Thankful

I was emailed by Autism speaks and invited to share what I am thankful for in regards to my autistic child. They are collecting stories from people who have been affected by the disorder. This is what I wrote. I have no idea if or when or where it will be on the site. If I am able to find it I'll let everyone know.

I am so thankful for my beautiful son Ethan and for the opportunity I have to be his mother. I'm thankful for the progress he's made and all that he's worked so hard to accomplish. I'm thankful for my husband who truly is as invested as I am in Ethan's success. I'm thankful that Ethan has an older sister Lorin with unending patience and a younger sister Brynn who adores him. I am thankful for many wonderful and patient teachers, therapists, doctors and school administrators who have bent over backwards to give my son everything he needs to succeed in life. I am especially thankful for a pediatrician who actually listened to my concerns and a special ed kindergarten teacher who loved Ethan unconditionally. I am so thankful for the friendships I've made with other mothers of autistic children and for the support it's given me. I'm thankful that God has given our family this opportunity to grow and learn and have experiences we might have missed out on if autism weren't a part of our lives. I am so thankful for all of the progress that has been made in Autism research and the mysteries that continue to be unfolded.

Also I have been considering starting an autism blog. Input please, good idea or not?

On other news, at Lorin's school every year around Thanksgiving they have the Turkey Trot. Each grade has a race to win what? A turkey. The PE teachers pick the best in each grade to participate. Lorin was chosen and she ran in the race and that girl brought home a turkey!!! SHE WON!!! Unfortunately I already bought a turkey because they are cheap this time of year and we will be spending thanksgiving with Steve and Arlene (this is not unfortunate, we are rather looking forward to it) so we won't even be cooking our own Thanksgiving turkey. Now we have a plethora of turkeys. I see lots of turkey sandwiches, turkey noodle soup, turkey casseroles, turkey empanadas, and any other turkey concoctions we can come up with in our future.

The turkey is so huge she has to use her leg to prop it up!

I just thought this was cute. Ethan set up the toys just how he wanted them and taped the paper to the door and had Gary write in bubble letters exactly what he wanted his "guys" to say.

Grades

I'm sorry but I am going to be one of those moms who brags. Feel free to skip this post if desired. I got my kids report cards today. Lorin got 5 A's and one B+ which is totally FANTASTIC!!!!!! Though not really a surprise. That's pretty much standard for her. She's smart and her teachers always love her. She works really hard and is kind to others. She is just a stellar kid.

I knew before I opened Ethans report card not to be surprised by low marks. He has had a tough year. He really struggles. I was SHOCKED by his marks. They were HIGH!!!! He got an A in math and the rest were high B's. He doesn't even have grades recorded for the first six weeks of school because he was struggling so much. Just the day before I was feeling like he just wasn't making any progress.

I'm in trouble now!!!

Anyone who has known me for any amount of time knows I LOVE to sew. It is pretty much my drug of choice and a coping mechanism. I need my sewing fix almost everyday. I also love to make and wear jewelry. The bigger the better. Well, another love of mine, like many other women, are shoes. I have often dreamed about making shoes but never thought it actually plausible. Then, today, I was reading the blog on my favorite sewing website and read an article about making your own shoes!!!!!! WHAT!?!?! I never knew anyone could just make shoes. The post mentions a woman who loved to sew and wanted to make shoes to match the clothes she made so she just took apart a pair of shoes she loved and figured out how to make her own. GENIUS!!!!! She got so good at it she started teaching classes and then she wrote a book. I am so getting that book for Christmas. The website is marywalesloomis.com and the book is aptly named "Make Your Own Shoes".

May the Force Be With You

For Halloween this year we were all Star Wars characters. I didn't have patterns for most of them so I just used patterns I already had and changed them slightly.

Brynn of course was princess Leia. I don't think she would have gone for it if she couldn't be a princess.

Here is Ethan reprising his role as Luke Skywalker (its actually Obi wan but he claims Luke.)

Lorin was Padme Amidalah. I had to piece her together out of different patterns and used a knit fabric which my machine kept eating.I think it turned out great though.


Gary was the infamous Emperor. Gary loved having a cloak. Who wouldn't.The cloak really is a versatile part of any man's wardrobe.

UH OH!!! The Emperor is using the powers of the dark side on Padme!!!!

I kind of ran out of good girl star wars characters so I just went as a Jedi.

They have no idea the danger that awaits. HA HA HA HA HAAAAAA

Every year on Halloween we have a creepy dinner.

This is swamp juice. MMMM yummy. I got some frogs eye pasta for the fish eggs. Cooked them and colored the with food coloring. Then added Swedish fish and a gummy worm. Then topped it all off with ginger ale.

And of course we had our mummy dogs and blood and guts soup.

We also had witch fingers, and eyeball and brain jello. My eyeball didn't cooperate so much, but the brain rocked. I made some for a Halloween party we were invited to and everyone was afraid to eat it. I was so proud.

Here is the awesome pumpkin we carved. I found the idea in family fun magazine. It was super quick and easy and looked hilarious.

We had a great Halloween. We hope all of you did too.

This is Ethan's joke

"Luke Skywalker was fighting Darth Vader and a light saber started playing a guitar"

Also whenever he gets anything in hes eyes he yells "spicey eyes"

"Brynn told me that someday she will grow big like mommy, like a big balloon!"

Today she said " I need to eat a lot of cookies so my tummy can grow big and I can be big like mommy."

The other day Lorin told me "You sure are busy for someone who never does anything."

Life has been super busy lately and believe it or not, not everything we do centers around autism, though some days it sure seems that way. We've actually been having lots of fun!! A few weeks ago there was a hot air balloon festival in town. It was so fun. In the first race, the balloons were supposed to land at a school just a block from our house so Gary, Brynn, and I walked down and saw all the balloons land. One of the balloons had to land in the street because he missed the school. He let Brynn go right up to the balloon and look inside. They were so nice.

The next day we went to the festival and got to see balloons inflate and take off, the kids got to go on a bunch of jump houses, and we saw some synchronized kites. That night all the balloons were in a circle and did a light display with their torches. It was really beautiful.

We got up early the next morning and raced back over to the festival to see the balloons take off. The sky was filled with them.
We've also gotten into geocaching. It is basically a game played all over the world. Using coordinates and a handheld GPS you look for hidden "treasure". You go online and there are lists of coordinates all over the world. Some times the cache is so small all there is in it is a tiny piece of paper to sign your name. When there is treasure it usually consists of little tiny random trinkets and for every one you take you need to put one in. We found things like, an army man, travel dental floss, a domino, etc. It is so much fun and it's free. My sister Shelly and her family have been doing it for years. It is so fun.

This one was found in the hollow of a random tree in the back corner of an industrial/business part of town. It was in a tiny container glued to a large piece of bark and tucked into the tree hollow. Lorin found it. She has such sharp eyes!!

Also the last few weeks the sister missionaries have been coming over to my house every Monday so I could help them sew skirts. We have a large Swahili population and the sisters have a lot of investigators among them. They bought some fabric from some investigators and we made skirts out of it. They did a great job, especially since neither of them had much experience sewing. I was totally impressed.

Also, I saw the pattern for these and I had to make them. I think they are hilarious!!! I really need to clean out that drawer!!

She's my favorite decoration. She is a most unfortunate witch!!
Also, on Saturday, as a way to avoid chores I helped the kids make these awesome shirts. They are tie-dyed and then drawn on with fabric markers. I got the idea out of Family Fun magazine. Also the skeleton in the background we made last year out of a bunch of milk jugs. He is super cute. We had a blast.

In other news, Ethan started at his new school. He's been doing a great job. He seems really happy there. I see great things in his future. He has to leave at 6:50 however, but I would wake up at anytime if it meant getting him help.

Also, Gary's parents Gerald and Charlene have been called on a mission to Brussels Belgium. They are leaving in January so we decided to spend this Christmas in California so we can see them one last time before they go. We have never traveled for Christmas before. We always have a light Christmas as far as presents go, that's just the way we roll, but this year since we will be traveling we are going to be extra light which I think is fantastic. We told the kids they could choose between a normal amount of Christmas presents or one toy and Disneyland. They all chose one toy and Disneyland, which frankly sounds way better to me too.

Also, I am happy to announce that I was awarded the Nobel prize in Physics!!! I didn't even do anything!!! I've never even taken a physics class before. Apparently the Nobel prize committee has changed the rules so you don't have to really do anything in order to be rewarded.

Weighted Vest

Soon after I finished the last post I made Ethan a weighted vest. They cost anywhere from

70-150$. It seems anything therapeutic, especially when a disability is involved, is so expensive. So I did a little online research and made my own. Here is my first attempt.

I started with a normal vest pattern and substituted a zipper for buttons.

Before I sewed the lining to the shell I sewed pockets with Velcro closures into the lining.

I made 8 pouches full of rice and made them so they are just small enough to fit into each pocket. I weighed each pouch so they are 4 oz each. The vest weighs 2 lbs. I used rice instead of poly pellets, which are basically small plastic washable beads, because poly pellets are expensive, and rice is practically free. This way I can just pull all the pouches out when I wash it.

The first time I put it on him a huge smile spread across his face and he wouldn't take it off for two days, even sleeping in it. It seems to be helping him immensely, especially when we are out in public. He wears it to school everyday. He loves it. We went to the fair and he was wearing his sunglasses, vest, and earplugs. He was happy and relaxed. Not anxiety ridden like he was at Disneyland.

With the success of this endeavor I decided to make two more.

Another one for school.

I made him this one for church. It has a Velcro closure but I sewed buttons on top. I don't really like how the weights pull at the fabric and make the vest pucker at the bottom, but I didn't want to use fabric that was too heavy for fear that Ethan would get too hot wearing it. I'll have to play around with it a little.

In addition to the weighted vest medication has been changed. Also we took everything out of his room except his bed. His dresser and books and some of his toys are all in his closet. We wanted to give him a quiet, calming place to relax. We are looking for a rocking chair to put in his room because he likes to rock in them when he's frustrated, or sad. His good days have far outnumbered his bad days lately. I totally claim that as a success.

Also he might be put in a special class for autistic kids since he is having such a hard time in a normal class. The great thing about the class is the curriculum is the same but the environment is very controlled. It is very quiet, the lights are low, and there are only 5 kids in the class. The teacher is trained to deal with kids like Ethan. In fact the teacher has a son who is autistic.

Also, we went to the open house at school and Mr. Blessing, the principle, came up to us (he knows us all too well) and told us he was praying for us. I really love that man. His name fits him because that is what he has been for us. He is a really Christ like man and he shows it in how he cares for and serves his students and his community.

Boo

Ethan had another bad day but, I don't feel so down. Nuerologist has been called, and I will be making Ethan a weighted vest and blanket. I ain't going to wait for the school to order one. And when they finallly do he'll have two.

Update

Ethan had a great day!!!!!! I know it is a result of all the prayer, love, and good thoughts coming our way by all you wonderful people out there. Thank you so much for all of your kind words and support. I love you all. I think his great day today will give me fuel. This makes me so happy. When he got home he got to put a sticker on a behavior chart and a happy face on a calendar. All the kids got Popsicles. They get one every time they have a good day. We can't just reward Ethan for having a good day and not the others so Lorin and Brynn pretty much get one every afternoon. I don't care if it is bribery if it results in having a good day at school so be it. An aid who had a lot of experience with autistic kid came in to help out today. It totally helped. the teacher also didn't make him go to music class, which for most kids would be fun, but for Ethan, a room full of noisy kids singing and piano playing is not a good time. Also, some of the time the teacher taught she let him lay in between two bean bag chairs instead of having to sit on the rug. He loved it and still totally got everything. We'll see how tomorrow goes. Even if it's bad I can always remember today and know that things will get better.

Yesterday Ethan was sent home from school again. This is a pretty common occurrence around here. As I was standing there in the principles office and Ethan tried explaining to the principle and I why he acted out I made the realization that even though Ethan can hear and speak and see he can't communicate. Whenever I would ask him why he got angry, or why he tried to run away (his new thing, which is completely frightening) or why he tried to hurt his teacher he would respond that his heart stops working after long school. When I explained to him that if his heart stopped working he would be dead he said when he gets angry his heart slows down. He also said that his brain doesn't work when he goes to school and makes him angry. Then he said "there's something wrong with my brain." He's starting to realize he's different. It was then that I realized how much of a problem he really has. It was then that I realized I really have no idea what is going on inside of his brain and he has no way to express it to me. That is so completely heart breaking for me. He tries and tries and tries to communicate but I have no idea what he's trying to say. I don't know why school makes him so upset. I don't know why he gets so angry and frustrated. I just want to help him but I don't know how. I have no point of reference. I can't identify because I have no idea how his little brain works and he just can't express it to me in ways I understand.

I don''t think I've ever known such sadness. I didn't know it was possible.

New Calling

So since I've lived here in Abilene I've been teaching Sunbeams and I've loved it. I've taught it a few other times and have always loved it but this time was different. When I was called I felt so strongly through the spirit that the Lord had me there for a very specific purpose. That reason was a wonderful little boy named Brian, whom I love and when I first met him I knew I was supposed to be his teacher. I've never had an experience like that before. I loved all my sunbeams but the Lord wanted me there particularly for Brian. As a result I have become close friends with his mom which I feel very thankful for. Well recently they moved and I knew that because they had moved the Lord had other places for me. Today I was set apart as the first counselor in the stake young women presidency!!!!! I'm totally excited and shocked. I felt change was coming but I had no idea it was this. It will be a challenge because the church is small in this part of Texas. Our stake covers 2500 square miles. There are five wards and six branches in our stake. In some branches there is only one young woman so stake youth programs are the only way these girls can meet other members there age. I really have no idea what I'm doing but I think it will be great, busy and great.

I thought it was interesting that I would be called this week because this week has been quite depressing and discouraging. Ethan really struggled with school all week and had to be sent home one day for biting his aid. Sometimes I just don't feel like I see a change and I get so discouraged. I'm feeling desperation settle in. I was talking to his special ed teacher from last year (whom we've kind of become good friends with and who very much still plays a big part in Ethan's education) and I told her I just want Ethan to have a good day at school. She promised me that the good days would come, it will just take time. This is the mantra I keep telling myself to keep me positive, though sometimes it's hard:

The Lord knows what He's doing
The Lord loves you
The Lord loves your family
The Lord loves Ethan more than you love Ethan
Ethan has overcome a lot
Ethan has a great desire to be obedient
Ethan is doing his best
There are a lot of people who love him and who are helping him
The most important things in life take a lot of time and hard work
Ethan was born this way for a reason and we will be and are being blessed for it
I am strong enough
I can do this

Long Time Over Due

I can't believe I've waited this long to post anything. My life just feels so crazy right now. The kids are back in school. Kids going back to school churns up an assortment of emotions. When it comes to Lorin it is so easy. She loves school, she loves to learn, she is the teacher's favorite year after year, she gets straight A's, and comes straight home and does her homework usually with very little help. For me sending Lorin to school is a happy, fun exciting thing. With Ethan it is so much more stressful. I know he will struggle, I know he will give his teachers a run for their money, just being there is difficult for him. Luckily for him he's got an endearing personality that seems to win over the teachers and aids that work with him. He's struggled since going back to school but his teacher is wonderful and really wants him to be there and wants him to succeed. I'm totally impressed with her already. I also find that I am very particular about what Ethan wears to school. I think it is because I know that he will be picked on and laughed at and I don't want to add to it by dressing him poorly. I know it sounds silly but it totally influences my back to school shopping. Everything is still on sale (this is me we're talking about) but I think I tend to buy nicer than I normally would.

On another note, my parents, my sister Shelly, and her hubby Dennis are all in France!!!! SO JEALOUS. I don't think I'm a jealous person. I love it when dear ones have successes and wonderful experiences. But in this instance I am totally Jealous. They will be going to the Louvre, THE LOUVRE. Sigh.... I want to go there so bad. I guess I will have to settle for my trip to the Sanford museum last month. Not quite the same but we loved it none the less. I am not ashamed of my jealousy and will embrace it until they return and I force them to go into length about every aspect of the trip, especially the Louvre.

Visiting!!!

There has been a lot of visiting going on around here. First I visited California, then Gerald and Charlene, Gary's parents, visited us, then we as a family visited relatives in southern Colorado. It all happened in the last month. Busy busy!!

As you all know my visit to California was sublime. I had a great time. Then, only a couple of days after getting home Gary's parent s paid us a visit. It was so nice to have them here with us. The kids love seeing them so much. We took them to all of the Abilene Hot spots. We had a great time at the Zoo feeding the animals, giraffes, bears, fish, and even bison.

Gary's parents treated us to dinner at the Bonsai hibachi grill. Totally delicious and entertaining. We got Gerald to try Sushi and he didn't spit it out or start gagging. Hooray!! We also visited the Grace Museum, which includes a children's museum that is a blast. We also went to a drive-in and watched Harry Potter. Loved the movie and the company. The drive in is fantastic because your kids can be loud and run around and it doesn't bother anyone. We also went bowling. Notice who got the highest score - Brynn!!!

What can I say she's a natural.For some reason I took hardly any pictures. I think I was just plain busy and didn't even think about it. (I would really appreciate if you could please email me some pictures when you have the chance Charlene, please?) Also our dishwasher broke just in time for entertaining guest, Charlene was kind enough to help with dishes the entire time they were here. Thank you, Thank you. We really loved seeing you and wish we could see you more often. We sure love you guys and can't wait to see you again. Good luck on your missions!!!

Just a couple of days after they left we headed to Sanford Colorado for a family reunion. I met my Uncle Jack and Aunt Sherry, and family for the first time and they are wonderful. Let me just say that I think it is ridiculous that I am meeting my Aunt and Uncle for the first time at 31!!!! I seriously need to make up for lost time and plan on visiting Sanford many times in the future. We did a lot of really fun things.

We watched the Pioneer day parade. Did I fail to mention that Sanford is a small Mormon town and Pioneer day is HUGE. The parade was fantastic. This is just some of us watching the parade. In all I think there were 38 of us. There was a tent city in the front of my Aunt and Uncle's house. Within an hour of putting up our tent the whole town knew and were asking questions about it. All the kids in town decorated their bikes and rode them in the parade.
This little boy traveled the entire length of the parade route on his pogo stick! Awesome!!!
This was one of the many beautiful floats. This one represented the pioneers. It was especially dear to me because the handcart on the float is the one my ancestor Charles W. Pinkert pulled from Nauvoo to Salt Lake and from there to Sanford Colorado!!! The man who ran the town museum was nice enough to drop it by our aunt and uncles house so that we could see it up close. It really was a treasure.

We also got to see the cabin that my Great Grandmother stayed in while she was the superintendent of Sanford school. My dad has memories of staying there as a kid when he went to visit her.
The kids had so much fun rolling around in the grass and acting silly.

There's mom and dad inside the cabin.The same kind man who brought the handcart over so we could look at it also opened up the cabin so we could walk inside.
We got this view because the The man who ran the museum led us into the belly of the museum through some steep narrow stairs that led to a look out tower on top of the museum. The government payed to put a tower on top of what was then the fire station during world war II and payed people to take shifts looking out for planes! Who knew.

Here is a view of the inside of the museum. We loved it. The same man who ran it was the town mechanic and just felt compelled to preserve the history of the town. He spent a lot of time and effort on it. It is a jewel. I learned so much about my ancestors just by walking through it.

Aside from all the genealogy we had a lot of fun.
In this picture Gary is playing a very captivating Plants vs. Zombies! It is the new addiction in the Bradshaw home, myself included!

Here we are all playing a super fun bean bag game that is a tradition in the other Signs family. I was horrible. I really need to practice for next time we visit.

Here's Gary leading a game of Cranes and Crows. Everyone loved it.

Brynn and Luke rolling around in the grass. Last time they saw each other they didn't really know what to make of each other but this time they were good pals.

There was a huge pine tree next to the church that is the town climbing tree. I was so proud of Lorin because she was right up there with all her boy cousins. She got as high as they did. She is fearless!

Not to be out done by a bunch of kids my cousin David (who is a grown man and in the bishopric in his ward) had to climb the tree!!! That's him in the blue shirt and cacky shorts. He got as high as the kids did. We are all just thrilled that he found his way out of that tree.

We also went to the Sanford store and got ourselves a hamburger. It was about the size of a convenience store and on one side there was a small kitchen where the owner made hamburgers. You could buy some chips and order a burger. We had to have the authentic Sanford dining experience. The burgers were great.

One of the neatest things about our trip was Blake. He is the little boy standing right next to Ethan. This is going to sound like a joke but he is my cousin's wife's sister's son. You may need a pen and paper to figure it out. My cousin's Wife Jenny has a sister and Brother-in-law who live very close. Blake and Ethan had a lot in common and spent time together everyday. Ethan often refers to him as cousin Blake. It's not often when Ethan makes those kinds of connections with other kids. It always warms a mothers heart when her children find good friends. I know the Lord's hand was in it. Blake's parents Kelli and Brad are fantastic and I am so excited to have made new friends too!
All in all - Fantastic two weeks!!