you found one once, you'll one again

..hmm..

Gw agak2 lupa mau nulis apa but anywaayyy.. I'm getting better everyday, all thanks to this book. It gave me ideas what to do post-breakup and everytime I spaced out and started thinking about him, I read that book. Hahaha.. Yes, sebagai orang yg sering dimintain pendapatnya, gw harus mengakui gw ga tau caranya ngehandle breakup. Sebetulnya isi buku itu cukup logis sih, ga harus jadi jenius untuk mengetahuinya. Tapi penyampaiannya bagus banget, it put me back to reality and at the same it comforted me. Oh, dan bedanya sama buku2 panduan putus lainnya, buku ini ga sepenuhnya ngjelek2in mantan pacar.

..hmm..

Yeah well, breakup sucks hard.. Kata nyokap, hari2 pertama stlah putus gw terlihat lebih hitam dan kusam padahal jelas2 gw ga berjemur dan Bandung udah sering mendung dan hujan lagi. Dan keliatannya gw kayak orang sakit (atau abis sakit). Sekarang sih, menurut beliau, gw udah lebih mending dan tampaknya udah lebih lega. Amiinn..

Oh yaaa!!! Gw akhirnya mendapatkan visa tersusah di dunia!! VISA AMERIKA!!! Ohohoho.. Ternyata setelah kesialan demi kesialan di waktu lalu, gw langsung dapet that bloody visa sekali coba. Walau gw sempet ragu bakal beneran jadi pergi karena watir ama bokap, tapi akhirnya gw pikir bahwa gw pantas mendapatkan perjalanan 2 minggu ke Amerika itu. Setelah 3 tahun terkucilkan dari pergaulan normal, gw berhak dapet kebebasan ini.

i have to stay away, i'm causing too much pain

Yesterday I went to Jakarta with my J-town friends and as I gazed out through the window something existed again in my chest..

It was the longing for home.

I have always loved Bandung as my hometown. But for the past eleven months somehow I managed to convince myself that Jakarta would be another home to me. Thus, there hadn't been any sense of loss everytime I went there.

And just yesterday - as Monday's incident creeping on my mind - I had to stop myself from crying as realization hit. I now feel homeless here..

..because I just lost the only person who makes me feels like home everywhere he goes.