Nicholas' Last Game

TickleFest with Daddy. If only you could hear that squeal. You couldn't even imagine such a sound coming out of such a tiny person;) It's hilarious!

I love this guy! He's fascinating!

Perched on her Daddy before bedtime - the evening ritual it seems. Here's a pic of her doing it at 2 weeks of age and here's one of her right there at 2 months, too. Guess it's her favorite spot.

I believe...

I believe- no matter how good a friend/family member is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.

I believe- that you can do anything in an instant that will give you heartache for life.

I believe- that it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.

I believe- that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.

I believe- that you can keep going long after you can't.

I believe- that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.

I believe- that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there better be something else to take its place.

I believe- that money is a lousy way of keeping score.

I believe- that my best friends/siblings and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.

I believe- that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.

I believe- that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

I believe- that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.

I believe- that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief.

I believe- that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.

I believe- that just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other. And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do.

I believe- that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.

I believe- that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend/family member cries out to you, you will find the stength to help.

Relay for Life

It was an exhilirating, emotional, strengthening, and healing event. I had a really good time listening to guest speakers, meeting survivors and talking to many, many people touched by cancer. Here are some of our team members. Each team carried a "staff" to show that they were represented on the track at all times. The symbolism is that cancer never rests, so neither can we in finding a cure.

I was in charge of the luminarias. We had over 1000 made at $10 a pop for the ACS. Here's the luminaria I made. Lined up around the track, they were lit at 9pm and it was an amazing and beautiful sight to see.

Another cool shot of the luminarias. It was a beautiful (HOT) day.

What Ryan wrote on the Banner going to the walk in Washington, D.C. where every small community will be represented. I was glad he was able to share in the experience with me during some of the evening events because his life has been touched by this disease, as well. He realizes the importance of raising money to wipe out cancer, especially so our children will never have to deal with it.

What I wrote

Info. to take to heart

Such a wonderful helper and fabulous big sister! Sophia just ADORES her! No one can get her to belly laugh like Delaney and Ryan can:)

Lifehouse

New song on the blog is Breathing from Lifehouse. It's old, but one of my most favorite songs EVER. And I'm flippin' thrilled I'm going to see them on July 8th in Baton Rouge. Love them.

Oh - and Saturday I'm working the American Cancer Society's Relay For Life. I should be walking it, I know, but I found out about it too late to get a team together... next year;) Anyway, you can go to this link to donate online. It's an INCREDIBLY IMPORTANT cause!

Britney Dear

I'm always a day late and a dollar short when it comes to celebrity gossip. I try to keep up, but with the craziness of my life, it's near impossible to sit down and read People magazine or watch Extra. I never know who just broke up or got married or had a baby or got cheated on. So anyway, I finally got a chance to sit down and watch Britney's Dateline interview in full last night after I put the kids in bed. Did y'all happen to catch that? Something about her is intriguing... maybe because she was born and raised just up the street. She is yet another face associated with the state of Louisiana that has everyone else in the country thinking we're ALL uneducated idiots.

All of that aside, there is seriously something wrong with that poor girl. Does she have no "people" left? No one left to fix that huge mascara smudge over her right eye? No one left to remove her dollar store extensions and start again? No one left to tell her not to chew gum during an interview? No one left to tell her not to pick at her feet while on national television? And for the love of Pete, where is her stylist?!?!?

For someone of her stature not to have "people" means that something is terribly wrong. If anyone needs people, she needs people. Or maybe Britney really is human.

Have we been too harsh on BritBrit? I dunno. Did she sound remorseful to you? She sounded tired. She sounded frustrated, sure. But did she ever once say, "What I did. It was wrong." Sometimes you just have to take responsibility for your actions.

Matt Lauer: "Why were you crying in that restaurant after you almost dropped your baby?"
Britney: "Because I was hungry, oh, and people were taking my picture..."

Or something like that.

That picture was sad. It broke my heart. Does she owe anyone an explanation? Probably not. But if she did that interview to get people to sympathize with her cause, she needs to work a little harder than "Cuz I was hungry," doesn't she?

Matt Lauer (love!) asked why she drove with a kid on her lap down PCH, and her explanation was because "Starbucks was only five minutes away from home." And, "We're country." (shrug) And shame on that bad, bad doctor for "treating her weird" and calling CPS on her country ass when baby Sean fell out of his highchair on his head. How terrible that doctor was for doing his or her job. Looking out for the best interest of the child. How awful.

Oh, I know, it's tres au courant "to forgive Britney her sins," but I'm sorry, I ain't feelin' it. I'm sick and tired of reading all the sympathy lists of "bad things that happened to my kid that I'm glad the paparazzi didn't see." That is so not the point.

I'm all for supporting moms in need, but it's really hard to be supportive when she says inane crap like, "Accidents happen." I love that. Let's not take an active role in parenting because accidents are bound to happen. I mean really, why step up to the parenting plate at all? "What could I do about it? Accidents happen." Please. There's a time for support, and a time for knocking some sense into someone's ass. When it comes to car seats, people don't see the point in putting a child in one because they "scream the whole time" or because "I didnt' have to ride in one". New laws have been put into place because many, many, many research safety studies have been done since we all rode on the armrest or in the back window. Putting your child in a carseat should be about safety. At all costs. Period. Not just because it's against the law not to.

We all agree: no one is a perfect parent. We all do the best we can with what we've got. And being stalked by paparazzi 24/7 has to be horrifying. Yes, yes, yes. But, I'll say it again, why aren't her loved ones helping her? Wouldn't you reach out to a friend that was obviously hurting that badly? Haven't we all had to talk some sense into a friend or loved one that wasn't thinking clearly? I'm not trying to get all Mommy Wars on her. I just really wanna know: where is that person for Britney? My cousin, Teresa, made a good point... Where is HER mother? Oh, wait, I know, she's livin' large just up the street in the mansion Britney bought her.

Okay.. hopping off my soapbox now.

Trip to Alabama

We had an incredible Father's Day weekend. Road trips with my sister and all 5 noisy, crazy kids are always an adventure. My dad has been feeling better everyday, so the highlight was when he took us out on his boat. The kids enjoyed every minute of the entire weekend. They've asked me a hundred times since we've been home when we're going to go back. Thanks for an awesome weekend, Dad and Dixie! And, again, Happy Father's Day, Popadopolus!!! I LOVE YOU!

I've got a present for ya! Now this is what one would call a "Bow Head".

Sophia playing with Aunt Keri ("Wee-wee")

Sweet baby face

Austin and Nicholas had a turn on the boat first

Blowing bubbles

Sophie enjoying the sunshine at the Marina

While waiting for our turn on the boat, they had a picnic and played Cootie with Mimi

Maddy's got Cooties

Mimi and Delaney - Pretty in Pink

Finally enjoying their ride. It was a perfectly beautiful day.

Maddy loved going fast. At first she said "I kinda sared" and then she said "Doe fasser, Pops!"

Helping Pops drive the boat was fun! (BTW, That's the face he used to give my boyfriends... kinda intimidating, huh?;) Too bad it doesn't scrare my kids - HA!

I'm not sure what this face is all about

My Mother's Day/Birthday present (no, not the kids - i already had them;). It is SO wonderful to snuggle up with a good book on.

The cake.

Here are the oh-so-helpful cake makers, bakers, and decorators. I still get purple sprinkles stuck to my feet when I walk around the kitchen;)

My hottie hubby turned 33!

Water-filled Weekend

Happy 33rd Birthday to my awesome husband, Ryan. I love you, Slick! I still feel the same about you as I did last year:) Click here to read that...

We had a fun, exhausting weekend. Friday we spent the day at a local water park for a Navy family fun day put on my Ryan's command. It was clean and fun and HOT, so the water was incredibly refreshing. Madelyn was crazy on the slides, going from one to another with NO FEAR! Sophie hung out under the big umbrella snoozing most of the time, but did get in a couple times and enjoyed it - until Ryan tried to put a life vest on her and take her into the wave pool. Ooops! That really pissed her off.

Today, Ryan wanted to spend his birthday on the water, so his friend with a brand spankin' new $65,000 ski boat took us out on the Pearl River. It was awesome! Very little boat traffic. The kids had a ball riding in the tube and Delaney even knee-boarded!!! Did you get that? My little chicken was pulled behind a boat on a kneeboard... and she even figured out how to turn and go no-handed all by herself! Unbelievable. We even found a secluded, little "beach" that had a rope swing attached to a big tree and the girls had a blast flying off of it into the water. So, now we want a boat...

Laney, Maddy, and Olivia helped me make an LSU themed red velvet cake for Ryan this evening. Kind of symbolic considering LSU didn't even make it to the regionals this year:(. And we had a little party for him. It was cute. Anyway, we're all exhausted so we're going to put the kids to bed (which won't be hard because they're already walking zombies) and watch a rented movie and probably fall asleep on the couch. Hope you all had a good weekend, too. I'll post pics of it as soon as they're developed (I didn't dare take my digi cam to the water park or on the boat). Monday starts Vacation Bible School for us all (I'm volunteering to teach on the days I don't work). My summer classes I teach at the hospital are beginning this week, too. It's going to be a busy one. Love to all!

Oh - one more thing - in an extremely exciting news brief - Madelyn Christine, my almost 3-year-old, is officially potty trained. Praise the Lord! I never thought it was going to happen, she's so stinkin' hardheaded! It actually happened 2 weeks ago, but I decided to wait to make the announcement in case she regressed. About the time I decided to give up on her, SHE made the decision she was ready. It sounded something like this "No, Mommy, I do it AW BY MYSELF!" Just like that. Go figure.

My Entrepreneur

Madelyn is sitting on the bed next to me turning the pages of my book entitled Start Your Own Business.

Me: Is that a good book?
Maddy: Yes, Ma'am.
Me: Are you planning to start your own business?
Maddy: Yes, Ma'am.
Me: Wow. What are you planning to sell?
Maddy: Piggy toes.
Me: Cool. And what exactly will people do with piggy toes?
Maddy: Wear 'em around.
Me: Oh. And then what?
Maddy: I will get monies and buy presents... pink and brown presents.
Me: Sweet.
Maddy: Yes, Ma'am.

Close-up

I love my baby sisser!

Tip-Toe Parenting

I think I’ve always had this aspect of my personality that is afraid to be different, or at least let everybody know that I’m different. I have always wanted everyone around me to understand where I’m coming from - to not think that I am weird or dislike me. This, of course, is an impossible task, and during my childhood and teen years the desire made for a lot of misunderstood dramatic angst and inspired a terrible lot of really bad rebellion. I’m a little better now at putting who I am out there and letting people deal with it, but I suppose that is helped by the fact that I have grown a lot in my 30 years. I have had a lot of help in learning how to open up and speak my mind more. I spent 1 year in counseling during high school and 2 years in deep therapy during my Master's Program that helped me learn who I am and actually like who I am. Still, I prefer to stay home a lot and sometimes shy up like a mute clam at social functions - so maybe I’m not any better at being proud of who I am than I was when I was 15.

This is where I walk a fine line - at work and sometimes in my personal life. Not only do I want to be understood and liked, but I also have a massive desire not to offend. I've never been a very opinionated person and there are few things I feel are worth taking a stand over. One being my family, of course. With that includes parenting and discipline, things I deal with on a daily basis, so they happen to be in the forefront of my mind. The others are cancer awareness (for obvious reasons) and child abuse prevention. That being said, I would never want what I believe or feel strongly about to make anyone else feel badly about themselves or their parenting decisions. I mean, parenting is super charged with opinions and "experts". Honestly, though, I think we just all do the best we can. I can accidentally make my own close family members and friends feel badly about how they raise their kids by simply tossing out a some random statistic, and man, I hate that.

For these reasons, I’m generally pretty quiet about various things I feel strongly about. I don’t use this website to preach repentance or shake my fist about inappropriate parenting styles, but that doesn’t mean I don’t feel strongly about religion and differences when it comes to the parenting department. It just means that I respect YOUR beliefs and YOUR feelings about these things. However, at work (since I work at a Parenting Center and my official title is a Parenting Educator, which, sadly, has people assuming and expecting me to be one of those so-called "experts") and in my personal life, I get a lot of questions about this stuff. That is when I dare to answer questions about parenting and discipline, as far as what works/doesn't work for me and what I have known to work/not work for others. Also, I can throw out statistics regarding almost anything when it comes to children. You probably get it by now, but I still want to let the world know one more thing, and just maybe come back and re-read the following sentences if anything I say in the future makes you feel defensive or makes you feel like you may need to send me an e-mail with a lot of swear words in it:

I believe/write/talk about how I personally feel and the result of what I personally have experienced and studied. Anything I say is not meant to change your mind or negate your own decisions. I respect parents to make their own educated decisions. I don't believe any loving parent would intentionally do something to harm their child. Every child is different!! Techniques I swear by because they worked wonders with my children may not work with your children. Everyone parents in a way that is best for them and their family.

This is what I really think, and I have been thinking a lot lately about this whole mothering thing. This somehow sacred ideal that there is a perfect way to mother, and that women who deviate from this method are somehow inferior. No matter what your taste, you can read a study or a book by a self-proclaimed expert who will back you up. Want to Attachment Parent? Read this book! Want to CIO? Read this book! Want to use cloth diapers? Read this study! Want to use a bottle? Here’s what this doctor says!

The Latest Studies show... Talk about a phrase that should be removed from all languages. 30 years ago "The Latest Studies" showed that bottle-feeding and starting solids at 3 weeks and using disposable diapers was the best way to raise your child. Today, "The Latest Studies" show that breastfeeding and starting solids after 9 months and using cloth diapers are the best way to raise your child. These so-called Latest Studies don’t ever agree with each other, because if they did, there would be no more money given out to actually do studies, and there would be no money made in writing books.

Most of us survived childhood intact. Sure, we trot out our parents’ mistakes and brandish them as proof of our suffering. Sure we rant and rave, promising ourselves and anyone else that listens that we will be different, that we will not make the same mistakes they did. But in the back of our minds, we all know there is no such thing as a perfect parent. And to our dismay, we really do know that we won't be one either. And yes, there is such a thing as bad mothering.

But.

Bad mothering is not using disposable diapers. Bad mothering is not using bottles and formula. Bad mothering is not putting a baby into a crib and letting the baby cry until she learns to sleep on her own. Bad mothering is not giving the baby a cookie to just shut up her whining, already.

Nor is bad mothering using cloth diapers. Or breastfeeding until the baby is 4. Or letting the baby sleep in bed with her parents. Or feeding the baby a vegetarian diet.

There are women out there who are bad mothers. There are mothers shooting up while their children die of starvation and neglect in the next room. There are mothers out there who stuff a pillow over their heads so they don’t have to listen to the whimpers from their 8 year olds while their fathers molest them. There are mothers out there who abandon their children on the street because they no longer wish to care for them. There are women who slowly twist their children’s limbs until they snap while their children cry and beg, promising to be good.

Bad mothers. First hand, I've seen too many of them. Yes.

But most of us are not.

At some point along the line, women in the Western world stopped trusting their instincts. We began to listen to doctors. We eagerly read studies and books that would confirm to us that yes, we were good mothers!

And worse, we began to betray each other. We began to gather in camps, and we set up rules for what constituted good mothering. And any mother who strayed outside those rules was a bad mother. We’d sit together over tea and discuss in outraged tones the ignorant woman down the street who bottle-fed her child from birth, smugly asserting our superiority in breastfeeding our own children for years. We’d converse over a power lunch about the poor deluded woman who quit her high-profile job to so she could stay home and finger-paint, rolling our eyes and congratulating ourselves on our excellent luck in nannies. We’d snipe over email and on message boards, on blogs and over the phone.

Look at me! I am a better mother! And I can prove it to you by surrounding myself with other mothers who think just like me! I can prove it by shoving these books in your face! I can prove it by demeaning other mothers who have made different choices than mine!

Why can we not feel confident enough in our own mothering choices that we do not need prove it with books upon books and superior scorn directed to other mothers? I write this as a shelf of parenting books sits beside me.

Ask yourself, and be honest. When is the last time you criticized another mother in your mind? Was it today? Was it yesterday? At work and in playgroups, I hear it all day long.

The next time you hear yourself making a nasty comment about another mother…stop. Just stop. And ask yourself – is she really a bad mother? Does she abuse her child? Does she neglect her child? Co-sleeping is not abuse. Bottle-feeding is not neglect. Think about what is coming out of your mouth.

Do not diminish the pain of a child who sleeps chained in a closet, ribs cracked from her latest beating by equating her to a child who has learned to sleep by crying it out for a few nights in her crib. Do not diminish the pain of a child who has been sexually abused by equating her to a child that sleeps peacefully between her loving parents. Do not diminish the pain of a child who has not eaten for days by equating her to a child who is not fed meat or who drinks formula. Once again, I have seen these things first hand. There's obviously no comparison.

We are the none of us perfect. None of us are. And we will all make mistakes. We will learn, we will revise our thinking (several times); we will throw up our hands and let go of a long cherished ideal because we have just got to do it or collapse.

So how about instead of attacking other mothers, we start feeling confident about ourselves? How about we look to our own children instead of spending time self-righteously judging everyone else’s? Throw away your parenting books or at least use comment sense with them. Think about what your doctor tells you and evaluate what it means. When other mothers criticize you, shake it off and ignore the temptation to turn around and attack back.

Let’s try supporting each other for a change. I think it would make us all better mothers to do so.

Sophia Grace

Sophia is an angel from above. She has the sweetest disposition of any baby I have ever known. I know I'm biased... I can hear you all saying it in unison right now. But she really is. Now that she smiles, she smiles all the time. And coos and gurgles and squeals at people and nothing. She is content to just be. She sleeps more than any baby I have ever known, too. I used to worry a lot about it, but her Dr. said that all babies sleep different amounts, she just sleeps more than most. Yea. Seriously, she averages about 4-5 wakeful hours in a 24 hour period. No kidding. Some days she's awake more, but the next day she makes up for it and will only be awake for about an hour. And I'm not kidding when I say this either... She has NEVER, in her 3.5 months of living outside my body, had a single "wakeful" time at night. Seriously. Not even the day she came back from the hospital, or the time she was sick in the hospital. She has been sleeping 10 hours at night since 10 weeks of age, but even before that, she would grunt, I would feed her and then put her right back to bed without a fuss. I am blessed. The Lord knows I need my sleep, and He has given me the perfect baby for that. I just really hope I'm not jinxing this sleepful bliss or angel baby syndrome by talking about it too much;)

It's amazing how I love my children. After one, I wondered how I'd love 2. After 3, I feel as though my heart will burst every, single day with love for them. They are such amazing little creations that I am so incredible proud of. Each so unique in their own ways and I'm learning more about Sophie's personality every day. She's lovey, and snuggly, and sweet, sweet, sweet. I just want to squeeeeeeze her when I see and hold her. You would, too.

Okay, enough about my precious baby. I know, I know, every Mom believes their children are the most precious, perfect, amazing entities on earth. I feel the same way about my other two, as well. But... but... but... they really ARE the most wonderful. And if you don't agree, well, you're just crazy and blind - tee hee;) So, here are some new pics of my angel for you to want to squeeze.

Snuggle Bug

Sophia loves sitting on her new back porch in her bouncy seat

My Personal Recommendations - Take 'Em or Leave 'Em

Like most parents, we've have owned nearly every baby product and contraption there is out there... only to discover some are huge wastes of money that wind up sitting in the attic or get given away only to sit in someone else's attic. Here is my short list of baby products I couldn't live without.

Boudreaux's Butt Paste - A great product to combat evil diaper rash and much more. My babies never had serious rashes, but, hey, if it's good enough for Oprah...

Luvs diapers - Pants down, the best there is in the poop containment industry. They smell good, are less expensive, and work just like Pampers and don't stink like pee or feel damp the way Huggies do.

Avent bottles - Thankfully, my babies have never had bad reflux or much spit up, so they didn't require expensive bottles with 23 parts. And these work like a charm for minimal air swallowing... and it's easy to transition between these and boobs and back.

Mylicon drops - ahhhh! Bad, bad gas be gone! Oh - the Wal-mart generic brand works just as well and costs much less.

On Becoming Baby Wise - Ezzo critics be damned. Taken with a dose of common sense, this book is a great guideline for flexibly scheduling baby. Did we follow it to the letter? No way! Did the basic principles work for us? You betcha... 3 babies sleeping through the night by 2 months is proof enough for me. Plus, a whole lotta my friends have used it (and not to the letter) with great success. Again... ahhhh! *I also really like The Happiest Baby On The Block. I learned a lot about different ways to soothe a baby with that one.

Graco Pack 'N Play - This beloved piece of furniture has gone from newborn bassinet, to changing station, to let's not put baby on the floor with maniac toddler and dogs, to a place to contain a toddler anywhere with toys, to a bed for a toddler when out of town. A must own.

Exersaucer - Before they learned how to crawl, they would sit in this for hours and entertain themselves. A staple of play time.

Baby Einstein - Baby. Crack.

Sling - I've only now had one with my 3rd, but I'm wondering what I did without it before. I wear it around the house mostly because I can nurse, load the dishwasher, talk on the phone, and scratch my bum all at the same time. Perfect for the multi-tasker.

Baby Bjorn front carrier - I had one of these with all of them. Provides vital hands-free closeness, but doesn't snap your back in half.

White Noise - Ok, not exactly a product. Rather, the oooh (yawn) sooo soothing.... Zzzzzzzz. Excellent for my middle child who is a "light" sleeper.

Bouncy Seat and/or Swing - I say "and/or" because my 2nd hated the bouncy seat and my 1st didn't care for the swing, but my 2nd and 3rd desperately need/ed the swing like a drug and my 1st and 3rd live/d in the bouncy seat, if you get what I mean...depends on the kid for these, but they're both worth a try for some minutes of sanity. Chances are, any baby will like one or the other, or both.

Okay, there they are... Take 'em or leave 'em!