In spite of the fact that the founders seem to have disappeared on their poor little webbie, I partially got the AWOL website updated. (AWOL = ALL WOMEN OF LEATHER) I discovered in looking at it that I am extremely unhappy with the formatting and layout. I am likely going to begin overhauling the entire site.

I can't imagine where the founders have gone and gotten off to. I suppose I will have to dig around on my desktop *look of horror* and find Ms. Xan's phone number *another look of horror* and find out if she is still among the living. Gad I hate the telephone. So at least when I find her I can whine about being deserted to update the calendar all by my lil ol self *snifflegiggle*

Although I enjoyed being webbie for NCLR (National Center for Lesbian Rights) I am glad they got someone in-house to do it for them, especially after the nightmarish night I spent on the phone with their technician, transferring over 500 files to their new servers. UCK. Nay, not simple UCK that. Twas truly the muddy, murky, smelly UCK of the ages. Worst night of my life.

I am also terribly dissatisfied with my web page at the moment. It, too needs a major overhaul. Perhaps I would feel better about everything if I just tidied my desk a bit *look of horror* perhaps not....

Sometimes I can deal with it. Some things I do often enough I don't have too much of a problem starting. Writing here, playing online, cooking: I do them daily, or almost, so I can keep doing them. There's inertia behind these things. Sometimes inertia—the habit that makes me open this browser window, or pull a pan out of the cabinet—is the only reason I can do anything.

But inertia works both ways. An object in motion tends to stay in motion, but an object at rest tends to stay at rest.

Sometimes I sit at home on the chair with my glass of water and it's 5 or 6:30, times I now know the news will be on, and I turn on the TV—just for a moment, you know, while I relax and drink my water. Sometimes I sit down to eat and turn the TV so I can be entertained even while I eat. Sometimes I do the same thing with a book, or a movie.

Sometimes I tell myself I will clean while I have energy, or clean up my computer's file structure, or do one of the things on the ever-growing list of things I need to do. Sometimes I tell myself it's only a second, to see if something good is on, to see if I feel like reading. For half an hour. Then I'll do some of the things on the list.

Then inertia kicks in.

It's not the TV, or the books, or the movies—sometimes, yes, there's a really good special on PBS, or I get really into a book, or I have a strong urge to watch Roots again—the problem is the inertia. It's the part of me that's unable for whatever reason to actually do the things I need to—or, more accurately, to start them. Once started I can usually finish.

Again, this is less a story and more an explanation of why my work is still unfinished.

The sun is fading it seems, like watery lightbulbs without enough heat to warm anything. My little head is rapidly filling with PMSish thoughts.

Where did I put that goddamned chocolate?
Why is my butt soooo big and look like it is starting to list to one side?
The ground is getting softer in the yard, and the old shovel is still in the shed. It still seems pretty sharp..I wonder if I could get away with....
Just how much do I have to cook that lump of red meat to get rid of the mad cow buggies..and at this point do I really care?
WHY am I suddenly so intent on vacuming EVERY TINY SPECK of dust off my rug?
I wonder if they will ever make passing gas an Olympic sport? Right now I am a sure gold in the LOUD BURP, TUMMY GRUMBLE and the DOG/CAT DID IT events.
Does PMS seem to be much worse this time of the year?
I spent some time today looking in the mirror. Then I made a few faces at myself. Then, since I felt guilty for making faces at a person as nice as I am, I tried to smile at me. Looked a bit like a grimace, buy hey, it's the thought that counts.

Getting my credit report for only a mere $9.00, turned out to be the most aggravation for the least amount of money I've managed to have for a long time! Out of 17 negative credit items on my report, only 3 were mine, and I already knew about those. I don't even know what the other stuff is! ACK!

So...two hours later, I have sent off disputes to all the weird junk... Do you know I had a doctor in Pennsylvania wanting $100.00 from me...I thought this one was particularly interesting, never having been to Pennsylvania. Oh, and some Bio-Chemical Company here in California...twice...what do bio-chemical companies DO anyway?

So...here I am, all done with the crazy stuff and hoping they get it all fixed soon.

That sometimes you feel like you are going in ten directions all at once, trying to get everything done that you put on "THE LIST" and the hurrier you go, the behinder you get. So you sit down for a cigarette and a cup of coffee and the next thing you know you are waking up, still right there in your chair, with your feet and hands numb from not moving and your eyeballs feeling like they've been sandpapered. I think I'll just go back and take another look at that list. Perhaps some of that junk can be um...postponed...hehehe

OK, once again, Casey-of-the-questioning-mind has heard something and questioned why people say it. And what does that MEAN, anyway?

*looking grimly at my computer, knowing the answer is in there somewhere, and that if I don't find out the origins of the phrase, I will go mad slowly as I wonder deep into the night about this popular quote and its etymology*

So....here it is...

DOLLARS TO DOUGHNUTS (or donuts) – “The almost forgotten terms ‘dollars-to-buttons’ and ‘dollars-to-dumplings’ appeared in the 1880s, meaning ‘almost certain’ and usually used in ‘I’ll bet you dollars-to-buttons/dumplings.’ They were replaced by 1890 with the more popular ‘dollars-to-doughnuts’ (a 1904 variation, ‘dollars-to-cobwebs,’ never became very common, perhaps because it didn’t alliterate).” From “Listening to America” by Stuart Berg Flexner (Simon and Schuster, New York, 1982).

OK, so I admit I wouldn't be exhausted if I hadn;t stayed up all night playing with transferring files on the computers. So sue me. It's going to be a busy day today. Loads of running around to do, and I'm not even dressed yet. haha so sue me! 2, 4, 6, 8, someone's gonna litigate. Bahahahahaha...Losing it? Moi??? Nay Nay Princesses, tis but the lack of sleep...