A Little Bit of This, A Little Bit of That

Sometimes, even though I shouldn't, I compare my trials to others and feel that - on the outside - mine appear to be small and unremarkable. So I feel silly for mentioning them or feeling overwhelmed. But sometimes life can be overwhelming and get me down. Well, last week my Relief Society President randomly stopped by my house one day. She is a new president and neither of us knew each other because I am in the Primary. She had heard Jakob got his tonsils out and wanted to check up on me. My heart was overflowing with gratitude to my Heavenly Father for knowing me and my needs and prompting her to stop by for a visit. And my heart was overflowing with gratitude toward her for being so in tune with the spirit that she knew I might need a visit.

I, of course, told her that things were going well and that we were fine. But I thanked her so much for her visit and had to give her a big hug. She then insisted on bringing me dinner that night. I declined because I knew that we were fine and that others need dinner more than us. But she insisted. This was truly one of the strongest experiences I have had of being served in the church and it built my love for my ward family and especially for this new Relief Society President. My strongest feelings after eating her delicious dinner were that I want to be like her and provide unexpected and needed service for others. Isn't that how the church is supposed to work? We feel the love of our Savior through other's service and kindness and then we do His work by serving and caring for others. It was just a really neat experience that I was grateful to have.

Moving on, Jakob is healing well. He still talks softly and is on his pain medicine, but his recovery has been smooth and uneventful. I'm sure the 20 hours of sleep he got every day has helped. :) Jude has been a great companion to his Dad the whole week. It has been cute.

Luke lost his first tooth! He actually had to get his 'robot tooth' pulled last month because it had died. But last week his first front, bottom tooth fell out. I think it may have come out a tad prematurely because he uses his bottom teeth to pull out his Game Boy games that are stuck. But he looks so cute now and was so excited to get a visit from the tooth fairy. He lost his tooth in the middle of the night and couldn't find it in the morning. So we wrote the tooth fairy another note. It said:

Dear Tooth Fairy,
I lost my tooth. I lost my tooth.
From,
Luke

Today, during sacrament meeting, during the passing of the sacrament, Kobe asked what holding up only your middle finger means while holding up only his middle finger to me. I quickly grabbed it down and explained that it's a very bad thing. Apparantly a kid in his class named Gino flipped someone off. Ah, innocence lost.

My friend, Christina, has had her baby! It turned out to be a very unexpected delivery in many ways, but I am so excited for her. Her baby, Theo, is so cute and has a thick head of brown/red hair. I'm so excited for her!

I love the smell of Tater's poopies. I have loved the smell of all of my infant's poopies. I like to smell things, and I actually like to smell their poopies. I know it is gross, but I just think that their nursing poopies smell sweet. They smell just like popped popcorn. I know I'm not the only one who thinks that because whenever Jude walks into my room where there is a poopy diaper, he asks me if he can have some popcorn. I don't like the smell of other people's babies poopies. And I don't like the smell of older babies poopies. I guess I think this is important for me to document so that I can remember this forever.

Kobe is super clever and has made up some new slang. He calls a hiney a 'wikipedia'.

"Ah, man! He got hit right in the wikipedia!"
"Shake your wikipedia!"
"I fell down hard on my wikipedia."

It is so funny! It cracks me up. He is so clever. If this catches on, I hope everyone will remember that it started with my Kobes Elliott.

This is the end. Very random.

In Sickness and In Health

Even though we don't make these vows when we're married in the temple, "For Time and All Eternity" kind of encompasses the same thing. (Sidenote: Why do they have to include the "in health" part? Are there really some people who would find marriage easier if their spouse was always sick and would struggle when they were healthy? If there is someone like that out there, all I gotta say is, "Back off, sista! He's taken!")

Jakob got his tonsils out this morning. It is a big deal to get your tonsils out when you are an adult. It is horrendously painful and it takes two weeks to recover. I feel super bad for him. As always, the best part is that he will have no short term memory today because of the anesthesia and Lortab. So he's always repeating facts over and over again and it cracks me up. It is a really good thing that he is getting his tonsils out because he has gotten strep throat eight times in the last two years. Before that he would get it at least 2-3 times a year. And then he'd spread it to all of us. My pediatrician thinks that Jakob's a strep throat carrier and would always curse him whenever my boys would come in with strep throat. So now he's getting his tonsils out and his adenoids, which should also help with his snoring.

The thing is, Jakob needing medical care has been a constant in our marriage. It all started four months after we were married when Jakob broke his ankle at a baseball game, had to get his ankle operated on, and was on crutches for two months. That was two months of me carrying his heavy accounting books up and down the stairs of our third floor apartment, driving him to all his classes (and I really prefer not to drive), and many times carrying his backpack for him on campus.

After that there was strep throat or laryngitis a bunch. And then, in the fall of 2004 began his mouth/jaw saga. It really isn't all that bad when I think about it. And we have been blessed in many ways all along his sickly path.

But I am feeling a little grumpy because I am a person who likes to be taken care of. You know women who can't wait to leave the hospital after they give birth? That's not me. I wish it was 1950 and they kept us in the hospital for seven days. (Reference this post for how much I love the hospital.) And some women feel uncomfortable when people do things for them or serve them. I say, "Bring it on!"

I think my desire to be cared for stems a lot from being the oldest child. I was only two when my sister came along and I started to care for her. And I remember watching my little brothers a lot and having the mother hen instinct for them. I only had 1 1/2 years of college life where I only had to take care of myself. Is it any wonder that I always reference this time of my life as the happiest? I got married and started caring for my husband, and then 1 1/2 later I started caring for little Kobe. So I think I like to be cared for because it is not something that has happened a lot in my life.

So it's not that I don't thoroughly enjoy caring for my needy husband. It is that it is rarely MY turn to be taken care of. Saturday was the first day in a long time that I was really sick, and I had to repeatedly remind my husband that I was sick.

"No, I don't want to go to the carnival. I'M SICK!!!!"
"Oh, yeah. I forgot."

ANALOGY: It's like my favorite drink in the world is chocolate milk (which it kind of is). But I'm allergic to chocolate milk. And even though my husband doesn't do it on purpose, his work requires him to drink chocolate milk 3-4 times a year. As well as go to the Chocolate Milk Factory (hospital) and get force fed gallons of chocolate milk. He wishes that he didn't have to drink chocolate milk, and he wishes that he could give me all the chocolate milk in the world. But he can't. I would have to be a pretty strong and mature person (still working on it) to not feel a little resentful that my husband is high on chocolate milk multiple times a year.

(In case that was a little confusing:
chocolate milk=care/sympathy/service.)

I know that ankle surgery/strep throat/two oral surgeries/jaw surgery/tonsils and adenoid removal is no walk in the park. It's all super-duper painful and I'm honestly glad it's not me. My ultimate dream is to be a PAIN FREE patient, and that's definitely not what Jakob has been. So cheers to you, Jakob, for enduring all these medical trials and being as tough as you are! You always recover as quickly as possible and I never almost never feel like you're taking advantage of my care. And, when you are healthy, you always help me care for the boys.

But let me just end with a reminder about how - when I tripped while pregnant and sprained my foot and went to the ER and got X-rays and crutches, all while you were on the Fathers and Sons campout - you stressfully looked at the hospital bill and reminded me that our insurance does not cover X-rays. You stinkeroo. For that, I predict at least 10 years of you changing my diapers in fifty years (because weak bladder control is definitely the genetic gift I bring to the table in this relationship). Then it will be my turn to be taken care of.

Gimme, Gimme, Gimme A Man Two Boys After Midnight

I think last Wednesday night just became my worst night ever. Jakob was out of town and Jude got sick. He was throwing up ALL NIGHT! I felt super sorry for him! It's so sad when they are little and throwing up because it scares them so much. They don't know what is going on. He was super sick and weak and didn't even get excited when I put him in the bath.

But isn't cleaning up throw-up the absolute worst part of a mother's job? Even though I love my children so much, cleaning up their throw-up is the grossest thing. It's so sick. The smell, the chunks, the color, etc. And I had to do it all night without Jakob's help. I always wish I was a nurse until a night like this. Can you imagine cleaning up somebody's throw-up who you don't love?

Whenever my kids throw-up, I can never tell if I'm sick, too, or if I'm just sick because of the smell. Well, it turns out that I was sick, too. We ate dinner at Sam's Club Wednesday night and Jude and I shared a hot dog and soda. "Here's a sip for you, Jude, and now it's Mommy's turn. Your turn, my turn." It was inevitable. My immune system is stronger, though, because I haven't thrown up yet. Just feel nauseous and weak.

And to top it all off Wednesday night, Tate has decided, at two-and-a-half months old, that he wants to get his days and nights mixed up. He is up all night long nursing and wide-eyed. So I didn't get any sleep. The next day I kept Kobe and Luke home from school because

1. I didn't want to take them to and from school in my exhausted state and
2. I was worried they might be sick, too.

They weren't. Jakob's home now and so I'm taking the day to rest and recuperate. Just wanted to document my new worst night ever. I'm sure it will be replaced eventually, but what could be worse then swimming in chunky throw-up all night?

Last Week

Last week my good college friend, Abbey, came by for a visit! We hadn't seen each other in years and had a lot of catching up to do. I met Abbey my freshman year. We were on the same floor in good ol' Hinckley Halls. We hung out a bunch that year. One of my favorite memories happened at the end of our freshman year. Abbey had dining plus and I did not. She had built up a high balance and it was all going to be erased at the end of the year. Even though I had already surpassed the 'Freshman 15', I found it necessary to "help" Abbey out by borrowing her dining plus card every night, buying a Hot Pocket and ice cream treat from the vending machine, and eating them in her room while we chatted. It was such a fun time.

The following year Abbey and were roommates in 'The Avenues' apartments. I've mentioned it before, but my freshman/sophomore years were the best times of my life. Abbey was a big part of that, and I am so thankful for her friendship! She was a bridesmaid at my wedding. Her and her husband were here for an internship, so she came by for a visit. She met my kids and we caught up on everything. I hope to plan another visit in the next week. Thank you for coming out here, Abbey! It was so fun to see you!

Last week there was another sweet reunion - Davis Auto was reunited with our minivan.....twice. Our car was in the shop two separate times last week! Nightmare. Tuesday it was in to fix our A/C. On Wednesday I went to pick Luke up from school when it started making a huge loud screeching noise and smoking from the hood. We've broken down a bunch, but I have never had smoke come from my car. So embarrassing. It was back in the shop Thursday. We sink so much money into this car that we wonder if it is practical to keep it. But then we look at the prices of new minivans and know that we must make due with our cute little lemon.

Last week Kobe also did his presentation for his 'Star Student' week. It was so cute. He read from a notebook journal everything he did with the Star Student coyote, Silver Spirit. Then he presented his poster to his class. He was so cute and eloquent! He is a great public speaker. The kids asked questions afterwards and they were mostly intrigued with the animals he saw in Thailand. He told about the snake, getting bit by a monkey, the cute, dressed monkeys in the monkey show, riding on elephants, and standing next to a Siberian Tiger. (Did I ever mention that my parents took some other friends back to that same Siberian Tiger exhibit but the tiger wasn't there anymore? My parents asked where he was and they said they no longer had that Siberian Tiger because he killed a small child. When I heard that I was absolutely sick to my stomach. What were we thinking? I almost sacrificed my children for that photo-op. I'm sure our guardian angels were totally rolling their eyes at us that day. Pathetic. :))

That was our busy last week!

Ketchup

Sup Holla! 'Sup Holla' is my new catch phrase. I had to stop using my old catch phrase because my brothers convinced me it contained a bad word, even though I believe it's not a bad word, but a replacement for a bad word. I guess not everything on Snoop Dogg's "Father Hood" is safe to say.

ANYWAY, We got back from Utah a week ago and I have a lot of catching up to do. I have a Utah post coming up, but now I'll just catch you up on all of us:

Mindy
I forgot to mention that two weeks after Tate was born, Kim and I went to see 'Sweeney Todd' downtown. It was a tricky endeavor with such a little newborn because he was still eating every two hours. Jakob had to drive me downtown, I fed Tater at the last minute in the car, jumped out and watched the show, and then sped back home to feed him. He went longer than he ever had without eating, but he was happy and fine. 'Sweeney Todd' was incredible! I had been wanting to see it for forever, but never had. It was extremely dark, which isn't my favorite, but the music was beautiful. 'Sweeney Todd' and now 'Mamma Mia' have gotten me on another musical kick. As in I want to be in a musical. And 'High School Musical 3' is not going to help. All in good time. Gotta be a mommy first.

Next up, my brand new haircut! Love it! I'm super excited. I love having it shorter. It's easier to shower and easier to do. I still haven't figured out what to do with it when I don't want to do it, though.

What else? I've mostly been avoiding reading any blogs spoiling "Breaking Dawn". I have it on my nightstand as a reward for when I finish a little sumpin', sumpin' else. I'll let you know when I accomplish my first task so that I can read "Breaking Dawn" and give my review.

Also, there are a couple things I forgot to mention in Tate's delivery post. First, my labor nurse was awesome, but she was horrible with the IV. She had to put it in twice, and the second time was right on my wrist. So every time I bent my wrist at all - TOTAL PAIN! So really, the most painful part of my whole delivery plus 24 hours postpartum was that DARN IV!!!!! Second, when I was recovering and my epidural was wearing off, I was starting to feel a lot of pain from my stitches and everything else so I asked for some pain medicine. My nurse brought me two Advils. Are you kidding me? This could lead me into a huge rant about how there is not enough sympathy or consideration given to women who give birth. Everyone acts like we should give birth, jump right off the wagon, and start walking with the rest of the pioneers while we're nursing our young. Giving birth is a big deal!!!!! It is my only time that I need to be taken care of, but I don't feel a lot of compassion. So I just wanted to remember these two points for some reason.

Update on our house stuff: We originally mentioned we wanted to sell it months ago. Well, with the market being what it is, we would lose way too much money if we tried to sell it. But our kids grow bigger everyday, so we're still wanting to get into a little more square footage with a basement. So now we're thinking about renting. And looking around for a neighborhood house that will work for us.


Jakob
Jakob got his braces off last week! He's growing up so fast! This was his second time in braces and he was in them for almost four years this time. He also had braces when he was younger for five years. That's a total of nine years in braces!

Here is his 'after' picture. This picture will also serve as his 'before' picture because of all the restorative work he still has to get done. For those of you unfamiliar with Jakob's mouth, here's a brief synopsis: All of Jakob's molars were ankylose, which means they were attached to his jaw bone and never grew up or down all the way. He grew up his whole life chewing everything with his front teeth, and they started to wear down. We found a team of three of the finest doctors in the state - an ortho, an oral surgeon, and a prosthodontist - who worked together on his case. Multiple surgeries later, Jakob's molars can touch in the back! Up next for Jakob's mouth: a few implants, caps, rebuilding of teeth, and some veneers. Who needs a down payment on a house or functioning cars? Money, Schmoney.

Kobe
Kobe is loving second grade. This week he is the 'Star Student' in his classroom so we spent the weekend making a poster for him. Some of the answers to the questions on his poster were:

Where is your favorite place? Amazing Jake's
What do you want to be when you grow up? A Gold Medalist
What is your favorite thing to do? Play Video Games
If you had one wish, what would you wish for? Superpowers

He is definitely on a high note with our family. He is loving us tons and being super helpful with his younger brothers. He wrote us a letter at school that said he is really glad that he came to our family and that he misses us when he is at school. So sweet!

Luke
Luke is absolutely crazy about kindergarten. He is loving every second of it. His teacher is very nice, but has some quirks. Luke loves her, but me.....I don't know. It's just weird stuff. Like instead of having the discipline system be the light system (everyone starts on green, bad behavior gets a yellow, more bad behavior gets a red and a note home) she rewards children with coyotes (the school mascot). If you get a coyote every day you get a prize on Friday. Well, this means that every single day, during the 2 1/2 hour class time, she has to remember to recognize every single child's good behavior and tell them to get a coyote. And I know from experience that if you're doing what you're supposed to be doing, you very often blend into the wall and DO NOT get recognized. And if you don't get a coyote on Monday, then good behavior the whole rest of the week is a waste because you can't get a prize on Friday anyway! Also, she has the children sit at a different seat every day by different people. Crazy. There needs to be consistency and order. They are only five. It's a lot of pressure to find a different seat every day.

ANYWAY, that's just my gripe, but Luke loves his class. Luke is my most talkative guy. He is talking non-stop. I love that he talks to me. Someday he might not. So I'm trying to remember to enjoy all of his chatter and questions and stories. He's a smart boy because he has realized how to engage the listener with questions like, "You know what?", "Guess what?", "What do you think about...?", "How do you know...?", etc. So I can't get away with just "Wow!"'s and "Cool!"'s. I kid you not, I have almost gotten in two car accidents when Luke was in the car conversing with me. I need to learn to multi-task better.

He is such a sweetheart. He is learning his sounds really well in Kindergarten and can even read a bunch of sight words already. He's always spelling words out instead of saying them. Here's a conversation we just had:

LUKE: "Mom, when is it going to be F and F?"
MOM: Effin Eff? "Luke, what is Effin Eff?"
LUKE: "Fursday and Friday."

(And right before this post went to press, another classic Luke moment. Luke dwells a lot on girls. He will be trouble. He just came up to me and asked, "Mom, what does it feel like when you kiss Dad on the lips?" Me, "Ummm.......". Luke, "I just want to know what it will feel like when I kiss my wife on the lips." I had no reply.)

Jude
Ah, little Beans. Jude has definitely felt a little displaced by this baby. He has to work extra hard to make sure he is by my side at all times. I don't think I've had a bowl of cereal that he hasn't shared with me in over a month. I am learning patience. But, at the same time, Judah Beans is my best friend and I kind of want him by my side. Lately we have been jammin out to "Mamma Meeda" in the car every day. He loves the soundtrack and sings all the songs at the top of his lungs. So cute!

Yesterday Jakob found all the cushions taken off the couch (we don't allow this, but obviously don't discipline effectively because the cushions are off the couch almost every day). Jakob saw Jude there.

JAKOB: Jude, did you take the cushions off of the couch?
JUDE: No, I didn't do it.
JAKOB: Then who took the cushions off of the couch?
JUDE: (Raises his hand.) Me.

Jude is hilarious and gets away with so much because he cracks us up. It isn't fair, but maybe it will encourage everyone else to work on their comedic timing a little more. He talks like a little man and definitely is a very happy boy.

Tate
I'm going to post about Tate at two months next, so I'll just post his birth announcement. I wish we could've sent it to everyone, but the price of stamps is killin' me!

Enjoy the Olympics!!!!! (This picture was for Kobe's school project, that is why he has the gold medal.)

Two Months (August 2, 2008)

Tate is two months old! What a cutie. He finally has got smiling down and is smiling all of the time! All we have to say is, "Hi," and then he is all smiles, especially in the morning. He's also cooing and trying to talk a bunch. It is so adorable when babies are just learning how to make noises and move their lips to speak. He has this noise that he always makes. It sounds like the noise a horse makes, like when they exhale and their lips quiver. Do you know what I'm talking about? Tate makes that exact same noise. It's so cute! I think he's going to be a horse for Halloween.

Tate is not nearly as fussy at night which is nice. He's just so mellow and sweet. We had a long drive to and from Utah, as well as a chaotic week, and he did so well.

He can bring his hands to his mouth and rub his eyes. His eyes are still super blue. At his two month appointment he was 13.5 pounds and 25 inches long! He's grown 4 inches since he was born! He is getting so big and long and chubbsies. I can't tell if he's losing hair or growing it. Sometimes it looks like he has a lot of hair and sometimes he looks completely bald. I am really loving my little Tater. He usually only wakes up once at night to feed, and his cheeks are so kissable. Happy two months, Tate!

Utah

We went to Utah for five days and got back a week ago. We hadn't been to Utah in a whole year! It is the longest we have ever gone. It was so good to be back and visit our families and I remember how fun it is to be around family and how much I miss them. I could probably write a novel about our trip, but I will do a quick timeline instead so that I can get through it.

Saturday
We took a full day and drove to Utah, stopping only to nurse Taters and fill up the car. The boys did so good, especially considering that the AC wasn't working up to par.

When we arrived, we quickly changed into our picture taking outfits to take pictures at Sundance with Jakob's family. The weather and atmosphere in Sundance was so awesome and peaceful. The boys had so much fun running around with their cousins, and I think some great pictures were taken. I haven't gotten the big family ones yet, but these are our family from my camera.

Sunday
Tate Jakob's blessing. The main reason we went to Utah was for Tate's blessing. We figured it would be easier for our family to go there than for all our extended family to come out here. We couldn't bless him in my parents ward, so we did it in their home after church instead. It was so wonderful! Jakob and I both really enjoyed blessing him in a home as opposed to a church. It's so much more intimate, you don't feel rushed because the whole meeting is waiting on you, and everyone in attendance really cares about and loves the baby being blessed. If I could do it all over again, I would do them all in a home. Jakob gave Tate the most beautiful blessing. We had a wonderful dinner afterwards and it was so fun to have everyone together and munch and mingle.

My friends, Christina and Dave, were able to come for the blessing. It was so good to see my cute pregnant friend. Thank you guys so much for taking the time to come and see us!

Monday
A nice relaxing day at the Nickelcade. The boys had a blast and I parked it in a birthday room with Tate and just read. It was fun for everyone!

In the afternoon we went up American Fork Canyon for our picnic tradition with my family. It wasn't as idealistic as it was supposed to be when a swarm of bees attacked our table. The actual picnic lasted only 20 minutes as we were forced to pack it all up and head home. I really, really HATE bees. I don't throw out the 'H' word often, but this summer I have had real issues with bees. Jude and I once had to leave a park and all of our friends because a bee wouldn't leave Beans alone.

Tuesday
Tuesday we spent the day at Seven Peaks water park. Tate and Mommy just hung out in the shade while the other boys swam with their Daddy, uncles and aunts, and cousins. It was a blast! So much fun that none of us remembered to take any pictures. I'm always bummed when that happens. But we all had fun and Kobe and Luke even went on a bunch of water slides.

Tuesday evening we went to our friends, the McQueens home for playing and dinner. The Prices (minus Cory) came up to for the visit. It was so good to see them all again. I miss them so much. Why can't things just stay the same? I don't like change. But at least it's fun to visit them when we can in Utah.

Back at home, we played games all night.....or until we were really tired around 11:00pm.

Wednesday
Wednesday was our Girl's Day. I first went and got Tater's hand prints done like I always do in Utah. Then my mom, Marcie, me, Jude and Tate went to lunch at Gardner Village and did some shopping. Jude also got to take a pony ride there. So much fun. We also stopped by Rod Works. Utah has the best shopping anywhere.

While we were shopping, Jakob took the older boys with my brothers and dad to Sliding Rock. It's a little bit of a hike and then there's a natural rock slide. It is super slick and fast, so Luke had to go with an adult. They had a blast.
Then we all met up for some shaved ice. At night all the adult men (plus Grace) went to see 'The Dark Knight'. The more I hear about it, the more I'm glad I didn't go.

Thursday
Thursday was our little family day. Jakob, me, and the boys drove down to BYU to show the boys a little bit of the campus and shop for some BYU wear for our little BYU fans. We met Robbie for lunch and had some creamery ice cream. I love going back to BYU. Our first trips back to BYU we would sometimes see people we knew. Now, we are so ancient. I feel a tad out of place, but at the same time completely at home back at BYU. I hope that BYU doesn't become impossible to get into in the future so that my boys can have a chance to get in. Jakob and I then made mandatory stops at our favorite places for lunch: Jakob at Cafe Rio and me at Bajios.

Thursday afternoon my mom, Marcie, me and Tate went to see 'Mamma Mia'. LOVED IT! I love musicals so much. I think I'm going to try and go see it again by myself this week. I just love that world. After the movie we went and got some shaved ice again. Another Utah delicacy. Thursday night Jake went and played some basketball at a church.

Friday
We woke up and got on the road to home. So sad to leave family. But since this is our only vacation this year, we decided to only go halfway and stop for the night in Glenwood Springs. This was one of Jakob's and my favorite getaways and we really wanted to take the boys there. I'm glad we decided to only go halfway because the AC on our van completely stopped working two hours into our journey. It was 113 degrees outside, so even with the windows down it felt like we were melting. I was almost crying because I felt so bad for my little angels, especially my infant, to be in such torturous heat. But we survived.

We arrived at Glenwood Springs, took a quick dip in the pool, and then headed to the best restaurant in Glenwood Springs, The Italian Underground. We knew there would be a wait, but it turned out to take forever. The boys were tired and frustrated. Some ridiculous man who thinks he's good with kids stopped to talk to them, totally insulted them, and made one cry. Some people make me so angry. Then, when our name was finally called, we were walking to our hostess when some other man got to her first, whispered something in her ear, and then she told us we weren't up and seated that man and his party. He totally cut in line! I knew he was after us! He probably slipped her some money or something. He saw that we had four small children. The only thing that comforts me in these situations - and I mean the only thing - is thinking that he will have to pay for this after this life. I know that is very immature, but that's where I'm at right now. He will pay. Because he cut, our wait was going to be so much longer because it's a small restaurant.

Jakob went to complain and, since they knew they cheated us, they squeezed us into this little small table by the bar. The boys were tired - yada, yada, yada - it was a horrible dinner. The only thing that brightened the boys spirits was the town drunk sitting right next to us the whole dinner who kept talking to them. He wasn't grumpy like the first man. He was overly joyous. The boys liked him.

Saturday
The next day we went swimming in the giant hot springs pool. It was great. The boys were - as always - a little overly confident in their swimming abilities. But we survived. I love the atmosphere of Glenwood Springs, but it was somehow more serene when it was just Jakob and I.
We made it back. We are home. Everything is back to normal now. And I am dreaming of another trip to Utah. So much fun!

Testimony Tuesday

I've been wanting to start 'Testimony Tuesday' for awhile now. Ever since I read Elder Ballard's article in the Ensign about using the Internet to share the gospel. Since this is a journal and family history, I feel that it would be an appropriate place for me to share my testimony on different things or different insights I have concerning the gospel or my spiritual growth. But, as it says in the article, I do not speak for the Church as a whole. I speak as one member to testify of truths I have come to know.

But don't expect any eloquent or extraordinary messages. I'm not putting any pressure on myself. This will be casual and full of the simple lessons I learn as I go along my way here.

My first entry has to do with a message that was given by one of our youth speakers at church a few weeks ago. In part of his talk he compared making mistakes on this earth to a child learning how to walk. They will stumble and fall, but as long as they pick themselves back up and keep going, they are doing what they are supposed to be doing.

That little metaphor for how we may stumble in this life had a huge impact on me! I love any sort of comparison of our relationship with our Heavenly Father to that of a parent and child. It is something that truly puts his love for us in perspective because my love for my children is so unconditional.

I am so hard on myself when I make a mistake and am not perfect. I could tell you in detail the huge mistakes I've made in my adult life. They have made me cry and feel worthless and just want to disappear because I wasn't perfect. I felt like I had disappointed my Heavenly Father. But do I become angry when my toddler stumbles while they're trying to walk? Do I expect them to get it right the first time? Do I turn my back on them because they've embarrassed me? NO! I expect them to fall and stumble. They must if they are to learn. And I am there to help them whenever they need it.

We are not expected to be perfect. We cannot learn in this life if we don't make mistakes. It is expected. As long as we turn to our Heavenly Father along the way, our mistakes will be forgotten and He will help us and love us. I just love messages on not being perfect since I seem to forget that I don't have to be.

So that was a message I loved! Yesterday a speaker in church encouraged us to make a goal to never be angry again. Are you kidding me? That is not something I am going to attempt right now. Maybe I will try not to get angry in the next five minutes, but no promises. :)