Flow

I read the book "Happier" by Tal Ben-Shahar, a professor who teaches a course by the same title at Harvard. I found lots of little tidbits that I found interesting and probably true. There was one section that really hit home, it was called "Flow," and I'll share a little excerpt and here is why.

A lot of people have asked how I run for so long and how I keep my mind off of the misery, etc. This is the only thing I've found that really explained how I felt about running:

"Flow, according to Csikszentmihalyi, is a state in which one is immersed in an experience that is rewarding in and of itself, a state in which we feel we are one with the experience, in which 'action and awareness are merged.'

When in a state of flow we enjoy both peak experience and peak performance: we experience pleasure and perform at our best. Athletes often refer to this experience as being in the zone. Whatever we do in a state of flow - whether kicking a ball, carving wood, writing a poem, or studying for an exam - we are completely focused on our activity; nothing distracts us or competes for our attention. Performing at our best, we learn, grow, improve, and advance toward our future purpose.

When we are not distracted by all the other possible things we could be doing, when we are wholeheartedly committed to our objective, we are free to devote ourselves fully to the task at hand (Amy's note - this is why I end up doing long runs when I have nothing else better to do, it makes it so much easier because I might as well keep running and doing something productive as opposed to nothing at all. And I know you mom's never have a shortage of things to do so I can understand why this would be hard!). In flow, present and future benfit merge: a clear future goal is not in opposition but rather contributes to the experience of the here and now.

Research on flow shows that pain is not, in fact, the optimal condition for peak performance. Rather, there is a specific zone, the line between overexertion and underexertion, where we not only perform at our best but also enjoy what we are doing. We reach this zone when our activities provide the appropriate level of challenge, when the task at hand is neither too difficult nor too easy.

That it, friends. That's how I do it, don't know if it'll work for you but I found that statement so interesting. Whether it's running, employment, housework, etc. If we're being challenged but not overwhelmed, we perform at our peak and achieve the end reward of what we're working for!

Family 5K

Unfortunately I don’t have pictures or this would be a cooler post. The beginning of this month, my family and friends participated in the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure. It’s held every May right before Mother’s Day. I find this fitting as my mom is celebrating 10 years since being diagnosed with cancer.

This is my third year running this race. The first time, I did well. Last year I did pretty well considering the horrible shape I was in and my brother ran half of it with me and we managed to shave 15 minutes off his 5K time. I wanted my whole family to participate this year but my dad said, last year, “Yeah right, I’m not doing three miles!” Him and my mom recently started walking again and were ready to face the race this year. I am so proud that my whole family (minus a brother) and my whole in-law family participated.

I know my mom was terrified to face the faces on the backs of the memorial shirts. I told her this is the best race you can absolutely do. To look around surrounded by 20,000 people and know you’re not the only one this disease has affected is inspiring. The adrenaline that rushes through you as the start gun goes off is contagious. The best part is the shirts – “Save second base,” “Stop the War in My Raq,” “We stare because we care,” etc. People take something so somber and laugh in its face.

My mom was diagnosed right after I graduated high school. I don’t want to tell much of my mom’s story because it’s her story to tell but I’m so grateful to her for listening to the promptings to get a second opinion. There was a less than 5% chance it was cancer and it was. Through radiation and medication, she beat it. I am so proud of her. She is now in remission and completely off all cancer-related medication. I didn’t want to pressure her to do the race or face cancer survivors or those memorialized, but I thought it would be therapeutic for her to CELEBRATE her victory and know it’s ok that she made it and for others, that wasn’t their Plan. She has seemed to avoid all things “pink” due to her cancer (Cricuts, celebrations, candy, etc.) and she took the first step this day in embracing how this sickness has shaped her (and our) life.

My brother Greg ran the whole race with me. We did it in about 28 minutes, my best race time to date. I am so proud of him. I wanted to stop so many times (don’t think I was mentally prepared for this one) but he kept me going. I thought I was holding him back but he shared with me that he wanted to stop many times and I kept him going. Dallin keeps talking about how much adrenaline he had during the race and he finished in his personal best too!

My mom shared with me that right before the race started, her and my dad were in the middle of an intersection and looked at the thousands of people in front of them and the thousands of people behind them and just broke down. This disease has touched so many lives, for good and bad and I feel so blessed to still have my mom around to share special memories with me.

Please get your mammograms (if applicable) and do your monthly self-exams. Know your body and know it well. Listen to promptings and know you are the one who truly knows what’s best for yourself. I find it my mission to raise awareness and encourage people to be aware and fight this battle with all their might. I pray one day we’ll find the miracle that will prevent this suffering in the future.
Special thanks to: SR, SR, SH (and sisters), TN, MH, KM, BM, BM, AC, GM, RM, KH, MP, MP, AP, JO and DP for sharing this special experience with my family and for all of your support.

Freaky

I got a new computer at work with Windows 7 and CS5. Super cool. I was picking my new background image from the standard files that come with Windows 7 and came across this one:

I don't know what these things are but they were so weird and creepy looking that they made me laugh so hard and I had to have them as my background! Every time I see them I sit and wonder what they are or what on earth they are doing but they make me smile.

4-Wheeling

Dallin and I met up with my family in Paragoonah last weekend. It's right by Parawan and just north of Cedar City. Some friends of ours have a big house down there and there were about 30+ of us in the house (including 15 kids under 10).

Dallin had never been 4-wheeling so I was excited to go with him. I've only been a handful of times and not for years so we learned quick! We went on a path to Parawan and also on a few jumps. We went exploring up this hill and I had to gun it so hard to get up that I ran into the bushes. Nice. We also tried to find this big lake and it seemed like we'd been going forever so we turned back and later realized we were only about 2 miles away. Dallin went again and made it to a mile away when my brother's machine broke down and they had to turn back. There was snow on the ground up by where the lake was! Notice my sweatshirt sleeves in the picture above. I have a wicked awesome tan line on my wrists. LOL

We had a fabulous time though and were really happy to not be dusty anymore. My type of camping - inside a house with a shower! Thanks for inviting us down family and friends!

Funny Joke Guys

So to add to my already crappy week, I woke up yesterday in severe pain. I didn't have to be until work until 10 so being up at 6 was not too fun. The pain wouldn't subside either. It was making me nauseous, weak and clammy. Not good.

Around 8 it settled down for about an hour. As I was driving into work it acted up again so I called my mom, the nurse. She said it could be a variety of things and to call my doc. I got to work and kept having to run to the bathroom every 10 minutes because I thought I was going to puke. I'd pretty much narrowed it down to my kidneys and was hoping it wasn't a stone (well, maybe I was because I've heard labor is close to that kind of pain and really couldn't handle much more pain than I was already going through).

I got into a doc at the clinic at 12:30 and was diagnosed with a kidney infection. I got an antibiotic shot in my bum (not sure if I've ever had one there) and got a blood draw by Phoebe the Phlebotomist who got me with one prick. I also got an Rx for antibiotics and Loratab.

We stopped by Rite Aid on the way back to work and they had a coupon for the antibiotic so it was FREE! Luckily too because it was like $25 and $150 without insurance! That's over $20/pill! Does anyone else find it strange that Loratab was only $3 and the antibiotic was more? No wonder everyone's addicted. I haven't had narcotics since my wisdom teeth 10 years ago and they made me so sick but this has seriously been a lifesaver. Luckily the pain has dulled but I'm supposed to drink a ton which makes my kidney work and it's not too happy about that.

Do you think it's funny how bodies work? It's ironic about all the drinking stuff when that's what hurts and I was trying to take care of my body and went to my ab class Wednesday night and we started with Pilates 1000 and made my tummy hurt too so I didn't know what exactly was hurting! Plus, is the nausea from the medicine, the pain or because I haven't eaten because nothing sounds good? These bodies can be tricky you know.

I just feel dumb that I was probably sick a couple weeks ago and thought it went away when in fact it was launching a full-scale war on my kidneys. Thanks for the warning guys.

Focus

This week has been superbly crappy at work. Maybe the worst ever. Well, not ever, but a close second. Without going into the DRAMA that people at my work like to create, I’m on a serious job-hunt. One of my weaknesses is getting walked on and I’m standing up for myself and not taking this crap anymore. I’ve tried and tried to resolve the issues with my co-worker and he keeps throwing me under the bus. Not worth it anymore. I have been physically ill having to go into work every day this week due to severe anxiety. Dallin sent me a great article from Forbes about being bullied at work and that’s pretty much the story.

But I have been praying a lot lately to be guided in the right direction with lots of big decisions coming up. You know, “Help me find the right job that will be conducive to a future family or buying a house or where I need to be to learn the skills I need to grow, etc.” So I don’t know why I was surprised when things fell apart so quickly at work. But today, on the drive in, the song “Small Wonders” by Rob Thomas came on. I usually don’t listen to it because I’ve heard it a million times but a lyric really caught me before I flipped the station. It was talking about the “twists and turns of fate.” It stopped me in my tracks (but don’t worry, I kept driving) and immediately calmed my soul. I felt peace for the first time in three days and recognized the chance to embrace this awful situation and allow myself to be driven to the path I need to be on now.

It’s been an interesting learning experience. I’ve had a lot of assistance to help me learn to recognize my anxiety and how to work through it and I thought this would be a great chance to experiment and put these new tools to the test. Some days were better than others but I knew that my crappy day would eventually end (I wish to never return again but oh well!) And I read this awesome article. I love this blog – it always has such a great message and I thank God for her being in tune enough to be an instrument in His hands because this is exactly what I needed to hear – http://www.natalienortonphoto.com/2010/05/someone-will-always-hate-you.html

So if any of you know of any great jobs out there – let me know since it seems it’s time for me to move on. Exciting and scary all at once. I’ve already had an interview and have a second interview lined up but I’m not quite feeling the right fit. Does anyone know of well-paying jobs that just require laying on the beach in Mexico?

Fun Blocks

This is my latest project compliments of the scrapbook store. I bought the kit and put it all together. I really am getting better at modge podge. Still hate sanding. Can't get enough of peas this summer - they are soooo cute!!