What Did I Do?!

Summer is coming to a close. With it goes another season of memories. The things I will chose to remember will most likely be different from the things the boys will recall some day. For example, I will remember this summer as the first summer we enjoyed camping together. It will be remembered as the summer that Mark developed a true six pack (though his cans are still only half way full), and the summer Noah learned how to swim. I will remember that Noah lost four teeth in a two week time span. I will also remember that Matthew had a tooth under his pillow for three weeks before the tooth fairy finally made it to the House of the Saints. I will remember this as the summer that Mark grew into a men's size eight shoe, and now stands almost even with my 5'5" mom.

And this will be the summer that I will always remember as the summer Matthew grew up. He's had a chili bowl hair cut since he was old enough to have hair. It just seemed to fit his face so perfectly. But he's going into 5th grade this year. And while he still has a sweet spirit, and enjoys playing with kids, he is growing. He'll be eleven in two weeks. A chili bowl will not always be the best cut for him.

So today I took him and asked him if wanted to try a different style. He's so compliant he replied "Yes, but only if you don't mind." We looked through the books and I let him chose his style. The stylist who's cut his hair for the last three years said "We're trying something new on MATTHEW?!"

Yep. And as soon as she was done I wanted to cry. Not because the style is awful. She did have to even it up so it is shorter than the picture, but she assured us it would grow out by the next time he was ready for a cut. But I wanted to cry because it made him look so grown up. I wondered if I had made a mistake letting him chose a different style. Yesterday he looked like a little boy. Today he looks like a young man. But while I know his hair style may go through many more different changes, I know his heart will forever stay the same. And Matthew, you will always be my baby boy, no matter how you cut your hair.

Hurting Hands Healing Hands Revisited

Note: I orginally wrote this post back in January. Apparently, the infection is still there and we're still trying to remove it. It is my hope that these words bring comfort to someone else who might also be experiencing the hurt of healing.

Have you ever had a bad infection? A puss filled lesion that caused serious illness? My oldest son contracted MRSA the summer of 2007. It started out as a small pimple like blister on his back. We put him on antibiotics for what we THOUGHT was a staph infection. But it was not clearing up. And...it was getting bigger...and Mark was getting sicker. He was running a fever of 103 and aching all over. It would fill with so much puss that by the end of the day I just knew his skin would burst from the pressure. So we would drain it nightly. We had to get that stuff out. But he cried so hard when it was time to drain it. He knew it was for his own good, but he dreaded it--I dreaded it. I would fill Kleenexes full of the infection, it looked horrible and smelled worse. By the time we took him back in (Which was only a matter of days) the blister was now the size of a half dollar, and growing. I was extremely concerned because he had also broken his arm only a week before that. I just knew if we did not get this infection cleared up, it was going to settle in his break.

When the doctor saw it again for the second time in less than a week he was floored. How did it get so big?! We were treating it with antibiotics! So he had to cauterize it open. He had a special tool that looked like a pen, he heated the tip up, and then punctured the wound. As soon as he punctured the wound with the hot tip, it gushed like popping a water balloon. Next, he laid Mark down and SQUEEZED that blister until I couldn't stand it any longer. Mark was in so much pain, but the doctor said we HAVE to get all of this out. He took a culture of the junk and covered the open wound with gauze. But it was still open. So he was extremely sensitive. He couldn't even brush that shoulder or it sent pain down his entire side. And I had to change the dressing everyday, twice a day. And every time I did, the dressing was filled with the infection. But, after we got the results back the doctor took Mark off of the 1,000mg of antibiotics he put him on initially and gave him the appropriate drug to fight this bacteria. After about four days of dressing changes and nasty tasting antibiotics, the infection looked like it was retreating. It was losing the fight. When the wound started trying to seal back up I had to reopen it to make sure it could drain. It was not fun. But I had to do it to help Mark get better. And he did get better.

And right now that is what it feels like in my own life. I feel like God is trying to squeeze the infection out of me--it is hurting me. I know He is doing it for my own good. I know if He doesn't remove this sickness, it will, like Mark's arm, hurt other parts of my spiritual body. It will eventually take over. He has cauterized my spirit open. And every time something brushes up against this wound, it hurts, sends pain down my spiritual spine. I am so ready to be done with this phase in my life. But, just like Mark, I know it takes time to drain my flesh of this disease. So I will wait and trust that God knows.

For he wounds, but he also binds up; he injures, but his hands also heal. Job 5:18

The Kid in All of Us

We finished out our summer with one last trip to Sea World. We've heard at least a dozen times, "You're going to Sea World A-GAIN?!" Well, as a matter of fact, we are. Doesn't make sense for us to buy season passes if we don't intend to go back. We loved it as usual.

Noah played in Shamu's Happy Harbor between shows. He IS under that water fall. It was very hot, but one doesn't hear many complaints when everyone is walking around dripping wet.

Every one's favorite show is the Viva show. It is a show that uses pacific white-sided dolphins and beluga whales. They also have divers in the show. The head diving supervisor has been doing this show for nine years (as long as we've been going). In all the times we've been we've only missed Trevor's performance once. He is a great performer. And Mark has grown up watching him so much that he can imitate him pretty well.

Matthew and Mark both decided to sit in front of the water fountain that Trevor turns onto the audience. Matthew is trying to prevent himself from becoming soaked by Trevor. Don't think your two little hands are much of a match for the hundreds of gallons of water that are about to come your way buddy. But your smile is priceless.

My boys have for years talked about being trainers at Sea World when they grow up. Mark asked Trevor if it felt like work. He replied by saying "well it is a hard job. And there are mornings when you wake up and the muscles are a little stiff, but once you get here and get in the moment and hear the crowd, you forget all of that." We have always been amazed at the animals. Amazed at the bond that is so obvious between them and the trainers. Amazed at God's creation. And I have to remind myself that the same hand that created these breath taking creatures created me.

Whether or not they do become sea world trainers is yet to be seen. But maybe the reason why they believe they can become trainers is because they can see the wonder each time. Their eyes do sparkle during each performance. Their jaws do drop each time the animals leap into the air. And more than anything, I hope they never lose that magic, no matter what they grow up to do.