Early Christmas Present!!

I am an art lover!  I have to admit that, though I don't care much about celebrities, I do a fair amount of hero worship when it comes to my favorite artists.  I love a lot of artists, but I have a short list of my absolute favorites including the painter Van Gogh, the Sculptor Brancusi, The painter Georgia Okeeffe, and the painter Walter Rane.  I love Walter Rane's work.  I'm a HUGE fan!

 This painting actually has profound meaning to me personally and is my favorite! When Ethan was first diagnosed I had one of those "Why God...?" moments.  The answer was John 9:1-3.  Jesus and his disciples came across a man blind from his birth.  His disciples ask why, was it the fault of him or his parents.  His response is that the man is born blind so that the works of God may be made manifest in him.  Even though I always loved that painting, since then it has taken on even more significance.

  A couple months ago a young missionary named Elder Rane was transferred into our ward.  Yes he is Walter Rane's son, which, of course, is the first question I asked him!  Our family became quite close to him and Elder Perkins!

They are awesome missionaries!  They taught some good friends of ours the gospel.  Unfortunately they got transferred after only 6 weeks.  Before they left Elder Rane gave me these!!!

 Autographed Walter Rane prints!  I acted very cool but I was thinking EEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKK!!  I said thank you and shook his hand but I really wanted to jump up and down like people do on The Price Is Right when they win the car or the all-expenses paid vacation.  Yes I am that much of a nerd.  I'm trying to figure out what to do with all this beauty.  Should I combine the prints I already had and create a huge Walter Rane wall, or would that be akin to having a Walter Rane shrine?  I'm not sure what the lesson is in all of this.  Maybe it was just a happy coincidence.  I remember once being told by a temple sealer that there are no coincidences in the temple.  Maybe it's the same for the mission field?  Either way we got to know some really great young missionaries, we got to help the missionary effort, and I got some beautiful artwork!  Merry Christmas to me!

Gratitude

 Even though November is traditionally a month filled with Thankful hearts and gratitude, for me this year it has basically been one long pity party!  This has been a LONG 2 and a half years, I'm not gonna lie, but for most of it I've tried really hard to be positive, faithful, and patient (I've tried, not necessarily succeeded).  It seems this last month I've just become exhausted and have given in to all those feeling.  Those "I just want to get on with my life already and not have to deal with school any more" feelings and "how are we ever going to dig ourselves out from under all this debt"  and "this had better be worth it" feelings.  Along with the "autism just plain sucks" and "I'm going to have to deal with autism forever" feelings, and the "this would be a million times easier if I had family around" feelings, not to mention the general irritation that has been plaguing me (actually, it has been plaguing my family more than anyone else, I'm quite fine with my irritation).   I'm not sure what caused the change in attitude.  Maybe it's like we've been running a marathon and we're almost there and I'm at that point where I just want to stop.   In an attempt to climb out of this pit I've been in all month I'm going to try to make a list of my blessings.  It is in no particular order, just what pops into my head.It wont be complete by any means.  I know I have blessings I don't even know about or don't even think about (like the fact that I even exist).  I'll do the best I can, so here it goes!

Gary - pretty much the greatest guy I know.  He LOVES me and completely supports everything I do.  He has unending patience with me.  He loves me for who I am.  he knows I'm a free spirit and I do pretty much whatever I feel like and he's cool with it!  He is extremely intelligent, but doesn't realize it, which I find adorable.  He is very very very funny.  He's fun to be around.  He loves our kids.  He knows how they think and comes up with the best games!  He is kind.  He works very hard and he plays very hard. He's handsome.  He's tall.  I never dated a tall guy until I dated Gary, and let me tell you, having someone who can reach all those tall places is extremely convenient! He's faithful and sensitive! He always knows what to say.   He's just great!

Lorin - She's the 10 year old girl version of Captain awesome.  Pretty much succeeds at everything she tries.  Some of it is talent she's born with it and some of it is determination, will power, and confidence.  I admire her.  She is strong physically, mentally, and spiritually.  She is incredibly kind.  She takes the mantle of oldest child seriously.  She knows she has more responsibilities than other kids her age and she thrives!  She's beautiful.  She's funny.  She's already quicker, and smarter than I am.  She is kind and accepting of others.  She loves her family.  She a fantastic artist.  She has the perfect nose.  She is so kind and patient with her siblings.  She is tender hearted and nurturing.  She's turning into a young woman and I get glimpses of the woman she will be someday.  I can't wait to see what she does with her life!

Brynn - Princess.  She reminds me how fun it is to be a princess and that all girls are princesses. She reminds me how awesome it is to be a woman.  She who loves all things girl.  Brynn who never walks, only dances.  Brynn who spends most of the day in song.  Brynn who doesn't understand why anyone would wear pants when a dress or a skirt is an option.  She only loves unicorns, rainbows, and puppies, not ninja turtles!  She has pink hair and pink skin.  She still looks like a cartoon.  She's squishy like a marshmallow.  She aspires to be a traveling princess.  She's magical.  As much of a princess she is she doesn't put up with any one's garbage.  She's a tough princess!  She's strong and willful.  She's a fighter and can hold her own.  She starts and wins most of the fights in our house.  She is never intimidated.

Ethan -  He's honest.  I don't think he has the ability to lie.  Never have I seen a child at such a young age make such a conscience, deliberate effort to change.  I didn't know children were capable of that.  In his 7 years of existence I think he has made more changes and overcome more obstacles than most people do in their entire life.  He impresses me.  He's miraculous.  He's different, not just because he's autistic, but he's strong and determined.  He's affectionate,  which I don't take for granted.  He loves to sit on my lap.  He's very tall and has very long legs so when he climbs up on my lap and snuggles with me he reminds me of one of those large dogs that thinks he's a lap dog and tries to sit on your lap.  He smiles a lot, with his whole face!  He's authentic.  He's kind.  He LOVES babies.  He loves his sisters.  He's formed close bonds with his family, which is sometimes hard for people with autism.

Fantastic special ed teachers and a school district that is willing to listen- I don't know that I really need to give much of an explanation.  Only that they have completely transformed Ethan's life!

Sewing - That in this time of scarcity I've had the ability to dress myself and my family well at very little cost.  That I have a good stash of fabric and tools.  That I decided to take that class a million years ago so that I could have enough units to transfer and ended up loving it!

Creativity  - I'm so glad I'm creative.  I love creating things.  It is a need and helps me cope with life.  I need to be creative everyday or I might go crazy.

Sunshine - 'nuff said!

Warm weather

beaches

mountains

Really awesome parents - I always felt loved.  I always felt important.  I always felt supported.  They were and are such good examples to me of what a person should be.  I could write volumes how they've blessed my life.  So kind, so patient, so funny.  So honest.  So faithful.  Amazing work ethic I wish I had.  I have many friends who weren't born with such awesome parents. Wow, I am blessed.  I had a wonderful childhood!

Really awesome siblings - They too are an example to me of how a person should be.  I love all of them.  I get along with ALL of them.  They are all very unique.  They are incredible human beings.  Resourceful, funny, intelligent, faithful, talented, courageous, compassionate people.  I'm honored that they are my siblings.  I'm blessed that I was born into a family with really cool people.

Really awesome in-laws.  That's right, my family is a triple threat!  Few have it.  I do!!  My family is all round awesome. I could literally write volumes about my in-laws, A, because they are amazing, and B, because there are a lot of them!  For lack of space I will just say that I love them.

Air conditioning

Clorox Wipes- yes it made the list. If you had kids you would understand.

Art - I just LOVE art.  It stirs feelings in side of me.  It makes me feel alive.  I can't really put into words how art can make me feel.

The gospel - everything good in my life comes from it.  Everything.  That is no exaggeration.  With out it I would have none of these other things.  None of them.  The fact that not only do I have it now, but that I've always had it and have never had to search for it.  I've always known the peace that comes with having it in my life.  That I have access to such power and such beauty is incomprehensible.

Jesus Christ - I don't think I need to explain this one either.  Savior of the world!  How can I even express my gratitude for that!

Electricity

Food - I love food - eating it and cooking it.  It's pretty fantastic!

Garage sales

Tampons - ladies, you know what I'm talking about!

Technology - All technology, including medical.  I'm soooo glad I'm not a pioneer.  I wouldn't want to live in any other time.  If I had a time machine I would probably just go back to last night so I could get a little more sleep!  

The future - I know I complain about now a lot, but our future is really awesome!

Education - I am sooooo thankful that I got an education.  That Gary is still getting an education (degree #3).  That I got to do something that most people in the world never do.  That it can never be taken from me.  It's the only thing you can buy in this life and actually take with you when you die!  

Automatic dishwashers - I really hate doing dishes.

Heaters

Microwaves

Really great friends - especially when you don't have family near by. They become really awesome stand ins!

Gardens

Camping/hiking

really great bargains

chocolate

Prayer and modern day revelation- I'd be a lost sheep without it.

My cats - they are very soft and in the winter get very cuddly.

Waste management - I love throwing stuff away!

Humor

Shoes

Health - I'm really really grateful for my health.  I have a very healthy body!!! I think healthier now than when I was in my twenties or even a teenager!

Exercise - I love those endorphins released after a great workout!!!

Music - I don't think above would be possible with out it!!

Getting dirty and working hard

Temples - Heaven on earth, literally!

These are all I can think of for now, though my blessings are pretty much endless!
Wow, I feel better already.  I better go, princess Brynn is getting restless!
 

what I did this summer part 1

We've had one heck of a summer!! Between track meets, summer school, birthdays, youth conference, girls camp, and a trip with my sis and her family life was pretty much crazy!  It all started in May when my parents came to visit! The thing is there isn't much to do here in good old Abilene. We went to the zoo and out to eat with our friends the Comptons. My parents took a tour of Gary's school and went with us to Lorin's end of the year awards assembly. At her school they have a a program where students read books and take tests on them and then get so many points for length of book read and how well they did on the test. Lorin had the second highest score in the entire school!! But really, my parents spent most of their time buying us a picnic table and painting it!!! We really loved having them!

After my parents left the kids had an opportunity to participate in an Autism Awareness fashion show! The kids had so much fun!! We went to Dillard's a few weeks before and the kids got to pick out what ever they wanted with some guidelines of course (no swim suits!)The kids loved it! When we got there that morning they had us dress them and do their hair and they had someone there doing just a teeny bit of makeup for the girls. I knew Brynn would love strutting her stuff, but Ethan was the biggest ham!! He wouldn't get off the stage! Afterwards the kids got cookies! It was a lot of fun!

                                  

                                           

We also just missed a really beautiful wedding!!!  It was the wedding of our friends Chrissie and Ryan Petrie. It was about four hours away.  Halfway there we blew a tire!  We went to put on the spare and realized it wasn't there!  I guess when we fixed a flat before our friends at Pepboys failed to put it back on the car!  We were 20 miles from the nearest town!  It was a weekend so all the tow companies were closed.  We did not have AAA (now we do!) and some how in the ordeal I got peed on by one of my children!   We finally got a hold of a guy who came out and replaced the tire on the spot to the tune of 400$!!  So when we finally got there we walked in and we were at a quinceanera!  We were at the wrong place!  The wedding was on the other side of the park!  We missed the wedding but made it to the reception.  It was so beautiful!  It took place in a reception hall that looked like a barn.  The decorations were simple and elegant.  It was very classy without being stuffy and there was lots of dancing!!.  

Chrissie was kind enough to dance with Brynn over and over and over again!!  Brynn was diggin'  her fancy dress and thought Chrissie was pretty much the best!

We also had closing ceremonies and awards for Ethan's little league team!!  He got a Special Olympics medal. He loves it and would wear it to bed and to the store and to church!!!  He had to show it to everyone!  

I got to go to girl's camp this year!!!!  My job at church is to help plan and participate in activities in a region of west Texas for 12-17 year old girls!!!  Every summer girls camp is held and I got to go up as a leader!  Every year I went when I was a teenager and had a blast!  Nobody told me how much fun I would have going as an adult!!  I think I spent a lot of time swimming (it's a lot more fun when you don't have kids hanging around your neck wanting you to be a shark or crying because water got up their nose!

This is a silly skit some of us leaders did!

Our camp nurse was also an excellent braider!!  She spent most of her time braiding hair!

Some of the clan from our congregation!  I love these people!

Last but not least my Lorin turned 10!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What!  That can't be right!!!  We had a Luau complete with luau games, a hula dancer cake, and spam sushi!!  Many of her friends were there to share it with us!  Unfortunately our camera was no where to be found to we had to use a disposable film camera!!  Who knows when I will get that developed!  

I do however have footage of her blowing out her cake when we had a family party!

There is more to come from our very busy summer! Stay tuned!

Hugs

I have been totally blog negligent as of late.  I think girls camp and youth conference are partly to blame, though much of the fault is mine.  I still haven't even put pictures of Lorin up on the post I wrote about her.  I promise I will get to that shortly along with catching up on my busy summer.

So lately I've been thinking a lot about hugs and how important they are.  I'm reading Temple Grandin's book "Emergence  Labeled Autistic"  It's basically an autobiography and a book about Autism all rolled into one.  I've been reading about this squeeze machine she invented for autistic people who have tactile sensory issues.  Temple has severe tactile issues.  As a tiny baby she screamed whenever she was held or touched.  The overwhelming sensation of being hugged was actually painful to her.  Her entire life was spent desperately wanting a hug but not being able to tolerate the sensory overload.  Anyway, to make a long story short after watching cattle in a squeeze chute she ends up making them for people.  It pretty much simulates a hug except the person inside has complete control.  Temple said that she did not have a sense of empathy because she was never ever held or comforted.  She said as an adult, for the first time in her life, inside the chute she felt empathy.  As a result of the squeeze machine she has been able to form bonds with people and express the love that she had for them.

So this morning when Ethan gave me a big hug I pretty much cried.  He didn't need to be asked or instructed, he just gave me a hug!  I feel like Ethan's hugs are a special gift.  Ethan not only gives hugs but LOVES hugs!!  He loves to be held and he loves to cuddle.   I may have to let him know when to give hugs and I may have to sometimes tell him to squeeze tight, but I'll take what I can get.   My hug this morning was only the third time I've been on the receiving end of such a spontaneous hug.  Yes I do keep count.

Also, Ethan has a great since of empathy!  Today at church he learned about the good Samaritan.  As we were walking out to the car a little baby was walking and  fell and started to cry.  Gary and I saw that her mom was attending to her and that she wasn't injured so we kept walking.  Ethan started to cry.  He said he felt bad because the little girl fell and we didn't stop to help her!!

Maybe Temple is right.  Maybe empathy and hugs are related.  Ethan was after all one of those babies who had to be held constantly and never grew out of it.  If he had his way I would still be carrying him around!  At the time it was a little bit of a hindrance, but now I see what a huge gift it was, and still is and I'm so grateful.  When he was young I would pray constantly that I would give Ethan what he needed because everything seemed such a struggle and I was so desperate to help him. He just seemed so angry, frustrated, and withdrawn.  Ethan and I would spend hours cuddling on the couch.  I guess the Lord helped me give Ethan what he needed without me even realizing it.  Sometimes it takes years to see the fruits of our labors, or in my case the fruits of our cuddling.

Lovely Lorin

My beautiful Lorin is turning ten and i'm not quite sure how to handle it.  I keep thinking I can hide my head in the sand and she will just stop growing and she will alway be my sweet little girl.  Double digits is too much for this mom to handle.  I just love my Lorin. She is so kind, unusually kind to her siblings.  She love being an older sister.  She has this amazing will power.  I remember when she decided she didn't want training wheels any more.  she came inside and anounced she didn't want them so I took them off.  By the end of the day she was riding her bike.  I love how she has never pplayed with toys, ever.  Very little interest as a small child.  No barbies, no dolls, nothing.  She was an artist from the beginning.  As soon as she descovered art she lost all interest in toys.I love that this girl is addicted to cheez-its!  I love how she is good at almost everything she tries. She is extremely competitive and wants to be the best!  I love how she used to say bygiscool  instead of bycicle. I love how patient she is with siblings who like to give her a run for her money.  I love how I'm not surprised anymore when teachers, coaches, and instructors come up to me to tell me how special and gifted Lorin is.  i love how Lorin wants to try everything and is usually good at everything she tries.  I love how she is fearless.  I love that she is not quite old enough to be embarrassed by holding her mom's hand in public, although I'm sure if she saw someone she knew from school she might not be so eager.  I love how honest Lorin is.  She seldom ever lies.  I also love how she never cusses.  She hates it.  I love that she is starting to listen to popular music and loves the song Eye of the Tiger!  I love that she still hates going to bed.  that she does everything in her power to delay going to bed because she really doesn't want to miss out onn anything.  I love how she can read better than me and probably better than her teacher and probably better than  most adults, but due to her youth there is still a word every now and then that she needs mom or dads help pronouncing.  I love her quick wit.  i ove seeing her progress and change.  I love how close she is to her dad. Those two were partners in crime since she was a baby.  I love how Lorin is 10 going on 30.  She's always been an old soul.  Always seemed older.  I love Lorin's generosity.  Always willing to share with others, especially her family.  i love Lorin's nurturing nature.  it used to break her heart when I woudn't give her siblings something they shouldn't have and they would have a tantrum.  She couldn't stand for them to suffer!  I love that she has the perfect nose.  I ove that Heavenly father gave you to me.  I ove being your mom.  Happy Birthday sunshine.  I love you!

It's official, Gary has been called to be in the High Council!  We were completely surprised.  He's been hiding in primary for the last 2 years and, to be honest, I think he would serve there forever if he could.  He absolutely loves primary and primary loves him!  A member of the bishopric told Gary that he was the glue that held the primary together.  Gary is a rare breed.  He prepares his primary lessons, he sings all the songs, he's there every Sunday, he's really good with the kids that are a challenge, he's big and strong, and he's funny.  He is always put with the hardest class.  Now that he is being released they are going to have to call two people to do what he did!  But I think he is excited to serve even though it wont be nearly as fun as primary.  Gary didn't know anybody in the stake even knew who he was.  He wasn't even a High Priest.
We have a few concerns about his knew calling, first, I have a stake calling two.  Our stake is 25,000 square miles.v  Here you travel a lot when you have a stake calling.  That's jut the way it is.  We have one car.  I guess we will just have to do a lot of carpooling and bringing kids along.  Gary won't be put over YW or YM which will help somewhat because we won't have to go to the same activities.  Our lives have been so insane.  I keep thinking it will slow down but every month is just as crazy.  Oh well, I guess it's a lot better than being bored!

Anniversary

It was one year ago yesterday that Ethan was officially diagnosed with Autism.  A diagnosis that changed our lives forever.  Not for the worse, but for the better because he would have had it either way.  It was the day we finally got answers.  We finally got help.  It was the day we finally got to start to heal.  Wow it's been such a long emotional year.  At times I really thought it would do me in.  I didn't think I would survive.  But here I am, here we are, all the better for it.  Stronger, happier, healthier, more grateful, more patience, more love.  Also more fear and more worries but I'm hoping that will subside after a while and become a backdrop and not the forefront of my thoughts.  Another thing we gained is more friends, more wonderful opportunities, more understanding.  We've noticed that those who know us, at church, school and the neighborhood have gained the same things through knowing Ethan.  What a blessing that is.  What a blessing it is that we can share what we've learned with others and others, for the most part, have been so supportive and receptive.  And others have taught me a lot.  Yes I still have fear, but one thing I have that I didn't have before is hope.  Hope is such a great gift.  Hope gets you going when things get tough.  Hope partners with faith and I've found can get you through anything.

Thank You!!

I just wanted to thank all who donated, left words of encouragement, and cheered on team Bradshaw!!!! I love all of you! It was such a positive heart warming experience!!!!

Playin' Catch Up

Birthday Girl!!

Our Brynn had her 4th birthday on April 22. We got up early and let her open presents before we got on with our day. Her favorite gift was this webkinz unicorn. It pretty much has Brynn written all over it from the sparkles to the ribbons and lots of pink. She loves it!!

This is my sorry excuse at a birthday cake. She loved it. She's pretty easy to please I think.

I did Brynn's nails and we went to McDonald's!! Then that night for dinner we had chicken nuggets and Cheetos and all watched a barbie princess movie together!

Happy fourth sweet Brynnie!!

African Dance

We also had Lorin's African dance recital. They offer free African dance classes at Lorin's school! At the end of the semester they have a recital. It was so much fun. Her teacher is wonderful and loves Lorin!!! I'm so glad Lorin had this experience and will get to do it again next year. I took a lot of African art and I took one African drumming class in college and ever since have just found anything African so interesting, so when Lorin was given the chance we were quick to act on it.

Walk Now for Autism!!!

Was more of a party than a walk. We had so much fun! they had astro jumps and face painters and free food and drinks. They had all sorts of booths set up. We got to network with a lot of other parents and saw a lot of people we knew. Of course we did get into some trouble. The imperial guard stopped by and made an arrest! Luckily he let the kids go on a warning!

the walk was at the Abilene zoo. We went inside the zoo and there were all sorts of booths set up with free stuff and games. There were clowns and cheerleaders and it was just awesome. Then they said a prayer (this is Abilene after all, everything starts with a prayer!) There was a pledge and the anthem was sung and then the walk began which was really a stroll around the zoo!! We were dressed for warm weather, unfortunately it was only in the fifties. The day before it got up into the 90's.

My Friend Janet joined Team Bradshaw!! We didn't have the time to get t-shirts professionally made so we made our own! I have to say we were the only team there with tie dye!! Even if we get our shirts professionally made I think we are going to need to keep the tie dye.

*I have video of Lorin's performance and Brynn blowing out candles but for some reason I cannot get them to download!!! i will try later.

Autism Speaks

As some of you might know our family is participating in something called Walk Now For Autism which benefits Autism Speaks. Now as many of you know, I despise fund raising passionately. I never ask family or friends to participate in school fundraisers. It is something I am totally uncomfortable with, but, I think I have been forced to do a lot of things I'm not comfortable with since our lives have been changed by Autism.

When I got the official diagnosis Gary and I were sitting in a conference room at the school with 10 other people most of whom were strangers. They informed me in the nicest way possible while still trying to hold on to some professionalism that my son was Autistic. Then came the lists of things I needed to do and people I needed to talk to and paper work and websites, etc. etc. It all felt completely overwhelming and I really don't remember most of it.

I came home and did what most people do, I got online. There were so many confusing voices out there. All of them said something completely different. There was anger, and bitterness, and a lot of blaming. Then there was Autism Speaks. This organization has only been around for five years and has done more to change the lives of people with Autism than any other organization. They are bipartisan and have a four-fold mission of research, awareness, advocacy, and serving families who have been affected by Autism.

They have funded countless studies on Autism, not just for a cure, but for prevention, for cause, and for treatment. They continuously advocate for state and federal legislature that supports things like Autism insurance reform. In most states people have to pay for all of their child's therapies out of pocket. Many have to do things like choose between paying their mortgage and treating their child. Before Autism Speaks no states had mandatory insurance coverage for Autism. Luckily, we live in a state where it is mandatory and Ethan is blossoming because of it. Autism Speaks also focuses on awareness. I think the group has really helped to change peoples ideas of autism using commercials, events, etc. I've been wearing the puzzle piece all month, which is the Autism Speaks logo, but has also become the universal symbol for Autism. So many people have asked me questions as a result. As far as serving families goes, well, so many times when I've had a concern or felt isolated, or needed an answer I got on autismspeaks.org. There are kits and community pages and resources.

We would really appreciate your support for Team Bradshaw. Any amount would do. You can donate directly to our team online here. You can click on the name of the team member you want to donate to, or make a general team donation via a link above the team page. Online they only accept donations for team members of 20$ or more. If you want to donate under twenty dollars just send me a check and I will donate it for you at the walk. I'll take pocket change!

I know times are rough right now. I totally understand if any of you are not able to participate. I will not be offended or put off and I'm really sorry if this petition makes any of you feel uncomfortable. I love all of you who read my blog and would in no way want to offend especially knowing that there are people like me out there who hate fundraisers. That being said, this is for my child. I have to do it.

Lovely Brynn

My lovely Brynn turned four today! I feel so fortunate everyday to be her mom.
When I was pregnant with her our lives seemed to be turned upside down and inside out and much of my pregnancy was spent wondering how on earth I would be able to take care of another child. Then Brynn was born. She with her perpetual smile and strawberry hair. Always content, always happy, always lovely.The Lord knew she was just exactly what we all needed. She brought us so much joy and continues to bring us joy everyday!

I love how Brynn is pink! Her skin is pink, her hair is pink and her clothes are almost aways pink! I love how almost from the womb she decided she was a princess. When she was eighteen months old she saw the movie Enchanted and it changed her life forever!!! I love how she never ever walks. She only dances!

I love how she forces her brother to communicate with her. She forces him to play with her and she forces him to be her friend and he has totally reaped the benefits of it.

I love how she is always singing, not in a usual little girl manner, but very dramatic, with passion! I love how she is always prepared to put on a one woman show where ever we are, church, store, school, anywhere.

I love love love her pink hair! I love that she says the word living room like Scooby-doo! I love that she could rest her cheeks on her chest when she was a baby. I love that she loves all things fancy and the pinker the better! In fact, her favorite flavor is pink!

I love her strong will. Though she has embraced all things girl she has this toughness about her. She has unflinching courage and is never intimidated! She is a force to be reckoned with.

I love that she thinks being a girl is the absolute best thing in the whole world and really feels sorry for boys. I love you Brynn. Happy Birthday!!

Birthday Party and Baseball

On Saturday we had Ethan's birthday party with friends from school! We had a great time!! Here are some of the decorations.

Ever since making banners with my sister and mom last summer I've become a little obsessed with them. I wanted a birthday banner and since I didn't have any of the cool equipment my sister has I used my good old pinking shears and cut out the triangles by hand. Then I bound it together with extra wide hem tape. I had this orange extrawide rick rack that I've been wanting to us on something ever since I found it at a garage sale, so I sewed it on top of the hem tape. Then I cut the letters free hand out of peel and stick felt and stuck them on. I can't say it looks as polished or pretty as the banners I made with my sister and mom last summer but, I love it and I think it is charming.
The banner was the only decoration I can take any credit for. My friend Lisa always has the cutest birthday parties for her kids. She was generous enough to give me all the decorations for the space party she threw. So I have to give her all of the credit.The only thing i had to buy for the table was the plastic table cloth! I didn't even have to buy party favors!
Also Lisa. Yes she gave me all of this cool stuff. The kids LOVED the solar system. Everyone was very impressed. We still have it hanging up inn our family room. The kids begged me to keep it up a little longer. To be honest, I like it too!
This is one of the games we played. Pin the comet on the sun. I found it in Family fun magazine and changed it slightly. The the magazine it was supposed to be more like a dart game but since all the kids coming to the party had some form of autism I decided to make it a little less challenging. I think I didn't give these kids enough credit however because every single one got it somewhere on the sun.
The kids posed behind the rocket for pictures! This has become a favorite toy in our house! I also got this idea from family fun magazine.

These are our paper plate UFO's. They fly really well!! Also from Family fun magazine. You can probably tell that I love that magazine.


Ethan opening presents with his pals!

Hitting the pinata! It was an awesome party!!

Here's Ethan on opening day! It was so much fun!!!!!

There's Ethan and his good pal Eric! These two have been thick as thieves since kindergarten. So happy they're on the same team!!

There's Ethan and dad in the out field. They let parents stand with kids in the field. It's way fun.

Ethan in the dugout getting geared up to bat.

Ethan getting some last minute words of advice from his coach. Let me say something about coach tony. He is awesome!!!! He is so so patient. He loves the kids. He just wants everyone to have fun. His son is on the team and he just wants everyone to learn sportsmanship, to learn baseball, and to have fun. There are no scores and every child hits the ball. It was so heart warming to watch. There were so many little wheel chairs out on the field. I couldn't help but feel like we were a part of something really special. Made me love baseball for the first time ever!

Here's Ethan hitting the ball.

Here's Ethan coming home!!

Later that evening we went to the drive-in and saw How To Train Your Dragon. Great movie!! All in all it was a great day!

Beautiful Boy

My beautiful boy is turning seven tomorrow! A birthday is always exciting, but when I think back on the last seven years, I can't help but cry. Mostly tears of gratitude. I can't believe I was chosen to be this boys mother.

I have seen him face and tackle obstacles that would be debilitating for an adult. I have seen determination that exceeds anything I'm capable of. I've seen him struggle and struggle and struggle and then finally succeed. The heart break that is followed by the joy is indescribable.

One word that I think best describes Ethan is strength. By appearances he is a seven year old boy. He's skinny and kind of quirky. Not really interested in doing heavy lifting but the boy is strong, strong in ways that seem beyond a seven year old.

He is always working on himself, his behavior, his actions, his manners. I don't know if he is aware yet that he is different but he knows he struggles with certain things and he works at them.

He has drastically progressed the last six months. Doctors, teachers, parents, family, they all help but the reason Ethan has progressed is because of Ethan.

I love that boy. I love how he always always clears his plate after dinner because it is part of his routine. I love how he sleeps in a fort in his room every night with all the lights on in his room. I love how he is constantly asking us if we are joking. I love the jokes he tells. I love how creative his little mind is. He proves all the experts wrong who think Autistic children aren't creative. I love how brutally honest he is. I love how he shows his emotions with his entire body. He either loves something, or hates it, there is no in between and because he is brutally honest he will tell you.

I love how he will devour 3/4's of something before he suddenly decides he hates it and spits the remainder out. I love how we couldn't get him to eat pizza for several months because of the "pizza bones". I love that, regardless of all the struggles he's had in school he wants to be a teacher when he grows up. I can totally see him accomplishing that goal. I love his smile. I love how joyful he is. His kindergarten teacher told me he was the most joyful child she's ever taught. I love how he can go from the depths of despair to blissful happiness in 2 seconds. I love his gigantic hobbit-like feet that make a loud slapping sound whenever he walks on a wood floor. I love it when he does the robot dance and shoots with laser eyes. I love how his day can't start without a bowl of cereal.

I love you Ethan.

p.s. I found this picture on my camera and had to include it.