Said 18.0

Said Spencer with arms raised to the sky when he got a turn to be pushed in the stroller, "YES!  I am the people's KING!"

Pretty darn accurate, my man, pretty darn accurate.  



Said Nathan as Sunday drew to a close, "The problem is that there aren't enough weekends in the week!"

Sing it!  The plight of the working man!


Said Spencer in a very strained voice as he sat on the potty, "I just need to believe in myself!"

So funny!!!  So cute!  And soooooooo funny!  We will never stop laughing about that one!



Said Nathan, as he worked his wild dance moves all over the kitchen, "I need some Maui breasts.  He's got some great breasts."

As in Maui from Moana???  Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa ha ha ha ha ha!  String Bean Nate wants big burly "Maui Breasts."



Said Nathan, while recapping what it was like to be the mom for a week, "Well, the weekdays weren't so bad.  But I wouldn't go through those Sundays again for $100."

Said EVERY mom whose husband is in the bishopric EVERY Sunday.



Said Spencer as he reached into the silverware drawer, to find only extra large spoons, "Well.  I guess it's time for me to grow up and be a MAN."

That Time I Went to England: Bath (Pronounced Baaaaaaah-th)

In Bath, we stayed with this hilarious English lady who was incredibly insistent that Jayna looks like Megan Markle. (Absolutely true, by the way.)  So I encouraged her to take a picture with Miss Jayna, so she could show all of her friends about the American celebrity princess who stayed with her and I'm still laughing about it inside. Also, her house was on a terrifying street for parking and driving, and her college age rugby player son walked straight into our room at night, so... that was a memorable place.

Bath!  (Which you must pronounce Baaaaaah-th. And you can just say "Baaaaaaahth, or you can also say, "I do so love Baaaaaath.)  Bath got shorted.  We only had the morning to explore, which means we really only explored THE Baths, which were super cool, but I wish we'd had more time to explore the city because it was lovely!

 Me with my traveling companion, Megan Markle.

 Wild green waters.

It was so cool learning about the Romans, and how they used this place.  They had massage rooms, steam rooms, rooms for sleeping, and then when you woke up, they had people to interpret your dreams.  You could messages to the gods into the pool, like, "Someone stole my cow, make sure they can't sleep until they return it." Or, "Someone stole my gloves, cause them to go insane unless they give them back." So here's Jayna tossing in some "justice prayers" of her own.

As we were pretty literally running out of town, we passed by the Jane Austin Museum and snapped a picture with Sir Walter Elliot?  I don't know, maybe he's supposed to be some other dashing hero man from Austin Land.

Then we raced back up to catch our train in Birmingham (and if you've ever tried to wend your way through the English countryside, you know that it is not actually possible to "race" anywhere), and that you may, in fact, wander one-lane country roads due to unexplained road closures, and then, even after herculean effort at navigating Birmingham and RUNNING up train terminal steps lugging super huge and heavy luggage behind you, still miss your train.  *Le Sigh.*

That Time I Went to England: Blenheim Palace

Blenheim Palace, accidental birthplace of Winston Churchill.

 To the surprise of none, the inside is ridiculously gorgeous.

One of my favorite things is the paintings... I think all I want out of life is to be immortalized in painting form in the most favorable way possible in one of these grand houses/castles/palaces, call them what you will.  Is that too much to ask? 

A few paintings in particular caught my eye...

Ok, so check this family portrait.  First, apparently the 9th Duke of Marlborough was way shorter than his wife, so the painter posed them with him on a lower step and her on a higher so it would actually be correct, but appear that there's a simple reason why she "looks" taller.  Second, see how the sunlight falls on their heir?  The golden boy, the heir apparent, first born son, all the angels sing.  Then, there's the other one.  The other brother.  The SPARE HEIR if you will.  Look at him!

A close up is required.

I mean, look at him!  They couldn't even be bothered to brush his hair for the portrait!  Hilarious!

But my favorite and most hilarious painting is this one of these two gals playing cards.  The important one is Sarah, Duchess of Marlborough, the one who is NOT looking at the painter.  She was an avid game player and I love that two things, one, she couldn't be bothered to stop playing to look at the painter, and two, I'm sure she was using this portrait session to cheat, like, "Oh, have her show you her cards-and then tell me what they are!" I love this woman.  This woman is me in Duchess form. 

An extremely flattering sculpture of Queen Ann.  Apparently she was as wide as she was tall, so the sculptor was very... liberal with his portrayal of her.



The outside-similarly gorgeous and amazing.

 Where, you know, swans casually float in the ponds...

 And perfect, picturesque English countryside beauty is around every fragrant corner!

That Time I Went to England: The Cotswolds

We meandered down through tiny villages in the Cotswolds as only moms can-stopping to take pictures of poppies, admiring all the charming little shops and buildings and stopping at more than one tea shop because #bakedgoodsarelife.

You see?? Poppies.  Fields and fields of poppies.  This is real!  Not edited!  Real fields exist out in this world that are ABLAZE with poppies under a gorgeous blue sky like it's no big deal.

It turns out that the Brits are very fond of their flag.  

Can you see it?  Can you feel it??  So adorable and English.

 

Plus the English name everything.  Every lane, every farm, every shop has an adorable name.  Pebblebrook Farm.  Hollyhock House.  Sweet Briar Lane.  Or, they're super quirks. Case in point? The Snooty Fox, the darling establishment featured above. 

Maybe Jayna's real calling in life is hat modeling?

It's all so beautiful and bucolic!  Roses!  Stone work!  Ducks! Weeping willows!  Sheepies!  AND BUNTINGS.  England is the blessed land of buntings. As far as I could tell, there was no party or event or occasion on that small stretch of lane, but someone decided to stretch that little bunting between two gate posts just because.  It's just the way someone goes to get home every day and they thought it would be more cheerful with buntings.  It is!


That night, we stayed in an old English manor house, which was stunning and maybe haunted? (Jayna says yes.)

You know, just a little out-building on the manor house property, which is a darling gingerbread house come to life!

This is England, where everything is adorable (even things that are not trying to be!) Perfect place for two moms escaping regular life!

That Time I Went to England: Anne Hathaway's Cottage

 When the friend says, "I WISH you were coming!" and the husband says, "Sure, why not, go ahead and go," you just go.  So I did!  Another glorious trip to the UK!

I arrived in Manchester, took a train to Birmingham, where I met up with Miss Jayna and then we drove down to the Cotswolds (planes, trains and automobiles-that's just the life I lead. ;)  24 hours, no sleep, no problem.  We started off in the Shakespeare zone, visiting his wife Anne Hathaway's cottage.

 Welcome!  The actual door Shakespeare would have knocked on to court Anne.  And Miss Jayna, who I don't even think can claim no sleep as an excuse for her wildness...

 

 The grounds are just verdant and charming and could easily inspire the finest writer in the English language... it was so easy to imagine all sorts of people from bygone eras taking leisurely strolls through these meadows, woods and thickets.  

 It. Has. Hedgehogs.  Hedgehogs!  Like hedgehogs are even a real thing...?!? So while you're strolling, mind the hedgehogs! 

Tired, but in heaven. 

After visiting the cottage, we drove down to our home for the night, and buckle up, because it was in a converted gardeners cottage on a working English horse farm. *cue falling down dead.

Like, you drive down this perfectly idyllic English lane to get there.  I wish you could see it.  And FEEL it.  It's soft, genteel, lush, beautiful.  The air has a soft, luminous quality.  Birds sing.  A slight perfume of roses is everywhere.  Even the bumblebees seem... jolly.  Big and soft and friendly, somehow. 

 So this is the door to our cottage. Called Farthings. (Because everything has a cute name there.)

 COULD THERE BE ANYTHING MORE CHARMING??!?  I SUBMIT TO YOU THAT THERE COULD NOT.

  But then you walk inside and somehow, it gets MORE CHARMING!

 

 It's cute, right? Beyond cute.  It's all the quaint charming Englishness that I adore in one sweet cottage.

Leah's St. Patty's Day Party!

Of course you know that Leah's birthday is on St. Patrick's Day.  But, we've never done a St. Patrick's themed party... until this year!  And, with all the humility that I generally display, I think I can tell you that this was the BEST St. Patrick's Day Party ANY 9 year old girl has EVER had.  I completely knocked it out of the park. 

We started by doing a little face painting station... you know, rainbows, shamrocks, sparkles.  Stuff like that.  No pictures because I'm the face painter AND the photographer.

Then they started a treasure hunt.  Each time, they read a clue, then raced to where they thought the next clue would be found.  But, before they could get their next clue, they had to perform a leprechaun related task... like, get your leprechaun name and play the blanket drop game using those names.  Or... get dressed up like leprechauns and take leprechaun pics-you know, to prove that they exist!

One little lepre-baby snuck in there...

 

 (I used those green props as prizes for later games.  I know.  The level of Mom Genius here is off the charts.)

They had to hunt for coins hidden out in the yard-like an Easter Egg Hunt, but with leprechaun gold.  I also hid a tiny statue of a leprechaun, and whoever found that got a special prize.

They did a game where they had to quickly roll dice and draw things on their leprechaun until they got a complete leprechaun (you know, like, roll a 5, draw a beard, roll a 12, draw a pot of gold, etc...)

We made CHARM BRACELETS with these teeny tiny St. Patty's themed erasers.  Come on.  That is PERFECT!

 Presents!

  And of course, I filled them with their recommended daily allowance of green food coloring.

 

And then, as their party favor gift, I sent them all home with their own box of Lucky Charms, tied with a rainbow ribbon.  I know for a darn fact that every 9 year old girl in the company was THRILLED to have her own personal box of cereal, and I was (again) thrilled with my own level of Mom Genius because THIS is the perfect party favor.  

Happy Birthday, Miss Leah!  We are so LUCKY that you joined our family!