Post-Euphoria

Sleeping difficulties. Thoughts running through my head and only a small portion of it is related to dissertation. Haha.. Very productive for being counter-productive.

I've been thinking about the RHCP concert that I went to last Sunday (2012.06.24). It means to me in many ways; more than seeing my favourite band live in concert with my own two eyes and having the best time of my life. It means realising one of my dreams and how empowering the whole episode felt for me.

I've always wanted to see them since high school, but unfortunately, the chances of them coming to Indonesia were and still are pretty slim. When I knew they were to perform here in UK, the high schooler me would choke me to death if I throw away the chance. I couldn't believe my luck; if I weren't given this scholarship and if they weren't supposed to fly to UK, this high school dream would probably rot and die. So I did my part.

The ticket, transportation and accommodation set me back around £100. Not cheap, at least for me. It's not the financial setback that worried me the most, but the fact that I was about to go alone to a place I had never been to, no one within that area to fall back to (in case of emergencies), to rock out with no one I know (what if I get trampled and there's no one there to save me?). Plus, I'm a bit at disadvantage: I'm a short female foreigner and English isn't my first language. For some, it's no big deal. Me, I had no experience at all on this. Taking all this into account, I know what the risks are. I played some bad scenarios in my head and thought how to tackle them, making sure I didn't chicken out.

Of course, scenarios aren't always spot-on. On D-Day, Sunderland's sky took several heavy piss on us and luckily stopped in time before RHCP came out. Due to bad "weatherproof" jacket, apart from my head, chest and back, everything else was drenched. It seemed to be a minor discomfort at the time, but when you feel cold and smell like a hobo afterward, it's just not fun anymore. Not to mention other health and social issues it may cause you.

I can still remember the look of the construction worker gave me when I was walking to Edinburgh Waverley train station for a shortcut to my hostel. It was chilly (the weather) and suspicious (the look). I couldn't blame him; it was 3 am when I came back from Sunderland.

Weather complaints (and lack preparation thereof?) apart, it was one of the best moments ever in life. My fave band, few ten metres away from me, rocking the stadium. The crowd is as crazy as I thought it would be and I took several unintentional painful physical momenta. What I didn't expect was the crowd, or at least people around me, made sure everyone is having a good time. The much older and bigger guy next to me made sure me and the girls in front of me are alright. The guy a few feet from me made space so the guy (a complete stranger to him) beside him who just went to the toilet would stand in the same place. Bottom line: true fans (and true concert goers) connect and share happiness eventhough they're strangers.

All of these exciting things would be all the more better if my friends were there. To tell the truth, I'm normally not the kind of person who would watch a movie by myself, let alone going solo to a concert. I never thought I'd have the gut to go to a concert abroad alone and have fun, but I did. I gladly took the risks and endured the (slight) downside because I'd regret it more if I didn't go. Sunderland was outside of my comfort zone and the results of going out of it were beyond expectation that I can't help but feel empowered. 

And proud as hell at that. Now I, or my future husband, can say this in the future:

"Kids, in 2012, your mother went on her own in a foreign country far from home to catch her rockstar heroes in concert despite the torrential rain and being smaller than the rest of the people. And she had one of the greatest time in her life."

February in recap

Six months to go! Or 5 months and a half if I can make it.. :)

I finally submitted my final proposal for the dissertation and have one of the nice lecturers as my supervisor. She taught us in the previous semester and she is really kind and fun and she likes Sumatran coffee! Dissertation will be about the tuition fee in Indonesia's higher education and its social and economic impacts. It's quite funny, considering that my undergraduate program's tuition fee was, and still is, the most expensive in my university (or probably in all Indonesia's public universities). Now I need to start writing the first few chapters of my dissertation which she advised me to do so that I can finish quite early..hopefully.

That addition to my workload did not stop me from adding another activity into my schedule.. actually, two to be exact: being a member of the university choir and attending Elementary Chinese lesson. I know, I'm a crazy woman, cause I always need an extracurricular outside my work/study no matter how busy and tired I'll be. But I think I'll manage these two, cause it's not as if I'll be attending 3-sessions per week as with my dance school..which I sorely miss btw. :__( Dancing and/or singing helps me channel these emotions I don't always let people know.

Aaaand.. speaking of that.

Hrrrr.. Where do I start?

Well, I would say that I did something I'm not so proud of. It's one thing if you want to stand up for yourself and it's another thing if you tell a person to eff off ungracefully. And I did both. To a decent person I've known for quite long. Not that I worry so much whether I was being graceful or not (the only time I can be graceful is when I'm in ballet slippers *random*), it's just that I was being rude to a friend and it leaves a sour taste ('though I like sour and spicy sauce.. *again, random, irrelevant fact*). I honestly feel sorry that it happened..and it actually might be better if there was someone else to tell those things for me, like Marshall Eriksen for Ted Mosby, not in a rude rough way (although appreciated :p). But if I can say a few good things from that 'drama' is that I stood up for myself, said what I needed to say, learned from my mistake and now am ready to move forward.

Nevertheless, there were many things to be grateful and happy about, which I am constantly reminded of, in February. Like, for instance, how you can rediscover your long-lost friendship with other people, the fact that spring comes early here and that I am surrounded by nice and warm people. Oh, and the fact that I'm going to watch the Russian State Ballet's Swan Lake this March!! Yayness! Aside from that, I think from March and then on I'll be quite busy with assignments, dissertation writings, choir rehearsals, Chinese lessons, and having a good time (I hope..). And with only two days of lectures per week, I hope I don't procrastinate. :p So, yeah.. hopefully March will be exciting and productive, not just for me but to all of us as well. :)