It's nearing the end of the year, and also nearing the end of my creativity. I've been RPing and NanoWriMo-ing and I need to kick start my creative juices so . . . a meme!

(Stolen from elleth)

( Without further ado. . .Collapse )

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It's been almost a month since my last update.

I would love to update and say that I've been writing furiously on my story for crossbigbang, but that wouldn't be the truth. I have tried, I mean, really really tried, but I'm stuck somewhere in Chapter Five and Six and don't quite know how to get myself going again. Not from lack of trying, simply from lack of interest or motivation. I read the story, and the characters are not singing to me the way they used to. The story is not keeping me awake at night, or talking to me in the shower, or creeping up on me when I'm driving in my car.

I am, however, writing. After a fashion. I've joined a new RP. It's a MUX (Please don't ask. I don't know why it's a MUX and not a MUSH or a MUD or a MOO. I'm just happy to figure out the interface - woefully slowly - and being doing some interactive type of RP.) It's not officially open yet, and when it is, it will probably be invitation or audition-only, so I'm not going to link the URL just yet. I'm getting additional writing outside of the MUX by posting blogs and "off-screen" scenes, which is where I've been flexing my writing muscle. I'll likely post those over on fantasy_echoes over the next few days.

In other news, The Big 4-0 came and went just as all birthdays do. I'm not the sort of person who's going to break into tears because I'm 40 and I haven't accomplished the goals I set for myself at 18 (or 25). I'm 40, I'm alive, I'm healthy, I'm employed and in this day and age all of that is saying a lot and should be appreciated. And I do appreciate it all.

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In addition to the story I'm working on for crossbigbang, I'm also mucking around with a multi-fandom zombie apocalypse (and post-apocalypse) story. Thus far, what I have of it is pretty free form, not much plot and is all in the beginnings. I'm introducing the characters, setting up the apocalypse, and letting the survival tactics and character interaction go wild.

The story has a general framework - namely survival after a zombie apocalypse - but that's about all.

I've been considering posting it as a sort of a "choose your own adventure" once I get a solid framework for it. I'm not so much thinking about having alternate paths already planned out, or multiple endings, but more like giving the reader a few options of what they want to see next in the story.

I was going to post a poll to find out if anyone would be interested in playing along if I did such a thing, but my account is free, so I can't post a poll. So, I'll just ask: would anyone be interested in helping me out with this fic experiment if I went that road? Any thoughts and suggestions are welcome.

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I'm still eyeballing scifibigbang. On one hand, I think that's putting a lot on my plate. However, on the other, I think it might just be what I need. I do have a second story in the works (although I would need to pull it together with an actual plot as opposed to just a setting and characters), but I think I could do that.

After diving in and working on "Rewritten" for the crossbigbang, I know that I can get the words out. (I forgot that getting the words out has never been my problem. My problem is in the finishing.) I'm using these challenges to force me to finish what I've started.

Now, writing two stories might be a problem, except that I suffer from writing ADD. Eventually, I'll have to take a break and back off of "Rewritten" for a day or so, and then I'll want to channel my energies elsewhere. Another story might be just thing to get me doing that.

Or it might not, if I get overwhelmed and can't meet the deadline.

I'm sitting the fence and don't know what to do. I have until the end of February to decide, so maybe I should wait and see how far along I am with "Rewritten"?

Le sigh.

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I've officially signed up for crossbigbang. That's 15,000 words by late May. I'm going to focus on my long-languishing and unfinished Stargate SG-1/Tomorrow People (New Series) crossover from years and years past. Seeing how I tabled the whole thing and restarted it from the very beginning, it's a good one to go with.

Unfortunately, this means I won't be able to post any additional parts of the story as I write them. The good news is that when the time comes to post in May or June, the story will be completed and presented for the reading pleasure of anyone who wants to see it.

I will post my word count on a weekly basis.

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My muses are truly awakening. I say this, even though I have not written a single word since my last report . . . but I do have scenes coming together in my head. The next step is getting them from my head to the figurative paper, and that is always harder said than done for me. It's like dieting and exercise. You have to get moving in that direction and once you've done it, it becomes easier and easier.

I stated before that I signed up for inkitout with a goal to write 75,000 words by the end of the year. Given that I can be prolific, that doesn't sound too hard, but remember my current word count?

After finally taking the time to find out what these big bang challenges are all about, I'm now considering signing up for one. I have two possibilities:

• crossbigbang, with 15,000 words and posting on June 3, or
• scifibigbang, with 25,000 words and posting on August 1.

( More ramblings hereCollapse )

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Granted, I am probably too tired to be updating my blog right now. To everyone reading, you have been warned.

I've started a new crossover story. It's a multi-fandom crossover zombie apocalypse/post-apocalypse story. I know that a lot of people don't like apocalypses or zombies, but what draws me to these types of tales (and movies and shows) is that when they're done well they're not about the zombies or whatever destroyed the world. What these tales are about are the survivors. The stories follow the plights, good and bad, of those left behind in a completely changed world.

That's the sort of thing I want to examine.

( Crossovers, apocalypses and zombies, oh my!Collapse )

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Or, the one where there is talk of writing and other fannish type things.

( First a reflection . . .Collapse )

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I know, I fell off the writing wagon again. I went into this with all the best of good intentions, but what's that saying about the road to hell?

Real Life reared its head again, and it wasn't a pretty head either.

I think I have to face facts that my life will be a roller coaster for quite some time to come. I haven't given up on writing, and I am still working on and tweaking "Rewritten" as well as another story, but I don't think I'm going to give a schedule for posting. I have to write as I can, edit as I'm able, and post when the posting is good.

( It's not easy. . .Collapse )

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Once upon a time there was a girl who loved writing. She wrote all sorts of things from poetry, to fake magazine interviews to fiction. She even wrote fan fiction in the days before the internet and everyone and their mother having access to a word processor and upload or cut-n-paste. This girl didn't care if what she wrote didn't have "main stream" appeal; she wrote because she enjoyed writing. It brought her joy and gave her pleasure. Always an imaginative child with her "head in the clouds," writing was a creative outlet for all that pent-up imaginative energy that was bursting to get free.

This girl grew into a woman who maintained her love for writing. No matter what, when or where, she could find something to write about. But slowly, over time something changed. She stopped writing for her, and starting writing what she thought other people wanted to read. Her stories stopped being about what she wanted to see and read and started focusing on the audience and the feedback. While she didn't prostitute herself and hold stories for ransom in exchange for reviews, she wanted them something fierce.

Her stories became geared toward the expectations of the audience. Someone didn't like something, she changed it. Someone wanted to see something, she changed.

Somewhere along the road between stepping back from fandom to have and raise a daughter, and dipping her toes into the writing pool this woman lost the writer inside. She lost herself.

After a hiatus and some time to simply play and dabble, I'm glad to see that this woman found herself again. I found what makes me happy. I rediscovered the simple joy that comes from writing and putting words to "paper." I started to feel like writing in fandom and delving into fan fiction was a waste of my time, energy and talent. Then I woke up and realized that it's not about what other people think or expect, it's about what I like. If I can lose myself in another person's sandbox, then so be it. There's no shame in that if I am enjoying what I'm doing.

The audience isn't important. That isn't to say that I don't want people to read my writing; why else would I share it? However, I am not going to focus on writing for everyone and their mother. I'm a niche writer and I've come to accept that. I don't need one hundred readers, or fifty or twenty-five. Just knowing that one person is going to see something I wrote and enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it is good enough for me.

I'm still evolving as a writer. I'm learning. I'm growing. I'm experimenting. I'm also not ashamed to go back to my roots and rediscover and explore those things and places (and worlds and fandoms) that bring the characters and the words flowing out of my head and onto the screen.

Yes, this is a very long way of saying that I'm writing again. Fan fiction. Original fiction. Odd drabbles and story starts that go nowhere and mean nothing. Short stories. Long novellas. Whatever I want and whatever comes to mind.

To that end, I've started a separate journal for my writing. It's fantasy_echoes. It's hosted on Dreamwidth. It's set up as a community journal, because it was easier than burning through an invite code. I believe you can follow/subscribe to the journal if you don't have a DW account. (But don't quote me on that.) My initial goal with fantasy_echoes is to start posting my writing again. I'll put something up on that journal twice a week.

(Oh yeah, and if you're not on DW and want an account, I have some invite codes!)

Let the creative juices flow . . .

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