Flashback Friday.. I stole a Chicken

I like when other people do Flashback Friday's on their blog, so I thought I'd give it a whirl. Plus it's a good way to get my old pictures scanned, eh??? So for my PREMIERE of "Flashback Friday" I will start with a doozie... I was thinking about this yesterday and laughing my butt off in the car.


..Once upon a time I stole a chicken. A REAL LIVE chicken. I was 20, crazy, and obviously above the law. :) My two super hot friends Funny and Shag we my partners in crime and for that I will always love them!!! We knew this guy with a chicken coop in his backyard, so after dinner one night we got all dressed in black with dark makeup and then blasted crazy kid rock music all the way to the street where the infamous chicken coop was. We parked our car about 5 houses down and snuck through peoples yards all until we got to this guys yard...we literally army crawled past open windows and sprinted down this hill to where the chicken coop was. We stood outside the coop for a good 10 minutes hiding in the bushes while we saw lights flipping on and off in the house. Not to mention, laughing hysterics because our silly idea had actually turned into reality and we were now hiding in someones back yard about to steal their livestock. One of my favorite parts of the night is when my friend, Funny, got really mad because we all (including her) couldn't stop laughing and get down to business. She was whisper yelling at us " Girls!!! We are in someones backyard, dressed in black!!! This is scary...GRAB THE CHICKEN!" So all the sudden my friend Shag goes full speed ahead into the coop...we hear an ERUPTION of bocking and clucking and then 2 seconds later she comes running out clutching this poor defenseless chicken and yells RUN!!!!! So we book it back to the car, set the chicken in the trunk, and put the peddle to the metal. We ended up just hanging out with the chicken for a while...then we surprised a bunch of our guy friends by throwing open the door to their apartment, while they were on the couch watching tv, and tossing the chicken into their living room. I have yet to see something that compares to the looks on their faces as they jumped up on the couches and started yelling... hahaha. I'm laughing so hard in real life right now!! haha. At the end of the night.... we took the chicken back home and I'm sure he had tons of stories to tell all his little chicken friends about his wild night out on the town... I haven't stolen...well more like borrowed...any fowl feathered friends since and I don't plan to ever come out of retirement :) (please notice my black O.J. simpson gloves grasping the chicken... mama din't raise no fool, okay???? I'm not about to leave my prints on that chicken!!)

Lady you just got Schooled...

So the other night I went to Target to get a precription filled. As I am waiting I go walk around the isles and I see a little girl sprinting circles around her mom's cart. I'm guessing that the girl was about 5ish and I giggled cause I had flashbacks of grocery shopping with my mom at that age and driving her nuts, and then cringed at the thought of grocery shopping with a child when they are that age. :) Anyways... so the little girl is sprinting around the cart and accidentally knocks two boxes of cereal off the shelf. So her mom, looking and sounding fabulously frazzled says, and I quote " Britney! You are pissin' me off. If you don't cut the crap, you are gonna be a sad little girl" I immediately averted my eyes, cause this lady was reeeeally mad. I walked by kind of fast just in time to hear sweet sweet little Britney say...again I QUOTE " Mom, I don't think think that's how Jesus would talk to me, do you??" um....WHAT? I basically broke into a sprint at that point just in time to turn the corner and die of laughter right in the middle of the store. WWJD ya'll!!!!

PSA#3 Parking Lot Maddness

Park inbetween the lines. Not on top of them.I know, I know, it gets confusing... but you should have one line to the left and one line to the right and ZERO lines under your car.

Promise.