I think I am finally making some headway. Finally.
When I would go to speech therapy she would comment on getting on the floor and doing belly breathing and then I should be ok for a while and maybe have to come back later and do it again to get back to center etc. I was all 'do what?' because as soon as I would get up, I would be struggling again.
I went to therapy Tuesday and once again we started the session on the table breathing. And then we talked more about changes I could make at home to help relieve stress.
And then Wednesday came and I had a massage. {cue angelic music}
Wednesday's massage was with the owner and was very different from the one last week. There was more stretching and she worked specifically on opening up my rib cage. And from then on I was breathing better.
And since Wednesday I could do some breathing on the floor and really get up and enjoy some 'good time' when I wasn't solely focused on breathe in, breathe out. Lather rinse repeat. Also I have been adding in some chamomile tea and some passionflower tea...both of which are very calming and stress relieving.
I am not there yet. Not by a long shot. But I am finally improving and that is encouraging to me.
Can't wait for early next week. Another massage. And perhaps this week, my speech therapist will release me.
So I am making the move from surviving to thriving. One breathe at a time. One speech session at a time. One massage at a time. One cup of tea at a time.
I am looking forward to putting this chapter of my health behind me. Except for the massage part. I'm hanging on to these gals. : )
Friday, November 14, 2014
Sunday, November 9, 2014
the massage
So I went for a massage Friday. I will start with, yes it was nice. I told the hubs that I will want to continue those even after I get well. Made hi$ day. ; )
I went to a small place...my daddy would have called it a hole in the wall joint. It is located in the 'old'/historic area of one of the suburbs near me in a converted house. The waiting area 'out front' is really the old living room. And behind the front desk, is the kitchen etc. Not super fancy but very clean and well appointed for the task. And the entire office and their therapy is very medically oriented which is what I need. Kind of like a compliment to speech therapy. Another therapy.
I met my therapist and she took me to a room. We chatted about what was going on with me and talked about what she wanted to do etc. And the best level of undress. So I undressed and crawled on the HEATED table (yes please) and under the covers..and cradled the pillow she had for me. I can't lie flat on my tummy so she modified everything to make it more comfortable. One shoulder side and then the other. And then some time on my back while she reached under and worked on my neck and back some more and then my neck and arms from my back. It did hurt some, but I am tied up in tense knots. She was barely applying pressure at times and it was still touchy but it was ok. I asked her to lighten up her touch a few times, but I also tried to balance that with her trying to do her job on me.
This week I am going to see the owner because she works on people differently than the girl I had last week. And one of the guys there is great with neck work, so I may end up seeing him at some point. I am more comfortable with all of 'it' since I've been there and met them. I don't think I would feel too weird having a man work on me at some point. I think both the males that work there are super good and very ethical workers. So if I need a guy at some point, I can be open to that.
Did it help? Yes. But not long term. I'm simply not loosened yet. But I could see that it did help some. I am thinking about dropping the crunchy dr for this because it's quite expensive to go to him and then there is massage on top of his fee. Yikes. I can replace him with a chiropractor that takes my insurance and then I'm down to the cost of the massage. (and drop the acupuncture part) Much better. I can get many massages for one crunchy dr office fee. (we file and get a minimal amount back, so it is always a consideration). It's not that I don't love him, I just can't afford that every week or two.
My therapist noted that one part of my shoulders was supposed to be pointing in another direction but it was pointed at her. My muscles have pulled my bones way out of whack. And she said that chiro is very complimentary to this work because she can pull my muscles to where they belong and watch them go right back because of the bones. I have a couple of good leads on a chiro. One very near by and the other about a half hour away. Next door to crunchy dr, coincidentally. And his chiro, coincidentally. So I know he is good. So those are all things that may take place in the future.
I have some good moments. Few. I can get relaxed when I lie down and breathe easier but as soon as I get up it's a struggle again. Boo. I also quit my scrip for sleep and melatonin is doing the trick and I am able to fall asleep decently. So that's an improvement. I know I will get there. It is just hard. Sometimes I really want to just cry..and I have...but it makes my breathing worse. But I have faith that I will get there. Keep praying for me. Hugs and love, my friends. : )
I went to a small place...my daddy would have called it a hole in the wall joint. It is located in the 'old'/historic area of one of the suburbs near me in a converted house. The waiting area 'out front' is really the old living room. And behind the front desk, is the kitchen etc. Not super fancy but very clean and well appointed for the task. And the entire office and their therapy is very medically oriented which is what I need. Kind of like a compliment to speech therapy. Another therapy.
I met my therapist and she took me to a room. We chatted about what was going on with me and talked about what she wanted to do etc. And the best level of undress. So I undressed and crawled on the HEATED table (yes please) and under the covers..and cradled the pillow she had for me. I can't lie flat on my tummy so she modified everything to make it more comfortable. One shoulder side and then the other. And then some time on my back while she reached under and worked on my neck and back some more and then my neck and arms from my back. It did hurt some, but I am tied up in tense knots. She was barely applying pressure at times and it was still touchy but it was ok. I asked her to lighten up her touch a few times, but I also tried to balance that with her trying to do her job on me.
This week I am going to see the owner because she works on people differently than the girl I had last week. And one of the guys there is great with neck work, so I may end up seeing him at some point. I am more comfortable with all of 'it' since I've been there and met them. I don't think I would feel too weird having a man work on me at some point. I think both the males that work there are super good and very ethical workers. So if I need a guy at some point, I can be open to that.
Did it help? Yes. But not long term. I'm simply not loosened yet. But I could see that it did help some. I am thinking about dropping the crunchy dr for this because it's quite expensive to go to him and then there is massage on top of his fee. Yikes. I can replace him with a chiropractor that takes my insurance and then I'm down to the cost of the massage. (and drop the acupuncture part) Much better. I can get many massages for one crunchy dr office fee. (we file and get a minimal amount back, so it is always a consideration). It's not that I don't love him, I just can't afford that every week or two.
My therapist noted that one part of my shoulders was supposed to be pointing in another direction but it was pointed at her. My muscles have pulled my bones way out of whack. And she said that chiro is very complimentary to this work because she can pull my muscles to where they belong and watch them go right back because of the bones. I have a couple of good leads on a chiro. One very near by and the other about a half hour away. Next door to crunchy dr, coincidentally. And his chiro, coincidentally. So I know he is good. So those are all things that may take place in the future.
I have some good moments. Few. I can get relaxed when I lie down and breathe easier but as soon as I get up it's a struggle again. Boo. I also quit my scrip for sleep and melatonin is doing the trick and I am able to fall asleep decently. So that's an improvement. I know I will get there. It is just hard. Sometimes I really want to just cry..and I have...but it makes my breathing worse. But I have faith that I will get there. Keep praying for me. Hugs and love, my friends. : )
Thursday, November 6, 2014
boring VCD update
Another boring update on my VCD...this is mainly for me so I can remember everything. But feel free to follow along. ; )
So the past week and a half haven't been so great. I had therapy Tuesday and it was mainly discussing what I'm already doing and thinking about some things differently. She set me up to have four additional sessions, because I have all the mechanics 'but I'm not there yet'. yeah.
Right after my therapy session, I called my crunchy dr to see about coming in for another adjustment and some more acupuncture. So I did that. The acupuncture was much more comfortable this time than last. Needle placement different. Weird, but much better. He also wanted me to do some saline nebulizer treatments to moisten things up. I tried it some tuesday and yesterday but breathing out of my mouth makes me feel like I'm hyperventilating by the time the neb treatment is over. Say it with me...in through the nose and out through the mouth. I caught myself doing that with my neb and that's not going to do me much good. lol
Then yesterday my VCD was out of control. And I cried off and on all day. Several reasons. Some of which I can't go into here, but I also read that things can be worse the next day after acupuncture including being weepy and feeling worse. So I don't know what to make of that.
And today is better. So maybe it has to get worse before it can get better. I dunno.
I have been taking a scrip that is really for drainage every night to help me sleep. I wasn't very fond of needing to do that. So last night I took a melatonin and hoped for the best. I was able to rest decent. Cat was tearing around on the bed and that woke me up. I also woke up with a headache in the middle of the night. Not surprising since I was awake/asleep/awake/asleep several times. I didn't really want to 'take' anything so I took some ginger. On an empty stomach. Which might have been a mistake. Feeling off today, even though my breathing is better.
Tomorrow I am getting a massage. I'm hoping I don't have to go through the same 'next day is worse' routine like I just passed through. My speech therapist encouraged me to get a massage at a place like Massage Envy which is a chain. They were kind of afraid of me. So I found a place in a nearby suburb that specializes in dealing with people with medical issues through massage. Much better fit. That is tomorrow morning bright and early. Kind of excited but nervous too. Kind of awkward. Never had a massage. Never really wanted a massage. But I also want to breathe.
She also recommended that I look into restorative yoga which is fancy for a lot of breathing with some manipulatives. I looked into it but I was not comfortable with it and knew I would not be able to 'relax'. So I am passing on that one. Kinda dread having to tell her I skipped out on that.
My therapist is a breathing nerd so she has done many of these things and overcome many challenges in regards to her own voice in her lifetime. She is such a sweetie. This really isn't a journey I would wish on anyone but I'm thankful there are people like her with the knowledge to help.
So the past week and a half haven't been so great. I had therapy Tuesday and it was mainly discussing what I'm already doing and thinking about some things differently. She set me up to have four additional sessions, because I have all the mechanics 'but I'm not there yet'. yeah.
Right after my therapy session, I called my crunchy dr to see about coming in for another adjustment and some more acupuncture. So I did that. The acupuncture was much more comfortable this time than last. Needle placement different. Weird, but much better. He also wanted me to do some saline nebulizer treatments to moisten things up. I tried it some tuesday and yesterday but breathing out of my mouth makes me feel like I'm hyperventilating by the time the neb treatment is over. Say it with me...in through the nose and out through the mouth. I caught myself doing that with my neb and that's not going to do me much good. lol
Then yesterday my VCD was out of control. And I cried off and on all day. Several reasons. Some of which I can't go into here, but I also read that things can be worse the next day after acupuncture including being weepy and feeling worse. So I don't know what to make of that.
And today is better. So maybe it has to get worse before it can get better. I dunno.
I have been taking a scrip that is really for drainage every night to help me sleep. I wasn't very fond of needing to do that. So last night I took a melatonin and hoped for the best. I was able to rest decent. Cat was tearing around on the bed and that woke me up. I also woke up with a headache in the middle of the night. Not surprising since I was awake/asleep/awake/asleep several times. I didn't really want to 'take' anything so I took some ginger. On an empty stomach. Which might have been a mistake. Feeling off today, even though my breathing is better.
Tomorrow I am getting a massage. I'm hoping I don't have to go through the same 'next day is worse' routine like I just passed through. My speech therapist encouraged me to get a massage at a place like Massage Envy which is a chain. They were kind of afraid of me. So I found a place in a nearby suburb that specializes in dealing with people with medical issues through massage. Much better fit. That is tomorrow morning bright and early. Kind of excited but nervous too. Kind of awkward. Never had a massage. Never really wanted a massage. But I also want to breathe.
She also recommended that I look into restorative yoga which is fancy for a lot of breathing with some manipulatives. I looked into it but I was not comfortable with it and knew I would not be able to 'relax'. So I am passing on that one. Kinda dread having to tell her I skipped out on that.
My therapist is a breathing nerd so she has done many of these things and overcome many challenges in regards to her own voice in her lifetime. She is such a sweetie. This really isn't a journey I would wish on anyone but I'm thankful there are people like her with the knowledge to help.
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