately. It's quite an experience, considering I don't quite like doing things alone. But I found out that it isn't as bad as I thought. :)

I observe my surroundings more, analyse things more, and yes daze off at times too...daydreaming. :)

Well you caught me, here I am blogging on my phone, in about the same category as the people above, jst minus the headphones.

Wonder how many of us are like that? Being afraid of loneliness. How many actually know, believe and feel that we are never alone, that Jesus is there wherever we go.

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The call day!

This was it.

Just when I thought the day would run smoother, there were more hiccups.

Oh gosh I tell you, but I thank the Lord for the day really.

Got to Holborn station at 1.45pm and I was suppose to meet up with Angeline but she was not there. Waited half an hour and called her like 10 times but she didn't picked up. So I went over to Edes and Ravenscroft to buy my collar for the ceremony and by the time I was finished it was 3pm. I haven't had my lunch, couldn't contact her, didn't know where she was, and I was running late. Most of them were there already taking pictures etc.

So finally she calls back after having 19 miss calls from me (I was beginning to worry now) and casually said she was at Piccaddily circus station with Voon Yuan and she thought I said I arrived in London at 1.45pm. So by the time they got to Holborn, it was 3.15pm ish and we ate and then head to Lincoln's.

I happily strolled into the hall and found out that I couldn't get my gown because it was closed already. It was open from 2pm - 4pm (I arrived a few minutes pass 4). So I didn't have my gown, couldn't take pictures with no gown, but I took some anyway, and had to wait until the ceremony was about to start to get my gown.

Wow. Crazy enough huh. So the ceremony then started, got called, and I asked my friend to record it, but the recording was blur because it was not in focus (so sorry daddy, but you can still see the process).

After the ceremony paid £40 to get my studio photo done, waited so long for it and then my friends had to leave, felt so bad because did not spend so much time talking to them.

It was chaotic.

But it ended well. Bryan and Bruce was kind enough to offer to send me home all the way to the other side of London. They did the first time and now it's the second time, and for that I'm so grateful. And also because my phone battery was about to die and I needed to call Angela who was going to pick me up from the station! Thank goodness had these guys there with phones that were not dead!

Above all, God came through, HE PROVIDES!!

And yes, the camera? It was the exact same model as mine :D How amazing. Praise God. I'm so happy to be called today. Savoured each moment of it, though it was rather chaotic. It always happen to me on big days. Last year's graduation ceremony was also rather hectic. Gosh I hope my wedding day would turn out good next time.

An SD card

A camera

2 bodyguards sending me home

Having my best friend (Angeline) and Voon Yuan for my call

A place to stay overnight

Money to complete this course

Passing the BPTC

Getting called!

And for my future job!!!

I praise You for all the above. It's You, it's You it's all YOU. Amen!

He provides!

What is it with me and my forgetfulness I don't know...
But today I learn to react calmly despite the chaos i cause upon myself.
Well this is not the first time being forgetful has gt me into trouble.

Of all the events, I forgot to bring my camera fr my call. Not that I didn't rmbr at all. I made sure I reminded myself in the morning as well, Bt I was....again...in a rush that I didn't put it into my bag.

I was mad, mad at myself. If my parents were here, they wud be nagging at me already.

But then I prayed. I said Lord you owe all the cameras in the world, would you provide me jst one?

I texted Leena, but she did not reply. I was nervous, frustrated and just going thru all my possible contacts in London fr a camera in case leena says she doesnt hv an extra.

I prayed again n He said something very familiar to me, "Trust me"
Has He ever failed me? No, never....He always answers prayer, unless its of my own want for all the wrong reasons.

Although I was still a bit 'tension', I calmed down in the end, told myself: the Lord will provide, trust Him.

Last night I even found my fren's SD card which I thought was lost. A coincidence?
I don't think so....but very timely!

He knew I would forget my camera on this day, He planned ahead of me, provided me with an SD card and an extra camera! I know Leena has the same camera as mine, she jst bought it this yr. If that is the camera she's going to be handing me to use, it wud be such a testimony! Partly Bcz her parents own a dslr. But other cameras wud be as good too! :)

Praise God indeed! Now I hope everything else runs smoothly!

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To God be the glory

Why do parents set rules for their children? Why do parents spend time teaching their children or disciplining their children? Is it for the mother or father's own good? Well certainly it's for the child's own good.

But you know when you are a child, you don't really understand this. It's until you get a bit older, or when you become a parent yourself that you realise this.

Deuteronomy 10:12-20

And now, O Israel, what does the Lord your God ask of you but to:

1. fear the Lord your God

2. to walk in ALL His ways

3. to love Him

4. to serve the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul

5. to observe the Lord's commands and decrees that I am giving you today

for your own good?

All these are for our own good.....God is trying to keep us from sin, which in turn brings judgment upon ourselves, which is...essentially, bad for us.

There is no "why" to it, because it's just how it works. The wages of sin is death - it's a fact. Don't we see it? All these are for our own good. It's not that God wants to gain fame or glory or anything, He doesn't need us to get glory, His glory is already in existence by itself!

His intention is to be God by upholding and displaying His glory - this is evident in the gospel itself, by Jesus dying on the cross. Read Romans 3:21-27.

The righteousness of God is the unwavering commitment to uphold and display the infinite value of His glory (quoted from John Piper).

And we, how do we fit in? We are to join Him in His intention to display His glory.

1 Cor 10:31 - do all for the glory of God.

In other words, we live life, God gets the glory. His glory is displayed through us.

Jesus died for us, we are free from sin...glory goes to God.

Do ministry in a way that we are always having to depend on Him, so He gets the glory not us.

Ok, so how does it all connect? Those guidelines above are set for us, for our own good, it is His word to remind us for our own good about sin, and if we hear AND obey His word, it will only do us good no harm (Matt 7:24-28 - the wise and foolish builders)....

but more so, His glory will be shown through us, that's the ultimate purpose. Back to the famous saying "it's not so much about us, but all about Him."

God is so unbelievably patient with us, yes with me...

Gosh, I would have given up on me loong time ago...thank goodness He is not like that.

:) I will not take that for granted.

Imagine trying to nurture a child who is hyperactive and doesn't listen to you half the time. We are all like that child somehow.

But hey seriously, let's not test His patience...

Word of God speak!

I'm finding myself at a loss for words
And the funny thing is it's okay
The last thing I need is to be heard
But to hear what You would say

[CHORUS]
Word of God speak
Would You pour down like rain
Washing my eyes to see
Your majesty
To be still and know
That You're in this place
Please let me stay and rest
In Your holiness
Word of God speak

I'm finding myself in the midst of You
Beyond the music, beyond the noise
All that I need is to be with You
And in the quiet hear Your voice

[REPEAT CHORUS 2x]

I'm finding myself at a loss for words
And the funny thing is it's okay

I await I await

In You I await...

Am I really taking the easy way out?

Is this what He wants me to do, or is it just going back to my comfort zone?

Imma floating but floating with the Lord...hopefully I'll reach the shores soon :)

To build my life around Jesus.

Him being the center.

I admit it's so hard to be consistent and discipline...Lord help me, please.

Prepare me Lord the remainder of these weeks

Let my heart find rest in You

and Your peace

Oh sweet Jesus, sweet sweet Jesus

Be near to me

Embrace me

Be real to me

Walk with me

I know You are doing all that

As I sit here in quietness, may Your Spirit fall on me....rain on me...minister Lord

Quench my thirst

Fill me with Your living water

Empower me to do the things You've set before me, not for my glory....no...never, but Yours alone.

This I pray. Amen.