i'll take whatever i can get?

I just downloaded Zu's latest album, Carboniferous, that scores 83 on Metacritic so far. It's apparently not ear-friendly, nor harmony-friendly. But I guess this is the kind of music I'd like to hear after unpleasant minor events that ruined my day.

It goes without saying that working on weekend sucks big time. I have to finish 6-7 reports by either Monday or Tuesday. I'm currently on Report # 3.

Adding to that, here's the unpleasant minor eventa:

1. I was bothered again. By someone I don't really want to talk to and to talk about.

2. I just found out that my crush has hooked up. Yeah, the crush who got me feeling I am doing the 4 kilometers running test everytime we get in touch. Out of breath and tired.

Am I cursed? :(

besides smart-ass,

I also dislike people who outwelcome their stay.

First of all, I'm not a good person. Far from it. I behave nicely because of social pressure and because I'm scared I'd get bad karma from behaving otherwise.

Second, I'm easily disturbed by people who want my attention but who have nothing really interesting to say to me (close friends, families, amiable co-workers, cute guys, husband potentials excluded).

Put 1 and 2 together, you'd get 3: I don't like responding to people who waste my time AND when I do respond, I get stressed out. Makes me want to jam my shoes into their mouths.

Well, okay, I guess I need an anger management class. Or screw the karma thing altogether.

-untung ada sepatu C&K baru yang dapat menceriakan hatiku :] -

long weekend is a myth

I woke up feeling really tired. That's my fault entirely, because I waited for a download and stayed up late. I don't know if it only occurs to me, but downloading in Google Chrome is a total bleh. It never really finishes and I had to restart a couple of times before I gave up and moved to Firefox.

And then I stupidly made myself late for work. The results are disastrous. I didn't have the time to wash my hair who's gone AWOL. I forgot to change my panty.

Total mess.

Also, due to my new project's sudden request, I couldn't attend my friend's birthday lunch. Well, I didn't know what struck me. I should've gone out and ditched the task. But probably because I didn't want to feel guilty for leaving my co-workers with a tense atmosphere. And neither did I have the time to meet my college friends because of the assignment.

Augh, my Saturday was ruined.

I got a nice little surprise tho'. Thank God for that.

And I can't help but dreading the following week. Can you believe this? Finally a two-days off (I work on Saturdays, mind you) but still a wedding to attend to on Monday and calls to make during the long weekend.

God, I need a proper holiday.

(Kenapa sih mesti nikah hari Senin? *sobs*)

a letter to a friend

a letter to a friend

Hello there,

I've been your friend for more than 3 years and I have not filed any problem to you until right now. Oh yes, I'm going to. I'm sorry if this creates you any discomfort but I just don't know how to solve it by myself.

I tried. Before. Once. When you tried your best to be everything for her; her boyfriend, her bestfriend, her keeper. I was happy for you, I really do. I wasn't happy with us, tho'. You neglected me after you got a girl in your arms. But I never gave up on you then, didn't I?

I know you believe that friends are not made, they just happen. I agree with you. But I'm a big fan of balance and two-way willpower, also. Hence, even if it's meant to be, that's also because we tried - no matter how small our effort was. So I hope you're not thinking of leaving our friendship to the hands of fate - while you were busy chasing girls.

But enough about me. Let's get to you. Don't go all out pouring yourself to another girl. You told me yourself that you also believe that relationships also happen; you can't help it. Take it slow. You have the tendency to be a selfless giver towards the girls you like. That's charming and I'd also kill for a guy like that. But remember the last time you gave your everything? Remember when you said you probably was too nice for your own good?

Yeah, don't be like that again. You'd exhaust yourself. You won't be able to give your friends any deep and genuine attention.

Hey, I admit I'm less attractive than her to you. Or than any of your ex-girlfriends for that matter. And I know by heart I am not your ideal wife or the perfect mother for your children. And yeah, I also did neglect you when I gave my all to a boyfriend - why do you think I'm telling you this, ha? We both learned the hard way.

But I'd never leave you with a broken heart or keep you hanging on. And I hope that fact alone counts for you to hear me out.

(Okay, so I created some dramas or probably too fussy sometimes. Sorry. That's just me being a girl.)