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( Bonnaroo ScheduleCollapse )The schedule for Bonnaroo was announced today, and this is my tentative schedule. As always, I do not actually believe I will see all the bands highlighted, but certain acts -- Karen Elson, Band of Skulls, Grace Potter, The Decemberists, Florence + the Machine, Alberta Cross, and Iron & Wine -- will not be missed unless I am dead, dying, or pull another stunt like I did last year. The yellow boxes are conflicts that can't be resolved. I only kinda like Freelance Whales so I don't care about missing them, but I am super bummed about missing DeVotchKa and Loretta Lynn, and just pissed that there is a fifteen minute overlap between two must-see acts, Florence and The Decemberists. Those grievances aside, it looks like a pretty good festival this year and assuming I get my ticket -- I have no reason to believe it won't be forwarded to me, but I am paranoid -- I have ultimatelyd decided to go. I know Vince would want me to go, and I've got another friend, Tommy, that is relying on me for transportation to the festival. Also, a new friend, Amanda, might camp with us, which would be nice. I've not been to Bonnaroo with more than one other person since my very first festival and having someone else there will make it a little less bittersweet.
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I received an email a couple hours ago from a mutual friend of me and Vince. They traveled together to Jamaica last week, and they visited a distillery yesterday with an open bar. They tried all kinds of different rum, then went back to their hotel. Vince fell asleep on the bus so Maja, our friend, put him in bed. Sometime later, he stopped snoring, and then stopped breathing. I got a voicemail from his mother this morning, but she was so soft-spoken that I didn't hear the message and deleted it, but after I got Maja's email, I called her and she's doing as well as someone who lost their only child can be. I think I cried more than she did, and she kept saying she was sorry. I felt like an asshole letting her say she was sorry to me like that, but I didn't know what to say. What can you say? I met Vince through a pro-wrestling message board a couple years after the turn of the millennium. We got along well, and had a natural and easy chemistry that soon translated into a real friendship. He was one of my very first online friends, my oldest friend, and one of my very best friends. We kept in touch through the usual social media sites, and talked by phone a few times a year. but I only met him three times, for a total of about two and half weeks -- first in 2005, when I spent a week with him and his mother (who adopted me as a second child), then in 2008 and 2010 for Bonnaroo. He stayed with us both times, and my mom liked him as much as his liked me. She cried when she found out, too. He, Maja, and I already had tickets for this year's Bonnaroo, and I was really looking forward to seeing him again in three months. We also had tentative plans to go to Serbia with Maja next year to see the NEXT festival, but now that isn't going to happen, and I have no idea if Maja and I will even go to Bonnaroo without him. Though she and I are friends, he was the bond between us, and beyond that, I don't know how I would feel going without him. It had become our tradition, so not having him there, especially when he bought my ticket, just wouldn't feel right. I love you, Vince. I consider you the closest thing I've ever had to a brother, and I don't understand how it was you instead of me. You were better than me in almost every way. I just don't understand, and I am so sorry to see you go. Tags: vince
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I've been more of a Hazards of Love fan for the past couple years than an outright Decemberists fan, but I am currently listening to their most recent album, The King is Dead, and I think that might be changing. I'm only a handful of songs in, and think this album is amazing. While Hazards of Love was a progressive and symphonic folk opera, The King of Dead is much more traditional and pastoral. Some of the songs, like All Arise!, skirt pretty closely to outright country than the indie folk and americana they typically play, while others, like their single, Down by the Water, almost sound like a Bruce Springsteen or Neil Young song, but my two favorites so far are Rise to Me and Rox in the Box, which take me out of the dead of winter and make me feel like I'm at a large family picnic on the lake in early summer. I really hope they come back to Bonnaroo this summer. I missed their Hazards of Love set in 2008, but this would go a long ways towards making up for that. Tags: down by the water, the decemberists, the king is dead, youtube Current Mood: impressed Current Music: "This Is Why We Fight" - The Decemberists
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I'm not a Christian, but the people that insist on stating Christmas isn't a Christian holiday because it's a conglomeration of other cultures' traditions probably annoy me more than the fundamentalists who believe there is an honest War Against Christmas. For one, most act as if you're hearing this for the first time and seem to expect you to thank them for making the scales fall from your eyes. Their smugness irritates me. For another, no culture is an island so all the other holidays that every other culture celebrates are just as piecemeal and bastardized. This is especially annoying because Saturnalia, the holiday that Christmas was originally based on, was a Roman holiday, and anyone that knows anything about Roman mythology knows that they stole as liberally from other religions as modern English steals from other languages. I'm no religious scholar, but I will print off all eight years of my LJ and eat every single page if it's somehow proven to me that Saturnalia was not some unholy mixture of Etruscan, Greek, Egyptian, and who knows what other traditions. People act as if Christians co-opted this wonderful solstice tradition when they were probably just the latest in a long line of holiday thieves. Finally, they're completely missing the point that the origins of the holiday ultimately don't matter, but how it's currently and popularly celebrated is what's most important, especially for secular celebrators like me and, presumably, them. I don't care a whit about the baby Jesus and whether or not he was born in December or March, nor do I care if Mary and Joseph conceived him traditionally or YHWH pulled a Zeus and touched some part of his body to Mary's forehead to knock her up. To me, this is just a time to get together with family, enjoy their presence, and hopefully score some sweet gifts. I don't understand why people have to be so contentious about the holiday. Tags: christmas Current Music: "My Best Friend is You" - Kate Nash Current Mood: cold
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The Miz, one of my two favorite WWE performers -- the other is Edge -- won his very first world title last night by cashing in his guaranteed contract after Randy Orton, the former champion, squeaked out a win over Wade Barrett. It was obvious it was coming based on promos from the past couple weeks, as well as Miz bowing out of an earlier King of the Ring qualifying match, sending out his lackey, Alex Riley, in his place. Then, during the introductions to the main event itself, Barret's stable ambushed Orton while he was on his way to the ring, and Barrett almost won the title himself, so when Orton managed to beat him with ten minutes to go, I was literally waiting for Miz's music to queue up. I was still pretty excited when it happened, though, and was actually on the edge of my seat for the couple minutes it took him to finish Orton off. There have been a half-dozen Money in the Bank guaranteed contracts over the past few years and every single person who's cashed it in has won, so I was worried Miz would be the first to lose but he won with the Skull Crushing Finale, and earned his very first World Title. I'm genuinely happy for him as he started out only a few years ago, but he put in a lot of hard work on both his acting and athleticism, and morphed from a reality TV never-was that no one took seriously into a legitimate character and performer that most either love or hate, but few to none are indifferent to; for instance, look at this girl's reaction to him winning. That is some serious hatred. He's also obviously someone that loves the sport based on what I've heard of him from his Road Rules days. I think of reality TV in much the same way that most of you probably think of pro wrestling, so I never knew who the guy was until he entered WWE, but apparently, he was a huge fanboy and it's nice to see people like that realize their dreams. The WWE title is the most important one in the world of wrestling, so he's won its ultimate prize, and that is ... awesome. Though really unlikely, I'm keeping my fingers crossed that he'll hold on to it until WrestleMania so I can see him defend the title live. Tags: i came to play, oh god i'm even nerdier than i realized, pro wrestling, the miz, wwe, youtube Current Music: "I Came to Play" - Downstait
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I have a tumblr now. I am not sure why or how, or even what I am supposed to do with it, but I have one! If you wish to follow me, It is here. My user name is fughetta. I also have a new default icon courtesy of enna. It is of my beard-idol, Sam Beam, looking especially Yeti-ish. I hope to one day be a tenth the Yeti he is. And, finally, I have spent all weekend watching the first two seasons of Parks and Recreation. It's easily one of my most favorite shows ever already, and I've only seen about twenty of its thirty episodes. If it gets canceled this year, I will be very sad. :( Tags: parks and recreation, sam beam, tumblr Current Mood: okay
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 This is Molly, AKA Mei-Mei, a tortoiseshell kitten that I got from Jessica, a co-worker and former attendee of the erstwhile Synergy Chamber. She is one of the most laid-back cats I've ever had. She's only about nine weeks old but instead of seeming distraught at some strange man plucking her from home, she nestled right up to my chest when she was given to me, and then curled up for a snooze when I put her in my passenger seat., Then, when I reached over to give her a reassuring scratch behind the ear on the half-hour ride home, she rolled over to get tummy tickles, and grabbed my hand with her paws so I couldn't pull away. I've had a lot of cats in my day, but I'm not used to them being so immediately at ease and trusting. She's since spent the past couple days hiding out -- this is the best picture I've been able to manage in two days of trying. She is a ninja -- but after I disturbed her nap to snap this picture, she's decided to explore the homestead in a little more detail. I think we're gonna be good friends. Tags: adorableness, kitten, molly Current Music: "Mary is Mary" - Wye Oak Current Mood: chipper
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The President is not a Muslim. He does not believe in this crazy Muslim bullshit, okay? You'd have to be insane to think that an invisible perfect man in the sky communicated with a merchant in the 600s. The President isn't crazy. He knows the sky god impregnated a Jewish virgin 2,000 years ago that then gave birth to himself, worked as a carpenter, and died. It's just common sense. The President believes in all the same crazy shit as the rest of you. And please know that the President completely respects your stupid and obstinate devotion to the idea that he believes in the wrong crazy thing and your obsession with this irrelevant topic. If he were white, he'd think he was a Muslim, too.
Tags: obama, public opinion, quote, religion, sdmb Current Music: "The Bullpen" - Dessa
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Do you have any recurring dreams? If so, what do you think it says about your personality? How about your unconscious hopes, fears, and desires?
The only recurring dreams I have are fairly stereotypical. Lots of latent parent issues, showing up at work naked, finding out I hadn't graduated high school, and things like that. When I was younger -- from six up to my teens -- I used to have somewhat more interesting ones. I would steal my parents' car, try to run from something but would only be able to run in slow motion, various sexual dreams I won't detail, and something really nice happening, and thinking "this better not be a dream" only to find out the next morning that it was. I guess what it says about my personality is that I don't have much of one. None of those are particularly noteworthy, and are all pretty generic. Tags: dreams, writer's block Current Music: Clare & the Reasons - Pluto
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He falls asleep on her chest The best sleep he´d ever met Nevertheless he dreams of some stranger's caress So he awakes and he knows Maybe someone else is supposed To meet his hazy anticipating eyes
He draws the curtains aside Unfolding the first morning light He glances at his disenchanted life
Restlessness is me, you see It's hard to be safe It's difficult to be happy
It's the changing of the seasons He says "I need them" I guess I'm too Scandinavian The relief of spring Intoxication of summer rain The clearness of fall How winter makes me reconsider it all
Restlessness is me, you see It's hard to be safe It's difficult to be happy
And then she awakes Reaches for the embrace He decides not To worry about seasons again One of my best friends, Anne, made me a mix for my birthday last month. It was a disc full of songs about her perception of me, and of us as friends, and there were a number that really grabbed me, but this song, Changing of the Seasons, really speaks to me. It's quite possibly the best encapsulation of my self-perception that I've ever encountered, either romantic (as this song obviously intends) or otherwise. It perfectly sums up the uncertainty of life, and the bittersweet resignation at the end really speaks to me. No matter how contented I am, I always feel as restless as he does, like there's something I'm missing, even if I have the best sleep I've ever had in the embrace of someone who doesn't doesn't seem to have those same reservations, and not realizing what I might have Tags: ane brun, changing of the seasons, lyrics, youtube Current Music: "Changing of the Seasons" - Ane Brun
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After much consideration (and over four weeks late), I have concluded that The Hazards of Love, a rock opera and concept album by The Decemberists, is the best album of 2009. Honorable mentions go to: • Lungs by Florence + the Machine • The Vanishing Sessions (B-Sides Part I) by Sarah Fimm • Them Crooked Vultures by Them Crooked Vultures • The Knot by Wye Oak The Hazards of Love tells the story of a woman named Margaret and a forest dwelling shapeshifter named William. They met one day while Margaret was out riding and came upon him as an injured fawn. She dismounted to help him upon seeing him, and while attending to him, night fell and he turned into a man. Immediately smitten, they fall to the forest floor and have sex. Margaret goes back to her village afterward, but she is pregnant and leaves months later, when her bump starts becoming too large to ignore. She seeks out William, and when she finds him, they profess their love to one another. They have sex again, but are caught by the Queen -- William's adoptive mother (she rescued him from the river as an infant) and personification of the forest -- and she forbids him seeing Margaret further. She says this in my favorite song, "The Wanting Comes in Waves/Repaid": How I made you, I wrought you, I pulled you From ore I labored you From cancer I cradled you And now, this is how I am repaid This is how I am repaid
Remember when I found you The miseries that hounded you And I gave you motion, anointed you with lotions And now, this is how I am repaid This is how I am repaid
William, though, is in love, and begs her to have one night of total freedom, and he will serve her for the rest of his life. This, of course, is a lie, and he plans to run away with Margaret. The Queen, after consideration, says it's a deal. We are introduced to the Rake in the next song. He was once married, and enjoyed the first few months of marriage, when he was getting lots of sex, but then his wife started having children, and then died while having her fourth. Being a sociopath, he goes about murdering the three children he's been left with, and sets out to find new women to have lots and lots of sex with. He eventually discovers Margaret the same day that she and William are going to run away, and abducts her. He throws her on his horse, and gallops away. They eventually come to the Annan River, an uncrossable river, and the very same body of water that the Queen rescued William from as an infant. The Queen, not being as stupid as William wished she was, cuts a deal with the Rake, telling him that since Margaret is going to steal her baby from him, she'll fly him across the uncrossable river. She also basically says she doesn't give a damn what happens to the girl, and the Rake is pretty much free to rape her to death, eat her flesh, and sew her skin into his clothes, and if he's feeling magnanimous, to do it in that order. They strike a deal, and he is taken to the other shore, where he finds a place to do his heinous deeds. However, the ghost of the Rake's murdered children reveal themselves at this point, and wreak their vengeance upon him. Meanwhile, William discovers Margaret's gone, and tracks her to the riverbank. Desperate, he pleads with the river to him cross. He promises that if it will just calm its currents, he will return later, and it can claim his life as its reward. It allows him to pass, and he arrives in time to save Margaret. He presumably kills the Rake as well, but that isn't made clear. Once reunited, they make their way back to the river and attempt to cross, but the river is intent on recouping its debt. Knowing the river has the best of them, they marry themselves in its currents, with the waves as their only witness, and once wed, they give in to the inevitable, allowing the river to claim them as its payment for William's earlier promise. It's a simply amazing album that I listened to non-stop, for weeks. It was also one of the albums I took on the road trip to South Carolina in July, and Eliza and I probably listened to "The Wanting Comes in Waves/Repaid" a half-dozen times in addition to the three or four times we listened to the album straight-through. I'd kind of forgotten about it after that, though, but she recently mentioned listening to it again on Facebook, so I gave it another listen and was blown away all over again. You should really seek out a copy by whatever means possible. Tags: albums of 2009, review, sarah fimm, the decemberists, the hazards of love Current Music: "The Wanting Comes in Waves/Repaid" - The Decemberists
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I have been listening to music pretty much non-stop since yesterday. This is unremarkable because . . . well, I do that every day, but I'm bored, so here are some thoughts on some of the things I've been listening to. Don't expect profundity. • My new music crush is Rupa & the April Fishes, and Un Americaine a Paris is my favorite song of the moment despite not understanding a word of the lyrics. I think I've said before that I love fusion genres, and this is a prime example. It's French gypsy cabaret, and it's just entrancing. It also helps a lot that the vocalist, Rupa Myra, is gorgeous. • I think I actually prefer Destiny's Child before they became a trio. I downloaded their greatest hits, and though I did wind up liking a couple of their big hits (Independent Women is catchy), my two favorite tracks wound up being Bills, Bills, Bills and, especially Bug a Boo, neither of which were dominated by Beyonce. • The Civil Wars really need to release a full length studio album, though it should probably be a live studio album, because they do have an EP, and the version of Poison & Wine from it is vastly inferior to the live recording from their Eddie's Attic session in Decatur, Georgia. Eddie's Attic, incidentally, is where I saw Sarah Bettens and Vienna Teng, and is one of my favorite venues. • I do not understand the superstardom of Peter, Paul, and Mary in the Sixties, even taking into account that one out of every ten people over the age of fifteen was stoned or in an electric kool aid funky satan groove. • Same thing for John Denver, execpt replace Sixties for Seventies. • Sarah Fimm continues to be awesome. I received a response from a drunken email I sent to her weeks ago asking her to do a remix of my favorite song, Virus, and she said she'd put it on her list of things to do. That doesn't mean she actually will, but that she even bothered to respond is really, really awesome. Further proof of her awesomess is another (mass) email I received with a contest asking her fans to create fansites, and the grand prize winner would get a song written and performed by her about any event in your life that you so choose. I won't be doing the contest because I'm lazy, but I squeed a little in my pants when I saw that. • Soul Meets Body is the only good Death Cab for Cutie song. This is fact. Do not argue. • James Marsters as Spike is pretty good. Rest in Peace from the Once More with Feeling soundtrack is a good song and probably my favorite from the entire episode. James Marsters as James Marsters is absolutely terrible, though. His solo albums are aggressively bland. His single effort while fronting Ghost of the Robot was not terrible, though. • I think Christina Aguilera has a spectacular voice, but I just can't make myself care about her no mater how much I try. I downloaded Back to Basics because she describes it as an album full of music from the 20's, 30's, and 40's with a modern twist, and though I can hear exactly what she means by that when I listen to it, it still falls flat to me. • Artists named (Female Name) (Conjunction) (Definite Article) (Noun) have a high probability of awesomeness. Cite: Marina & the Diamonds, Florence + the Machine, Rupa & the April Fishes, and Joan Jett & the Blackhearts. • I never realized how attractive Joan Baez was, and still is. I also wasn't very familiar with her outside of her cover of The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down, but I downloaded a greatest hits compilation, and was bowled over by Diamonds and Rust. Gorgeous, gorgeous song.
Tags: joan baez, music, rupa & the april fishes, sarah fimm, the civil wars, youtube Current Music: "What Were You Expecting?" - Halestorm Current Mood: bored
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 I bought myself an early Christmas present last night: Sarah Fimm's latest album, The Vanishing Sessions (B-Sides Part I). CDBaby describes it as a warm, lush strong female voice, with the lyrical grace of Leonard Cohen, composition built on innovation, influenced by Ian Curtis of Joy Division, Grace Slick, Peter Gabriel, Portishead, Peter Murphy, Massive Attack, and orchestral rock of the 1960's. You can purchase it hereI bought it as soon as I found out it was available for purchase, and I think you should buy it, too. If, for some reason, you are hesitant, you should check out an official stream of the album at Sputnikmusic with a full review, and Sarah's thoughts on each track You can also get two tracks free for download from last.fmTags: cdbaby, christmas, sarah fimm, the vanishing sessions Current Mood: happy
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Inspired by a question on the Straight Dope Message Board: Would You Choose to be Reincarnated?My answer is no. My understanding of reincarnation is that you are reborn without memories of your previous life, which defeats the whole purpose of reincarnation to me. In my mind, your "soul" is the intangible sum of your personality, memories, and experiences, and if you remove any of those three, you're no longer the same person you were, and you can't ever be that same person again. Some shell of me may survive into the next life, but it's really no different than having a child if it's not completely me, and I'm not really interested in my biological legacy, either. There is also the question of ennui. If I do remember my next life, and the x number of lifes after that, I'm eventually going to get very tired and/or bored, and just want it to end. It may sound depressive to say I welcome eventual oblivion, but the way I look at it is that I didn't exist 28 years ago, and I'm perfectly okay with the idea of not existing again in (hopefully) another 50 or so years. Tags: reincarnation, thinky thoughts Current Mood: contemplative Current Music: "The Chamber" - The Last Shadow Puppets
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I recently made a biographical mix for Eliza, and after she wound up liking it, I thought I would make another one one for a different friend. I'm really, really anal about song choice when it comes making mixes, though -- I made two for Eliza because I hated the first one so much after I made it, and have only made one other mix of this type for anyone because I'm such a perfectionist -- and only got a half-dozen songs in before ripping my hair out in frustration. I was still in a mix making mood, so instead of making one for a friend, I decided I'd make one for me. This didn't prove to be too much easier, but I was at least able to finish it, and when I told Anne about it, she demanded that I share it when I finally got around to making it, so here it is: Fair warning; it's more than a little emo. 1. Shinedown - Simple ManMy mama told me when I was young Said sit beside me my only son And listen closely to what I say And if you do this it'll help you some sunny day Oh, yeah it will
Oh, take your time, don't live too fast Troubles will come and they will pass You'll find a woman and you'll find love And don't forget that there is a someone up above
And be a simple kind of man And be something you'll love and understand Baby be a simple kind of man Oh, won't you do this for me son if you can? Then you can
2. Sage Francis - Sea LionMa, Ma, look what I did, Ma Look what i did to my hands, I broke 'em. You gave me the stone, gave me the chisel, didn't say how to hold 'em. Didn't say to give away every piece of the puzzle 'til i was left with nothin' But I took it upon myself to crush it up and distribute the dust.
Get in the bus. Hop in the van. Jump in the water. Crawl to the land. Build another castle out of sand. Break it down and then get into the saddle again.
3. Led Zeppelin - Good Times, Bad TimesIn the days of my youth, I was told what it means to be a man, Now I've reached that age, I've tried to do all those things the best I can. No matter how I try, I find my way into the same old jam.
[...]
Sixteen, I fell in love with a girl as sweet as could be, Only took a couple of days 'til she was rid of me. She swore that she would be all mine and love me till the end, But when I whispered in her ear, I lost another friend, oooh.
4. Blue October - Into the OceanI want to swim away but don't know how Sometimes it feels just like I'm falling in the ocean Let the waves up, take me down Let the hurricane set in motion, yeah Let the rain of what I feel right now come down Let the rain come down
Where is the coastguard? I keep looking each direction For a spotlight, give me something I need something for protection Maybe flotsam, junk will do just fine the jetsam sunk, I'm left behind I'm treading for my life, believe me (How can I keep up this breathing?)
5. Modest Mouse - Missed the BoatOh, and I know this of myself I assume as much for other people Oh, and I know this of myself We've listened to more of life's end gong than the sound of life's sweet bells Was it ever worth it, was there all that much to gain? Well, we knew we'd missed the boat and we'd already missed the plane We didn't read the invite we just danced at our own wake All our favorites were playing so we could shake shake shake shake shake
6. Dar Williams - Are You Out There?Last night we drank in parking lots And why do we drink? I guess we do it 'cause And when I turned your station on You sounded more familiar than that party was You more familiar than that party It's the first time I stayed up all night It's getting light I hear the birds I'm driving home on empty streets I think I put my shirt on backwards
7. Creedence Clearwater Revival - Have You Ever Seen the Rain?Yesterday and days before Sun is cold and rain is hard I know Been that way for all my time
'til forever, on it goes Through the circle, fast and slow I know It cant stop, I wonder
8. Tegan and Sara - Dancing in the DarkI get up in the evening, and I ain't got nothing to say I come home in the moring, I go to bed feeling the same way I ain't nothing but tired, man I'm just tired and bored with myself
[...]
Message keeps getting clearer, radio's on and I'm moving round the place I check myself out in the mirror I wanna change my clothes my hair my face Man I ain't getting nowhere just sitting in a dump like this There's something happening somewhere baby I just know that there is
9. Buzzcocks - Why Can't I Touch It?Well it seems so real I can see it And it seems so real I can feel it And it seems so real I can taste it And it seems so real I can hear it So why can't I touch it? So why can't I touch it?
10. Alanis Morissette - All I Really WantAnd I am fascinated by the spiritual man I am humbled by his humble nature What I wouldn't give to find a soulmate Someone else to catch this drift And what I wouldn't give to meet a kindred Enough about me, let's talk about you for a minute Enough about you, let's talk about life for a while The conflicts, the craziness and the sound of pretenses Falling all around...all around Why are you so petrified of silence Here can you handle this?
11. O.A.R. - Heard the WorldFear, is holding me here. The television got me seeing unclear. Bravery, my neighbor, moved away. Cause I don't need to be courageous today. If the world was crumbling down, I don't wanna be alone. NO, locked up in this place.
12. K's Choice - ShadowmanAny time tomorrow a part of me will die And a new one will be born Any time tomorrow I'll get sick of asking why Sick of all the darkness I have worn Any time tomorrow I will try to do what's right Making sense of all I can Any time tomorrow I'll pretend to see the light I just might Shadowman
13. Simon & Garfunkel - The Sound of SilenceIn restless dreams I walked alone Narrow streets of cobblestone Beneath the halo of a street lamp I turned my collar to the cold and damp When my eyes were stabbed By the flash of a neon light That split the night And touched the sound of silence
14. Butterfly Boucher - Another White DashThere is Something exciting about leaving everything behind There is something Deep and pulling leaving everything behind Something about having everything You think you'll ever need Sitting in the seat next to you
15. John Mayer - Why, GeorgiaI rent a room and I fill the spaces with wood in places to make it feel like home but all I feel's alone It might be a quarter life crisis or just the stirring in my soul
Either way, I wonder sometimes about the outcome of a still verdictless life
16. Garth Brooks - When There's No One AroundThis is a song that nobody knows I couldn't begin to describe how it goes But it makes me cry or laugh right out loud It's a song that I sing when there's no one around
[...]
This is a glimpse of the child that's within He's so immature but he's still my best friend If he could learn how to fly he'd never touch down He's the kid that I am when there's no one around
17. R.E.M. - Losing My ReligionEvery whisper Of every waking hour I'm Choosing my confessions Trying to keep an eye on you Like a hurt lost and blinded fool, fool Oh no, I've said too much I set it up
18. Type O Negative - Cinnamon GirlI wanna live with a cinnamon girl I could be happy the rest of my life With a cinnamon girl.
A dreamer of pictures I run in the night You see us together, chasing the moonlight, My cinnamon girl.
19. PJ Harvey - You Said SomethingWe lean against railings Describing the colours And the smells of our homelands Acting like lovers How did we get here? To this point of living? I held my breath And you said something
And I am doing nothing wrong Riding in your car Your radio playing We sing up to the eighth floor A rooftop, in Manhattan One in the morning When you said something That I've never forgotten When you said something That was really important
20. Foo Fighters - Times Like These (Acoustic)I am a new day rising I'm a brand new sky To hang the stars upon tonight I am a little divided Do I stay or run away And leave it all behind?
All twenty songs in .rar formatIn other music news, I've done pretty much nothing but download and listen to albums all weekend (I am finishing up my 30th album, Little Voice by Sara Bareilles), and have found a couple really good bands, chief amongst them Foxboro Hot Tubs, a Green Day side project that plays '60s garage rock, and Peeping Tom, a Mike Patton side project and collaboration with various hip hop and pop artists that plays experimental trip hop. Really good stuff. I also rediscovered just how much I love Creedence Clearwater Revival. I've also discovered that I'm no fan of the Traveling Wilburys, that I still don't really care for Lynyrd Skynyrd unless it's Sweet Home Alabama, and that Cannonball is sung by The Breeders, not Veruca Salt like I previously thought. Tags: alanis morrisette, biographical mix, blue october, butterfly boucher, buzzcocks, creedence clearwater revival, dar williams, foo fighters, garth brooks, john mayer, k's choice, led zeppelin, modest mouse, musicshare, o.a.r., pj harvey, r.e.m., sage francis, shinedown, simon and garfunkel, tegan and sara, type o negative Current Music: "Many the Miles" - Sara Bareilles Current Mood: melancholy
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"They danced down the streets like dingledodies, and I shambled after as I've been doing all my life after people who interest me, because the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones that never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles..." Jack Kerouac, On the Road, Part 1, Ch. 1 Eliza loaned me her copy of On the Road by Jack Kerouac shortly before I left for New York a couple weeks ago, and I am just now getting around to reading it. I've not gotten very far . . . only the first little bit of the first chapter, really, but having read the introduction and those scant few pages, I'm finding myself identifying a lot with the stand-in for Kerouac, Sal Paradise. That excerpt in particular resonates with me. While I'm not one of those roman candles, I find myself being drawn to them like moths to a flame, flitting about their perimeter, trying to warm and find myself in their ocherous glow.
Tags: jack kerouac, literature, on the road, quote Current Mood: thoughtful Current Music: "Life in Rain" - Remy Zero
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My oldest cat, Sebastian, died early last week. I'd called my mom on the way home from work the day it happened to see if she needed me to pick up anything while I was out, and she seemed off, so I asked her if everything was okay. She told me that our neighbors had found him earlier that morning and buried him in our front yard (their back yard) for us, then asked me if I was okay. I told her I was because he was an old cat and we both knew it was coming, and because as sappy as I sometimes am, I don't tend to feel emotional extremes. After hanging up, I visited my dad, and since I had my phone with me, made a brief update about him passing on both Facebook and Twitter. I didn't think much about him the next couple hours, but when I got home around 9:00, I went to his improvised grave and stood over it for a few minutes. It felt more real then, and I started to feel real sadness at his passing, but it wasn't until talking to some friends about it later that night that it really hit me that he was gone, and I shed a couple tears. Sebastian had been a part of our family for most of my life, and he was the only pet of ours to last that long. We got him out of the paper when I was still in elementary school, and he came to us already named after the crab in The Little Mermaid because he was an orange tabby, and Sebastian was a red crab. One of my earliest memories of him was watching television in the living room shortly after bringing him home, and him climbing onto my back to lick my head while I lay on my stomach facing the TV. He was always fairly affectionate for a cat, and would sleep with me most nights when I was younger. He was also an incredible mouser and left us treats at our doorstep for years. He was with us a good fifteen years or more, and it wasn't until the past couple that he started showing his age, and he got incredibly thin and really haggard really fast. He'd also stopped using the litter box around this time, and though we put up with it for a while, my mom and I finally expelled him from the house a month or so ago. Despite being an inside/outside cat, neither of us really liked making him stay outside, and were both concerned with the possibility of keeping him out of the house when winter came, but entropy caught up with him, and I'm thankful that's not something I had to decide. My mom currently has two glass and metal flowers on either side of his grave, but I'm going to go to a home decorating store sometime soon and see what they might have that might work as a headstone or marker. I might also burn a candle for him afterward. I've had literally dozens of pets over the years, and have never marked any of their gravesites – the house we used to live in had what amounted to a pet cemetery in the backyard, but you wouldn't know to look – but I feel compelled to commemorate him in some way. He was one of my best friends, and I am going to miss him. Tags: sebastian Current Mood: contemplative
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I replied to the two people from OKCupid last night, and have already received a reply back from the girl, which surprises me. My self-esteem's practically non-existent at the moment, and a new person showing interest in me, platonic or otherwise, is a little unnerving, but passing on the opportunity seems ridiculous so I'll respond again tonight, and see how things go. In the meantime, ( have a memeCollapse )Tags: agnosticism, australia, bonnaroo, book stores, firefly, meme, okcupid, road trips, sarah fimm, star trek, the south Current Mood: pensive
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I was bored all day today, and also feeling a little mopey, so I decided to drown my sorrows in music, both by listening to it and researching my tastes with the help of last.fm and its applications. The first site I went to was xochy.org, which breaks down the nationality statistics of the bands and artists you listen to, and the pie graph below represents my listening habits.  Being an English speaking American, this is unsurprising for the most part, though I'm a bit surprised that I listen to quite that much American music, and that I don't listen to more German music. Outside the Anglosphere, I really like the music of Central Europe, which is probably due to my burgeoning taste in industrial, progressive, and electro[nic] music. I don't actually know if there's more of those types of music coming out of Central Europe, but it's where I find most of the good stuff.
The numbers below are the total plays from each known country with over a hundred plays. I currently have a little over 56,000 plays on last.fm.
29678 United States
8850 United Kingdom 4540 Canada 1886 Australia 1817 Germany 1088 Belgium 960 Sweden 835 Netherlands 773 Russia 585 Italy 537 France 462 Ireland 369 Poland 364 Japan 357 New Zealand 304 Norway 277 Spain 209 Finland 172 Iceland 135 Denmark However, this site tells me that my musical mecca is Bermuda, which it says I have a 17% compatibility with. That does not necessarily mean I need to listen to Bermudian music because the people there probably listen to lots of music from other countries, but I'll have to listen to some more Heather Nova just to see if I've missed something. Next was last.fm milestones, ( and some other stuffCollapse )Tags: last.fm, stats Current Mood: geeky Current Music: "Bridge to Nowhere" - Sam Roberts
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Shawnna: I have decreed that Cheyenne will not be a Southern Baptist Robert: Jehovah's Witness, then? Amadei: Everyone knows that Chy's going to be Mormon. Robert: Or maybe a Scientologist Shawnna: Y'all are going to Hell. Catholic or Pagan are her only options. Robert: I'm an atheist, so I already have a reservation in Dis. Shawnna: She can be one of them, too! Robert: I occasionally flirt with deism during brief moments of insanity. Amadei: Amadeism? Robert: Well, that would be up to you, now wouldn't it? Amadei: I'm always up for having new worshippers. Robert: I'm an atheist, remember? Part of the reason for that is that I don't worship without tangible benefits. Amadei: There are tangible benefits to worshipping me. Sometimes you get books in the mail. Robert: I already receive books in the mail despite my godless ways. Amadei: The books will stop until moral improves. [ . . . ] Amadei: http://bit.ly/HtarR is what I just got to wear with that black dress Robert: Pretty. Picture of the dress? Amadei: Work blocks Victoria's Secret. Go to http://tinyurl.com/kmska5 for pics. Mine's in black. Robert: Convertible? Does that mean the top comes down? Amadei: Only if you're lucky. Robert: And that's why I'm an atheist. Amadei: Your chances of getting lucky would improve exponentially if you converted to Amadeism. Robert: What do I need to do to prove my piousness? Amadei: Worship, tithe, etc. Robert: Amāhu akbar Amadei: Good start. [ . . . ] Amadei: Amadeism: the belief that somehow, someway, there is an Amadei out there looking after you. [ . . . ] Amadei: You want me to send you Jennifer Government? Robert: Sure, but I'm still undecided on converting. [ . . . ] Robert: Damn it. My phone's broken, I think, and I'm not eligible for a new or discounted one (up to $30.00 off a more expensive one) until 08/03/09. I don't even use it much, but feel like I've lost a limb without having it with me. This is going to be a long two weeks. Amadei: At least...at least we have Twitter. Robert: I will need your number again. The battery not being recognized means I've lost all my contacts, too. Fucking phones. Amadei: I assume when you get your new phone, eh? Robert: Yeah. I'm getting a BlackBerry, so I might ask for full contact info. Will probably do an LJ entry and harass people to fill it out Amadei: My cell phone number's on my Facebook--provided you don't copy down the wrong number. Robert: Yeah, but I want a centralized page with all this information. Amadei: You're so needy. Robert: I don't need a lot of things. I can get by with nothing. Of all the blessings life can bring, I've always needed something, but I've got all I want when it comes to loving you. You're my only reason; you're my only truth. I need you. Amadei: I feel serenaded. Robert: That is the official song of Amadeism. As the founding disciple, I get to decide things like this. Amadei: So you've decided to officially convert, then? Robert: Sure. I don't see any drawbacks, and the potential benefits are worth it. Amāhu akbar. Amadei: Awesome. I shall prepare a Sermon on the Mount. --- So, the phone I was only wanting yesterday is now officially a need. I dropped my current phone in the parking lot last night, and the battery popped out. I put it back in but it wouldn't turn on, so then I tried charging it and it told me it doesn't recognize my battery. I was already planning on replacing it soon, anyway, so I tried upgrading last night and couldn't because 08/03/09 is when I'm next eligible for a free or discounted model. If I upgrade now, I have to pay full retail price, which is $500.00 for the phone I want, and I'm not buying a cheaper model just to hold me over, so I'm going to be without a phone for the next two weeks. I don't even use my phone much, but feel like I've lost a limb (okay, maybe a toe. One of the pinkies) without having it with me. Tags: amadei, amadeism, phone, transcript, twitter Current Mood: amadeist Current Music: "The Hazards of Love" by the Decemberists in my head
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An amazing sixteen minute rant by pro-wrestling legend Jim Cornette against Joey Styles, another pro-wrestling personality, though this has nothing to do with pro-wrestling. Styles is obviously just a stand-in for neo-conservatives and Republicans in general, and Cornette just tears into everyone. This is the last guy I ever expected to be a liberal or take up the progressive cause, but he makes a very passionate case, and it's nice to hear some fire in the voice of someone I agree with. Some nice tidbits: "The Republicans scream about the loss of all of these freedoms and liberties and constitutional rights after 8 years of an Administration that subverted and circumvented, outright ignored more of the Constitution than any other in history."
"But maybe Joey Styles likes the idea that his previous Administration responded to the worst attack on the US ever - worse than the bombing of Pearl Harbor for fuck's sake - by going to war with the wrong country, never getting close to catching and bombing the shit out of the guy that really did it and spending almost as much money to do that over the past 8 years as Obama wants to spend to save the whole fricking country's economy!"
"And what's more un-American than publicly hoping the President of the United States fails? That's like hoping the pilot of your airplane fails because you don't like his opinion on global warming. We're all in this together you fucking morons! You hope he fails? If he fails we're fucked! Jesus!" And my favorite: "The Republicans drove the country into a ditch, they're complaining about the cost of the tow truck." Tags: jim cornette, politics, youtube Current Music: Jim Cornette on YouTube Current Mood: impressed
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Today is the first day of Bonnaroo 2009, and instead of setting up my tent and campground, I'm stuck at work. As disappointed as I am, and as much as I've whined that I don't get to go this year, it really is for the best that I lay this one out because I don't have the money, and I'm severely out of shape. Four days in the Tennessee sun is hard on even the fit, and I've gone from 180 to 270 since 2007, so I think I might have died if I went this year. I still really want to, and have even indulged in a bit of masochism by looking at the schedule and planning my would-be itinerary: Thursday Delta Spirit 7:00 to 8:00 PM Portugal. The Man. 8:30 to 9:30 PM Friday St. Vincent 3:00 to 4:15 PM Yeah Yeah Yeahs 4:45 to 6:00 PM Ani DiFranco 6:30 to 8:00 PM Beastie Boys 8:30 to 10:00 PM Phish 11:00 to 2:00 AM Public Enemy 12:30 to 1:45 AM Paul Oakenfold 2:15 to 4:00 AM Friday Conflicts TV on the Radio 6:45 to 8:00 PM David Byrne 8:45 to 10:45 PM Saturday Rodrigo y Gabriela 3:30 to 5:00 PM Jenny Lewis 5:00 to 6:15 PM The Decemberists 7:00 to 8:30 PM Bruce Springsteen 9:00 to 12:30 AM Nine Inch Nails 1:00 to 3:00 AM Saturday Conflicts Yeasayer 1:00 to 1:45 AM MGMT 2:15 to 3:45 AM Sunday Cage the Elephant 12:15 to 1:15 PM Daily Show Stars 2:00 to 3:15 PM Merle Haggard 5:00 to 6:15 PM Neko Case 6:45 to 8:15 PM Phish 8:30 to 12:00 AM Sunday Conflicts Snoop Dogg 6:00 to 7:30 PM I'm exhausted even looking at that and also really pissy that I would have missed out on Yeasayer and TV on the Radio, but I would have never in a million years missed Nine Inch Nails, and missing Ani at a festival like this would be just as unthinkable. Tags: bonnaroo Current Mood: ambivalent
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Thank you for calling. My name is Robert. How may I help you? Hi, Robert. My name is Assface. That's A-S-S-F-A-C-E. Yes, Assface, we talked earlier today. How may I help you? I just faxed over an urgent "legal" fax, and I need you to give it to your colleague. It's super self-important and it must be answered before the end of the business day today. I'm sorry, Assface, but my colleague left for the day about five minutes ago, so that will not be possible. I'll be happy to make sure gets the fax when she comes in on Monday, though. Listen here, Robert, this is an URGENT AND SUPER SELF-IMPORTANT "LEGAL" FAX. You can't ignore it or I will call the police and have you thrown in jail! No, you listen, Assface, my colleague is not here, and I cannot interject myself into her cases. Your issue will have to wait until [hears click] Monday . . . Thank you for calling. I love my job for the wrong reasons. Tags: work Current Mood: amused
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( My Ten Main Personality TraitsCollapse )This is pretty accurate on the whole, and I only have two small quibbles. I think "original" is a pretty meaningless buzzword that too many people use for lack of any better descriptor, and though I live in my head, I don't think I really know myself all that well, so I'm not sure I agree with the description accompanying introspective. Eliza disagrees however, and says I seem to have a pretty good idea of what I am and where I'm coming from, so maybe I'm wrong and this is just my insecurities peeking through . . . like I know myself, but feel I should know even more. Who knows? In a tangentially related vein, the Gender Genie thinks I'm a chick. I tested five of my journal entries, and four of them came back female. The only one that came back male was only masculine by a few points, and it was an entry where I was discussing my beard. Bah. Tags: gender genie, personality traits, signal patterns Current Mood: calm Current Music: "Choking the Cherry" - Poe
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Your result for Reincarnation Placement Exam:
Borg Cube48% Intrigue, 83% Civilization, 43% Humanity, 52% Urbanization. 
Placing you was easy. According to your answers, you like things civilized, sophisticated, and uncomplicated by things like human nature and adventure.
We have just the thing: A Borg cube. Welcome to The Hive.
A haiku for you: We Are Without End Melding Your Distinctiveness Forever With Ours Hope you didn't want to be a romantic individual... but we couldn't let that happen, because your answers don't show enthusiasm for human nature and free will. Just settle down, and allow your consciousness to sink deeply into the hive mind. Resistance is futile. Take Reincarnation Placement Exam at HelloQuizzy
I took this test twice because there were a few questions I vacillated on (visiting another star, living arrangements, the length of work weeks, what culture I would feel most comfortable with, etc) but got the Borg both times. Being naturally hierarchical and liking compartmentalization, I'm definitely a fan of civilization, and I do prefer to live closer to cities because of the greater opportunities they afford, but I'm not sure where I'm losing so many percentage points on intrigue and humanity. Maybe because I didn't want to risk being mauled by a tiger for my True Love when there are thousands more where they came from, or that I'm just not keen on having sex with a gelatinous insectoid no matter how much it shares my enthusiasm for chick rock, genre fiction, and Asian American cuisine. Still, though, as a lapsed Trekkie, I'm somewhat pleased I was assimilated. Tags: borg, quiz, reincarnation placement exam Current Music: "Better Off Alone" - Little Birdy Current Mood: cold
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Robert: I'm trying to rock the Sam Beam look. Only my beard will never be as indie-tastic. Anne: If you let your tears drip into it, it will be. Anne: Chia Beard. Just add tears. Robert: I want to look like Jesus. Anne: Jesus the Mexican Boy. Anne: That's my favorite Iron and Wine song. Robert: Mine is Boy with a Coin. Anne: You could be "Jesus AND the Mexican Boy" if you hang out with Vince more. Tags: anne, conversations Current Mood: amused
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