lil_blondii_x3

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mood

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cheerful

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kim always made all her old entries in here private anyway, so it looked like i was only one here like a retard, but nah man.

lil_blondii_x3

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disappointed

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this morning i'm all depressed,
because i seriously look extra ugly today.

rite aid this afternoon :]
pills, coffee, vitamin water, gum.
help.

i could barely get my pants on,
but that was because they were just washed.
die stef, just die.

lil_blondii_x3

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annoyed

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Ew I ate dinner and went back up to 124. Then again I ate more than usual today - ugh starting tomorrow that's it. No breakfast, no sips of mocha shit in lunch, no little protien bars after school, no nothing but dinner - I'm sick of this taking so long. I have 5 days to lose 4 pounds if I want to get my birthday wish. Ugh I want to go puke more now.

Since we don't eat in lunch we should find somewhere to go or something to do. Oh wait, everyone's too strict - we can't go anywhere. Oh well there are tons of hot emos in lunch, I'll keep myself entertained.

What's a lippykin?

lil_blondii_x3

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bored

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http://photobucket.com/albums/b52/x__thinspiration/

I made it but I don't like it too much.

lil_blondii_x3

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mood

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hungry

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125 pounds! 125 pounds! I've never been this low before, and it's been my goal for the longest time! I want to be at least 120 by my birthday - that should be no problem if I keep being good. Once I get down to around 116 or 117 pounds I'm going to start eating a little more, and maintaining around 116 - 120. Unless I get all retarted and unsatisfied and try to get to 115 pounds, which I hope I don't - because I don't even need to.

Ugh. I hardly ever eat anymore, but to convince my parents that I ate breakfast & lunch I make plates with tons of crumbs and make them look all convincing and shit. Then I always purge at least half of my dinner. That's why I've been taking showers every day after dinner - it's hilarious that my parents don't suspect anything.

I was pressing the back of my legs today and trying to make them look fat, but I actually couldn't. Since when can't I make my legs look fat? I hate my legs, but they shrunk so much it's kind of freaking me out. I don't even need to suck in my stomach anymore, thank god - my arms are the fucking problem! They're too muscular ... I lost muscle in my legs, but not my god damn arms, and I hate my arms yo. I'm out - there's nothing to do with the electricians here so blah. They keep shutting the power on and off and I keep losing internet connection.

-Stef, the only loser who ever updates in here

lil_blondii_x3

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groggy

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I'm not eating anything but dinner today. I don't even want to eat - actually, I havent had the desire to eat since I started freaking out over whether I should cut my hair or not. Interesting. I had a few grapes this morning, but they tasted weird and I didn't want them. I had half of a diet cream soda. Might see Kimmy at Kohls - I need new bras because my boobs shrunk hah. I bought pants that were a size 7 but I found that even these are a little baggy. I need a size 5? What the fuck is this? I don't know, I'll try a size 5 at Kohls today I guess.

lil_blondii_x3

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happy

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Heh. 127 pounds.

I really don't understand it. I haven't been working out lately because I don't feel good, and I pigged out last night on coffee & grapes (not like grapes are fattening) and by the time I had woken up I had lost 2 pounds. Well it might be because I take 2 Green Tea pills a day - I didn't think they would actually work, but now I think they do ...
And it could also be because I stayed up until 3 in the morning because I got sick last night =/
Not fun, but it was worth it to see 127 on the scale. I actually gasped and fell off of it in shock.

I'm gonna be extra good today ♥
I wanted to be 125 by the beginning of the school year, but I might make it to 125 in time for the trip to Canada - ah wouldn't that be amazing?

Okay I'm going now. My stomach still hurts and I want some coffee!

lil_blondii_x3

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anxious

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I just had a few pieces of chocolate at the hotel and threw them up. In a public bathroom. Ew ... and ... ew chocolate is nasty to throw up. Wow I think when you puke in a public bathroom things are getting a little out of hand but oh well, I was happy afterward. My throat burns so bad. It burns every morning when I wake up. I have a cold because my resistance is low from lack of food. I don't care. I'd rather have a cold than be fat. I wanna go work out in the gym now.

PS - staying here with emo bro around is awesome =]

EDIT: today I had 354 calories (I'm not counting that candy) and I just burned 210. God I love gyms, why can't my fucking house have one? So that brings me to 144. Urgh fatty. I bet when I get home I'll have gained wait - and I'm SO scared of that.

lil_blondii_x3

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bitchy

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On fitday.com I set a goal to be 130 pounds by Thursday. I reached that goal today. I'm working out like crazy today so I can be in the 120's by tomorrow morning - even if it's only 129. 130 has been my goal for the longest time. I ate nothing today. I'm happy.










heh loser.

lil_blondii_x3

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tired

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Dammit I want to get down to 125. I'll be 130 by tomorrow morning - that's been my goal for the longest time! Argh now I want to be 120 ... I think I'll stop once I get there. Maybe. <3

lil_blondii_x3

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happy

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When I went to sleep at 1 AM I was 133 ... I didn't expect any change, but when I woke up I was 131 !! I've never been this weight before ... well, at least not for as long as I can remember!
On Fitday.com I made a goal for myself to be 130 by Thursday, and I started out with having to lose a pound a day, and somehow I've already lost 4 pounds in the past 2 days ... argh so unhealthy. Oh well, I'm not complaining. I was going to get a Red Bull today because it speeds up your metabolism, but I decided on water instead. Red Bull is 120 calories.
I'm also doing the August contest in _restriction and there are so many rules - gah they confuse me, sort of. Pshhhhhh oh well I'm freezing cold so I'm going now ... probably going to walk around my neighborhood. I would go to Rite Aid but I'm not sure if it's open.

♥

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bored

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i havent eaten a thing alll day! I'm not even hungry... I WIN!

lil_blondii_x3

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satisfied

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Fast started at 10 PM.
I was 135 pounds.
I woke up and was 134 pounds.
Now, at 14 hours into the fast, I'm 133 pounds.
My mom's trying to make me eat .. grr fuck her.

30, 30, 34 hours to go, I wanna be sedated!

lil_blondii_x3

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happy

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Who wants some thinspiration?
Even if you don't want it, you're getting it anyway.

( Slicing inches from my waist..Collapse )

Go here also, it brainwashes you: http://www.plagueangel.net/grotto/analog/id10.html

Go to www.fitday.com
I like it.

♥ We've been fasting for over 30 minutes. *hums I Wanna Be Sedated*
Only 47 and 1/2 hours to go ... I wanna be sedated!

jus_a_nobody

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mood

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satisfied

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well me and stef have decided to fast until monday, wish us luck.

wow, past two days alkl ive eaten is this:

• 3 granola bars
• 1yogurt
• 5 fucking poptarts(blew the entire fast thing)
• and then i had some chicken for dinner

well it has been 37 minutes into fasting, we have been doing well

lil_blondii_x3

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pissed off

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ME: pizza is fattening.
MOM: well you'd better keep your pizza down you hear me?
DAD: *dirty look* yeah, you hear stef?
DAD: I dont like that throwing up thing.
DAD: YOU HEAR ME?

Why can't they just leave me the fuck alone and stop mocking me about something that's so serious and means so much to me?

Today I ate: 1 slice of pizza.

The End.

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crappy

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If all the stores stopped selling gargantuan clothing then maybe the overweight people would start eating less and exercising more.

My mother and I were at a McDonald's when a small child noted out loud that I was a big fat woman. I had no problem with the child, but with the response of the adult, which was, "Yes, she is fat."

I'm not fat and I don't have an eating disorder, but when I'm in a dressing room trying on a pair of jeans, I hate my body. It's not that it looks horrible or unattractive, but there are bulges in all the wrong places and my stomach isn't exactly flat. I look at myself in the mirror, every flaw magnified by the harsh lights in the dressing room, and then I look at the large posters of the models plastered all over the store and I wonder, "Why can't I look like that?"

quoted from a comedian :
It's not like I haven't nailed a fat girl before. This is America and I'm a heavy drinker.

quoted from Mariah Carey:
Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean, I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff. (<wat a dumb ass)