One less thing..

I have been on a hunt for housing for quite some time now. My panic level has been right up there with getting my visa stuff in.. I thought I had some housing locked in back in June but after 3 failed wire transfer attempts, I realized that maybe this just wasn't for me.

Now that I have my visa stuff IN, I had more time to focus on my housing situation and also to dwell on my own panic of not having a place to live and the need to find a place when I got there. I started talking to some other students that needed people to fill a house. I was excited. They seemed nice, and it would be close to campus. Win, right?

I was still concerned about a number of things and the fact that I was going to a foreign (thankfully English speaking) country. I had posted on the YSA facebook page over there and lo and behold I got a response. I won't have to deal with doing a another wire transfer.. Only difference here is that I would have to share a room.

This should be interesting..

But the more I've talked to this girl and she has told me about my new flat-mates, the more excited I get. I have this overwhelming sense of peace, happiness and love. Not from them, but from my Father in heaven. I have been truly blessed. This is exactly what I had wanted. Mind, besides some pictures I haven't physically seen the place. I haven't talked to anyone in the flat besides the girl that is leaving..
But I am so glad, so relieved..

It's all just solid..

as our ledges. 

Packing/Condensing/Storing

How does one pack for a year into 2 suitcases. 2 suitcases, a backpack and a purse. How can my life be fit into that.
I guess I don't need to prepare for the apocalypse.
They will have toothpaste there. I dont need to have the two spare.
I apparently have so much chapstick.
Where did all my inhalers go?
Then there's all the meds & DoTerra stuff.
Oh so many clothes. Do I even wear these? Yipes.
Do I bring DVD's? And which ones?
So so much tea.
And why in the world do I have a travel size mens deodorant?


It's not even a matter of books anymore.. (Which was always my concern.) Even though I am condensing. But now I have some textbooks coming in the mail that I am gonna need for class. Which I am going to need to cart around with me.

Oy with the poodles.

Preach My Gospel take 1

So I just got done talking to Colleen about some of my apprehension about going back to school. I'm going to be honest, that I have a lot. I think that makes me more anxious than moving to London. I haven't even found housing yet. I haven't even made my flight.

One of my concerns was about writing. Besides random spurts now and again, I haven't written anything in any kind of seriousness/school setting in quite some time. She suggested that I just write.. Just to get used to it again. Then when I start school in September, it won't be as foreign. Hence this current post.

One of the sister missionaries challenged me before I left to study Preach My Gospel (the missionary handbook) and I've really been enjoying it. Obviously there is a lot in there specifically directed to the missionaries but I felt like, as many things in the gospel, that there was a lot directed at me and what I can do as a member missionary.

But there were a few things that stuck out to me today. First was a reading in Doctrine and Covenants 20: 5-16. (vs 5, specifically) 

After repenting 

After humbling himself sincerely

through faith =

God ministered unto him. 

(7) " And gave him commandments which inspired him. " 

I am a list maker. I like having guidelines to follow especially when I know the result that may come.

Here is what I need to do to: 

be happier

to return to God

to be with my family again. 

These are cut and dry kind of things. And throughout my life, whether while reading my scriptures, listening to prophets or leaders, I know how to have these things. I know what I need to do.. so why is it that things get in the way. Small distractions. Sometimes important things but not necessary things. I am reminded every  time I go to sacrament meeting. Every time I go to the temple.

I know what to do. 

It's just a matter of doing them.

Another thing impressed me in 2 Nephi 29: 11
"For I command all men, both in the east and in the west, and in the north, and in the south, and in the islands of the sea, that they shall write the words which I speak unto them; for out of the books which shall be written I will judge the world, every man according to their works, according to that which is written."

I always associated this with the scriptures. Words of God written through prophets to get us the New Testament, Old Testament, Book of Mormon, Doctrine and Covenants, Pearl of Great Price, etc.
Write the words which I speak unto them. To personalize it a bit, I was thinking about the words that were given to me. I have received many priesthood blessings. I know these men who have given me these blessings were called of God. The words they speak have always given me great comfort and peace in times of trial, anxiety, illness, etc. I know that the things they spoke were those my Father wanted me to hear. But there have been very few that I have thought to write down. These blessings are often not only for now, for that immediate comfort, but to look back on and to renew my faith... Or even to find that those promises were fulfilled. I feel like this would be an added blessing in my life to be able to write it down and look back on it later. Like my patriarchal blessing. I love being able to have that with me always to look at things that relate to me now. I got it when I was.. 15?

I can do better

I can do better

I can do better

I will do better

Present Tense

A woman asked me yesterday
"Was it hard to leave Seattle?"

I looked at her for a hard second and forced out a "yes." 

Inside, my answer was, "it IS hard. Is. Present tense." 

I have been in Seattle for two and a half years. While there I have been on many adventures, met some amazing people and some fan-tastic food. Shoot. 

Anyway. This is the CONDENSED version of some of the pics from last few weeks in Seattle. Some of my dearest friends. A part of me remains in Seattle with them. 

My problem with Superman.

I sent a ridiculous birthday card as of late to a friend of mine. On it, it had 4 superheroes. Batman, Superman, The Flash, Green Lantern. I came to the realization that each of 'the guys' could stand in for each super hero on the card. And one particular gent of my acquaintance is very much a Superman-esque character. Sadly enough I have an abhorrence for Superman

Bear with me.

You have a guy really does have it all. Strength, speed, bullet proof, x-ray vision, etc.
The one who has an uber hero complex and seemingly can't be thwarted.

Except by a rock. A rock. From his own planet. Yea. That's a guy I want on my side. (eye roll)

In my reality, he has the charm (that potentially only lasts half an hour), the smarts, the good looks, the look even.

His kryptonite? I have my theories.

So which is better.. The one that comes by it naturally or the non super that does actually have to put in the effort. Or even a super that just has a personality. 

I've had some time to think on this.

Superman serves his purpose, he's just not at all the hero for me.

later edited with contribution/theories from CH

"I think if you were going to label each one, the flash would be Chris - because he's a little kid, and he's really cute and probably funny and cocky. 

And Josh would be the green lantern, because he's responsible and solid and probably sometimes overlooked, but safeguard the whole world, so that's pretty cool. 

And scott's superman b/c he seems to have it all, but he's kinda ridiculous. 

And German's batman, not because he's mopey, but because he has no superpowers (...) to recommend him, but he still works it like a superhero, getting all the chicks."

Pretty good for a girl that has never met them. 

Craziest Storm EVERRRR

I got into Sierra Vista today in wonderful timing because it wasn't but 4 hours later that we had the most spectacular storm. I was watching the kids play a game and flashes of lightning flash in the reflections on the windows and mirrors. The clouds came in and it started to pour. Concerned about some things on the back patio, I went outside to cover them with a tarp and finished my task in time for a bright light to flash across the sky. It may have only been a second, but it seemed to last for ages. Alarmed, I went to return to the house and a loud BOOM filled the world around me. Dread and irrational fear ripped through me as I bolted for the door, sure that lightning was going to strike me. I stumbled for the handle, tore it open and slammed it shut again, hastily locking it. 

I freaked out and bolted up the stairs. It was a mixture of fear and glee, truth be told. I hadn't seen a storm like this in eons. This was it. It was spectacular to witness. We, (Mom, Brenden, Cassidy, Logan and I) ended up going down into the family room and left all the lights off. It was nearly every three seconds that there would be a flash of light through the sheer curtains. Brenden and I counted in unison to see really how often. It seemed like there was a consistent rumble of thunder. 

Logan was minorly freaked out and cuddled into me, 

Cassidy took hold of Mom 

Brenden snarkily commented. 

We decided that the Greek gods were at war (much like in Percy Jackson) and we were just feeling the onslaught. Zeus was mad about not getting is way and over reacting, as he just seems to do. (More theories about the gods were tossed back and forth between me and B.) 

"Who wants to tell a story," Mom asked, while we sat there in the dark. 

"Yes," B responded, holding out the s. 

"Nothing scary," Cassidy requested. Logan agreed. 

We actually turned to primary songs. Cassidy chose "I am a Child of God," "I'm Trying to be like Jesus," and various other songs she had been learning in primary. 

"I like to look for rainbows whenever there is rain. 

And ponder on the beauty of an earth made clean again. 

I want my life to be as clean as Earth right after rain. 

I want to be the best I can. And live with God again."

(Enter Brenden snarkily commenting about the irony not being lost when it came to this song and the tumultuous downpour outside.) 

I was impressed in that moment that this is where we ended up turning. These comforting songs about us being children of God and about the atonement. These are simple songs and speak volumes of truth. Logan even commented later about how the songs and prayer had helped! (He was very enthused about this) I felt peace and comfort as we sang these songs and hearing the distinct voices of my sweet niece, nephews and mom in their own testimony of faith through song. 

I especially appreciated when we gathered in prayer and Logan fervently requested to pray, and proceeded to thank Heavenly Father that we could be safe, that the storm had calmed and requested not to have nightmares. I love this boy. 

The storm has calmed, the rain is still coming. 

"For the first time in such a long, long time.. I know i'll be okay"

I've figured out my life plan.
*sigh*

I am still in the midst of loan applications, visa information and the works..
But guys....
I have a plan.
I love a good plan.

Even a convoluted one.

It still involves London and Seattle.

I am happy.

Is this home?

I have to say that I have not had any inclination to return to Sierra Vista. When I have come back "home" it was to my sisters' homes. I was satisfied with with that. I didn't ever NEED to make the three hour trek south. But Jared is here, and let me tell you when Jared/Derek come, I make an effort to be come too. It's the very least I can do. If I can get 4 out of 5 siblings, that's pretty solid.

I would like to take a moment to acknowledge how much I love Seattle. The plush green emerald city. The skyline.. The water. The weather.. People.. etc. I could go on. I won't. I have been dreading the Arizona heat and brown and landlocked-ness of it all. Oddly enough, annoyingly enough, I drive down and I am stunned with its beauty. The mesas and mountains. The various colors in rock formations, fluffy clouds and endless sky. Seriously, I was stunned. We drove past a dam with such a unique blue that I had forgotten I had been there before and had that same reaction. And never to be outdone, the sunsets. The whole sky was filled with red and as it slowly faded, the sun demanded to make its presence known. I watched it go down in my side mirror as the shadows peaked over the row of mountains to my left.

A sight formed before me that I hadn't quite forgotten about, but the magnitude of what was coming drew me in.. Dark clouds and streaks of grey that seemed to stretch to the ground. I have spent the last 3.5 years in Washington and I acknowledge that most of that time there was cloud coverage, grey, the works. But there was something different here.. Torrential Arizona downpour. I can count on one hand the times we had a solid storm like that in Seattle, and it was never on the same scale. Then there was the smell. Summer rain mixing with desert. There are few things quite as satisfying. I was engulfed with memories that I haven't thought about in years.
Watching the pouring rain from the front porch as it made our street look like a river, water overflowing from the gutters by sheer force and power of the rainfall.
Standing in the family room watching the lightning and counting, waiting for thunder... hoping for a blackout.
Getting drenched because I just couldn't resist the warm summer rain.

I drove that last 30 minutes from the Benson cutoff to Sierra Vista with random spurts of pouring rain, ominous clouds and lightning that streaked across the sky.

Lightning-that-streaked-across-the-sky. 

"I had this planned especially for you," mom told me.

(mind.. I'm still concerned about this 95-115 degree weather.. but I have to take good moments when they come)