newnewnew

so this one time i was engaged and then this other time i got married and have been for almost 6 months! bahah.

i figure if i don't try blogging again now i never will. i cannnnot update every detail of the last nine months, so just the big things.

jordan and i got engaged on march 10,

and we got married on june 9!

now we're living in a little house in tempe and just working and being married. i love being married and i love love love jordan. it's been so much fun learning funny little things about each other. like how jordan knows everything about batman and transformers and foxes.

and his toots smell very bad.

WHAT

i've been audi 5000 forever and a day. my life is so different than the last time i logged on this guy. i seemed sad and that makes me feel a little sad. but... i am such a happy camper now.

i'm currently working THREE jobs and i'm pretty busy. also, i've got an awesome man in my life. se llama jordan. and jyeah, we are ENGAGED! i whill tell the story soon. but right now it's six am and i haven't really slept yet.

also, i turned 21 on thursday.

i don't feel different, but i feel like i want to feel different and i feel like i should feel different.

i want to grow up.

honestly

i'm trying to learn how to be perfectly honest with my feelings. often i keep things to myself, at least from the people who should know certain thoughts/feelings. i need to tie up loose ends, and let people know the things that they deserve to know.

i also need to be fair to myself. i keep my mouth shut a lot, and sometimes i get taken advantage of because i don't want to make anyone else upset or uncomfortable. example. every year for my family birthday dinner i choose to have sandwiches. this is because, well, i love sandwiches. but even more than that, i don't want to bug anyone by having tacos or pizza or hummus and pita. so with sandwiches, everyone gets what they want. and no one's annoyed or mad at me.

i need to liberate myself from tiptoeing around people that i really don't have to tiptoe around. i need to free myself from that anxiety and nervousness. but it's really, really scary to me.