Felix met a horse for the first time today, and then a second. The sassy paint didnt suit him nor me, I don't like mouthy horses nor wall-eyes. He gave baby a big blast of horse breath which was ok with felix but a strong nuzzle was too much and F made a face I've never seen before. Then we met Amos, a big joweled soft eyed bay roan and I found his itchy spots and his blowing ans sniffing elicited happy shrieks from felix. I am so pleased.
Felix also went to an outdoor farmers market today, where he smiled at a lovely philippino produce vendor and got a new hat, a mustard yellow one, with blue leaping cats inside, and a nice cape for his shoulders. Oma says he looks like Lawrence of Arabia. A quiet japanese woman sewed it, and I'm eyeing up some harem pants for him for when he's a year old.
Felix also attended his first yard sale today and touched a random stranger, an unmasked one, an old woman. All the people at the sale were old and they were delighted at my "little helper" and no one seemed to remember that we're in a pandemic, and the old woman came and patted f's foot and then took his hand and for a second they were still, his plump white fingers against her wrinkled soft ones. Another woman called him a dreamboat. And I walked away with a wide leather belt with four buckles for 50 cents, a belt as wide as a cinch, and a renewed love of thrifting and foraging.
Hamish left us again early this morning and felix woke sad, quiet and somber. He recognized papa on the video call we placed and gave a jump and a smile. I had a regret hangover today from the past week and a half of squabbling, fighting, crying, scowling and outright plotting all manner of devastation upon my husband. We did manage to make up last night, late, and I'm glad we did but damn, we've got to get better at being better. The stress destroys me and makes me dislike that man very very much and that in turn makes him act in more aggravating and dislikeable ways. He's loud, he vapes now, (watermelon flavor), he chews tobacco, he drinks on the sly, he interrupts, he doesn't chew his food, he feels powerless so he takes control of other people's systems, he's a loudmouth, he leaves doors open and lights on and he's glued to his phone always and has no personal hygiene routine and he puts himself first and he is enraged by slights to his person but not unfairness in general.
He is also head over heels in love with F and me, he apologizes genuinely and is the first to break the ice after a fight and start over. He has a stunning behind and he can fix nearly anything and he wants to help everyone and he's friendy with strangers and neighbours. He's a good cook and he gives a shit and he tries.
And here I am, in bed with no supper, a babe on my boob, not sleeping like I should be, the last of the sun on the japanese maple outside, and blue sky. Whales out there somewhere too.
