ðĩÂ Â âIf I could take us back, if I could just do that
And write in every empty space, the words âI love youâ in replace
Then maybe time would not erase me.
Featuring: BTS - Jungkook
OC - Emily Mei
Some time before.
They say words are like bullets. Easy to pull the trigger without thinkingâĶ easier said that once done, itâs impossible for the damage to be undone.
âSo what, youâre sick of it? Is that what youâre saying?â Jungkook shouted as he shoved his song book into his backpack. The night had been going well and for once, he thought they could have one nightâone night where he didnât feel like pulling his hair out for once. Â
âStop putting words in my mouth, Jungkook! Thatâs not what Iâm saying at all!â Emily shouted back as the fight escalated into a crescendo of screams and shouts. It was always about the same thing: Jungkook being too busy with his music; Emily being too busy with her studies to make time for him when heâs off practice; not having enough time for each other; not wanting to communicate; blah, blah, blahâĶ
Jungkook was sick of it. Things were finally looking up for his band and he had poured his entire heart and soul into it. His passion. He thought Emily understood that. He thought she understood him. But to his confusion, Emily didnât seem too happy about it.
âReally? Because it sure as hell sounds like youâre done.â He seethed. âHellâIâm done with this sh*t!â
Silence enveloped the room and for a moment the world stopped. The fight had reached its final curtain call and Jungkook hoped there wouldnât be an encore.
Emily looked at him, bewildered. âJungkookâĶâ
âSave it. I have rehearsals in fifteen. Iâm already late and the guys are already at the studio. I donât need a distraction.â
âDistraction?â She echoed as she watched him pick up his things and head for the door. Her expression contorts into something in between anger and confusion. âSo what? Youâre just going to leave it like that? Donât you even care about this? About us?
âWhat about it?â He muttered flatly, but Emily looked like she had just been slapped.
âWhat about it? What exactly are you saying, Guk?â Her voice was a low whisper, like a dormant volcano just waiting to erupt. Jungkook sighed and it sounded exhausted, irritated, even; like he had already erupted and this was just the messy aftermath.
âIâm saying Iâm done.â He whirled at her, his eyes empty of their usual love and affection, replaced by fierce anger and deadly sincerity. âIâm done, all right? I donât wanna do this any more than you do.â
âY-you donât mean that. Hell, youâre thinking Iâm the villain here but all Iâm saying is that if you donât give time to whatâs important to you, youâre gonna end up losing them.â
Her words hit him square in the chest and when it should have made him sad, it only angered him more.
So sheâs giving up on me. Sheâs letting go. She doesnât want thisâdoesnât want meâanymore.
âI should get to practice already before I lose it, then.â
Jungkook knew it was the wrong answer but he couldnât give in now. The tension was palpable in the room and he held his breath for another round of sharp words and accusations. But it never came. Emily stood there, stunned, while Jungkook continued to pack his belongings, purposely avoiding her gaze. He knew that if he looked at her now, heâd break, and theyâd be back to square one. Theyâd make up only to fight again by the end of the week.
He could hear her sniffing and he bit the inside of his cheek to keep himself from looking up at her. If there was one thing he hated more than fighting, it was seeing her cry.
âLook,â Emily started, her voice hoarse. âYouâre just angry. We can talk afterââ
âWell, Iâve been angry for a long time.â Jungkook grumbled as he made his way to the door, hastily.
âGuk, pleaseâĶâ
He paused by the threshold when he heard the crack in her voice and he hated how easy it could beckon him. He closed his hand into fists and pressed his lips into a thin line. He looked down at the floors of her apartment, one he had considered home more than his own for as long as he could remember.
âLetâs face it, Em. We obviously want different things now.â
âDo you really believe that?â She asked but he didnât answer. She took a step closer, their forms lit by the single light bulb in the narrow hallway. âIf you really do, then I wonât stop you.â
Jungkook lifted his gaze to the ceiling, closed his eyes and sighed. âLook, Iâm tired of fighting.â He looked at her over his shoulder, his eyes cold and unyielding. âArenât you?â
Without another word, he slipped out the door, shutting it behind him. The click of the lock sounded much like an endâĶ A periodâĶ A goodbye.
Jungkook left that night not knowing heâd carry the weight of his words for a very long time.
