Merry Christmas

LOOK at all this HAIR!!!!

Puppy Dog Eyes!!! Can't say no to him at ALL!!

Thanks Granny for braiding my hair!!!

ALL MINES!!!! Happy Holiday!

7 months

I still can't believe that I have a miracle. God has been a blessing to our family. Thanks Jesse for the comment. I have always wanted my story to help someone else. I finally realized that I was not alone. I found so many support groups....I was amazed of others going through the same thing.

Cameron is now 7 months old. He is spoiled rotten...but he is mines!!! What a miracle???

I always think of 7 as our signature number.

Cameron's Birthday is 04/03 (which adds up to 7)

I had 7 snowbabies...which Cameron was one of them (have 4 left)

My dad died after 7 days in the hospital (Cameron took his place)

By the 7th day, God completed his creation!!

Here is a few pictures of Cameron (6.5mths) He isn't crawling...but is showing signs of trying to walk. He loves to stand over boxes and move around them. I bet he is going to skip crawling and go straight to walking.



I will be back to post more.

**Believe and Receive**

Spoiled

This little booger is spoiled rotten. I always said that I wouldn't spoil my child. I thought I wasn't....but he is rotten. He doesn't like to play alone. I have to be within his view and he will play for about 10-15 minutes. *sigh*

He had a growth spurt and started back drinking milk. That only lasted a few days. He is gaining. He may reach 16lbs by his 6th month checkup. It's on October 4. We tried to take pictures yesterday at Wal-Ma.rt but that didn't go well. The lady kept saying that he isn't smiling. I had to tell her that he always look serious. When he smiles, he "dip" down so you have to take the picture really fast. He is so handsome. I just love this little man. I thank God for him every minute. He reminds us so much of my father. I wished Dad could just see him. He would be so proud. I will post more next week after his appointment. Overall he is doing well. Does anyone have any tips on activities? He gets bored really quick. We have to go from one toy to the next. Oh well, here is a 5 month old picture of him. I will post a 6 month picture next week.



He is laughing on this one....hahaha

It's been a while!

Sorry I haven't been keeping my blog up. I found out that someone from my past found my blog and has been reading it. I feel so violated. The one place that I had to share my thoughts, my pain, and my struggles with people that were going through the same thing has been taken from me. I thought about adding a password. I never wanted my story to be "hard" or unavailable to someone that was going through the same thing. Someone may need to read my story. So I have decided to keep it public. The sad thing is that I didn't even use my real name. I think this person paid money to find out everything about me and that is sad. "Stalker" You will not steal my "diary”. I will continue to post. I am not ashamed of what I had to go through to get my miracle. The part that really bothers me is that this person never said "sorry for your loss". How rude is that?!? Nope, they just read and read. This stalker found me on face.book, sent me a friend request and then mentioned my blog... (Not a friend on my list) I hope that since he is married he will move on!

Cameron, I'm sorry that I interrupted your blog to post this. I just hope one day you will still find joy in reading how you came into this world. I will start another post to talk about Cameron :)

Happy 4 months

Well that was yesterday. My little Cub had to get his other rounds of shots. It wasn't too bad on him. He wanted to sleep all day......and not eat. Didn't have a fever. So that was good. He was a little irritable. (April Babies) LOL

He is 24 inches long; his head is 16 inches (barely); and his weight is 14 pounds even. He is small. His weight is on the 50% curve.....slightly off... His head is kind of small...but not concerned about it. All this time, I thought he had a big head like me...LOL... He is short for his age. But it runs in the family. His grandfather (my father) was about 5'2" and his great grandmother is about 4'9" (maybe...she is short). I don't think he will be that short, though. I am about 5'3" and his dad is about 5'8"(I'm guessing)....so he will be short....plain and simple...

I think it is time for me to buy more toys....he is getting bored with the swing and bouncer. We have a playmate gym set....and little hand toys....but I think I am going to get that jumperoo.

They told me I could start giving him cereal and try baby food(one at a time) between now and 6 months. I really don't know what I am going to do. I'm thinking that on the days that he acts like he doesn't want milk....I will try the cereal...I dunno...I will think it over later. I have read pros and cons about it.

Oh, well...that's it for now.

Amazing

It amazes me that my hair is still coming out. My dermatologist said it was nothing more he could do for me. I am to continue to get my cortisone shot every two weeks. They did run my blood work. He said it was all normal.

He closed out my appointment by saying that it is just stress. I needed to relax and let Da'Bear help out with the baby. Stress and lack of sleep is the reason why my hair is coming out so much.

It amazes me that trying to conceive for almost 5 years didn't cause me to be sooooo stressed that my hair would fall out.

It amazes me that losing a baby and my right tube didn't cause me to be soooooo stressed that my hair would fall out.

It amazes me that my father's death didn't cause me to be soooooo stressed that my hair would fall out.

It amazes me that the $15,000 IVF that failed right when my father died didn't cause me to be so stressed that my hair would fall out.

It amazes me that a little 13.4lb baby boy...that is my miracle...my life.... is causing me to be so stressed that my hair is coming out....(Go figure)

I am not stressed per say with him. I have been worried about him. He was colicky. But I wasn't convince that was the problem. So after many phone calls and going back and forth to the doctor, he is now on Zantac for acid reflux. He seems to be better....and eating better. I give him gas drops at least 3 times a day. That seems to help out a whole lot. I thought I had PPD....but my OB thinks otherwise. I know that I don't sleep much...so maybe that is it. I love caring for my little boy. Am I tired? Yes! Any new mother would be. This is my dream to be a mother....this is what I worked so hard for. I just can't believe that once my struggles with infertility was over....my stress would wear me out....The dermatologist seems to think that I need 30 minutes a day (outside of work) to be to myself. I am too controlling when it comes to Cameron. I guess I need to ease up and let others help. This is going to be very hard.

Long time...

So…….

What has been going on with us???? I haven’t had time to keep up with my blog. I would log on from time to time to read some of my favorite blogs. I would also post bullets….in hopes of posting….but hardly got the opportunity to log back on.

So much has happened. Cameron is getting bigger daily. A few weeks ago, I took Cameron to the doctor because his “Johnny bug” looked a little swollen. At first the on call nurse told me to treat it like a yeast infection with some hydrocortisone. They called the next morning for me to take him to see the pediatrician. Well….he didn’t have an infection. He just has a big “Johnny bug”. So embarrassed… At that time (around 13 weeks) he weighed 12lbs 6 oz.

Then Cameron started having crying outbursts…..uncontrollable outbursts. We tried just about everything…swing, bouncer, music….then I let the water run. That worked. We went through that a few nights. His pediatrician prescribed him some gas drops….saying that he was colicky. Those drops had my baby so drugged. It has about 5 % alcohol in every dose that I gave him. They told me to give it to him 4 times a day for 30 days. No way….I stopped it after the first day.

Cameron had started showing signs of not wanting to eat. He would go for a long period of time without eating. He usually would eat 4oz every 3 hours or so. He started eating 4oz every 5-6-7 hours. That was freaking me out. I know that at some point he will stretch his feeding but will consume more....but this wasn't happening....it was the total opposite. So once again I called his doctor. I find myself calling them at least once a week. I have been saying all along that Cameron has acid reflux. Well…this last time…they gave him some medicine for it. It seems to be working. He is eating better. We were so shocked that he had gained weight… I thought for sure he was smaller. Well, in less than two weeks he gained almost a pound. He weighed at 15 weeks 13lbs 4oz.

He is trying to hold his very large Dr. Brow.ns bottles. He is trying to pull himself up without support. He is sitting up really good. He hates tummy time…but tries to scoot. He loves it when I stand him up….he thinks he is trying to walk…super cute.

He is a feisty little baby. He is going to be in time-out at 6 months…LOL

Sometimes he hates to be held. He thinks he is grown.

So that’s it for now. Oh forgot to post about my hair. I had to cut about 2.5 inches off. My hair has been coming out like crazy. I have bald spots. I have to curl my hair to cover it up. Every time I wash my hair…I get a new bald spot. I have been going to the dermatologist for a month. They finally listened to me the other week. I think my thyroid is messed up. It is normal for hair loss after pregnancy…but mines is severe. I will have my blood work results on the 26th. I am hoping that it will show something is wrong with my hormones…if not…I guess I will have to buy a wig. I am just glad that I have Cameron in my life…so if I got to lose hair….than so be it.


Here is a picture




I think he looks so much like me. Here are some pictures of me when I was a baby...and some pictures of Cameron.

Here is a picture of us…he was 3 months 1 day old. He was super tired after Church.

It is hard to get a picture of him smiling...so here is one.

So....

A very short post...

Cameron is doing well...he is sleeping longer at night now....I'm getting at least 4-5 hours of straight sleep...sometimes he surprises me with more. I can't believe my little Cub is almost three months old.

Now...on to me...

My hair is really coming out. Not shedding....coming out from the scalp. I think I may need to see a Dr about it. My hair is so thin now....I can see areas of bald spots :( I just cry every time I wash my hair. I am going to get it cut in layers next Saturday...so hopefully that will cover up my thin spots.

I will get online later to post more pics...and give more updates.

Oh...I will have to share my father's day gift to Da'bear. It turned out really great!! (don't want to post it now...cuz he might view my blog tonight)

Pictures

I hear water running...hmmmmmm....it's time for a bath....LOL

After my bath and a good cry(he hates lotion)

Two Months Old

Where does the time goes?

I have been missing in action for a while. I still read a few blogs here and there and comment if time permits.

I have been going through a lot of "issues" these last couple of weeks. I think I had a touch of PPD. I had a really hard time accepting the fact that I couldn't produce enough milk for Cameron. I did give it a good try. I worked with a lactation consultant for the few two weeks and I tried several types of herbs. I thought it was getting better...but then I had another episode of sore nipples... This time it was so bad that I had a piece of flesh hanging. I knew it was time to let it go.

Okay..enough of that. My little guy...and I mean little guy...is now weighing 10 pounds 12 ounces. He is 22 inches long. He is on the curve of 50th percentile. His pedi told me to not get caught up in that....so my little Cub is doing great. I will try to post a picture of him in a day or two. He did get all of his shots....and hasn't had a bad reaction so far.

Oh...once I stopped breast feeding, we found out that the formula wasn't agreeing with him. We have changed formulas two times. So I hope this one does the trick for him.

Monday, I go back to work. :( I am so not looking forward to that. I have been with Cameron for 9 weeks. My mom will keep him the rest of the year. We are planning on putting him in a daycare the first of January. We will see how that goes.

***Believe and Receive***

Mother's Day 2010

Here are some pics of Cam at 3 weeks old. (Professional photos)

One Month Old

Thank God for my Little Miracle. :)

HaHa....so out of it!

Look at my little Cub. He is so out of it. After drinking about 3oz of momma's liquid gold...he retired for the afternoon. He has his leg all over the sleep positioner. LOL

I call my breast milk liquid gold....cuz I have to work hard to get that many ounces....LOL

So Cute

So depressing!

My milk supply totally sucks. I know I should be pumping more....but it is hard for me to find time to do it. I try to pump every 2 hours in the daytime....but it is depressing to see that I only get 2 oz a day. I know that is better than nothing...and at least he is getting some breast milk. It is so discouraging to look down and see only drops. I am taking my herbal supplements...and trying to increase my water intake. I almost want to let it go. I keep telling myself...something is better than nothing.

This is a woe is me post.....

Two Weeks Old

Birth Story

This is my way over due....somewhat of a birth story....

We were scheduled to have a C-Section on April 6….but Cameron had other plans. We got up Saturday and went shopping. I didn’t feel bad at all. As a matter of fact, I had plenty of energy. We went shopping…got a few things from Baby R Us and headed home. A few hours later…I felt a gush…I thought my water had broken…but when I looked down I noticed that the gush was blood. So I told my husband it was time to go. We grabbed our camera and headed for the door. Thank God..all the other stuff was in the truck. We got to the ER within an hour. I thought for sure they would immediately take me to L&D…but nope. Even though I had pre-registered….had my OB instructions for the C-Section…we still had to wait. By that time I was getting annoyed. I wasn’t hurting….just annoyed. They finally wheeled us back. I had to see another OB because my OB was out of town. I told him that the hospital had our paperwork for our C-Section. This OB didn’t agree that we should have a c/s….so we had words for that. He kept trying to persuade us to have a vaginal delivery. Come to find out.... I had dilated to 3cm and was having contractions. I didn’t feel any of the contractions. I think it was more of back labor pains. So a few minutes passed, and this OB came back in and agreed to do the c/s. Well…come to find out…that was the best thing. I lost a lot of blood and needed two units. They later told me that my placenta had buried too deep into my uterus. So if I had had a vaginal delivery we would have ended up with an emergency c/s plus a hysterectomy. It was all very scary and overwhelming. But I have this beautiful little boy in my arms.

I am having a hard time breast feeding. It’s not as easy as I thought. I am not producing much and my nipples have been bleeding, My nipples look like raspberries....so now i am pumping....giving him that plus formula, He hasn't gained any weight so I have to focus on that and heal up. So far…my nipples are getting better but my supply is going down cuz I haven’t been able to pump like I should. I will start taking some blessed thistle and fenugreek….and pump more. Once my nipples heal, I will try go back to b/f.

But he is so perfect. I love my little man, I was beating myself up because of the milk problem. I really thought it was going to be easy to do. It is definitely harder than I thought. So instead of beating myself up...I have do what is best...and give him the formula. I really didn't want to...but my options are low. His weight gain is more important.