Easter Weekend

I am finally posting some pictures from Easter. Although, I still haven't posted any pictures from Christmas. Maybe this year I will have to do a 2009/2010 post!

On Friday, April 2nd, we took the kids swimming. Our Year pass ended on April 11th, and we wanted to get in a few more times. Our kids love to swim, and it is so fun for me to see them enjoy it so much. Addy especially is like a fish out of water (that's how the saying goes, right?).
Here are some pictures of them, right before we went.

This one Spencer took of us, he did a good job for his first time.

On Saturday we headed up to Logan to spend the rest of the weekend with Clif's family. We listened to conference, had an egg hunt, and relaxed! Here are some pictures from our fun weekend.

The each got 1 toy, church bag, and lots of candy.

Playing with their new toys.

Dressing up for Easter Pictures. They really love each other!

Spencer's hair was so short... I miss it.

 

Getting ready to go on the hunt.

Papa and Grandma Lila helping Addy look for eggs.

Can't forget these two pals!

The Light at the End of the Tunnel

The last two weeks our family has gone through a lot of trials. Some were small, like Clif's alarm not going off, and some were much bigger, like his car not working twice within 2 weeks (it is currently still not working). When his car broke down on Monday, he used my car for the week. I thought that was such an inconvenience... one day we had no groceries, so I hate string cheese and pepperoni slices for lunch. Another day my friend was nice enough to drive us to the park in Salt Lake so we could get out with everyone. Then on Thursday I pushed the stroller, in the wind, to my friends house so Spencer and Addy could play. I was pretty tired walking there, but it was nothing like walking back, because I was going against the wind. I walked into the door, took my shoes off, and crashed. It took all I had in me to get the kids into bed for their naps. I thought I would fall asleep instantly, but for some reason I couldn't sleep. I was laying there when Clif walked into our room. I was so shocked, but happy to see him. I thought they let him off early for the weekend. It turns out that our world was about to be flipped upside down, they laid him off....

Of course there is a lot of emotions that go into hearing that news: shock, anger, sadness, stress, but especially worry. I wanted to make sure Clif was doing alright and let him know that it wasn't his fault. He works so hard for this family, and never takes much deserved time off. I am very proud of him. I try not to think about all the things that aren't going to happen. I was going to put the kids in swim lesson this summer. I know it is NOT a huge deal (eating is a much bigger worry), but I was so excited since they love to swim so much. I try not to think about the house we will may never live in, not only because it is our 2nd home we have tried to build, but because we pictured raising our family there. It is hard not to think that even if we rent later on, our rent would be the same as our mortgage was going to be. I already paid a deposit for Spencer's preschool, but there is another thing that might not happen. I know none of these are huge, but just sad things for me to think about. Right now it is much harder not to worry about how we are going to live.

His unemployment is either enough to pay rent or enough to eat, not both. His unemployment leaves no money for my medical bills which are up to about $500 right now. I have tried to call to put things on hold, but no one is willing to work with us. I actually was told by one billing place that I only owe 17.05 too, that if I don't pay it next month I will be sent to collections! I have always paid whatever we could on all our bills and am never late, it is very discouraging. I have also tried to get rid of cell phones, tv, anything, but no one is willing to do anything there either. We have no money for gas for me to go to my doctor visits, which we know are essential for these babies. Of course our savings is pretty much nothing from medical bills, and our house deposit. June was a 5 week pay period and I was going to put 1800 in savings to start are rebuild it back up, but that obviously can't happen now.... So what do we do?

We have faith. I was reading in the Ensign today that faith is not enough because even the devils believe...It requires work. I personally feel I have grown so much this year. There are so many areas that I have grown in, but there is still so much more I need to be doing. I don't believe this particular trial happened because we were doing something wrong, but I do believe we can turn to the Lord and learn to rely on him even more then we ever have before. " When we strive to keep the commandments of God, ...promising our best efforts to follow the Savior, we begin to grow in confidence that through the Atonement everything will be alright (Elder Wilford W. Andersen)." He ended with this, "He will never forget or abandon us, for He has engraven us upon His hands."

So while I may seem sad, or confused, or lost; I also feel peace, hope, and have faith that there is the light at the end of the tunnel. Clif and I both received blessings and it was comforting to know that He is mindful of us and that as we continue to rely on him, things will be even better than they were before. I believe it is true, it is just hard for me to see the bigger picture right now. I am just still too worried about feeding my family and paying our bills.

So if you are reading this, please pray for us. We are asking anyone that is willing to fast for us this upcoming Sunday, if you would like to join in, it would mean the world to us. We have some tough decisions we need to make, and we need all the help we can get.

Fun with Spencer

Here is Spencer on April 4th, showing some of the things he has been learning. He can write some letters now, none of the ones in his name though. He can trace all of the letters though and enjoys doing so. I need to be better at continuing to practice with him. Now, that Clif is home and can distract Addy, it will be a perfect time.

There is a hole!

Yesterday we had a lot of fun things happen. When I got home and checked my e-mail, I saw that our hole had finally been dug. We decided to drive out and see it. It may not be much yet, but it will be soon!

They are GIRLS!

Today was long, but full of more news and a little more worry.

The past few times I have gone in for ultrasounds, I had to wait about 15-30 minutes. So when I got there, I went to the bathroom and sat down to start drinking my drink. I had only taken one sip and they called me back. I started to panic because I knew my bladder would not be full, and Clif was with Addy (he had to take her car seat to his car) and had not returned yet. When I told her I just went to the bathroom, she told me it was okay and not to worry. It never seemed to be a problem, so now I am wondering why do you usually have to drink so much? Clif didn't show up until like 5 minutes into it and that was all I could concentrate on at first.

She did the measurements and quickly confirmed that they were both girls. I wasn't sure how to feel about this at first. I really had no intuition what they were so I wasn't disappointed or anything. I had wanted boys for Spencer, but was thinking they really probably were girls. I guess (I know it is silly) I was still wanting a boy and a girl. Oh well, I really thought, before I even got pregnant, we were going to have another boy. I assumed it would be this pregnancy, but since it is not, it looks like my feeling that there is 1 more is probably very real. (I just asked Clif if he had felt that there was one more as well, because once when I mentioned this may be it, he had looked sad, so I was curious what he would say. You know what he said, "1 more at least! Oh geez!) I am happy they are girls though.
So as soon as we knew, I had Clif leave with the kids, while the tech finished up measuring everything. Last ultrasound  was really quick, but from what I remember they were both very active and moving everywhere. On this ultrasound, Baby A was dominating the space and movement. She would even put her foot on top of her sister's head and rest it like her sister's head was her foot stool! Baby A was measuring 2 days ahead, which was the same as last time, and I never got Baby B's measurements, but I think it was like the exact same or a day behind. I thought everything looked fine, so I got really concerned when the radiologist came in to look at the twins. Turns out, he was just wanting to make sure Baby B had enough room. He was concerned that she didn't. I never did think to ask, I was overwhelmed a little, why it would matter if she had a little less room. He was less concerned because they had moved quite a bit since the tech had finished and Baby B wouldn't have been able to do that if she didn't have room. So with that concern "resolved" I went into the waiting room to wait for my appointment with Dr. Draper. It was now 3:30, half hour later than my original appointment.

Dr. Draper was very nice and spent much needed time going over concerns with my babies and other little things. He said the most common concern with twins sharing a placenta is Twin to Twin Transfusion Syndrome (TTTS. Which  is a disease of the placenta (or afterbirth) that affects identical twin pregnancies.


-TTTS affects identical twins (or higher multiple gestations) who share a common monochorionic placenta.

-The shared placenta contains abnormal blood vessels which connect the umbilical cord and circulations of the twins.

-The common placenta may also be shared unequally by the twins

-The events in pregnancy that lead to TTTS are all random.

-TTTS is not hereditary or genetic, nor caused by anything the parents did or did not do. (http://www.tttsfoundation.org/)

He told me it only happens 15% of the time and then told me options if it did, surgery in LA, and possible here in Salt Lake. Due to the higher concern I will be having ultrasound every 2 weeks, instead of every 4. I honestly was worrying more about what to do with my kids then I was about the TTTS. I don't want to stress about that like I did the membrane, we will take it every appointment at a time, and why worry myself over 15%.
 
That was basically all that happened. He suggested this pregnancy back brace and maybe some physical therapy because my hip is already going out when I walk a lot. He was very nice and very knowledgeable which is nice. The only concern I have is he only sees patients Wednesdays and I didn't get out of there until 5:30. That is a long time to ask someone to watch my kids. It will all work out though. I have a few people who have already volunteered and will just have to not worry about it. Until then, vote for the girl names you like best, and look forward to hearing more in 2 weeks!
 
P.S. My other two, wonderful kids are doing great and I will post about them soon!!
P.S.S. Spencer did cry about not having any brothers.
 

 

Baby B

Baby B

Baby A

Baby A

 

Fun with Markers

On April 7th, I was doing dishes, cleaning up the kitchen, and talking to my mom. My kids were coloring on their white boards right behind me. They were being good and just laughing away. I think I must have had my back turned to them a minute too long because they had a little too much fun. I turned around and this is what I saw:

*I believe it was Addy who did it first, and Spencer decided to try too, but my pregnancy has not allowed me to remember anything lately, so I forget! (The other day I forgot where I put my cell phone two times in like 5 minutes)!