It's been a taxing week. Emotions are in constant flux, good and bad events follow on each other's heels and come at you in violent whoooshes. Remaining still and steady in the face of it all is double the effort of having to go through these tempests.
======
I'm looking forward to the weekend. We're attending our DW seminar tomorrow til Sunday so we're taking a half-day off from work. Funny how in the race to attend something relaxing we harass ourselves to the point of catatonia just so we can get away. Life is a paradox, haha. So here we are trying to meet our tighter-than-usual deadlines, eating lunch at our desks and trying to focus on a gazillion tasks at hand. It's amazing, the way I have learned to push my body and my brain. And now they're both about to drop from this chair.
=========
We're learning how to administer my mom's insulin shots. We naturally queasy and blood-fearing Tolentinos are slowly coming to terms with this illness (which, incidentally, we all are a 100% prone to get!) and the new requirements it has posed in our daily wakings. We have to stick Mama everyday with 16 units in the morning and 8 units in the evening to bring her blood sugar back to normal (she's got a count of 200+ in her blood, when the normal is 100 something I think.) So we do a round robin among the five of us, taking turns measuring the liquid and poking the thin and nearly-painless needle in her tummy. I don't know if it's me, but I think she's getting better. :) I hope so.
========
Be here. Two words that mean the universe to a broken person't spirit. It's all about gathering your displaced self and keeping it firmly focused in the now, where there is no pain or problem, and everything is possible. Be here and be one with the universe and the essence of everything. Find beauty in that oneness, joy in your wholeness, peace in the centerdness.
What we see is not as essential as what is underneath, or rather around us. The Little Prince probably was, among other things, a Zen roshi. What is important is inside us, and it permeates through all the things around us, living and inanimate. It is what links us to the universe and the ants, our friends and our enemies, our joys and our suffering. We are the universe. All we have to do to feel it is be still and be here.
Bubba says it is difficult to explain because humans love to use words and words are what muddle the essence of the truth. I know I understand what he's saying. It's somewhere up here in the intellectual plane, where, according to him, it is the hardest to reach. One has to feel it then let it go to understand it. After I write this down I will let go of it.
I'm seriously considering Zen. I understand now how displaced I have become and how disjointed my spirit was. This long. Oh well, I guess some of us need to learn it the hard way. And I have learned. Now I'm ready to accept me again.
==========
Wedding Updates:
Since Lya, none yet. Been trying to contact Petal Patch but they're too busy to attend to me. If I can't meet them next week, I may have to try others. *sigh* Still scouting for a MUA too. Any good suggestions, anyone?
This isn't a wedding update but it might as well be since one of us on the bridal support group is leaving for greener pastures. Bermuda, here she comes. :) Have a good and safe trip, Grace. We will miss you...but only for a few days. :) We know you'll be back online in no time. Keep in touch because we'll always be here to help you through your transition. We're all a YM away. :D
***********
The world can be a happy place in the middle of all this confusion. It' s good to know.
Thursday, June 30
Wednesday, June 22
A Lya Morning
It was so exciting! I got my main entourage together: my best friend Nikko and my sister Denise (MOHs), my two other sisters Thea and Monique and my cousin Bea (BMs) and we trooped to Lya's studio. The day's activity: designing gowns.
We were there on time and Lya came in a few minutes later. She took out my file and showed me the chiffon she was able to source. They were exquisite! They looked like pastel-colored clouds. We swooned and commented that we never saw this kind of quality of chiffon among all the other designers we spoke with. I was excited already.
The first ones she spoke with were my maids of honor. They were asked to pick three colors and describe what kind of style they wanted for their ankle-length dresses. Denise, being the fashion diva that she was, had a field day designing and mix-matching colors. Nikko was excited because it was the first time someone designing for her, and she could control the way the dress "fell". Thea and Monique chose 60s-style cuts with the same tri-color combinations. Bea was the most serious of all. At 9 years old she was really discussing with Lya the kinds of combinations possible for purple and the way her neckline would look. Lya kept looking over at me amusedly and indulged Bea's suggestions. "Sige Bea, you decide. I will just assist you," Lya said.
Then our measurements were taken. I was the last one who was measured because I kept looking over the entourage designs. They looked fantanstic! I thought: hmmmm I'd like to be a bridesmaid at this wedding. Wait a minute---it's MY wedding!(insert guffawing smiley here)
I can't wait to see what the dresses will look like. Lya said she'd call us when the dresses are ready to be fitted. According to Pia, once you fit them, you could ractically walk out the studio in them because the fit is perfect :) My lining will be ready by then too, and Lya says she wants to perfect that even before she cuts the lace. OOOoooohhh! I'm sooo excited!
Here's my dress, or rather, the inspiration for my dress. Actually that's the whole look I'm aiming for. Dress, make-up, hair, atmosphere. I think it's only right I attribute this to Melissa Sweet.
Work gets in the way of preps, hehe, that's why I was only able to post this update today. I'll post photos also as soon as I get them developed. :)
I love wedding preps days like these.
We were there on time and Lya came in a few minutes later. She took out my file and showed me the chiffon she was able to source. They were exquisite! They looked like pastel-colored clouds. We swooned and commented that we never saw this kind of quality of chiffon among all the other designers we spoke with. I was excited already.
The first ones she spoke with were my maids of honor. They were asked to pick three colors and describe what kind of style they wanted for their ankle-length dresses. Denise, being the fashion diva that she was, had a field day designing and mix-matching colors. Nikko was excited because it was the first time someone designing for her, and she could control the way the dress "fell". Thea and Monique chose 60s-style cuts with the same tri-color combinations. Bea was the most serious of all. At 9 years old she was really discussing with Lya the kinds of combinations possible for purple and the way her neckline would look. Lya kept looking over at me amusedly and indulged Bea's suggestions. "Sige Bea, you decide. I will just assist you," Lya said.
Then our measurements were taken. I was the last one who was measured because I kept looking over the entourage designs. They looked fantanstic! I thought: hmmmm I'd like to be a bridesmaid at this wedding. Wait a minute---it's MY wedding!(insert guffawing smiley here)
I can't wait to see what the dresses will look like. Lya said she'd call us when the dresses are ready to be fitted. According to Pia, once you fit them, you could ractically walk out the studio in them because the fit is perfect :) My lining will be ready by then too, and Lya says she wants to perfect that even before she cuts the lace. OOOoooohhh! I'm sooo excited!Here's my dress, or rather, the inspiration for my dress. Actually that's the whole look I'm aiming for. Dress, make-up, hair, atmosphere. I think it's only right I attribute this to Melissa Sweet.
Work gets in the way of preps, hehe, that's why I was only able to post this update today. I'll post photos also as soon as I get them developed. :)
I love wedding preps days like these.
Sunday, June 19
Friday, June 17
9.27 am
somewhere in the middle of ortigas, en route to the office. hot, humid day. traffic. feeling drowsy and braindead, dreading the onslaught of work waiting.
then a text message:
i want to live
the rest of my life
with you Bebe.
Mwah
my eyes teared. made my day. and the rest of my life.
then a text message:
i want to live
the rest of my life
with you Bebe.
Mwah
my eyes teared. made my day. and the rest of my life.
Monday, June 13
Listen Up!
All right ladies, it's time to kick some cyber butt! An enterprising group of Pinoys want to give Filipinas a more respected, more prominent place in cyberspace by creating the fabulous filipina movement.
It's so cool! They want to increase hits to websites done by Filipinas, and these should show how we are achievers and contributors to society---not the stuff mail order brides are made of. Jonas Diego wrote an article about in his blog about what kinds of sites are displayed when you do a google search for filipinas. It's quite appaling. Is this the kind of presence we want online? Is this how we want the world to see us? This kind of mentality will exist for ages if we don't do something about it now. Besides, you KNOW you can do something about it.
It's really easy. fbaulousfilipinas.net proposes several ways to make our presence felt online. One way is to what I did: link up their banner and in the metatags part of my code include the words "filipina" and "pinay" and "filipino women". This way, if anyone does a search on google, my site will be up there with other websites that celebrate the filipina...and not ones that sell them! This is one small step in changing the Pinay image, but if we all come together in this endeavor, we'll really make people change their minds. It can be done.
So go on, manipulate your blog codes now. Visit the fabulous filipina website for more details. Most of all, tell other fabulous filipinas about it! Yeah! Pinays kick ass! ♥ ♥ ♥
It's so cool! They want to increase hits to websites done by Filipinas, and these should show how we are achievers and contributors to society---not the stuff mail order brides are made of. Jonas Diego wrote an article about in his blog about what kinds of sites are displayed when you do a google search for filipinas. It's quite appaling. Is this the kind of presence we want online? Is this how we want the world to see us? This kind of mentality will exist for ages if we don't do something about it now. Besides, you KNOW you can do something about it.
It's really easy. fbaulousfilipinas.net proposes several ways to make our presence felt online. One way is to what I did: link up their banner and in the metatags part of my code include the words "filipina" and "pinay" and "filipino women". This way, if anyone does a search on google, my site will be up there with other websites that celebrate the filipina...and not ones that sell them! This is one small step in changing the Pinay image, but if we all come together in this endeavor, we'll really make people change their minds. It can be done.
So go on, manipulate your blog codes now. Visit the fabulous filipina website for more details. Most of all, tell other fabulous filipinas about it! Yeah! Pinays kick ass! ♥ ♥ ♥
What
I think I kind of know what it is. I'm not sure. Maybe. It's such a burden to bringing around, this---whatever you call it. Some people call it dark clouds encircling your spirit. Others call it a deadweight hanging from your heart. Sometimes it just feels like this big fat pillow smothering your face and you find it impossible to breathe, and difficult to think. You're in a panic and you lie still, struggling and immobile at the same time.
What it is, I think, is just plain fear. Fear to do anything. Fear of...failing. Fear of making someone else unhappy. Fear of trying so hard but ending up disappointed. Fear of being taken advantage of. Fear of trusting people...again--because they were the ones who broke your trust in the first place.
And that fear just grips you, until you're standing stock still in a corner trying to rationalize the reasons why you are afraid, what you'd do--your escape route. You pick everything to the bones and try to find the reason why when there really isn't any, and it just is. But you force yourself to believe there's a reason, even when there isn't and you end up feeling stupid and a failure all over again.
Sometimes there are moments when you're lucid and you realize you've been acting silly. You realize everything is just a matter of mindset and you feel okay. But you're living in constant fear of that dark cloud returning, that deadweight getting heavier. And then the fear is fed.
It cyclic, it's draining, it's insane almost. And I get so tired of it and I want to get out of it but for some reason I kept being held back. Let me complain a bit: *sigh* It's just that I'm so tired of trying to be everyone to other people. I end up being nothing to myself. And I get so lost, I don't know where to turn because people have gotten tired of me (I think). I miss the girl who used to think she could be this and that, who could take pictures and enjoy the process, who can spend time alone and not brood, but dream.
I want to enjoy what I'm doing, where I am now, who I'm with, whenever I want to...without the guilt. I want to be happy with me. I don't think that's too much to ask. If people would just let me, then maybe I could. If I could just take this next step, then perhaps I will be okay in time for my wedding day.
What it is, I think, is just plain fear. Fear to do anything. Fear of...failing. Fear of making someone else unhappy. Fear of trying so hard but ending up disappointed. Fear of being taken advantage of. Fear of trusting people...again--because they were the ones who broke your trust in the first place.
And that fear just grips you, until you're standing stock still in a corner trying to rationalize the reasons why you are afraid, what you'd do--your escape route. You pick everything to the bones and try to find the reason why when there really isn't any, and it just is. But you force yourself to believe there's a reason, even when there isn't and you end up feeling stupid and a failure all over again.
Sometimes there are moments when you're lucid and you realize you've been acting silly. You realize everything is just a matter of mindset and you feel okay. But you're living in constant fear of that dark cloud returning, that deadweight getting heavier. And then the fear is fed.
It cyclic, it's draining, it's insane almost. And I get so tired of it and I want to get out of it but for some reason I kept being held back. Let me complain a bit: *sigh* It's just that I'm so tired of trying to be everyone to other people. I end up being nothing to myself. And I get so lost, I don't know where to turn because people have gotten tired of me (I think). I miss the girl who used to think she could be this and that, who could take pictures and enjoy the process, who can spend time alone and not brood, but dream.
I want to enjoy what I'm doing, where I am now, who I'm with, whenever I want to...without the guilt. I want to be happy with me. I don't think that's too much to ask. If people would just let me, then maybe I could. If I could just take this next step, then perhaps I will be okay in time for my wedding day.
Tuesday, June 7
Say What You Mean!
This came in one of my office mailing lists but I never really read it til I saw it on Rej's blog! Gad!
These are the words that are so unique and loaded in meaning that they will never find a direct translation in the English language. Forget traditional dictionaries. Keep this.
1. Achuchu (A-chu-chu).
This refers to the pointless insincerities being said during long, involved conversations about nothing at all.
2. Ano (A-noh)
The all-around, all-purpose word for everything.
(1) Pronoun in interrogation: Ano? (What)
(2) Noun: Where is your ano? (Where is your father/mother/dead-uncle's-second-cousin)
(3) Verb: Anuhin this. (Paint/kill/maim/castrate this.)
(4) Adjective: This is so ano. (This is so pretty/big/astounding.)
(5) Interjection: Ano! (What the hell!)
(6) Substitute for genitalia: Did you ano your ano?
The use of ano is quite dangerous for the untrained ear, and must be put into the proper setting. "Honey, the ano is too long, we have to cut it," must be accompanied by the proper understanding of the context, as results may be critical to a couple's future.
3. Booba (boo-bah).
A female blessed with larger than usual mammary glands, which can be used as weapons of mass destruction.
4. Checheboreche (Che-che-boh-re-che)
Same as achuchu. It is interesting to ponder on the reason why there are so many words in the Filipino language that beautifully describe meaningless chatter.
5. Epal (Eh-pal).
An individual who believes he is God.
6. Gigil (gee-gil).
An uncontrollable desire to bite something.
7. Hipon (Hee-pon).
Literally "shrimp," whose body is eaten while its head is thrown away, this refers to a female whose body is to die for and whose face looks like it belongs to the dead.
8. Kikay (kee-kay).
Refers to individuals who carry a brush, hand wash, moisturizer, lip-gloss and various other facial enhancements in a case (aptly called a kikay kit) inside her bag. Recent inspections of various backpacks have led to the conclusion it is not a purely female trait. This breed cannot resist checking themselves out on mirrors, glass windows, bread knives, sidewalk puddles and plastic-covered notebooks.
9. Kaekekan (Ka-ek-e-kahn)
Same as achuchu and chechebureche.
10. Kilig (keel-leg).
A rush of excitement due to the actions, presence or even mention of he whom you see as the future father of your children.
11. Laglag-brip (lag-lag-brip).
The female counterpart of laglag-panti.
12. Laglag-panti (lag-lag-pan-tee).
A man so incredibly hot, so heart-stoppingly gorgeous and oozing with masculinity that female underwear (whether worn by males or females) falls to the ground without effort whatsoever.
13. Indyanero (In-jan-neh-ro).
An individual who fails to appear at an appointment without prior warning. Not to be confused with individuals who appear according to Filipino time (approximately 10 minutes before the meeting is to end)
14. Japorms (Jah-porms).
Describes an individual dressed differently from the usual (typically involves clothes that have been laundered and pant legs of roughly the same length)
15. Lagot (Lah-got)
A prophesy of evil things to come.
16. Para (Pah-rah).
A term that informs the driver of a jeep to stop and pause (usually in the middle of the road) as the individual speaking intends to leave the vehicle. Dangerous for individuals as drivers seem to believe having one foot in the air is all that is necessary for descent.
17. Takusa (Ta-kuh-sa).
Derived from takot sa asawa (afraid of wife), this is a term used to describe the silent (very silent) minority of males married to feminine reincarnations of Hitler.
18. Torpe (tore-peh).
A gentleman who is desperately attracted to a female yet by some strange compulsion is reduced to a frozen mound of stuttering male whenever that female is near.
Armed with this list and a smile, you will be sure to make the proper impression not just on your new relations, but on your loved one as well. Now let's practice:
"Honey, when I first saw you, I made laglag brip, and was almost torpe. When I finally got the nerve to date you, I almost became indyanero, because I didn't think I had the right japorms. When you're around, I'm kilig, when you're not, I get gigil. You may think all this is achuchu, kaekekan, just checheboreche, but in truth, my love, I'm so ano with you."
These are the words that are so unique and loaded in meaning that they will never find a direct translation in the English language. Forget traditional dictionaries. Keep this.
1. Achuchu (A-chu-chu).
This refers to the pointless insincerities being said during long, involved conversations about nothing at all.
2. Ano (A-noh)
The all-around, all-purpose word for everything.
(1) Pronoun in interrogation: Ano? (What)
(2) Noun: Where is your ano? (Where is your father/mother/dead-uncle's
(3) Verb: Anuhin this. (Paint/kill/maim/castrate this.)
(4) Adjective: This is so ano. (This is so pretty/big/astounding.)
(5) Interjection: Ano! (What the hell!)
(6) Substitute for genitalia: Did you ano your ano?
The use of ano is quite dangerous for the untrained ear, and must be put into the proper setting. "Honey, the ano is too long, we have to cut it," must be accompanied by the proper understanding of the context, as results may be critical to a couple's future.
3. Booba (boo-bah).
A female blessed with larger than usual mammary glands, which can be used as weapons of mass destruction.
4. Checheboreche (Che-che-boh-re-che)
Same as achuchu. It is interesting to ponder on the reason why there are so many words in the Filipino language that beautifully describe meaningless chatter.
5. Epal (Eh-pal).
An individual who believes he is God.
6. Gigil (gee-gil).
An uncontrollable desire to bite something.
7. Hipon (Hee-pon).
Literally "shrimp," whose body is eaten while its head is thrown away, this refers to a female whose body is to die for and whose face looks like it belongs to the dead.
8. Kikay (kee-kay).
Refers to individuals who carry a brush, hand wash, moisturizer, lip-gloss and various other facial enhancements in a case (aptly called a kikay kit) inside her bag. Recent inspections of various backpacks have led to the conclusion it is not a purely female trait. This breed cannot resist checking themselves out on mirrors, glass windows, bread knives, sidewalk puddles and plastic-covered notebooks.
9. Kaekekan (Ka-ek-e-kahn)
Same as achuchu and chechebureche.
10. Kilig (keel-leg).
A rush of excitement due to the actions, presence or even mention of he whom you see as the future father of your children.
11. Laglag-brip (lag-lag-brip).
The female counterpart of laglag-panti.
12. Laglag-panti (lag-lag-pan-tee).
A man so incredibly hot, so heart-stoppingly gorgeous and oozing with masculinity that female underwear (whether worn by males or females) falls to the ground without effort whatsoever.
13. Indyanero (In-jan-neh-ro).
An individual who fails to appear at an appointment without prior warning. Not to be confused with individuals who appear according to Filipino time (approximately 10 minutes before the meeting is to end)
14. Japorms (Jah-porms).
Describes an individual dressed differently from the usual (typically involves clothes that have been laundered and pant legs of roughly the same length)
15. Lagot (Lah-got)
A prophesy of evil things to come.
16. Para (Pah-rah).
A term that informs the driver of a jeep to stop and pause (usually in the middle of the road) as the individual speaking intends to leave the vehicle. Dangerous for individuals as drivers seem to believe having one foot in the air is all that is necessary for descent.
17. Takusa (Ta-kuh-sa).
Derived from takot sa asawa (afraid of wife), this is a term used to describe the silent (very silent) minority of males married to feminine reincarnations of Hitler.
18. Torpe (tore-peh).
A gentleman who is desperately attracted to a female yet by some strange compulsion is reduced to a frozen mound of stuttering male whenever that female is near.
Armed with this list and a smile, you will be sure to make the proper impression not just on your new relations, but on your loved one as well. Now let's practice:
"Honey, when I first saw you, I made laglag brip, and was almost torpe. When I finally got the nerve to date you, I almost became indyanero, because I didn't think I had the right japorms. When you're around, I'm kilig, when you're not, I get gigil. You may think all this is achuchu, kaekekan, just checheboreche, but in truth, my love, I'm so ano with you."
To feel better
I will list down some wedding preps accomplishments thus far:
1. deposited downpayment for Lya Armovit ten minutes ago (woohoo)
2. got our rings from Matus last Friday
3. won arrhae at the last NBC Tent bridal fair!
4. deposited downpayment for reception venue
5. drew up tentative menu with Tita Marina
6. finished guest list (A-List)
7. deposited downpayment for Rene Gaviola
8. deposited downpayment for Buddy Gancenia
9. deposited downpayment for CoH
10. canvassed for rooms at Evercrest
11. pre-registered for DW on July 1-3
12. updated wedsite (not yet done)
13. developed studies for STD and invites
14. finalized my entourage
15. finalized ninangs' colors for their wedding day dresses
16. placed my order for our wedding cake with Chocolat; sent designs also
There! Not bad at all :) I'm anxious and excited to start working on the invites, and have the STDs printed out so we can formally inform our principal and secondary sponsors. I should also pay a visit to my preffered florist this week.
Follow up on the cake too.
*********************************************************
Dearest Mik: we have to have coffee one of these days. :)
Nikko: you'll always be the Divaest best friend any girl could have!
1. deposited downpayment for Lya Armovit ten minutes ago (woohoo)
2. got our rings from Matus last Friday
3. won arrhae at the last NBC Tent bridal fair!
4. deposited downpayment for reception venue
5. drew up tentative menu with Tita Marina
6. finished guest list (A-List)
7. deposited downpayment for Rene Gaviola
8. deposited downpayment for Buddy Gancenia
9. deposited downpayment for CoH
10. canvassed for rooms at Evercrest
11. pre-registered for DW on July 1-3
12. updated wedsite (not yet done)
13. developed studies for STD and invites
14. finalized my entourage
15. finalized ninangs' colors for their wedding day dresses
16. placed my order for our wedding cake with Chocolat; sent designs also
There! Not bad at all :) I'm anxious and excited to start working on the invites, and have the STDs printed out so we can formally inform our principal and secondary sponsors. I should also pay a visit to my preffered florist this week.
Follow up on the cake too.
*********************************************************
Dearest Mik: we have to have coffee one of these days. :)
Nikko: you'll always be the Divaest best friend any girl could have!
Sunday, June 5
That Thing I Do
I wonder what it is. Sometimes there are days when I'm perfectly okay and then in a wink my whole mood changes. Everything becomes ... disjointed. Thoughts seem to cloud the sunshine that was there. These are thoughts that have to do with worth and woe. Maybe these are thoughts that don't really mean anything, but they manage to transform me instantly. Then the familiar feeling of dread creeps in. It's akin to uncertainty and sadness at not being able to do one thing or another, or not being the person you hoped to be. These thoughts sometimes have to do with questions like, where am I and where am I headed with all this? Is this the right place/ Am I the right person? Is this where I should really be? Is this what I should be doing now?
And then thoughts turn to the future: maybe things will get worse, may I'm really searching for something I'll never find, maybe that elusive one thing is what will make me totally okay. Then another problem surfaces: what is that "one thing"? After all that has happened, I wonder if I'm the only one searching for my one thing. Sometimes I feel so disappointed with myself for feeling this way. I feel like such an ingrate. Like I'm so selfish. Sometimes I know I make others feel bad, simply because I can't get to my one thing, and lay the blame on the people who love me ... parang napagbubuntunan ba. And it's not fair.
I wonder if these are just mood swings or if this is a permanent condition of incompleteness. Uncertainty of incompleteness. Dreadful self-fulfilling prophecies emerging. Disappointment at not achieving more, being more; frustration at constantly searching, comparing, and most of the time, not measuring up.
Have I done too little, or have I done enough?
And then thoughts turn to the future: maybe things will get worse, may I'm really searching for something I'll never find, maybe that elusive one thing is what will make me totally okay. Then another problem surfaces: what is that "one thing"? After all that has happened, I wonder if I'm the only one searching for my one thing. Sometimes I feel so disappointed with myself for feeling this way. I feel like such an ingrate. Like I'm so selfish. Sometimes I know I make others feel bad, simply because I can't get to my one thing, and lay the blame on the people who love me ... parang napagbubuntunan ba. And it's not fair.
I wonder if these are just mood swings or if this is a permanent condition of incompleteness. Uncertainty of incompleteness. Dreadful self-fulfilling prophecies emerging. Disappointment at not achieving more, being more; frustration at constantly searching, comparing, and most of the time, not measuring up.
Have I done too little, or have I done enough?
Thursday, June 2
MILESTONE!
And what a milestone indeedy! After obsessing and stressing about it, I finally have my designer!
GAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! (big yawp of relief)
My thanks first go out to all the beautiful ladies of the feb w@wies mini chat group for putting up with all the questions and opinion exchanges-->Grace, Glo and Nette especially for tearing through levels and levels of designer stories and tulle talk. special thanks should also go out to Pia for asnwering all my questions, and, with her sweet patience, convinced me to be a Lya Armovit bride.
Hahahahahahaah! I feel like jumping up and down and twirling around and hanging upside down and doing cartwheels even if I don't know how!
Today was actually my second visit with her. This time my mom and my tita came with me to meet her. I was a little nervous because I was afraid my gut feel would be wrong again. I'm glad I wasn't. She walked into the shop and she smiled and she remembered me. We talked about the arrangments, about payment, about meetings with the bridal party. She stood by her word that she wanted to meet my attendants before she started designing. She wanted to be able to design something everyone would like AND could wear again. Even if I asked everyone to pay for their clothes, they would be happy for what they paid for! yahahahahaha!
But I won't let them pay of course.
We discussed some ideas, she showed us some exquisite fabrics she purchased from her recent trip to Eu-ropppP! and India. These were gorgeously beaded chiffon cloths from India...so minimal yet so very elegant. Then there was the silk organdy. Oh! My goodness. Truly, truly from Louis XIV's era of decadence. These were extravagantly priced as well...and you could see and feel why. These were hand-woven, hand-embroidered stuff -- unique and absolutely pure silk. WOW!
So anyway, like I said, we discussed some ideas and she had a great suggestion for my gown: keep it lining-less at the back. WOOOOOHOOOOOO! Now that's what I'm talking about! I want something surprise-y. I know I'm conservative and all but I want my "show" to be fun. I can't wait to see what she'll do for the entourage. She also had sound suggestions for the ninangs' colors: I originally said they'd each be wearing a darker color of the pastels. But she voted against it, saying it would look so cluttered. They needed to be neutral, to go with the spray of color the ento would be wearing; but at the same time, she didn't want them to look matrona-ish. The final decision? Let them wear a champagne-colored hue. What a BRILLIANT idea! She gave me a swatch and I felt so relieved. I have found a genius. She also vetoed my suggestion to buy tela for the secondary sponsors, saying I might regret it if the tahi wasn't good. So she built the three SS into the package...and the price was still within budget! Wonderful!
Happy, happy, happy. I feel so light-hearted. Finally I am breathing normally again. Now it feels real again, the wedding. And suddenly it doesn't seem like it will happen next year still. I'm really getting married. My dress is about to be conceived. And a new life awaits.
This is the one dress that will define the new person I will become. For something as delicate and significant and life-changing as this, I'm glad my heart told me to put my whole trust in Lya. And I'm glad I listened to my heart.
GAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! (big yawp of relief)
My thanks first go out to all the beautiful ladies of the feb w@wies mini chat group for putting up with all the questions and opinion exchanges-->Grace, Glo and Nette especially for tearing through levels and levels of designer stories and tulle talk. special thanks should also go out to Pia for asnwering all my questions, and, with her sweet patience, convinced me to be a Lya Armovit bride.
Hahahahahahaah! I feel like jumping up and down and twirling around and hanging upside down and doing cartwheels even if I don't know how!
Today was actually my second visit with her. This time my mom and my tita came with me to meet her. I was a little nervous because I was afraid my gut feel would be wrong again. I'm glad I wasn't. She walked into the shop and she smiled and she remembered me. We talked about the arrangments, about payment, about meetings with the bridal party. She stood by her word that she wanted to meet my attendants before she started designing. She wanted to be able to design something everyone would like AND could wear again. Even if I asked everyone to pay for their clothes, they would be happy for what they paid for! yahahahahaha!
But I won't let them pay of course.
We discussed some ideas, she showed us some exquisite fabrics she purchased from her recent trip to Eu-ropppP! and India. These were gorgeously beaded chiffon cloths from India...so minimal yet so very elegant. Then there was the silk organdy. Oh! My goodness. Truly, truly from Louis XIV's era of decadence. These were extravagantly priced as well...and you could see and feel why. These were hand-woven, hand-embroidered stuff -- unique and absolutely pure silk. WOW!
So anyway, like I said, we discussed some ideas and she had a great suggestion for my gown: keep it lining-less at the back. WOOOOOHOOOOOO! Now that's what I'm talking about! I want something surprise-y. I know I'm conservative and all but I want my "show" to be fun. I can't wait to see what she'll do for the entourage. She also had sound suggestions for the ninangs' colors: I originally said they'd each be wearing a darker color of the pastels. But she voted against it, saying it would look so cluttered. They needed to be neutral, to go with the spray of color the ento would be wearing; but at the same time, she didn't want them to look matrona-ish. The final decision? Let them wear a champagne-colored hue. What a BRILLIANT idea! She gave me a swatch and I felt so relieved. I have found a genius. She also vetoed my suggestion to buy tela for the secondary sponsors, saying I might regret it if the tahi wasn't good. So she built the three SS into the package...and the price was still within budget! Wonderful!
Happy, happy, happy. I feel so light-hearted. Finally I am breathing normally again. Now it feels real again, the wedding. And suddenly it doesn't seem like it will happen next year still. I'm really getting married. My dress is about to be conceived. And a new life awaits.
This is the one dress that will define the new person I will become. For something as delicate and significant and life-changing as this, I'm glad my heart told me to put my whole trust in Lya. And I'm glad I listened to my heart.
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