Our body is our canvas

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its been a long time since i have even checked in to this site. in truth, because i haven't cut myself in a number of years. it was nice, and it wasn't something i could have ever seen myself living without. i was happy for the first time in my life.

alas, the happiness has escaped me again. sadness weighs down with such a crushing force, i feel it squeezing the breath from me a little more every day.
i cut again.

i feel all this tragedy has nearly erased the years of smiles.

Name: Ariel
Age: 16
State: NC

How long have you been self injuring? About two years
How do you self injure? Straight razors, x-acto blades, sometimes scratching/pinching/hitting myself, rubber bands on my wrist
Are you trying to stop? Not really
If so, are you having a hard time? Not trying
Are you embarrassed about cutting? Sometimes, depends on who I'm around
Do you hide your cuts/scars? Yes.
To what extents have you gone to hide your cuts/scars? Never wearing shorts or short skirts, wearing long sleeves, keeping jackets on all the time
Do you know why you started? One day I just randomly started scratching away at my ankle with a safety pin, and it felt good
Have you ever been hospitalized? Not yet.
Have you ever needed stitches? No.
Are you on medication? No.
Are you in therapy/counseling? Lol. Please, my parents don't believe in that.
Do your parents know about your self injury? Only the cutting, and only part of it. They think I stopped...they haven't seen the rest.
If so, are they supportive? Haha, yeah right.
How did they find out? I was stupid and I wore 3/4 sleeves when I was at work (I was a piano accompanist). My mom saw and that night she confronted me and basically called me demonic...
Do other family members, friends, others know about your self injury? I think my mom told my grandma. I have some friends who know, but only because they cut too.
If so, how did they find out? We saw each other's scars and it went on from there.
Do you like looking at pictures? Why or why not? I guess, I like the blood
Have you ever tried to commit suicide? Nope.
What do you like better: cuts, scars, or both? Cuts. I like how they welt up.
Do you have an experience with self injuring you would like to share? Not at the moment
Is there anything else you want to say? We're all here for the same reason, and I'm ready to talk to anyone who needs it :) Love you all

Name: angie
Age: 15
State: ma
AIM: none
MSN: none
YAHOO:
Email:
How long have you been self injuring? bout a year
How do you self injure? razors, sometimes slapping my wrist with an elastic, scratching
Are you trying to stop? not really
If so, are you having a hard time? not really trying to stop
Are you embarrassed about cutting? a little
Do you hide your cuts/scars? yes
To what extents have you gone to hide your cuts/scars? wearing baggy sweatshirts, jeans
Do you know why you started? i was sitting in the tub one night listening to music and i just decided to slide my razor across my shin. it just felt like all the pain in the world fell away.
Have you ever been hospitalized? no
Have you ever needed stitches? no
Are you on medication? no
If so, what are you on? nothing
Are you in therapy/counseling? no
If so, do you like your therapist/counselor? n/a
Do your parents know about your self injury? no, they would flip
If so, are they supportive?
How did they find out?
Do other family members, friends, others know about your self injury? no, just me
If so, how did they find out?
Do you like looking at pictures? Why or why not? yes. it makes me feel warm inside, soothed
Have you ever tried to commit suicide? no
What happened?
What do you like better: cuts, scars, or both? both
Do you have an experience with self injuring you would like to share? since this is a pro-self-inury site, yeah. the other night i locked the bathroom door and turned on some soft music in the bathroom. then i lit a scented candle and just laid back with a razor and just knicked myself. it was beautiful.
Is there anything else you want to say? if you need support or tips and tricks, im here!

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 give me a time i will destroy what i have become i really will, do i need gas mask i need to break free i am quite the monstrosity im ruining my whole routine, look inside i am quite crazy lost in my moment lost i am denie myself its all i got left its what is there its all quite crazy in my head shake it off shake it offffff kill me off I love jesus

Name: Rainbowbloodhxc
Age: 16
State: Ca
AIM: um nothing 
MSN: none
YAHOO: gayXpanda@homosexual.com
Email: same as above
How long have you been self injuring? since 4th grade
How do you self injure? Cutting.
Are you trying to stop? nope
If so, are you having a hard time? nope cuz im not trying to stop
Are you embarrassed about cutting? sometimes
Do you hide your cuts/scars? yeea
To what extents have you gone to hide your cuts/scars?uh i have put makeup on them drawn all over then with sharpie
Do you know why you started? um originaly i think it was cuz i just liked the feeling that i could control the pain  i was feeling now i do it for fun
Have you ever been hospitalized? yes
Have you ever needed stitches? yes
Are you on medication? yes
Are you in therapy/counseling? yes
Do your parents know about your self injury? they did before lol
Do other family members, friends, others know about your self injury? just my best friend
If so, how did they find out? lol they saw them magically
Do you like looking at pictures? Why or why not? somtimes they make me lol
Have you ever tried to commit suicide? yes
What do you like better: cuts, scars, or both? Cuts i hate scars
Do you have an experience with self injuring you would like to share?hahahah one time i was cutting to a christian song by call to arms and cut so deep the fat deposits in my arm could be seen really bad and so to lol at myself i drew a face on it and moved it like a mouth lol.
Is there anything else you want to say? i cut cuz i feel like it, yhea my life is pretty fucked up but i can deal with their stupidity and demonic presence, i cut cuz i feel like it thats it nothing more 

Name: Kim
Age: 17

I feel like I have to destroy myself every day. The only things i find interesting anymore are writing and art, and sometimes those feel boring. I havn't cut for a long time. I have major scares on my leg from that time.

I looked at my arm this morning and i didnt realize i had gotton cuts form the wire sculpture i was doing in art the day before. I dunno, just looking at them made me feel better.

Well, this is my sisters first day in rehab. It's really affecting me. Fuck.

I've been thinking latley if i dont leave my a scare or mark in the world that it will forget me after i die. Well, everyone must think that. How am i suppose to do that? Write a book or paint and hope i become famous? Society and life are such a joke sometimes.

grrr..... i'm so mad at myself right now. i left all of my razor blades at how this weekend. and i did have a shank in my dorm but now it's MIA. FUCK! what am i going to do????? 

hows it going? anyone know where to find good pics?