what hasn't changed?

where do i even start...
i'm not even too sure what was happening the last time i blogged, but if you didn't guess from my absence, just about everything has changed. i went back to work in the icu while thomas was in the middle of a work frenzy. with family help, we made it work for me to train on day shift and get all my studying done, after 12 long weeks i went to night shift and have settling well into working my 3 nights a week. not long into that big adjustment, we started looking at possibly buying a new house. that second income was burning a hole in our pockets. we decided to only settle on our dream home, made a list and spent a lot of sundays driving around, scouting and talking while baby girl napped.
to make a long story short, we happened upon our dream home, everything happen to fall into place and the rest is really all a stressful (buying a house now, not to mention a second home, is a little more stressful now than it was 9 years ago) history. we have now been in our new home for 2 months are a settling in well.

besides new adventures in mom going back to work and moving to a new home, we have now become the owners of a small vineyard and we are setting off in learning the ways of wine farming. we figure there's about a 3 year learning curve...but we're going to drink the crap in between and hopefully have something really tasty to share. good and bad, we hope to document our adventures here (with a little extra about the baby). p.s. for some reason this 'new' blogger isn't so great with picture formatting...and all you get are instagram photos until i have some regular internet.

Fat Cat

We have two cats, they are fat.
Our boy, he hides.
Our girl, she is social.
This is our fat girl cat, she drives me nuts. If I kick her off my bed she tries to scale the side of the crib, she is too fat to jump.
My baby is sweet, she sleeps in her crib now. I may kill the fat cat if she tries scaling again. Probably not, but maybe...just saying.

Some Things, Mostly Random

Thomas got to spend the weekend at home. He has been working more than should be allowed, we were more than happy that he was home for two *whole* days. I know the next 2.5 months are going to fly by and then maybe we can have more of these kinds of days. 

Gianna has taken up an interest in food and drinks. It looks like she is trying to get her toy, when in fact, she is attempting to get Thomas's coffee. Silly baby. 

She rubs the back of her head, I love it. 

Nap times are more regular,

so I've been eating lunch on a more regular basis.  

I found this in the driveway yesterday, we woke up to snow this morning. Again, MAKE UP YOUR MIND!! 

Groundhog, Groundsmog....Stupid Animal

One day its sunny and the asparagus are starting to show up, 

then wham!! Snow and ice...just make up your mind crazy bipolar weather. 

On a lighter note, everything baby girl can get her hands is still going into her mouth. She does it with such excitement each time as well, like its a brand new adventure. It keep her busy...that's all I can say. 

She likes to play with my hands while she is sitting in my lap...love those little slobbery fingers. 

Smiles have been abundant. 

I started to research and put together a 'home management' binder. 

Which brought on a list making fury. 

Yes, I eat the bigger chips and put the small ones back...don't judge me. 

And a green-eyed monster, just for fun. 

Gianna's Story

I would like to disclose that I have been writing this post for over a month, I have mixed feelings about posting it...I don't often share my very deep personal experiences with many people, definitely don't display them online. But I've come to the conclusion that I'm doing this for me and my family (since I intend on getting my blog printed into some kind of journal yearly, we'll see how that works out) and documenting a very special time. Here she goes-

I would like to take a post to think back on the end of last year. It has been difficult for me to write this post  because it's filled with many emotions, but it was pretty epic for our little family and something I want to immortalize into blog land.
I need to start back in October. Hang with me, there will be some not so terribly related things that I just want to remember and some things that may seem completely unrelated but it will all come together in the end....
My sister came out to surprise me for my baby shower. Thomas and his mom knew about it and only told Grandma Bea (because she claims her heart can't handle surprises...we think she just likes to know what is going on;) and one of my cousins. They all kept it to themselves, so everyone was surprised when I showed up for the shower with her. I think she was here just less than a week and such a great help. We had the baby's room whipped together in no time. It was such precious time that we got to spend together without having to be anywhere or any major plans. I guess that's the glory of a surprise visit.
About two weeks after that my step-dad passed away. It wasn't terribly unexpected, but it wasn't a planned event either. He had been ill over the last year, and we knew that his lung disease would take him from us...but it was much earlier than anyone had anticipated. I don't think I will ever forget that day, the last words we said to each other, how I knew that I should drive my mom to the hospital and not let her go alone and when I came in the back doors of the ED and heard the code bell ringing that it wouldn't be a good night. I haven't walked through the ED since then, but I know my job will take me back to that place and it will be difficult. The first time one of my patients quietly passes into the next phase of our journey, it will be difficult. It will change the way I help people welcome death, maybe because I had hoped his would be so different - more quite, less machines, less urgent phone calls and quick airline ticket purchases - maybe more family standing around instead of  hospital employees. And because I had hoped it would be at a much later date - he was such a proud Grandpa. He really loved my sister's sons and I was so excited to have him hold our little girl. In the last 10 weeks or so of my pregnancy he would light-up every time he looked at my growing belly and tell me how cute I was. And we always joked about his 'growing' belly. Very selfishly, I was so devastated that they wouldn't ever have the chance to meet. But I know he got the best care that he could have been given in the ED. Believe me, this 36 week pregnant, already outspoken nurse wouldn't have let it go down any other way. Everything was tried before efforts were stopped.
That untimely event meant that my sister, and brother this time, came up for a visit. There was thought my sister might just stay until the rest of her family made their way up, but she ended up going back for just about 2 weeks and they all came together. Life settled back down again over the next few weeks and the upcoming arrival of our little girl was a good distraction for everyone in our family. Earlier in the year, two of my uncles passed away. I kept telling my sister I can't wait to tell everyone I am pregnant because our family needs some good new so bad, and it was true. That little growing nugget continued to be the good news and light of hope we all needed throughout the rest of the year.
The frequent visits my sister made over that month allowed us to get some shopping and planning done for Christmas gifts and gave me something to focus on doing while I waited...as patently as I could. I wasn't necessarily sure I was ready for all of things that were about to happen, but I was surely done being pregnant.
My due date came and went, and 3 days later I was sure that baby wasn't even going to come, so I just kept crafting away. Sunday night I sat at the table and cried to Thomas about how much I was done being pregnant and I was sad because we thought for sure he wouldn't be going to back to work that week because we would have the baby that weekend. We finished the weekend by watching Elf and went to bed...but I didn't go to sleep that night.
Thomas got up around 2 to go to the bathroom and I promptly told him I hadn't slept at all that night, just wasn't tired. He snuggled in next to me and I was able to sleep for about an hour or so. Around 3:30ish he got up again to go to the bathroom and I had a contraction. I got out of bed, and had another and another. Thomas came back into our room and I broke the news that I didn't think he would be going to work that day. He started timing my contractions and they were lasting about a minute and about three to five minutes apart, consistently. Around 4:30 he called our doula, Kathy, and she decided it would be wise for her to come over. We went downstairs to clean-up the left over craft mess I had out from the night before and I decided to get into the shower and relax a bit (and if I was truly going to the hospital I needed to shower...its a family thing, we all do it). Just as I was getting out of the shower Kathy arrived so I went downstairs and we talked between my contractions and she would get up and walk with me during my contractions. I spend a lot of my contracting time leaning on a kitchen table chair, swaying back and forth. It was dark and quite in our house and the animals paced back and forth. It was so nice to have Kathy with us, she was able to focus on me while Thomas did a little work and got himself and everything ready for the hospital. They took turns helping me stay relaxed and encouraged that my body knew what to do and I just needed to let it. Kathy encouraged me to drink and eat a little something when I could before we went to the hospital, but I wasn't able to keep much down. It wasn't horrible like a flu sickness, I wasn't even really nauseated, my stomach just didn't like having anything in it. Around 9 Thomas thought we should go to the hospital so I could get some IV fluids before I became too dehydrated. We loaded and drove to the hospital as just 'a couple' for the last time.
The car ride was horrible, by far the worst part of the entire birthing experience. Checking in a the hospital was the next. Thomas was quite upset with the unit coordinator that kept answering the phone as I labored at the desk, so much that he had to ask her to stop answering the phone and focus on our paper work so I could get out of the waiting area. It went much quicker after that.
The nurse that was working in triage, Karen called me back and realized that she knew me (long story). I made it pasted the double doors into the unit and had a contraction in the hallway. Having contractions while checking in and in the waiting area wasn't very appealing. I really didn't like the idea of everyone watching me while my body was working on getting a baby out. The hallway was about on the same level, not very private and people staring at you, which if you have learned anything by adulthood, it should be that that is definitely not the time to gawk at a pregnant woman. I informed everyone around me that I was likely to vomit again and we skipped the whole triage room and went straight into the last labor room that was available. I quickly took off my clothes and was hooked-up to a fetal monitor. Baby girl was plugging along well. I don't really remember a whole lot about the exact series of events for the next 20-30 minutes, but I was admitted, got an IV, and we found out I was 7, almost 8 cm dilated. I remember feeling instant relief. I was worried that I would only be 4 cm dilated and I wasn't too sure I could handle another 10 hours of labor.

Because I hadn't needed any pain medication I was free to get up and move about, so we decided I should try out the tub. I stayed in the tub, relaxing between contractions. I do clearly remember sitting up in the tub and telling Thomas that something was very different. I think that was the end of the relaxed state I was able to keep myself in because I felt this intense pressure. (Hello transition) Again the next bit of time was a blur, I knew time was passing, but for me everything stood still and for a brief second I thought to myself, "Oh my word, what are you doing?  You are really going to have a baby, this is the last time you will look at Thomas as just your husband and these are last few moments we will be just a couple. After this you will be parents and responsible for this little life." After that contraction I got settled in bed and the nurse told me I could start pushing, I asked if there was anything I could get for pain and the only option left was an epidural. (Again, transition) I declined, it was about 10 to noon and I pushed for the first time. About 30 minutes later she was almost out. Another very clearly remember moment, the Dr. told me to push one more time really well and the baby would be out, she promised - all the pain would be gone, all of the pressure, discomfort and burning would disappear with that one push. She was right with the next push her little head was out and I was helping the Dr. pull the baby out and onto my belly. She was right about all that stuff disappearing, but I don't think I would remember if it wasn't. I had my baby girl and she was perfect and beautiful and we were a family of three. It was amazing and there are not human words that could even begin to describe how I felt. After all of the obligatory drying, weighing, measuring and getting mama all fixed up the nurse had us snuggle skin to skin.

People often talk about the veil between life and death being thin from time to time. Maybe moments when you need a little extra help from the beyond or maybe when your soul is calm and your heart is open- I had one of those moments during that time - realized how very precious one breath can be. How that one breath can separate those that are here, those that have gone and those that are yet to be.  It was in that very quite time, I was able to look at the little thing I made and inspect her. She looked at me and I knew why she was four days late. Her little spirit was up with Grandpa, he had held her and they had smiled together and he wasn't ready to give her up to us. I swear there was a little extra twinkle in her eye from him, just like when he would look at me.
While hindsight is 20/20, the journey isn't necessarily easy. I always try to chalk things up to one big life lesson (sometimes that keeps on giving;) that my timing isn't always the timing that is meant to be. While I had wanted nothing more than for this moment to happen so many months and years before, it wasn't all about what I needed. In fact, it was more about what other people needed. The joy of our little baby was needed by so many other people too.

Cool Baby Tricks

 Everything that she can get her hands on, including her hands goes in her mouth. 

Sitting up in her Bumbo and Baby Einstein and getting so strong with holding her neck up. 

And in the last few nights, sleeping for a huge stretch of time. 

So sweet when they are sleeping. 

Winner Winner Enchilada Dinner

PW Enchiladas + my own taco seasoning = Delicious 

Salsa - 2 posts in 2 day...hold on to your sombreros

Ooooh, my first food post. I found this salsa recipe online and made it before we left for California. It was delicious, we both loved it so much I think it will replace buying salsa for our household. I always love when I find a recipe that replaces something we buy pre-made, mostly because then I know what's going into it and I can control more of the 'bad stuff' - salt, sugar, fat... (you know the stuff that tastes really good) and I had to add my own twist on the recipe. 

The best part is you just throw everything into the blender or food processor and hit the button. 

Okay, a little rough chopping of the onions, tomatoes, cilantro and jalapeno.

Then you hit the button and presto! Salsa like at the Mexican restaurant

Stored in a mason jar, I'm not too sure how long its refrigerator stable, because it doesn't last too long around this joint. 

Thomas approved. 

Yes, he volunteered for that picture while snuggling his baby. 

Give it a try 

 

Easy Blender Salsa

Ingredients:

1- 14 oz can diced tomatoes

1- 10 oz can orginal Rotel

1/2 small onion, roughly chopped

1 clove garlic, peeled and smashed

1/2-1 jalapeno, seeded or not (depends on how spicy you like it) and roughly chopped

1 teaspoon honey

1/2 teaspoon salt

1/4 teaspoon ground cumin

small to medium size handful of cilantro, washed

juice of 1 lime

2 roma tomatoes, seeded and roughly chopped

Directions:

Put all the ingredients in the base of a food processor or good blender and pulse to combine for 30 seconds or so until all the ingredients are finely chopped and salsa is desired consistency. Taste for seasoning and adjust to taste. Serve with chips or over tacos.

Peek-a-boo ICU

Its time to make this one blog official as well! This mama is going back to work, but going back to take on a new venture - the ICU (oooohh aaaahhh). I applied on a whim and got the job, which is always a good feeling, but was then faced with the big dicession to choose to take it or not. After many days of conversations, prayers and a gentle nudge from my husband, Thomas and I decided I should take the job. During the great ICU debacle we went to dinner with my Mom and Aunt and in my fortune cookie I received this little message:  

'When opportunity knocks answer the door'

(P.S. Don't you love my pregnant petroglyph magnat from Moab? The Lapsanksys always find the perfect gifts)

Not that one fortune cookie fortune was the final deciding factor, but it was very coincidental. So I am answering the door. And now that the decision has been made I feel great. A little nervous, but so excited to reach a professional goal. 

Right before I left work for maternity leave my stethoscope got a hole in the tube and I was having to pinch it together every time I needed to use it, kind of hokey to work like that but I wasn't ready to round file it. It was the only stethoscope I had ever used, Thomas gave it to me for our first Christmas as a married couple, probably more than he should have spent at the time, but perfect. I loved that thing, and it will be kept for sentimental reasons. 

So, with new beginnings we ordered up some new stethoscopes (Thomas got one too since we got a deal for ordering two). They are so pretty and fancy. Yes, I know I'm a geek. 

oooohh, ahhhh

Last weekish

He who returns from a journey is not the same as he who left.

-- Chinese Proverb

Ahh, vacation. We did it. I may not ever think of vacations the same again and I would venture to guess most mom's would agree. Traveling with child brings on a whole new world. Getting ready and traveling was one big feet, but what I didn't expect was that baby life continues into vacation time. There are still mid-night and early morning feedings, getting up before you really want to and no real getting away from it 'all'. Don't get me wrong, we had a great time and I would do it again in an instant, time with our family is precious, but I hadn't given vacations for a new mom any thought. It's just not as restful as vacations used to be. I'm beginning to discover that nothing ever will be. 

My baby flies quite well, even sick on the way home, she was a champ. That's all this mama could have asked for. We were so sad to say good-bye to our California family, I used to cry so much when I would say good-bye to my sister. Mostly because living on two separate coasts, I never knew when we would get the chance to spend time together again and it was always too long between visits. I seemed to get my wits about me with the whole issue after we had 7 whole months in the same house and at worst they were a 24 hour car ride away. But having the opportunity to make many visits a year gave me the chance to grow really close to those two little rascals she reared. Each time we departed it got harder to leave those two behind knowing they would change so much before I would see them again. This time it was hard to leave with my babe knowing she will change tremendously before we see them again and not wanting them to miss out on all of those little moments. 

Thank goodness for the internet, skype, smart phones, etc... I just need to get better about taking pictures, there wasn't a whole lot of that on this trip (again the whole new mom, infant, first trip, mama and baby sick thing). But here is a sampling of the last week and a bit. 

P.S. I'm still trying to figure out some blogging picture stuff and someday you won't have a scrolling nightmare, but until then, prepare those index fingers 'cause your gonna need them! 

we started off the week (last week) with some beautiful sunshine. Thomas and I were able to get out in the garden, which was a mess and get it all cleaned up. We have several plants and bushes we quickly plunked in there at the end of the summer/beginning of fall that we relocated to a more permanent place.

Now the garden is ready for poop and planting in the spring, hopefully we have one of those this year.  

Baby girl has started to sit up for about 10 minutes or so in her bumbo though I'm pretty sure she is looking for food on that tray, 

and we have started to lay her down for naps in her crib, it may be a losing battle, but slow and steady wins the race.   

Then we made it down to San Diego for a bit of sunshine. 

Kristie: It smells so good here, like spring

Kim: I don't know, I kind of like the smell of home

Kristie: What, mold and wet dog...I don't think you remember how much it rains. 

Some well deserved Antie time was had.

Morning floor time with Henry - worry not, no touching happened in this photo.

The boys played cards, Jamie was protecting himself against some suspicious 'crop dusting.'

Lots of baby naps and video games with the boys.

Some very silly sister time,

Delicious Mexican food and drinks, 

Laying in Auntie's bed in the morning. 

We also discovered some fun camera filters...I threw those in for Henry. 

A blogging we will go...

Well I will. It's 9 PM and everyone is asleep but me. I should get up and pack, but its kind of hard to pack when everyone is asleep in your room. I have a feeling Thursday night we will be shoving stuff into bags and deciding to check a second bag instead of being smart and strategizing our packing plan. Procrastination is our style...it how we roll.

My sister sent the first two links to these videos, the third a friend posted on fb. All the same song. Indulge me, watch them.



This is the original, I like the song. The video, well, it kind of creeps me out...a lot.




Cover #1, I bough it on itunes and in my opinion of little musical knowledge, isn't necessarily sung any better. Its all about the video, the way the song is presented *and* I could watch it million times and notice something interestingly different each time.



Cover #2, again little to no musical inclination, but I think they are amazing to listen to and mesmerized by their vocal capabilities. Well, acapella groups in general.

One song, three versions, I'd take the two covers over the original any day.

Last week

Last weeks adventures included:

Honoring USMC Daniel Bartel, we got to stand by our own District 17 peeps. 

Morning smiles and baby stories. Walking between the rain storms with Moka, we have to take advantage of some breaks in our typical Washington winter. 

Snuggles in the afternoon while we wait for Thomas to get home from work. 

Gia talks to Thomas before bed, I come in to the bedroom after a few quite moments to myself and find that lovely senario. Moka is still having a hard time realizing she is not a human, off to the floor she goes. Gia has started drooling like a mad dog and blowing spit bubbles. Forever wet shirt here we come. 

We tried out the bumbo and she can do it! For a little while, its still quite a work out for her little neck, but she enjoys sitting up and being a big kid. 

Next week, we take on travel...on an airplane...with other passengers...wish us luck.