To my big brother who has protected me, joked with me, picked on me, bodyslammed me, hugged me, toughened me, babyed me, and has always been there for me. I love you, Ricky! Hope you have a great day!
5.31.2008
5.26.2008
Very Sad Today
one of my closest friends here, Rebecca, is moving. You may remember her as I've mentioned her several times on this blog, usually for some totally thoughtful thing she has done for me. I will miss her dearly. Her companionship, her loyalty, her good heart, her listening ears and wonderful hugs. She has really been there for me this past couple really tough years. I wish them the best, but really wish they didn't have to go. It will just not be the same without her silly, artistic, fun-loving, adventurous spirit.
:(
5.25.2008
Happy, Happy Birthday!
to my beautiful, wonderful, loving best friend and big sister!!! I love you and hope you're feeling better for your big day!
5.22.2008
5.19.2008
Yesterday
I was thinking I was going to blog yesterday... then I wasn't... then I was... and then I couldn't. Now I am. It's not so raw today. Although it doesn't seem like it was a whole year ago I said goodbye to him. A whole year ago we walked him to the gates of Heaven with our words, our love, our hands, our tears. A whole year ago I experienced something more gut-wrenching and excruciating than I could have ever imagined. A whole year ago that, in an instant, I experienced relief and thankfulness to our almighty God like no other time in my life. Words can't explain it. Can't explain how he waited for us... my sister and me... to get there. How hard that must have been for him. How he looked at us. How he looked. It is still so vivid in my mind. No one should have to go through that. I hope those I love never do, if they haven't already. It changes your life... the way you look at life... and death... and fear... and cancer... and choices... and experiences... and the insanity of all of it together.
This year has been dark. Every holiday without him. Every birthday without him. Every comment my kids make about him. Everything is different. Vastly different. Empty, yet lighter. Sad, yet content. When you watch someone move from here to there, everything changes. Things that I once deemed important are meaningless. Things I once valued are pointless. Now my thoughts revolve around what really matters. My family, my kids, my health, their health, friendships, love, helping others get through it. Time matters, life matters, faith matters, trusting God matters. That's all. That's it. There is no more.
I wish we could all just be there... everyone I love... in an instant... be there in the loving arms of both of my fathers and my mom and grandparents and aunts and uncles and friends. In the midst of our Lord. All together forever. Instead here we are, living this test life to see if we deserve the real one. See, my perspective has changed, dramatically.
A whole year. How many more will I have to endure without them?
5.17.2008
Recovering
For those who don't know... Delaney was diagnosed with viral meningitis on Wednesday after 8 hours in the E.R. She's pretty much over the virus (hasn't had a fever today at all)... except for the fact she's flat on her back due to complications/side effects from the spinal tap (lumbar puncture). Every time she sits up she gets excruciating headaches. Anyone have any ideas of fun and exciting things an 8-year-old can do flat on her back??? We're out of things to do. She has watched every movie we have, read every book, watched every episode of Hannah Mmontana (who she doesn't even like) and is going nuts. She may be like this until Wednesday!!! Lord help me... I mean her;)
Just f.y.i. - viral meningitis is more common than you think. If you or your child has and infection in their head - sinus, ear, etc. - and gets a virus at the same time, the virus can enter the cerebral-spinal fluid through the infection causing meningitis. Freaky, I know. And leave it to one of my kids to get it. Actually, 80% of the cases are un/misdiagnosed because the symptoms are so similar to the flu (except the stiff neck and sensitivity to light and numbness in hands which Laney experienced). Viral meningitis is better to have than bacterial, thankfully. If she'd had that she'd still be in the hospital. All the complications she's dealing with now are because she has such low spinal fluid - because they took out 3 vials - which is a lot for a mere 45 pounder. Her brain has little to cushion it in her skull when she sits up so she gets headaches. Bummer. Until it replenishes itself, she'll be horizontal. Also, if there is a spinal fluid leak from the puncture, she won't feel better by Wednesday and will have to have a CT Scan of her head and possibly a blood patch. So, prayers would be good, too.
Love to all and enjoy this gorgeous weekend. I'm thinking of taking her outside and laying her in a lawnchair so she/we can experience some of it.
Delaney's 8th Birthday Magic/WaterSlide Party Extravaganza
last saturday was delaney's big day. she invited all her friends and family to her party. we had a great time! right now she's recovering from a pretty bad illness so we're glad she was well for that day. THANK YOU everyone who made it a success! i would have never been able to do it alone without losing my mind. if anyone wants to see some pretty hilarious big kahuna videos, see ryan's blog.
this is "tricky trigg". he is an award winning magician, just returning from placing 3rd in the world in las vegas, that lives in the area. he was outstanding! (and he was graduating from high school as valedictorian and student class president that same night - yes, he's only 17!)
this is "tricky trigg". he is an award winning magician, just returning from placing 3rd in the world in las vegas, that lives in the area. he was outstanding! (and he was graduating from high school as valedictorian and student class president that same night - yes, he's only 17!)
just look at her face - made all the craziness worth it!
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