disintegration

finals tomorrow! yahoo!

we watched a documentary on gaming (world of warcraft/everquest) tonight, "second skin." so awkward. so absurd. so sad. but pretty interesting. i really enjoy a good documentary. last weekend we all watched "king of kong," which is about the guys who are the top scorers in the world on the original donkey kong game. these guys are hardcore nerds. but i guess sitting watching a film about them being nerds makes me nerdy as well.

i'm fascinated by this pretty quilt by rose rushbrooke. can you imagine how long that would take? i love how detailed and fragile it is. it looks like a desert that i would like to eat. check out her other creations as well.

she's a thief with an eye for nice things

i guess i've been on an accidental hiatus.

i've developed something of a social life, so i have a little less time alone with my thoughts. but i would like to make more of an effort to keep this updated. for myself.

just to recap, november was... awesome. i've made a lot of new friends who are really fun, interesting, good people. those words are so generic, but i really can't explain these people without using their own lingo; they're chill, totally hard, i'm so phased.

my birthday is a month from tomorrow. 21! i'll finally be legal! okay it's not really a big deal, as i don't drink and whatnot. but it will be fun to be able to go dancing and purchase the occasional scratcher card.

brain = smart. head = dumb.

october was way good to me.

i can only foresee november being even better.

i've been feeling so much gratitude lately. it's the best feeling.

i've been dancing a lot lately. and coke zero is now acceptable.

i just downloaded the harry potter theme song as my ringback tone.

great, now my phone's gonna be ringin' off da hooK!

SPEAK NOW

OH. MY. GOSH.

i could have tweeted like 20 tweets about her new album, so i'm just blogging about it instead.

i downloaded it at like 930 this morning, so it's still pretty fresh to me. but here are my initial feelings on the masterpiece.

taylor swift. i love you so much.

mine - it's been out for a while now, but we all love it. it's catchy and like, sweet.

back to december - all the words are so right on.

dear john - HOLY SMOKES. i bet john mayer feels like a total dirt bag. if he didn't before, he should now (but i really do love john, let's get real). i love that the guitar in this song sounds jussst like a john mayer song. and even though i think it's weird they had a thing, i can't blame tay for this one, i would get with him in a second. even if i knew i'd get worked in the end. this song is amaze.

mean - I LOVE THIS SONG. i like the backwoods-y sound in the beginning. one thing i love about taylor's songs is the "you messed me up bad, so now let me tell you how i really feel about you" vibe.

enchanted - i love what this song is about. how it's so fun to meet a new boy and be excited about him. yess.

haunted - uhhhhhh. hmph. this song is perfect. i like that her voice is kind of shaky during the chorus, like she's maybe gonna cry or something.

last kiss - such a killer. "i don't know how to be something you miss." perf.

ours - it's peppy and cute. loves it.

sometimes people hate on taylor because a lot of her songs are similar, but i say why try to fix something that isn't broken? maybe this is a 15-25 year old girl thing, but the majority of her songs i think, "alright, tay, how do you know my exact feelings about every relationship i've ever been in?" it's all SO uncanny.

to summarize, taylor swift kicks a.

how will you survive?

today has been a test of my patience.

i don't want to have any more days like this.

weheartit

i have lots to look forward to in the near future!

and i should not watch "most terrifying places in america" or any other haunted tv shows.

you make me feel like a bath?

this weekend was soo good!

the photos tell the stories better than i could. but you should have been there. because being there tells the stories even better than the photos do. what?

bestfriend sydnee and i hung out on friday, and sawyer wanted to come to target with us! so we made him stay in the purse.

jamie, me and eryn

friday night was miss jamie's birthday outing! a whole bunch of people met up at the light rail and we rode it into phoenix. most of the gang brought bikes to ride,

i brought a razor scooter.

this is my friend matt. he wore rollerblades and made me look mini. who doesn't like that?

once we got off the light rail we trekked over to this place called DUCE. i recommend. it's this warehouse type building where they have vintage boutique type items, a boxing ring, a restaurant, stadium seating, and an ice cream/shake bar.

then we rode back towards the light rail, stopping to take some real cool photos.

on the way back i fell off my scooter and barrel rolled, thrashing my knee. it was gnar gnar. or sicky icky. whichever you prefer.

saturday i spent the day with my dearest erin. we had a nice lunch, some dessert. then matt came over and we all watched empire records. if you haven't seen it, do. but don't get the fan version, it's naughtier. later jordan joined us and we went and saw it's kind of a funny story, which i also recommend. then erin and i made a sick vid.

yahoo!

this is a photo of me at my sweet kristine's wedding reception, going back for seconds by myself :( sad day for the fat girl inside me

photo by ben christensen, i think

simply,

i feel awake

and not just not asleep

unintended

i like to laugh.
i like to read, again.
i like elliott smith.
i like doing detective work.
i like britney spears.
i like golden oreos.
i like waking up to lil jon yelling at me "GET OUTTA YER MIND."
i like that my room is still clean.
i like not having to go out every night to be happy.
i like when a good playlist makes itself.

[weheartit]

i like anticipation and excitement.
a lot.

2

chamber of secrets. done. BAM!

"it is our choices, harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities."

freakin a, dumbledore. f r e a k i n a. not to be sacreligious, but i kind of feel like you're the gordon b. hinckley of the wizarding world.

cos

i'm consumed.

i want to visit provo.

the polyjuice potion turned hermione into millicent bulstrode's cat!

one

done with the sorcerer's stone! zing!

i saw secretariat tonight. it was good. but i don't like diane lane. nuh uh.

while at mcdonalds tonight i received two happy meal toys, a free order of mcnuggs, and a free ice cream cone. hispanic guys like me for some reason.

ch 7

i love fall. i love sundays. i love having a really clean bedroom. i love pajamas. i love harry potter.

hah, scabbers is chewing ron's sheets!

texts from tonight.

tonight while texting my friend landon (SHOUTOUT! this boy is really cool. we've known each other for like.. most of our lives kinda and he listens to good music and is super nice and has lots of funny things to say [i told you i'd blog about you!]) we were talking about school and majors and stuff.

i told him that when i was at byu i had wanted to go into the art program, but there isn't a lot that you could do with that degree.

landon said, just study what you like!

i said, too bad i can't major in boys.

i.have.a.problem.

[then he said he's minoring in the female anatomy via the braille system. see? funny.]

1-7

initiate harry potter series reading sequence... now.

if you need me, i'll be locked in my cupboard.

organized chaos

i don't know what it is, but something about this space makes me want it really bad.

[image from wehearit]

rant:

i. hate. taking. showers.

okay. i don't hate showering. hygiene is good. it's the after part that i hate!

unless you've known me pre "emma's 2005 make over" (as my family calls it) you may not know that my hair is naturally insanely curly. when my hair is wet, i look exactly like this:

seriously though. i have the face of a five year old. my curls are unmanageable and i look like a baby. who wants that.

over the last few years i have opted out of the frizz and chosen a straighter style. it's way better but takes foreverrrr to blow dry then flat iron it. it takes so long, and it gets hot in my small bathroom with all the hot air on my head. not that i really have anything better to do with that hour of time that it takes. but. you know. my arms get tired!

this is also plays a large part in why i don't like swimming.

i don't remember why i started writing this.

does anyone else have this problem?

ps. did anybody notice the storm today? heehur

gems

the church sends out spritiual thought emails, called "daily gems." i highly recommend them. there are a few different kinds you can sign up for; i get the daily gems and the young single adult gems. someone knew that i really needed to read this today.

"Being single does not mean you have to put off being happy. As President Harold B. Lee once said: 'Happiness does not depend on what happens outside of you, but on what happens inside of you. It is measured by the spirit with which you meet the problems of life.' "

James E. Faust

i've been pretty grumpy and down in the dumpy lately about my current "status." yes, sometimes it sucks (for lack of a better word). but it simply isn't worth wasting this time in my life, wishing for everything i don't have when i what i do have right now really isn't even bad. in fact, it's even good sometimes (okay more than sometimes). time for an attitude adjustment.

oh, and how is it OCTOBER?!

your hearts compatible

everyone who isn't married yet is getting married. congratulations girls! envious as i am, i really am happy for you all.

i've been listening to my fall mix that i made (even though it doesn't feel at all like fall) which consists of all the songs i have from guster, limbeck, mason jennings, neil young, rocky votolato, bob dylan, and elliott smith. it gives me good fall feelings. i want it to feel fallish. i want to disappear into the fall. and lay in a meadow in the golden sunlight while a soft breeze tousles my hair.

and i can't stop playing angry birds.

you really had me going this time.

i had to do a shoot for my photojournalism class, so my bff was a good sport and agreed on modeling for me.

isn't she pretty?

"i want to go to there."

i can't say what i want. so, blurgh.

just a taste

someone asked me why i don't update my blog anymore.

so here you go.

i started school at mcc. i've been there two weeks so far, and man is it different from byu. not all bad, but it's certainly interesting.

i'm still working at my bath & bodyworks job. not enough hours, but i like it.

wednesday my cousin jesse left on his mission to rio de janeiro,

and last night my uncle dj and aunt jen had their third baby boy!

my head hurts and i feel like i'm going to throw up.

i don't like this.

can i just lay in bed and listen to damien rice and transatlanticism for a week?

(if another george straight song comes on my shuffle i really might kill myself)

"i would have traded everything, even for just a taste"

advice

so don't be afraid to do things differently

the infinite power of hope

Hope is not knowledge, but rather the abiding trust that the Lord will fulfill His promise to us. It is confidence that if we live according to God’s laws and the words of His prophets now, we will receive desired blessings in the future. It is believing and expecting that our prayers will be answered. It is manifest in confidence, optimism, enthusiasm, and patient perseverance.

In the language of the gospel, this hope is sure, unwavering, and active. The prophets of old speak of a “firm hope” and a “lively hope.” It is a hope glorifying God through good works. With hope comes joy and happiness. With hope, we can “have patience, and bear … [our] afflictions."

-Dieter F. Uchtdorf, "The Infinite Power of Hope," Oct. 2008 LDS General Conference

us kids know

i want to go somewhere lovely and adventurous.

i need new contacts. someday if i'm rich i'll get lasik surgery.

and a fridge just for diet coke.

always time on my mind.

i've had a headache since like.. last wednesday. no joke.

taylor was in alaska for an eternity. but he got to see bears and catch tons of fish.

i hung out with my lover keisha like 20 times.

then taylor came home and had a birthday! so we went bowling and ate lots of food.

music is the best.

honestly, i spend so much time thinking about, well, time. how i don't have enough of it, or how i have too much of it. i'm trying to learn patience. and how to pace myself. and not think about the next thing coming up or what's happened, but enjoy what is happening right NOW.

older chests, damien rice

i passed.

i told you i was freaky

it's a happy thought to me that i've been out living my life, rather than sitting home blogging about it.

don't get me wrong, i adore reading all my friends' blogs, and even throwing out my own thoughts. but it is certainly nice to take a breath and just enjoy things, rather than try to figure out how to make them seem witty in my head for later posting. my mind isn't making sense.

a few weeks ago we went to the river again, just to fish and swim and play around, and we saw a bunch of wild horses. it was seriously amazing.

i painted my room a couple weekends ago... before, peppergrass green. now it's paper bag brown. i think it's more grown up, and more me. especially considering the fact that i painted that green in the eighth grade.

fourth of july came and went. taylor and i went to my grandparents' house for a barbecue, then ate second dinner at his house, then we went out to queen creek to watch fireworks with my dear friend cami and his dear friend daniel. since we were camped out just feet away from the cotton field, we were being eaten alive by mosquitoes. then we saw a real fire in the other direction, so we went to find it and we watched the fire guys put it out. then we ate ice cream and watched willy wonka and the chocolate factory. yay america!

i've got some catching up to do.

today i'm thankful for...

nice, nice people!

we were in the car, i was driving, in northern phoenix during rush hour traffic this afternoon. we were behind a big truck. a few cars ahead of us slammed on their brakes, the driver of the truck slammed his, and i slammed mine as hard as i could. but my brakes locked and i hit the truck. oh no! so we pulled over, and i was about to cry. luckily, taylor being there helped me keep it together. taylor got out of the car, and the man got out of his truck. i took a couple deep breaths and got out. the guys were looking at the damage to my car, then walked over to the truck so i walked over there. the man turned to me and said,

you know, i had this happen to me once. i was in a fender bender and the damage to the other guy's car wasn't too bad. he told me not to worry about it and let's go on our way. my truck's fine, so let's just go our own ways. i just hope some day you can do this for someone else.

then he got in his truck and left! there's some minor cosmetic damage to the bumper and hood of my car, but nothing major. i'm so grateful that this stranger was so kind and understanding, and that no one was hurt, and also that my car's okay.

time to pay it forward.

a post about red meat.

tonight, my soul was born and i can finally start to live my life.

what brought on this renaissance? you ask.

TEXAS ROADHOUSE.

how is it that i been living for 20 years and never have partaken until this night?

all i know is, i.love.sirloin.

mmmsteak.

oh, and here i am riding a ceramic bull.

[please excuse my awkwardness and thigh chub.]

cohens and cowboys

i just finished re-watching season one of the OC.

and i wept for the last fifteen minutes straight.

i adore ryan atwood and the cohens.

today, taylor and i did some manly things.

we went to two gun shops searching for some special ammo, ate at cheba hut (MMM!), and played at bass pro shop. taylor taught me about different types of fish, and different types of guns.

we also browsed around shepler's (the cowboy store) where i rode (sat on) a ceramic bull. there are steps leading up to a platform so you can climb onto the bull, and as i was walking up there, this old cowboy man said to me, "well now, is that the auction block?" i sure do have a way with the elderly men. gross. also while at shepler's, i got a much needed dream catcher for my rear-view mirror.. did you know that i'm 1/16 cherokee?

we went to sportsman's warehouse, and later ended up at taylor's house shooting a bottle of saline solution in the backyard. then we ate hot dogs and did some wikipedia research on skinwalkers and watched youtube videos of sasquatch.

i'm pretty sure my life can't get any better.

spit like a man!

i was over at busybeelauren's blog and was reminded of a funny story about myself. one of those stories that you never tell anyone, because it's not really even a story. more of an anecdote. if that.

when i was in the third grade, my teacher mrs. thuftedal (who was amazing, by the way) gave us an assignment to write an essay on a historical figure or other inspirational famous person. while most kids chose george washington, amelia earheart, martin luther king, etc... i chose leonardo dicaprio.

he was so hot. i even had a video (yes, a video!) called leo mania which was a biography all about him. i watched it several times a week. i also read a biography on him (possibly my first chapter book) and was really upset when i couldn't count it for my a.r. reading.

i was a smitten eight year old.

can you blame me?

leo's done some great work over the years. romeo and juliet, growing pains (he even gave kirk cameron a run for his money), the aviator, man in the iron mask, what's eating gilbert grape (less hot, more talent) and this little indie film no one saw called titanic... he's basically the bee's knees.

so, leo, i raise my glass to you. huzzah, baby.

i'll never let go.

apron? yo necessito

SECRET:

sometimes, i can be domestic.

it's true.

look at what i made today!

i don't bake very often, but oh boy do i like it when i do.

i got this recipe for smores stuffed brownies from picky palate

they look a little freaky when they're done, but they are delicious, gooey goodness.

nom noms!!

i also made these cowboy cookies, from everybodylikessandwiches.com

(i left out some of the nuts and stuff that i didn't want)

i highly recommend!

some day i will bake my kiddies lots of treats so they will like me. and my hubs will have a satisfied sweet tooth. and all the neighborhood kids will be like, "ava and sawyer's* mommy makes the best treats." and i'll be a milfm (mother i'd like to feed me). i crack myself up.

i think about weird things.

*possible future baby names? don't steal.

i can't express myself...

LIFELIFELIFELIFELIFE!

madewell

madewell is jcrew's little sister shop. and they are fabulous.

i'm aching for these jean shorts.

and these sweatshorts would be perfect to live in all summer.

and i've fallen pretty hard for this silky shirt.

i'm a sucker for all these simple, airy, styles.