Happy New Year

Off to bro and SIL's house to celebrate the new year. Dunno if I'll make it even close to midnight. Still feeling worse than awful and its sad because my Nana is here. Did go shopping for stuff for my hospital bag and baby stuff, too. Tell you about it later.

may 2005 bring you all health, happiness and bouncing babies =)

*cough*

Caution...you might not want to read. You probably don't want to know. I had hoped I'd be feeling better by now. I've been sick for 14 days, but the last two have been really awful.And today is when we're celebrating Christmas. I've been so looking forward to it. And yet, if you could see me...
Its that kind of sick where you wear the same jammies for days on end even though you got some tomato soup on them. I keep taking steam showers and putting on the same thing. To be fair, I haven't got much that fits anymore anyway... I got up at 2:30am and read blogs, checked email, read news, took steam showers, googled colds, etc. Tried to sleep sitting up in our cushy chair downstairs, tried to sleep in bed, tried to sleep on the couch. Finally I must have fallen asleep during an episode of Monk I found on tivo.
I've gone through a few rolls of toilet paper blowing my nose, long since having gone through the nice kleenex that claims to not chap your nose. I've slept on and off today but I have 0 energy and now I've got to make myself look semi decent for those "I was pregnant at Christmas" pictures we're bound to take. Fat chance. My face is swollen, my eyes have dark circles and my nose is red and chapped.
I have so much to say about the new year. This year has been totally amazing, but I just can't be enthusiastic about it right now.

We interrupt the hacking to bring you a post

I am SICK and I am TIRED of it.
But...
Yesterday Dave and I exchanged Christmas gifts. He is so hard to shop for. He doesn't like gifts..and he doesn't like things. So every year I wrack my brain trying to find him something. Well, this year I got a baby backpack for hiking and walking and a new watch because his ten year old watch has been trying to die for a long time.
So, anway...it seemed like he liked them, but I'm never sure...until....
He comes in the room with the backpack on and test baby Zonk in it. Then, deciding that Zonk is too light he puts a 25 lb weight and tramps all over the house. He did that for quite some time last night. He practiced putting it on and taking it off. It warmed my heart. I almost cried. Except all of the liquids in me seemed to have congealed into mucus so I couldn't cry. TMI, I know. BUT DAMMIT I'M SICK!
I'm hoping to feel better tomorrow. Gonna clean the house if I do. I swear I am.

In the darkness there are miracles

I just saw a clip on tv about a mother in India who was just reunited with her 20 day old baby from the tsunami. The baby somehow managed to float on something for a long time until rescued. Is that not amazing? Has anyone also heard this story? I'm going to look for more on it later, but for now...I'm cookin' dinner.

We have an armoire

Its upstairs...and my three nerds did it! I thought they were going to overthink it and re-eingineer both the stairwell and the armoire.
To be fair one part of our stairs is too short for David and he has to duck his head...they're old, they curve funny ...But they did it! There's a small, but noticeable nick, that I refuse to be upset over. My mom's going to fix it.
And ...Liam's stuff is in it! And there's room to grow! and he has the most adorable things. I should really cut the tags off of them and put them in the wash in some ivory or dreft. The room is working out for a small room. I'm really happy about that.
Oh his stuff is so cute. Onesies are the cutest things..
I recently got one that says "Don't wake me..I'll wake you" goes well with the "I might barf" one. And then he's got cute winnie the pooh ones and then he's got ones with footballs or dogs or dragons and princes. He's got the CUTEST stuff.

Its raining like crazy here and the desert floods soooooo quickly. Its nuts out there. I've still got my blasted cold, but I'm hacking it all up so I should be better soon. TMI I know.
Maybe tomorrow I'll actually clean my house. I did shampoo the carpet where the armoire was going to go since it would be my only shot.

Me? Get things done?

Just so ya'll know....*I* am not getting much of anything done, except that which I have supervised from the couch. I am just fortunate to have a team of people who either want to shut me up or genuinely want to help I can't tell which. Probably a little of both.
I keep saying I'm going to do a lot...organize closets, etc.. but frankly I've done hardly anything m'self. David is even cooking for me.
I feel so heavy and unweildy. Walking is weird because it feels like there's a giant bowling ball bouncing in there. And there's a lot of pressure. Feels like he's going to fall out.
And then there's the pain after I pee. Still isn't gone. Still no one has any idea what that is but it lasts a good 30 minutes after I go.

In a few minutes they're gonna try and get the armoire upstairs. It will be funny. I should take pictures.All the men say it can't be done. That's what you get when you have men who think too much.

I'm so sad for the tsunami victims and my prayers go out to all the countries in the region. Its unbelievable.

The show that makes me cry

I cannot watch Extreme Makeover Home Edition without sobbing at the end. It is such an uplifting, sappy show. Its so funny that I can watch those 20/20 or 60 minutes specials about all the many people in the world who have heartwrenching stories in their lives, but it doesn't bring me to sob---but the makeover home show does. I guess perhaps it is because home is so very important to me and I know the difference that a welcoming, wonderful home can make in your life.
Speaking of home. We've gotten molding up around one door---one of my prized posessions an antique stained glass door. We've painted the nicks in the red living room walls. The door frames and doors need one more coat. The borders are up. The stairs are carpeted. The armoire is here (though it needs to find its way upstairs). Now its just carpet the back two rooms that's really weighing on me and as soon as that's done I can have a baby.
I wonder what they'll say at my next appointment....?

Dave is home tomorrow. WOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Christmas

Having David gone for Christmas was harder than I thought it would be. But, its been a nice day nonetheless. Last night I went to the 11 o'clock service at church with my parents and bro and sil. The communion stewards didn't show up, so they minister asked my parents to help with communion. So, on Christmas Eve, while I contimplated the birth of the Christ child and the birth of my own, I took communion from my mother and my minister. It was really special. I guess it wasn't good enough for my sister in law, though. She refused communion because she said it is "un-hygenic." Some of her quirks are left, but I have to tell you she's been a DELIGHT since before Thanksgiving. Anyway, the service was nice and the choir was fantastic and it was a nice night, even though Liam had wedged himself between bones where he didn't fit and I was in horrible pain. The bad part was that I was up until 1am. That is *so* past my bedtime and I'm afraid it left me a little cranky. I woke up cranky, too. I was a little terse with my parents when they called this morning and cried for a few hours. Then I took a nap. Then they picked me up, we went to see Polar Express and then drove around and looked at Christmas lights. Then I came home, turned on the tree and garlands at home, lit a peppermint candle and I think I'm going to bum around the house. I had a whole cleaning list I had intended to do today, but I'm not going to. I'll leave it for tomorrow. My parents are coming tomorrow to help finish the fixits. Liam's armoire is upside down in the living room awaiting Dave's arrival at home to help take it upstairs. Then a little more organization, some carpet in the back two rooms and a thorough scrubbing and I can have this baby.
While I was at the hospital Friday doing my pre-admission paperwork, there was a guy there who was talking to the girls at admissions. His wife just had a baby unexpectedly early. He said he was exhausted because he'd scrubbed every floor, washed every linen, changed all 1000 gallons of fish and turtle tank water in their home and ...get this...changed all the potted plants into fresh dirt. So, I guess I'm normal. I'm pretty sure I'll leave the plant dirt alone.
I talked to David a few minutes. He's working nocturnal shifts 6pm-6am so he's sleeping a good portion of the day, so I don't get much time to talk to him and I'm aching for him to come home. I'm used to him being gone twice a month, but I guess on Christmas it mattered. I kept thinking...we'll celebrate when the family is all together....its fine. But, know what? It isn't fine. I miss him and my heart was aching this morning.
But, next year.....next year we'll have a baby! It will be baby's first Christmas. How fun will that be!?

Houston we have carpeted stairs

They're done! They came at 4 again (supposed to be here at 12 noon) and finished my 8pm --so it pretty much wasted my whole day, BUT the stairs are carpeted and look great! Yay! I was so sick of looking at bare wood with staples in it.
Tomorrow is Christmas Eve. I expect I'll post a lot. I'm going to clean the house and hang out, maybe go do some shopping with my parents for lack of anything else to do and perhaps, *gasp* do some thesis research. But, a lot of it will be lonely without David here. I expect that while you are all absent from the blogosphere, I'll be here a lot ranting about nothing in particular. Christmas will be quiet as my brother and sil will also be gone so it will just be me and my folks. But, next week, after David gets home and my Nana comes, our holiday festivities will start. I can't wait! I love presents. I love receiving them, but what's more I love giving them and I'm just DYING to have people open my gifts.
Happy Christmas to all of you who aren't coming back for a few days.

I don't know what it is about us...

The carpet guys were supposed to come today to lay the carpet on the stairs. Around four they still hadn't gotten here. Then shortly thereafter, they did. They worked two hours, put in the tack strip and said they'd be back tomorrow for an 8 hour day. Grr. I had plans to go pick up my armoire at Babys R Us tomorrow. Babies R Us is an hour from here. Now I've got to send my brother and dad to Van Nuys to get the armoire because I have to stay home with carpet people for 8 hours. My mom has to come here all day because David doesn't want me alone with repair guys (which is odd, because, for some reason, I didn't want to be left alone with them either.)
Tonight, hopefully, we'll order the carpet for the back two rooms and hall. *sigh* I dread that project. Emptying out those rooms. How do people have their whole house recarpeted? Where do they put their stuff? I guess it will be as good a time as any to declutter, but I hate living with everything disrupted, so I hope the project goes FAST!
I went to the mall with my mom today to help her finish her Christmas shopping. It was nice, but I spent a little too much money on myself. First there was the stop at Bath and Body Works. You all know how THAT can go....
but I needed shea butter for my stretch marks. And then there was the buy three get one free thing...
And then we were walking past this kiosk where they were selling herb filled things you heat up in your microwave and put on aching muscles (what are those called?) anyway, a few years ago my dog ate the one I had so now I've only got a plastic one which I don't like so much. I also thought it would be a great present for my dad..so I stop by...they're ridiculously expensive. I turn to leave...he puts one on my shoulders and WHAM he made a sale.
I bought the complete set...shoulder one, back one, eye one and small sinus one. I packaged one for my dad for Christmas and kept the others for me. Am I terrible?
It seemed every where we went was something I needed. I need to stay away from the shops. I'm trying to save for a new couch for our family room (if we can find one skinny enough to go through the door!)
Can't wait to get the Armoire upstairs. That room has no closet, so Liam's stuff is in rubbermaid drawers. I would LOVE to get it all in somewhere and organized.
Oh! and someone on my expecting board posted today that her friend just gave birth to a girl when they thought he was a boy. WE ARE SO IN TROUBLE IF THAT HAPPENS. Actually, the baby stuff is pretty gender neutral...its the clothes that aren't. Of course we've got some a girl or boy could wear.
I started to panic and then I thought, well if it happens to us it will be funny and while I'm in the hospital my mom will run out to the shops and buy a ton of girl stuff, so I'm not too, too worried.
But, I think he's mama's little man in there. I really do.

Holy Moly!

I had my 34 week appointment today. It was amazing in that we went right in and didn't wait at all. No more 3-4 hours at the doctor's office.
Well, I've LOST 4lbs, which, if you have seen my stomach would make you laugh.
She said "You're measuring a little big"
Then, turning to my chart she says "I'm going to say a fetal weight estimate of 37-38 weeks"
pause
"we'll schedule an ultrasound to see how big the baby is"
So we go back in two weeks, I presume for the ultrasound and my weekly appointments to start but uhm...I think I'd better turn in the pre-admission form to the hospital and pack my labor bag.

A little revisiting

This morning as I lay in bed wondering how much bigger I'm going to get in the next month, because I can barely wrench myself up from bed now, I started thinking about when this all began. It doesn't seem like long ago. I remember distinctly. I was sitting right where I am now, at the computer, typing an entry on TTCAM with a pee-stick next to me. My hubby was in the shower. I checked the stick, it had two lines, I wrote an entry on TTCAM, which may have been gibberish, while I was screaming to my husband something along the lines of "HOLY SHIT! I'M PREGNANT!" and other things strung together. I remember how badly I was shaking. How incredibly happy and how unbelievably scared I was.
Here's the blog entry I wrote:
***
I'm shaking so hard. I took a pregnancy test this morning and it was positive. I cried and screamed and I'm so, so happy and so scared at the same time.So, now I'm going to pray that this is a sticky healthy one. A Beautiful February baby that shares its birth month with its parents.Dear Lord,Please hold fast to this little one in my belly. Please make its heart beat strong and let its growth be fast and healthy. Let this one make it to a healthy birth to be a child that we can raise and love for a lifetime. Please Lord, let this one stick. Amen.
***

We'll leave the neurotic ones to revisit for another time. I'm just so, so thankful that this one stuck.

Now if he'll just come out in the appropriate amount of time...long enough to breathe on his own and come home with mama and not one minute longer than that because really people I'd like to put my own shoes on, be able to bend over, sleep on my stomach and get myself off of the couch on my own! Oh, yeah, and being pregnant is killing me when shopping (at Christmas!)--I can only handle on shop at a time.

We've spent the weekend doing projects (well I've been gophering for project do-ers and sitting on the couch "supervising"---they're almost all done, though the house is torn up from it!!) I've also been sick with a cold. Yeah, that's fun, too.

Welcome to my Barn Raising

Today my parents and hubby and I are busting our butts to get a lot of the honey do's done. We're putting up light fixtures, tiling backsplashes, putting in baseboards, painting door frames, etc. I'm organizing closets and baking for them while they work hard. Then all we'll have to do is buy the remaining baby stuff, get the carpeting and Oh, yeah...hot water would be nice.
He came last night at 9pm to do the hot water heater--decided that it was too big a project for that late and said he'd be here today around 4. And its going to be more money. Yeesh. Almost a grand for a 40 gallon hot water heater when all is said and done. Yeah, the house knows we're having a baby and its jealous and its taking its revenge!

I'm damning myself for not keeping the homeowner warrenty that I had when I got the house. Dammit Dammit Dammit.

But the drive is too far...

So Home Depot ordered our hot water heater yesterday and contracted out to have it put in today. This morning the contractor called and he said he couldn't install our hot water heater. I'm assuming its on account of the long drive. He's in Illinois and we're in California.
Now we're waiting for Home Depot to find a different, let's assume, LOCAL contractor.

My doctor (well, one of the three in the office) called. She said that if the cramps come again and are persistant, I should go to labor and delivery as it could be pre-term labor. Yeah. thanks for calling me four days later to tell me that. She claims she couldn't call before because she couldn't get my extension at work. If she listened to what it says when you call, you can dial 0 and the operator will put you through. And, uhm, doesn't my chart have my HOME number?
I'm hoping it isn't pre-term labor. Any time after 36 weeks I'll be more than happy to have this baby, but not before. So, he's got to hang in there for two weeks and some change. Oh my God...did I just say that? TWO WEEKS?

Ready to travel. Err. Almost.

When I got home we set about making plans (really, I set about making plans...because like Katie I need a translator for husband-speak). Anyway. We'll carpet the two rooms and hall and it won't be the worst thing in the world. I had to find a different sofa because the one I want to buy won't fit through the doors. We figured out which hot water heater to get. I feel better once I have a PLAN (Carrie..you understand, dontcha?)
So we put together the travel system. And then our "test baby" took a test drive. Here he is in the carrier:


I'm still trying to master how all the aspects of the blasted thing works. How to buckle him in properly; how to snap it in the base properly; how to collapse the stroller. Just wait until I have to figure out how to belt the damn thing in the car. I've *almost* got it. I thought they were going to have to revoke my mother licsense because I thought I'd never get it. I don't know why it was so confusing to me.
I'm usually a black or navy kind of girl--but I've noticed most strollers are those colors. And also, with our 110F summer heat --it might not be the greatest idea. So, I succombed to the Graco Pooh. I'm obessed with Pooh, it seems. But, I think the whole thing is pretty darned cute.

No, Christine, there's no news (caution much whining to follow)

THEY STILL HAVEN'T RETURNED MY CALL!
I called a little while ago and said that it had been over 53 hours since I called with my concern about cramping and I'd like someone to call me back.
The good news is feeling better. Like hell I'm going to tell THEM that. And since the cramping has been coming, going and reappearing, I still would like to know what's going on.
I'd like to know that I am going to a practice that cares about me and my wellbeing, but it just doesn't look like it now does it? Is 33/34 weeks too late to change practitioners? Is anyone going to be better? everyone in town says this guy is the best in town. Well, great.
And then I went on the Feb EC board --a girl had cramps and back pain. She called. The nurse blew her off. She finally went to L&D--lo and behold--preterm labor started. She had to stay awhile so that they got the contractions started. I'm not saying that's going to happen to me, but I'd sure as hell like to rule it out.

And then...
The water heater up and died. There's a big-ass hole in the back of it.
The estimate for the refinishing of the wood floors in two rooms and one short hallway was 3x what we expected. We've decided since we've had a lot of other expenses (tivo died, our cordless phones died, we had new phone jacks put in, its Christmas, we're getting baby stuff, the damn water heater, carpet for the stairs....) we will probably just carpet those rooms. It will be expensive, but less than the floors would be. I'm going to miss my wood floors. But, while the other rooms have finished floors these rooms still have dangerous staples and nails in some places, paint spattered on them and some jagged edges that adults can steer clear of but babies can't be around.
Does the house know that we're having a baby that is going to suck up our money and its jealous so its retaliating?
IF I were still driving, the car would break down. I know it would.
So, rather than my list of to-do's dwindling it is getting longer and becoming stuff that will bring temporary chaos into the house. I wanted everything done by CHristmas so that I could relax through January--especially if he decides to come a few weeks early.
I'm hoping my mom and dad and hubby will pull through for me this weekend and get a lot done. I wish I were physically able to do more. I am soooo frustrated.

But, I did watch Mary Poppins yesterday in my new kickass glider and that put me in a relatively good mood for a little while =)

Grr

Well, I called at 9am this morning. They said the nurses had my messages and were waiting to see what the doctor wanted. Its now 5:13. They haven't called.
I took the day off of work and I'm just being lazy. My mom took me to a tea house for lunch to see if it would improve my mood. I tried, but it didn't work very well. I'm sore and angry. The cramps have mostly subsided...traded, it seems, for a horrible backache.
I have a feeling that my doctor's office could care less about me.

And I wait by the phone

The cramps are getting progressively worse and staying longer--like I've had them ALL DAMN DAY. The doctor didn't call me about my urinalysis, so I'm assuming it was clean. I called today at 10 and had to leave a message for the nurse, so I said that I was assuming the urine was clean and was wondering if the Dr had any other ideas about why I'm cramping in my abdomen. No reply. I called back at three and left a message saying that cramps at 33 weeks are really disconcerting and I'd like to figure out what's causing them if possible. blah blah blah. No reply. So, tomorrow, I'm asking to come in for an appointment and an actual EXAM and, if we need to, an ultrasound to see what the, well...you know ...is causing the pain.
If I don't get what I want, I'm going to labor and delivery and they'll make my doc come.
I'm cranky and sore and not sleeping well because of the pain. Damn them.

The Childbirth Class

We had our childbirth class today. We had to be there at 9am and it lasted until 4. We chose a one day class for a bunch of reasons. I dreaded going. I had nightmares. I'm glad we went. I learned one very important and essential thing. If I feel I need to be seen when my doctor's office is closed, I go straight to Labor and Delivery. Do not pass go. Do not sit in ER. Do not stop at the admissions desk. Go straight to Labor and Delivery. I think that is vital information. I had no clue, so I'm really, really glad to have it.
What was even better, though, was that this class focused on massage rather than all breathing. And as "practice" I got a great massage or two. She even had oils with her. The massage was great and Dave did an even better job than I imagined he would. I've also decided to try and go naturally with the birthball and the massage and breathing. But, I won't hesitate to ask for an epidural if I need one.
We watched several birth stories and births on video. At first I felt squeamish watching, but it got better. We also watched a video of a c-section and that made that a little less scary, too.
She gave us a booklet and David took notes. He likes checklists. They make him feel comfortable, so I bet he'll love having that in the labor room. I realised today that there will be no tiny little bag going with me to labor. I need the big one with wheels. I have to bring pillows, a cd player and cds, the birthball blah blah blah. No getting away with a robe, some snack and a pair of socks. I'm trying to figure out now what kind of music I want to take. I was thinking maybe lullabyes and The Cure. We all know how I love The Cure. Maybe some Sarah McLachlin, Norah Jones, Natalie Merchant stuff, too. The teacher had these meditative cds and they were nice, but I don't know. I think I need some ooomph in the music to get me through.
She said that at 36 weeks if you go into labor, you're going to have your baby. They won't stop it. So, that made me think that in 3.5 weeks, we could come home with a kid. I probably won't go early, but it makes the need for the stuff around here to be ready ever so much more real. 3.5 weeks is also before my baby shower, which is the 15th of Jan. I need to have a list for my mom of "emergency baby purchases" just in case I go into labor before my shower. If I don't get some of the things for the shower, I'm going to buy them myself...so I guess I'll need the list anyway.

Liam continues to squirm in there. He was really quiet through the whole class, only moving noticeably a few times. But, I relaxed and assumed he was sleeping from the massages and kept Fear at arm's length.

No news about the UTI. I called after they'd closed early on Friday. I'm assuming that the test came back clean. Doesn't explain the pain. Unfortunately I looked up UTI online and it said a lot about "fetal distress and mortality" so you can only imagine. But, I decided as long as he's still moving, we're good to go. I'm trying to flush my system out with water and cranberry juice. I laid down at 6pm last night and didn't do ANYTHING all night. I'm feeling better. I also noticed that the pain is mostly at night and not during the day, so I'm going to try to walk around a bit after going potty at night, see if that makes a difference. I will not freak out. I repeat. I will not freak out.

I'm now the proud owner of

• A bassinet
• A travel system
• A pack n play
• glider and ottoman

Long day. Many carts.

Also had 32 week appointment. Measuring right on target. Heart rate 140 (baby's--not mine). B/P fine. New nurse--dumb. As fencepost.

The doctor thinks I might have a bladder infection which is causing these cramps. They took lots of pee. We'll see what happens when they run that. Other than that all is well and I've got another appoitnment in two weeks.

Gather Round

My friend got me the best cd. Its called Gather Round:songs for kids and other folks. The first song is the Rainbow Connection--you know, the Kermit the Frog song. But its sung by Sarah McLachlin and its hauntingly beautiful. It also has a bunch of songs my dad used to sing to me. Puff the Magic Dragon, I know an old Lady who Swallowed a Fly, the Banana Boat song, The Lion sleeps tonight. I think Liam's enjoying it. He kicks a lot during The Lion Sleeps Tonight.
I cry through The Rainbow Connection, I can just imagine rocking Liam to sleep to it. Its awesomely beautiful.

In other news:
I was going to feed the troll. I wrote a whole response, but blogger wouldn't let me post it. I saved it, but I think I will save it for another time. I'll just use one part of it here. Emily: May you never have to face a day like she did where there was no choice, only pain. May your days be long, may they be safe. But should a day like that day be in your future, may no one, NO ONE, use your grief as a sword to slay the wound deeper in the name of God.
I doubt that was of any use. She will never see how hurtful she and Holly are. She will never understand compassion and God's love, so why should I bother?

And I have a troll

woohooo. I have a troll. Have I come into my own bloggerhood?

Just to clarify

Well, yes, I'm crying..but Stephanie's comment made me think about how I'm feeling and you know what? I'm not blue, I'm not sad. I have periods of being scared and nervous, but I'm not down or anything. My mood is great. Then I'll cry. Then I'll laugh about crying. Then I'll cry about laughing. Then I'll be great again.
Yesterday I was super-happy. It was my one year wedding anniversary. I still cried about dumb things. But its not sad crying. Its just crying. Does that make sense?

Still leaking

I am really having a bad time of it. My hormones seem to be totally and completely out of control. I cry at the drop of...well not just a hat, but because my hair is wet, I had to park in a different parking space, my sock is crooked. I cry. I cry. I cry. And when I'm not crying, tears seem to leak out anyway. And I feel like I'm narrowly close to a panic attack.
Cogntively I know that I'll be fine. I'm a well educated, competent person. I am sane and rational and I'll love this baby. I know that the moment they hand Liam to me, it will all be ok. I won't know what to do with him, but it will all be ok because I'll figure it out. So, if that's true and I know that's true what is wrong with me? Part of me thinks its just the hormones.

Blogger eats my posts

Yesterday I sat down and wrote a well written, witty and altogether fantabulous post. Felt like my old self. The words rolled off...well the tip of my fingers, I guess. And Blogger wouldn't post. It wouldn't do anything. And then, with one last swipe of its Blogger teeth, it ate it.
Trouble is that now I can't remember for the life of me what it was about.
Today was our anniversary, celebrated by going to Welcome Home Baby. We left the house with Zonk, the monster and up to the Family Resource Center at the hospital. We watched a few videos, practiced diapering and swaddling and did a question and answer session.
What we learned:
David is a much better swaddler than Kether. Kether cannot swaddle whatsoever. David has a perfect, neat baby burrito.
It was a mighty blow to my maternal instict ego.
Zonk is now wearing a diaper with elmo on it. I think he'll be in that for awhile.
I was really impressed, though. They gave us really nice black diaper bags filled full of stuff. The bag is great. I have a toile one, but I don't think David will really like having "french peasants" on his shoulder at the store, so I think we can keep two bags at the ready. This one looks easier to clean; it is a wipe clean sort of fabric. Mine is not.
But, mostly while I was sitting there, I felt my pulse start to pound and fear creep up. I'm going to have a baby. Soon. What am I doing?
I was reading the magazine "Getting to know your newborn" last night. After I put it down, I couldn't remember half of what it said. I started to freak out. I told Dave I was going to be a bad mother. He said "not much to it, you feed them, they grow." He learned that this weekend. This weekend at work he was crewed with two women. One pregnant, one with three kids. He comes home full of knowledge. Knowledge like, "We don't have to go to the hospital until you're seven centimeters which is this big" as he shows me how big seven centimeters. And another gem, "I'm going to cut your fingernails before you go into labor so that you don't hurt me."
I don't know if I should bless or hurt those women.

Husbands...

I told David that I found it. The most thoughtful gift he has ever given me. My bean bracelet. The thing that symbolizes both our loss and our hope.
he said...

"Now I have to find something else to get you for Christmas."

I'm rolling my eyes. Can you see me?

I found it!

I found it. OMG I am so happy.
I wish I had found it before I sifted through the trash and emptied all the closets, but I found it nonetheless.

Lions and Tigers and Gifts, Oh my!

Ok, there are no Lions and Tigers. Just gifts to be wrapped. I started wrapping today, but after three *small* packages my back hurt, so I'm taking a break. I'm going to have to do a little at a time.
I'm so irritated with Target. Because I'm trying to budget a whole bunch of stuff this holiday season...carpeting the stairs, buying big baby stuff, Christmas, regular life, etc, I wanted to pay for D's gifts with a target giftcard. Just easier that way and no cash money. What I want is NOT available in the store, of course, and there is a problem with target gift cards right now. They're inoperable. I've called several times this week. "They're working on it at the highest levels" they say, "we can charge your card and then refund your money in a week or so." Uhm, no, I'm using the card for big stuff like carpet and baby furniture. Damn you. Puts me in quite the Christmassy mood.
This morning was our annual Christmas parade, though. The parade route goes right in front of my house, so we've got a tradition where my mom comes over and I make breakfast and a tea tray and we sit on my front porch and watch the parade from there with the dogs playing in the yard. I have many sentimental attachments to that parade, including the fact that it makes for a very cool Christmas tradition with my carols playing from the house for the crowd outside. I watched the parade the morning of my big date with my husband, the day I met him. I see those pictures of my mom and I on the porch sipping tea and think that was the last moment my life was like that--it changed forever that night, because I knew that night that I had met the man I would marry.
Last year we missed the parade. It was the day I got married. Since I had a morning wedding (11 am), we had to get out of my neighborhood very early so as not to get blocked in by the parade.
this morning I had on my Minnie Mouse santa Hat, had John Denver and the Muppets Christmas album playing and some yummy hot tea. It was a nice morning.
My hubby is gone until tomorrow, so that means I've got twenty four hours to clean up the DISASTER that I have created in the house. I was in a frenzy. I've been in a frenzy a few weeks. Remember that wonderful bracelet my hubby got me on the due date of our angel? The one with a bean shaped charm made of mother of pearl? I've lost it. I've looked frickin' everywhere. He doesn't seem to be upset about it, but I'm devestated. It has GOT to be somewhere. I've been crawling around,ripping stuff off shelves. I'm so, so upset. maybe he's right, maybe it will turn up. I can't believe I've gone and lost it.
But, I've kept the bean safe inside me. I should get credit for that. Though I think that was God's work and not mine.
and I've had one more minute, one more hour, one more day.

PS. Had several GREAT days with my SIL---she's being WONDERFUL and I'm so thankful. I'm really enjoying her.

I'm a thief

I was just over at Infertile Me for the first time and saw this and couldn't believe it. I loved this ad. It almost made me cry. Well, who am I kidding, I did cry---but my face is leaking all the time so I can't tell if it was the ad or not.
Anyway, here it is. A fantastic ad. I think even if you aren't Christian, you can appreciate this message. But, as I learned over at Infertile Me, CBS isn't going to air it because its too controversial. What? Inclusion is too controversial? Blah. This world is crazy. As many of you who read this blog know,I'm Christian (though truth be told I really don't like that word. It has all these weird bible thumping, judgemental connotations these days. But, I guess the only way we can combat that imagine is for the normal of us to balance it out). Anyway, nothing makes me more mad than when Christians (or really followers of any religion) try to do God's job for Him (like Holly did on Cecily's blog after she lost her babies. It was horrifying). Judgement isn't my job. And I really don't think I've been directed to hate people for who they are either. I'm pretty sure God doesn't.
So more power to you United Church of Christ. I hope your ad gets out there and I hope that it sends a message that we aren't all gay bashing bigots.
God Bless Ya'll.

And the registry is started

Went to Target after work to start my target registry. Going to do the Babies R Us one on Sunday. Ugh. Walking around target damn near killed me. It was like fire and pressure in my groin area (I know its too much information, but its too much for me dammit! I had to share). Is he low and pushing on my pelvis? is this normal? It HURTS to walk around too much.
Oh, and hormones have found me again. I've sobbed several times this week and when I'm not sobbing, my face just seems to leak. I can't stop it. It just keeps trickling down my face.
I'm having a bad pregnancy week, can you tell?
I'm sorry to whine. And I love Liam and I'm soooooooooo thankful. And it is truly all worth it. But, it does make it better to bitch just a little =)

I got a little out of control there

Blogger wouldn't post and I left it trying all night. Didn't realise I did, but I fell asleep. I guess it posted several times for me. I missed all my shows yesterday because I kept forgetting to change the channel and then I kept falling asleep. Tivo makes you lazy.
The palm pilot is tentatively working. The cordless phone is freaking out now. I must have a poltergeist who hates technology; I've had to switch to a regular old phone plugged into the wall.
GRR.
David is gone this weekend. Wonder what I'll get done?

Another one bites the dust...

My palm pilot is dead. I took it off the charger this morning. I got to work, it beeped at me for something, I turned the alarm off. Now its dead. I've put it back on the charger, but I'm staring to think Liam is zapping everything that makes my life easier. There's some sort of technological vortex in our house.

Another one bites the dust...

My palm pilot is dead. I took it off the charger this morning. I got to work, it beeped at me for something, I turned the alarm off. Now its dead. I've put it back on the charger, but I'm staring to think Liam is zapping everything that makes my life easier. There's some sort of technological vortex in our house.

Another one bites the dust...

My palm pilot is dead. I took it off the charger this morning. I got to work, it beeped at me for something, I turned the alarm off. Now its dead. I've put it back on the charger, but I'm staring to think Liam is zapping everything that makes my life easier. There's some sort of technological vortex in our house.

Thanks Jen!

I've got a blogroll thanks to Jen. It took me forever to figure out where to put it in the template, but I finally got it. I guess I really like Christine, 'cause apparantly I put her on there twice. =)
If you're not there, please don't be offended! I just did a few in case I did it wrong. I'll update it soon.

Damn flippin post went *poof*

Just disappeared. Lemme see if I can remember.
I can't think. I am not as clearheaded as I used to be; I am groggy and tired; my lower abdomen hurts; my pelvis hurts; when I stand up, I feel like I have to pee immediately, but when I go sometimes its just a trickle; If I'm up and about a lot during the day and then go shopping, I have to sit on a heating pad for the rest of the night; Yesterday a girl who sees me every day said, "Until today I couldn't tell you were pregnant" How friggin depressing is that?
I was busy this morning inbetween stuff around here (GAD! Do they think I WORK here or something? I mean, I know its the end of the semester and they need me to do stuff, but GEEZ I'm trying to get some PERSONAL things done!) where was I? Oh, yes, in between work interruptions, I was busy trying to find a pediatrician. Not an easy feat. I finally called my OB and asked for a recommendation. We've got a prenatal consulation with him on the 3rd of Jan. Anyone got any ideas of what I should ask him? Is asking him to move in with us too forward?

Funny, I came here to post about how happy blogland has seemed lately. Grrrl had awesome news. A bat came into the world. My TTCAM and FF sistas seem to all be doing well. Now if only that good blogland karma can follow Toni and Mia, I shall be very, nearly, perfectly happy. Mia's gotta get well, we miss her! And Toni, my fingers are crossed for you--I hope this cycle goes well and isn't cancelled. I wish I understood the process more so I knew specifically what is good and bad. I'm mustering up tons of prayers for you. Good luck!
It isn't too long before we're going to start having a long stream of birth stories around here. I think we're all well spaced enough that we should have quite a steady stream of them.
I am starting to freak out about the actual labor part ---oh! and not to forget the being-a-mom part. I've read all of this stuff throughout the pregnancy, but its just seeming so *REAL* now that I'm two months away (two months from today, if you're counting--that means less than two months tomorrow). All of a sudden I've got pediatricians to pick, breathing during labor to figure out, pre-admission to the hospital to do, oh, yes, and let's not forget the pushing a child out of a very small place part.
The other day we were in bed reading a magazine called Lamaze parents or something. Some kind of propoganda my doctor gave us when I was 8 weeks and only thinking about seeing heartbeat and not much beyond that. Well, the parts I'm reading for me are about "embracing the pain" and "bearing down" and how that somehow makes me one with the universe. Blah Blah Blah
We get to the birthing coach section:
Magazine: "be sure you eat the snacks you brought"
David: "Oh! those are for me? We have to make sure we pack them, then."
Magazine: "All the focus will be on the birthing mother, don't forget yourself. Take time to sit and relax"
David: "Don't have to ask me twice."

You can see how this went. You can also see, maybe, why I was tempted to kill him with papercuts compliments of Lamaze Parents.

Am I that horrible for not wanting to embrace the pain?

3 years ago today

I met my husband. I knew that day that my life was changed forever. I knew I had found that other piece of me. We have been happy since that December day--and happier every day that passes.
Next Monday is our wedding anniversary, but I think I like this one better. This one where I knew that I would never be alone again because I found something I didn't think even existed.

I love you David and today I am a very, very, happy girl.

Lovesong - The Cure

  Whenever I'm alone with you

 You make me feel like I am home again

 Whenever I'm alone with you

 You make me feel like I am whole again



 Whenever I'm alone with you

 You make me feel like I am young again

 Whenever I'm alone with you

 You make me feel like I am fun again



 However far away

 I will always love you

 However long I stay

 I will always love you

 Whatever words I say

 I will always love you



 I will always love you



 Whenever I'm alone with you

 You make me feel like I am free again

 Whenever I'm alone with you

 You make me feel like I am clean again



 However far away

 I will always love you

 However long I stay

 I will always love you

 Whatever words I say

 I will always love you



 I will always love you

Can the day get worse?

Our tivo died. Dead. Dead. Dead. I called their tech support (by the way, super helpful people. Right on tivo. Good training). When we finally decide that it is dead the guy on the phone says, in the most serious of tones, "I know how hard it is to hear news like this over the phone."
And in all seriousness, almost choking back tears, I said, "I know."
So, now we're looking at exchanging it or buying a new unit altogether. I'm so upset. Truly beyond how upset I should be. I didn't even get a chance to say goodbye.
So then I find out that our "Welcome Home Baby" class has been changed. It was supposed to be Wednesday. When is it now? 6:30pm on our anniversary, which is Monday. And we're to "bring a doll or a stuffed animal to practice on." I'm bringing Zonk the monster. Zonk sends a message. Zonk says, stay away from us, we might be crazy--we don't want to bond or role play. I know I need the class because I do not know what to do with a baby, but I'm just not so good in those public settings where they make you all become friends and build trust in the group.
But really, the worst part is that I did not sleep well last night at all. I was in horrible, miserable pain. First of all, I think from the cold, my hips and pelvis hurt. I mean hurt. Hurt to move at all.Then, the bottom half of my uterus hurt. I know this may sound stupid, but I just couldn't determine if they were cramps or just pain. It felt kind of like I do with PMS. Kind of. And, what should happen when I'm in all this pain? Liam decides a kick fest at the point of pain is in order. Middle of the night or not. Finally I propped myself up to a sitting position with pillows and turned on the heating pad. I finally was comfortable and I woke up with that pain gone. (there is still pain in my lower back but I just think that's big, fat pregnancy pain that won't go away until I shove this kid out of my nether regions.). I contemplated waking Dave up and making him take me to the hospital. But, I just kept imagining myself in this horrid pain sitting uncomfortably in the waiting room chairs next to people with odd communicable diseases and the guy with a knife in his eye and decided that it might be better to wait at home and see if it went away. Thankfully it did. I don't want to see the guy with the knife in his eye.
I have a doctor's appointment next Thursday, so I'm going to mention it then, presuming it doesn't happen again. If it does, I might just go to the ER blindfolded with a can of Lysol.

Here 'tis

http://www.avpress.com/n/susty6.hts

Well, its in the paper

I haven't seen it yet, but my mom called and read it to me and my best friend from highschool emailed me already. Its a good story EXCEPT, the picture of me is AWFUL (so says my mom and I knew it would be) and it said "four room house" instead of "four bedroom house" which is bothering me.
I think the title was something like "Generation X'er at home in 1920s house"
More when I read it.

Holidays

I always love the holidays, but this year I seem to be infused with spirit. Maybe part of it is that I kind of missed out on the holiday season last year. My wedding was Dec. 6, so we had a Christmas tree at the ceremony and reception, but after that we left for Portugal and Spain and came home Christmas Eve. Its not that Portugal and Spain weren't decorated for Christmas, because they were...far more than my town ever is. There were themed Christmas lights over every street every few hundred yards or so (or even less), there were Christmas carols and there were huge nativities in the middle of the squares. But it wasn't home--I missed out on almost all of the hustle and bustle and excitement at home.
Then there's the added excitement of being pregnant and being in my eighth month for Christmas. Getting close to the due date seems like one prolonged Christmas eve!
And then, of course, everywhere I go--and everything I do--for Christmas reminds me that next year I'll be a mother and have a kid at Christmas. Say what you might, but I think Christmas is always more exciting with kids around. I can't wait! Its changed what I'm buying as decorations this year (every year I add a little more). The tree in my living room is always a Victorian themed tree, but next year I'm going to add one in our family room that will be all bright Christmas colors and more "santa's workshop" style. I got some new placemats for the dining room and instead of fancy ones, I got quilted ones with reigndeer on them. Suddenly snowmen are irresistable.
I can't believe I didn't used to want to be married and a mom. If I described my life now to a former me, I would be agast and who and what I am. I wouldn't believe that scrapbooking and popular tv shows bring me happiness. I wouldn't believe that a nice warm quilt, a fire and some cocoa would be a great night at home for me--or that looking out the window watching my husband mow the grass brings me joy. I wouldn't believe that one of the things that has made me the happiest in life has been being somone's wife--and *gasp* cooking for him. I wouldn't believe that the thing I want most in life is to be someone else's mom. But you know what? I think this domestic wife has been hidden deep inside me for a long time--I think it has always been my innermost wish. I think I was made to be someone's wife and someone's mom. I can't believe I was worried about David moving in after we got married--I'd lived alone from 19-30 (a month and a half from 31!). I thought the house might feel cramped with two of us. These days it seems to ache for more voices, more feet, more hearts.
and those voices and feet and hearts are coming...

*yawn*

A great night. Great dinner. Great SIL. I mean really great. We had a fantastic night and so much fun playing trivial pursuit. I'm tired. G'nite.

Yeah. when will I learn?

Ugh my round ligaments hurt! Too much standing and cooking. Despite the pain, I'm really enjoying the day. The tree is up, the table is set, the stuffing is ready to go in the oven as is my baked mashed potato casserole. I have to roll out the dough for the sweet potato rolls and cut them out and let them rise and THEN I'm going to light a fire in the fireplace, swiffer sweep+vac the kitchen floor and collapse on the couch. Tomorrow is serious sitting-on-my-butt time! I don't think I'll lift a single, solitary finger tomorrow.
I stamped some cardstock and wrote my thank-you letters and put them on the plates with the silverware on top tied with ribbon. I had to cram the table and leave off part of my centerpiece and the beaded goblets I made. With six people at my tiny round table, I just couldn't make everything work. *sigh*
Oh! and when I decorated the tree this morning, I put on my "bride's tree" ornaments that I got for my wedding last year. They're from Germany and they're blown glass; each ornament has a special meaning. I'm terrified something will happen to them as they're something I'd like to have all my life. I really twisted their wire hangers on the branches!

I've brushed off the flour and barely brushed my hair

at 11pm, after an evening of baking for Thanksgiving...here I am at 30 weeks!

What's cookin?

I've got two pies in the oven and just finished making some peanut butter fudge. The mantle is decorated for Christmas, the tree is up and the coffee table has Christmas decor on it, too. I always decorate for Christmas on Thanksgiving. I don't know why. Perhaps it is because I always go to my parents' house on the day after Thanksgiving to decorate their 12 ft tree; perhaps the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade puts me in a Christmas mood; Perhaps its just because my red living room looks so good with Christmas decorations. Tomorrow after I get the turkey in the oven, while I watch the parade, I'm going to decorate the tree. Then I'll spend the day scrapbooking, and writing a letter to each of my family members to say why I'm thankful for them and cooking until my family gets here--hopefully all six of us will be here. My SIL finally said she'd come. We'll see tomorrow. I'm so happy that our family is growing (albeit slowly). It was so dreadfully small for so long.
In an hour or so I'm going to take my 30 week belly shot. I'll post before I go to bed.

The Thanks in Thanksgiving

I love Thanksgiving. I love everything about it. I love getting up early and cooking the Turkey. I love cramming my oven full of food upon food. I love putting up my Christmas tree. I love the Macy's Thanksgiving day parade. I love setting the table. And I love having the opportunity to tell my loved ones how truly Thankful I am to have them in my life. Because I really am a very, very lucky girl.
Over the past few months since I've been obviously pregnant I have felt increasingly uncomfortable at work. Since I work at a community college, with a remedial population, many of our students come from such lives of chaos. There are 'baby daddies' but no husbands (sometimes several different baby daddies), there are several families living together, there are no health plans, savings accounts, mortgages, college degrees. There is chaos. Fighting. Fear. I feel guilty sometimes when they want to talk about my baby because I have such a foreign life to them. I've had the same full time job since I was 24. I've owned my home since I was 25. I have finished my graduate coursework (we are not going to say the word thesis). I waited until I was 30 to get married and 31 to get pregnant. I am really very, very lucky. I know that a lot of that is attributable to good decisions I have made in my life, but I can't help feel the gap between how much easier my life is than theirs are. It has really made me very thankful.
The miscarriage jolted me out of that. And yet, four months after the miscarriage I got Liam. And he stuck. and I am so very, very Thankful for that. Thankful for every day that passes.
And I am thankful for my sistas. This post miscarriage pregnancy has been the scariest thing I've ever done. Some days I thought it was really going to push me over the edge. I didn't know how Joy could ever come-how I would ever be able to corral my fear enough to be a good host to my growing child. Sometimes I felt my emotions were spinning out of control and that I was the only one who could possibly feel this way and then you were there to say that you understood. More than that, though, you let me in to your lives to share your own stories. That pulled me out of mine and into a bigger world--a world where sorrow and joy and fear and all of the stuff that is real in the world co-exists. I have come to care so greatly about what happens in your lives. I have prayed for blood draws and scans and cycles and triggers and angel babies and job interviews and surgeries, etc. I have felt connected in a way I haven't felt before--connected by such a common cause, brought together by pain and by joy. I love you all for the difference you have made in my life. I hope that each of you has felt the same from our little circle; our group of friends with a reality unlike the reality others experience. I hope that all of you have found a home here. And I hope that this year brings you Joy. You all deserve it.

I am 30 weeks today. the day before Thanksgiving. For some reason 30 weeks has always stood out in my head as a major milestone. I don't know if its the ticker or the Thanksgiving that has brought this swell to my heart, but I know that tomorrow will be a very special day, indeed.

Happy Thanksgiving!

30 weeks. OMG

I can't believe the ticker has ticked to 30 weeks. I'm stunned. Shocked. And very, very grateful.
I have so much that I want to say--so much that has been rolling around in my head, but right now all that I can think is 30, 30, 30. So I'll be back later, hopefully with all my thoughts chained together.
I'm feeling a tad better. Thanks ya'll for your well wishes. I think I might have been over tired.

Damn cold. Damn

I have the worst sinus headache and the screen is blurry and I think I just might be getting sick. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Thanksgiving is two days away and I love thanksgiving and I want to put up my Christmas tree and sing Christmas carols and take beautiful pictures and drink eggnog and hot apple cider and have a happy thanksgiving with lots of food and family game night.

Go away cold. Go away. You are NOT wanted here.

Reporter has left the building

The photographer came and took a picture of me from my fence with the house behind me. The reporter came a bit later to look around and ask some questions. The reporter loved the house. I gave her a tour of half of it. The dogs were locked in one room and upstairs we've got a half nursery/ half storage room (its got my dh's portable closet, etc that I've got to find a new home for!) that is my project for next weekend, so I didn't drag her up there. But she saw the living room, dining room, kitchen, office and bathroom.She said she loved it. She seemed particularly impressed by all the color in the rooms and the wood floors. (ha! they *really* need to be refinished). She said it reminded me of houses in Pasedena, CA (which is where I always say I'd live if I didn't live here). She asked how much I bought the house for, how much it is worth now, how much I've done to change the house, what I know about the neighborhood, what I'd like to see happen in the neighborhood, etc. I thought it went well and she is going to do some research about the neighborhood and find out its history. The only historical thing I know is that Judy Garland lived on the next block of my street when she started performing at the movie house before the shows (at age six or seven??).I was so relieved I'd been able to get the office back together and the living room dusted and vacuumed before she got here.I actually had time to have some brownies and watch a little tv before she got here.I'm anxious to see how the story comes out. I really hope it encourages people to consider moving downtown.
After she left I made a lasagna as Dave has been asking for one and he went to the store and got all the right cheeses for it. So, that will be done in an hour. After we eat, I'm going to bed! I'm exhausted from the office project this weekend. I am not going to take on anymore huge, deadline projects like moving an entire room full of crap. Except that I am because I intend to get the floors refinished in the office, sunroom and hallway before the baby comes. Good thing I already went through all my crap. It will take a lot less time to move it then. But I'm also going to make people help. Hopefully it will be in late December and I'll be huge and have all kinds of excuses. Speaking of which, I'll take a belly pic tomorrow. The last one before I cross 30 weeks.
30 weeks. OMG. I can't believe I've gotten this far. I'm so, so lucky.

We interrupt the waiting to bring you my wedding boquet

My mom and Nana had my wedding boquet freeze-dried and framed. I thought I'd show ya'll what it looks like in my living room.

Waiting and waiting

The reporter will be here in an hour or so. I don't know if I'm ready. I've got my notes of what I really wanted to be included in the article and some addresses for houses that I think they should look at.
I put Christmas snow on the front windows and the wreath up on the door. I didn't get a chance to put our Christmas tree up. The office project was far more than I'd anticipated it would be. I had to get EVERYTHING out of here...all the funiture, books, and just plain stuff. Then my mom painted it. But, I couldn't go in on account of the heinous paint fumes (still they're a bit much.) and the house was completely taken up by the stuff from this room. So, I went through all of it, getting rid of a good portion of stuff and I've got a box of books waiting for the Salvation Army who will be here Friday. Then last night and today I had to put everything back and then clean the living room and dining room and hose down the porch. We didn't do baseboard, we didn't tile. But, you know what? Its ok. She can take pictures of what she will. And then I'll send her off down the stree to the other two houses that I love!
I will be glad when this is over and very excited to have my 15 minutes--whatever they may be. I will also sleep for three days when this is over.

Operation OMG starts now

Photographer and Reporter are coming Monday. Tomorrow mom is going to paint and the rest of us are going to do baseboard, tile the backsplash in the kitchen, and finish the half-done living room border and then scrub the front porch, etc. Dunno how much I'll be around. I'm both excited and nervous about Monday and my belly is stretching as we speak and boy does it feel like it is going to tear!

When the hubby gets home, he's got work to do.

D is gone until Saturday, but then he'll have a blitz of things to do...
We're going to have all the furniture from the computer room in the living room since we're painting and re-doing that room. But, we're going to have to get it back together quickly, and then do some trimming on the lawn and sweeping of the drive, and, depending on what this woman says tomorrow, maybe some installation of baseboard and quickly tiling our backsplash in the kitchen.
I got the following email today:
Hi Kether,

Thank you for your reply. I'd like to set something up for the early part of next week, if we can. We'd also like to get some photos, perhaps of your house and any neighbors you know who might want to be included. I'll call you tomorrow morning. Thank you again for your response.

Regards,
Julie

You see, in May I sent an email to the paper's editor with a story idea about how people are moving into the older neighborhoods of town and fixing up the houses like mine. (not that we're anywhere near done, you understand). We live in a fairly new city. People didn't really start moving here from Los Angeles until the early 80s--so most of the city is relatively new tract homes. A lot of the city is brand new tract homes. Huge, monsterous (to me) 2500 sq ft+ homes (I know you all probably all live in big houses like that, but I've got a tiny 1475sq ft home). The older parts have, well, deteriorated. But, in my neighborhood people are very slowly buying and fixing up. I want more people to do that so Liam has better neighbors. Hence, my email.
Hadn't heard anything for MONTHS, and frankly, I'd forgotten I'd sent the email. Now she might want photos! Ugh! Got to get busy. At least we painted this summer.

29 week update

29 weeks 1 day. The ticker is starting to scare me.
Well, I went for my checkup today. I've only gained four pounds this last month, which I think brings my whole total up to 10--thank God. When you start out fluffy, you don't want to add more than you have to...and yet I've been ravenously hungry.
Blood pressue 124/72 and the embarassing part:
I couldn't pee in the cup.
I squeezed. I leaned forward. I prayed. Nothing. Not a damn drop.
I waited awhile and tried again. Nothing. I tried at the end of the appointment. Nothing.
That has NEVER happened. I can pee on command usually. I have been peeing routinely every 45 minutes at work--such that its become a topic of discussion and "witty" remarks.
I have another appointment in 3 weeks--at 32 weeks. Then one after that at 34 and then I have them every week, I guess.
oh! and we're going to a 1 day birthing class on December 11. I was going to do the weeks of Lamaze, but I've been reading people's descriptions of going and egad, I just can't stomach the roleplaying and "bonding" --besides, I don't think I'm the type to control the pain with breathing. I'm just not.
When David dropped me off at work after the appoitnment I had to pee like a racehorse.

I guess I think my child is going to live in the filing cabinet

The organizing bug still has me. I came home sick, but laying down is not so comfortable--so what did I do? I spent the afternoon going through my files. I had one box of paper that needed to be gone through and after I did that I went through a whole drawer of my two drawer filing cabinet. I'm now down to one drawer of files and its completely gone through. I filled the shredder four times and I've got a yard size trash bag of trash.
I'm trying to go through everything in our office because my mom is coming to paint it Friday and we've got to get the furniture out so that she can do that. Then she and I will put everything back. I will be really happy when this room is in better order and a better color and completely painted.
I'm still sticking to flylady's plan and I'm even working on the "control journal" that she recommends. I'd like the running of this house to be smooth as can be when the baby comes. I'm afraid I won't have time to think then. And I don't want things to get out of control--especially since I'll have a lot of people in and out of the house to see the baby, I'm sure.
I emailed our payroll department today to see how I'm doing on leave for when the baby comes.
I have to use my sick and vacation and then I have some dock days (since I'm only an 11month employee, I take 22 unpaid days off a year--whenever I want to take them) I thought I was going to have to take a significant portion of unpaid days for my maternity leave, but it turns out that I've got 5.5 weeks of sick leave--will probably have 6 when the time comes. So I will probably be able to take 9 weeks or so...three unpaid 6 paid. Much better scenario than I thought.

I forgot to say...

My feet and I are no longer on speaking terms, it seems. I cannot get to them at all. When D wasn't here last weekend, it took me over 25 minutes to put my socks on. I have to have someone do it for me now. Its a sad, sad day.
I feel like Alice in Wonderland when she gets so tall and she sends a letter to her feet. Only My problem is not that I'm tall--its this giant bump in front. Which, by the way, got in the way today....only I didn't know.
I was giving a workshop for some students and writing on the whiteboard and when I came away from the class there was a solid dry erase marker line on the middle of my tummy bump. I guess the bump was erasing as I was writing.

My camera is here!

I am so excited. I'm going to do a whole roll of random pictures of our dogs, things in our house, etc. I will annoy any and all that stand in my way. Even the walls will tire of me.
So, yesterday I made my centerpiece for Thanksgiving (put a pillar candle in a hurricane vase suspended in acrylic water and then dropped tiny flowers in around it..also suspended in water) and then hot glued some beaded fringe to some cheap wine glasses. I'm getting ready to do the placecards and then I always write a card about why I'm thankful for each person. Its going to be a small Thanksgiving--four if bro and sil don't come, but still, I'd like to know if they're coming so I can do those things for them, too. I told my brother that today and his response was, "Then just don't do those things and then you won't have to worry about whether we show up." I told him to RSVP by tomorrow. If they want to have Thanksgiving at home or go to his FILs house it is no big deal. Just tell people. Grr. $20 says they show up in the middle of dinner with fast food again. Then I'll nail them to the wall by their ears. Uhm, I mean I'll get out two extra chairs and welcome them into my home.
In a few weeks I'm going to go get my pack n play, glider, travel system and bassinet. Dave is gone this weekend, so I won't be doing it then and the next weekend is The gluttonous Thanksgiving shop-o-rama---which usually I like to engage in, but just not at 30weeks pg. So, the weekend after should be a good time for it.
And then it will be the "little" things to buy. Lots and lots of stuff that I haven't thought about yet because it isn't fun stuff. Of course all the things that we NEED. As opposed to the 15 odd hats with ears on them that I haven't been able to resist. Money well spent, that.
Doctor's appointment is Thursday. Don't think its an exciting one. I guess at this point the "exciting" ones are the ones that scare the shit out of you, so that's not the route I'd like to go. Plain old ordinary run of the mill will be fine for me for the next ten weeks. Thank you very much.

Just some stuff

My parents and Nana got back from Solvang, CA yesterday. We went over to my parents house for pizza and game night and got showered with gifts for Liam. My Nana got him this dog that you pick out and stuff yourself and deep inside it you tuck a wish (you choose a small star, make a wish and put it in this pocket) and then a guardian angel to watch the baby when his mommy and daddy aren't in the room. It is such a cute idea. She named the dog Kita like her dog when she was a little girl.
They also got a growth chart wall hanging and it has pockets to put a picture of him at each stage. Also way cute. And some other stuff. I'm getting more pregnant by the day and more excited and more nervous that nothing is done. I keep seeing that ticker inch its way toward the number 30 and can't believe my eyes. A week and two days and I'll be 30 weeks pregnant. I'm simply stunned about that.
Our appointment was changed from Tuesday to Thursday. I have a feeling that our appointment was interfering with a golf game, but I suppose that isn't the most charitable of accusations. After Thursday my appointments go to every two weeks. My how time flies.
Now to get ready for Thanksgiving and Christmas.
Oh, and here's one that will give you a laugh. I have been asking my brother and asking him are you guys coming to our house for Thanksgiving, your father in law's house or doing your own thing? He has no answer. I asked them last night at my mom's and my sister in law's classic answer was, "We should do it at my house."
They do that so often. I'll call and say, "Hey, I'm having people over for pizza and game night. Do you want to come?" and they'll say, "Yeah, but let's do it at our house."
I cannot get them to understand that if they want to host something ...that's great. But they have to think of it FIRST and invite people FIRST. Not after someone else has planned something. It is very hurtful to invite someone to your house for something and have them suggest their house instead.
And I don' t think they realise how far in advance people plan things like Thanksgiving.
I really didn't mean for this to become another rant about them...yeesh. Sorry.

Mmm Yummy dinner

I feel good today. I think I've relaxed off the stress of yesterday. I slept in, watched some tv, went to a movie with my hubby and made and ate a good dinner (chicken in a mushroom soup/parmasean cheese sauce and a sweet corn casserole.). It was nice, warm, comfort food.
I thought I'd clean the house today and scrapbook some, but I didn't. I did start in on my Thanksgiving plans, though. I love any big eating holiday. I love to cook and I LOVE to set the table. I've been spending hours thinking of what I want to do for a centerpiece and if I wantto get some new table linens. I've been making a list and checking it twice for what I want to cook. I invited my brother and sil but, as they do every year, they said they won't know if they're coming until the day before or the day of. That makes me so mad and SOMEDAY I'm going to stop inviting them. It makes a difference if they're coming. They're picky eaters with so many dietary restrictions ...and since I do cool place settings I'd like to know how many to set. But, no, they never tell me. Last year they showed up after saying they weren't coming. They brought Jack in the Box food with them. Half way into our dinner. It was nice to have them as we had a blast playing games afterward, which is our tradition, but geez. And they sat at my pretty table surrounded by food I'd spent hours on ...with their fast food bags on the table and their fast food wrappings...
Wow...I didn't know this post was going to go *there* I guess I haven't let that one go. I'm going to stop now..

In the mail today came one of my favorite things for Liam.I saw this on the cruise and didn't buy it. Mom found it online and got it and had it sent.
His name is Zonk:

Camera Obscura

I've decided to try and become a better photographer. Right now I only have an inexpensive APX camera and two really inexpensive digital cameras. While I love the digital because I can upload easily, don't need to bring rolls of film with me, etc--it doesn't get the quality of pictures I'd like.
So, I went on ebay thinking I'd like a real 35mm. I guess what I was really looking for is an SLR camera, didn't know that at the time. Anyway, I found a new, out of the box Olympus IS 20 QD SLR, which I got for $85--appears to be a fairly good deal (although it hasn't arrived yet) online it appears that they sell new for $310.
So, no I'm perusing the internet for information on SLR cameras, film speeds, apertures, etc. All stuff I know NOTHING about. Its a lot of work. But I want really good pictures of Liam!!
I guess, though, if I'm the only one learning there will be good pictures of everyone but me =)

Anyone have any photography advice?

Definitely our child!

Our baby loves the Cure. I've got the cd player on random. In it is (hey now, don't laugh at me...) Counting Crows, Natalie Merchant, the best of Men at Work, a local LA band called Vertigo Road and the Cure.
He kicks and kicks and kicks for all the Cure songs.
Come to think of it, he was probably conceived to the Cure..
I cannot hear the Cure without thinking of my husband. We put the crib together listening to it. Its "our" band. I know you really wanted to know that.

Sunday night..all alone..poor me

Actually it hasn't been too bad being by me onesies this weekend. I went to church with my parents and my little man inside me was kicking away at the music. My mom spent most of the service with her hand on my belly--she's been aching to feel a kick and got plenty of them in church. It was wonderful to see her face the first time she felt it.
After church I went to Walmart and splurged on a jewelry armoire. I have tons of accessories and jewelry...nothing worth anything..all costume, but still I love it. But, I had no really good way of organizing it. Now its all in one place and everything has a place and hopefully it won't start to stack up in the living room where I take it off when I get home from work.
I'm going through all my purses and shoes now. *sigh* its hard to part with some of them. I feel like they're old friends! But there is only so much house here and I want it to be easy to keep up with when the baby comes--so some stuff has to go!
I also did a bit of scrapbooking. I am soooo behind. I did two pages in the baby's album of daddy Dave putting together the crib and then one page of the gala we went to in September. Its a pity Dave won't be home tomorrow night because I really like to scrapbook during Monday night Football. I'm tivoing the game for him because he won't be home until 10:30, but watching it alone and scrapbooking would just be sad. I don't understand football at all.
I don't feel like going back to work! I've been off 9 days and I still feel like I need time. But, I'm going to force myself to get up and drag my butt in tomorrow. I need to save all the days I can!

Ring

Toni's post about rings made me curious if I could take a picture of mine. I remember after I got it, trying to take a picture of it for my mother in law who lives on the other side of the country. I didn't do a very good job then, but I thought my new digital camera might be able to do a better job. Nope. I'll post anyway, but Nope.
Also, scanning your hand doesn't work. You kind of need your hand at the computer.

And some pictures

The crib is finally up. Here's Liam's room taking shape:


And here's Dave and I on the Homecoming float at work. I'm Lady Liberty, he's in his uniform.

And I'm back...

A cruise is a perfect vacation for a pregnant woman. You can walk as much as you want and sit when you need to. There is plenty of food and there is a medical staff a few decks down.
I couldn't believe that I was the only obviously pregnant woman we saw on the whole cruise. Usually, I am surrounded by them. I got a lot of attention. When people would get on an elevator, they'd say "Oh! We have a baby on board!" When we were getting on the ship, they take a picture of you, and I turned sideways and everyone started laughing and one lady yelled, "Now that picture's a keeper!" I laughed so hard while he was taking the picture that I look ridiculous, but I got it anyway.
San Diego was beautiful and warm, which suprised us since its usually cooler than where we are (about three hours from SD). I got the cutest and softest baby teddy bear in SD. He's wearing jammies with bunny ears. Catalina Island was beautiful, too. We shopped at a children's store and I got two onesies. One says, "I may barf" and the other has bears on it and says Catalina Island on it. We went on a glass bottom boat trip in Catalina and while we were pulling out of the harbor the captain started to yell, "Dolphins! Dolphins!" he was so excited. To the side of the boat were some pacific white sided porpoises. We watched them swim atthe side of the boat a bit and wished we had taken the submersible boat that goes underwater instead of the glass bottom because we'd have been able to see them under water. The rest of the glass bottom boat trip was really neat. The kelp forest looks cool from on top.
The next day was in Ensenada Mexico. We didn't get off of the boat because we went there on our cruise in March and, really, its not a place you feel the need to go back to. So, we stayed on the boat and played cards and read and laid down.
Dave felt the baby for the first time while we were laying down. Liam was kicking really hard and I took Dave's hand and put it on my belly and told him to leave it there (he usually moves his hand if he doesn't feel anything right then) and sure enough, he got several very hard kicks. I think he really liked that because he started patting my belly looking for more.
When we got home, he left for work at Vandenberg, AFB, so I'm alone until Monday. I'm hoping to sew with my mom and maybe do my baby registry. We got the crib up Saturday so in a few minutes I'll be posting the pictures from that as well as our Lady Liberty and her Man photos.

Au Revoir

I'm off to go on my cruise. This weekend we've been without DSL and I'm seriously in withdrawl. I miss reading the blogs. I'm going to have *so* much to catch up on when I'm back.
Saturday we put up the crib. Its soooo beautiful and makes it feel so real. I got the cutest mobile to go on it. It has butterfly bears and when they go around they project leaves and butterflies on the ceiling. Unfortunately, because we got a really quality sleigh style crib, it doesn't fit on the sides. Only on the part that folds down to get into and out of the crib (we got the kind of crib that has a small portion that folds down, rather than the whole side lowering). So, when we fold that down, the mobile goes with it. I have a feeling that's going to be a pain in the ass and we aren't going to keep it for long. But, we'll see. For now, I am having fun playing the mobile's music.
Yesterday my mom started to teach me how to sew. I "made" a blanket for Liam. I put the binding on the outer edges. Its really cute. I'm going to make a matching bumper when we get back.
I think that's all my news. I will be thinking of you guys and praying for you while I'm gone. I think Carrie has her ultrasound today, so I'll be anxious to hear how that went.

Mmmm. Chicken

If you want a *really* good honey mustard glaze for your chicken....mix 1/3 cup mustard 1/3 cup honey and add some grated orange peel and some dill. Brush that on the chicken and bake 30 min at 400. My husband said to me, "This is like professional grade sauce"
And that made me feel better since I don't clean the house five hours a day and have been questioning my worth as a wife.
If you saw Wife Swap last night you'll know what i mean

Sad news surrounds us

Anyone who has read the posts on Cecily's blog knows the feeling of your heart plummeting into the depths of your stomach. I am so, so unbelievably sad for her. On top of Heather, who Mia has us praying for, it is just all so much to take. This heartbreak is so incredibly wretched.
I feel Liam kicking away in my stomach and it takes my breath away. How incredibly lucky I am, but also how very close disaster can be. I stroke my tummy, I giggle at his kicks and then I am siezed by fear. Almost paralyzed.
It makes you feel like shit when you think to pray, "Please God don't let me be like them. Let him be ok." and yet that prayer comes. I pray and pray for their comfort and their healing and I pray and pray that Liam will be ok.
It leaves you whirling ....
and I feel guilty being so thankful that thus far I have:

On more minute, one more hour, one more day. Thank you God.

99 days. OMG

I just saw my ticker. I knew this day was coming; the day I would be under 100 days but it looks so surreal seeing it on the ticker.
In my head I'm singing "99 days of pregnancy on the wall, 99 days of a belly, take one down and pass it around and I may have a baby after all"



Shit. I should get busy getting ready.

The Best Pregnancy Symptom

I am enjoying my second trimester skin (am I in third trimester yet? when does that start?). It looks better than it has in years, even with my photo facials and dermabrasion. It is clear, clear, clear. I am shocked because at the beginning of this pregnancy, I was just going to designate my face as a geological landmark where people could watch the eruptions for entertainment. I was really nervous, as my dermatologist is really conservative and won't prescribe anything during pregnancy. My skin is a delicate situation. It hates me, really, and the dermatologist and I had finally found something that worked and things were looking good until I got pg. I was devestated thinking all those years of hard work were going down the toilet. But, now, in the late second tri--face looks GREAT.
And I'm willing to tolerate carpel tunnel in exchange for great skin.

Big Box o' fun

I got a huge box from my MIL today. She lives all the way across the country and I really wish she were closer so that she could experience the pregnancy with me. Anyway, she sent some of DH's baby clothes--even sweaters that she knit for him, his favorite stuffed toy, all the memorabilia she kept (hand made christmas cards, assignments, report cards, etc) and his baby book. The baby book isn't just a baby book its called, "All my life" and has a section for our marriage, things about me, things about our first child all the way up to our grandchildren. I'm so excited. I've put it with my scrapbooking stuff, but I am now on the hunt for one for Liam (and any future children). There were also baby quilts and a blanket she knitted for Liam which is just beautiful.
We also got toddler lederhosen from Switzerland. and some baby knit outfit that looks like lederhosen that we're calling Babyhosen. Its really, really funny.
That's all my news today. I am feeling a bit better, but not 100%. I worked 8:30am - 7pm and I'm burned out and tired. I did sweep, though, since that is so easy now. Its nice not living in dog-hair world.
I'm so, so happy for J on her BFP and I'm sending quiet congratulations and wishes of a sticky, sticky, sticky baby for that bermuda triangle. I know you all are, too.

Yeah, its not sustainable...

Went to Michael's and Walmart today and that about killed me. I hurt so badly when I walk and I waddle like a damn duck. I think I'm sore from yesterday.That's not fair. Give me energy so that I can actually DO something for a change and then make me pay by not being able to even walk in the days afterward.
I got up this am with the intention of having another day like yesterday. The Cleveland Browns were actually on tv today, so I knew where D would be. He's from Cleveland (well, Mentor) and the Browns are his team, but they never play Browns games here in CA. When he watches football, I like to scrapbook because my scrapping table is right by the couch. That way we can be together, but I don't have to learn football (I gave up. Too chaotic for me). I scrapped about 5 pages of our days in Gibralter on our honeymoon and then I went out with my mom.
I got some scrapbooking stuff. We went to Michael's --just for a peek, weren't going to buy anything--but their Sizzix machine was $49. Usually its $89 or some ridiculous price. I mean $49 is a lot--the high end of what I'm willing to pay. But, because it was such a good deal, I got one. Every time I go to my Nana's I've been using my aunt's and bringing home ziplock baggies full of die cuts, but she's taken the machine home to her own house! and, who knows when I'll be able to travel to Arizona again. Then we got a zillion--truly, yes, a zillion--baby scrapbooking stickers and some other random scrapbooking things.
When I came home, because I still couldn't walk without soreness, I started scrapbooking again. I finished my Nana's book from her last visit here. We like to send her a scrapbook of each visit and what she did when she was here to try to lure her back again. That last trip was 5 weeks ago and I still hadn't finished it and sent it, and we're hoping to get her here for Veterans weekend. I don't know that she'll come. She's already trying to back out.
At the very least I have to finish getting stuff ready for Salvation Army on Thursday. I know I won't feel like doing it after work any time this week.
The crib is taking up a huge spot in the living room. We've got to get the room cleaned out so that we can put the crib up. Maybe next weekend?
I'm hoping to order some carpet later this week and get the stairs recarpeted. And then there's baseboard for the kitchen, living room, hall way, bathroom and baby's room, and the tile backsplash in the kitchen, and painting the door frames, and getting the floors refinished in the back two rooms....What? what is that you're saying? The baby? Oh, yes. I need to buy baby stuff. A pack n play, a changing table, a glider, a swing, a travel system, an armoire.
Next weekend I'm having my first foray into sewing. I'm going to help my mom with a crib set. We've decided to do several crib sets. One because it makes sense as baby's pee on things and we might want to wash them. And because there's tons of cute fabric and who can choose just one. So, I'm going to help with the easy one. I'd like to be able to say I made *something* for my baby.

I had to laugh

I had to laugh out loud at Christine's comment today. Last night I reorganized all that stuff and this morning I got up and reorganized all kinds of stuff in the laundry room (ie misc. crap dumping ground) and as I was reorganizing that and the linen cabinet, I thought to myself "Where the hell did all this energy come from?" and not just energy, but get-up-and-go. I mean, I always notice what needs to be done, but I never just DO it. I have to make myself do it usually (and that results in a lot just not getting done). This is totally unlike me. I have this uncontrollable need for every inch of the house to be organized and clean and every project to be done.

I have to clean that damned rug again. It still stinks. *sigh* If I have to get a new one I'm going to be soooo mad.

The carpet finally smells good again

I got the small steam cleaner and came home and steam cleaned the carpet. It worked and in place of a big, brown, smelly stain is now a nice smelling, clean white rug again. Thank goodness. I love that rug and the floor underneath isn't the best part of the wood floors.
I also re-organized my scrapbooking stuff and its much easier to scrapbook now without making a huge mess. Usually by the end of an evening scrapbooking my scrapping table is full of stuff and piles and stays that way for days. Now I've got a system where I get get and put things back one at a time as I go along instead of getting out everything I need at the beginning. Much better! I scrapped two cities of our honeymoon trip. I've only got Dec 19,20,21,22 to go and it will be done. woohoo.
Let's see. That's about all here. I'm just getting stuff organized and clean despite how uncomfortable I am. Last night and to-night, it has felt like my belly was literally going to tear open. I know its the skin stretching as these new, ugly, angry red stretch marks have appeared. It is a very uncomfortable feeling.

Its still poo-y around here.

Well, the sun is shining, the birds are singing, I figure the cat will probably go outside. No. She pooped right where she did the other day. THEN my basset hound ate it, and THEN, her stomach, probably realising that that was the most digusting thing she has ever done, PUKED it up on my WHITE area rug in the living room.
Dh had to clean it up with his shirt over his nose.I thought he was going to wretch himself. It was the most digusting thing I've ever smelled. I'm going to Walmart in a bit to get a small carpet cleaner so we can shampoo the area rugs. We've only got carpet upstairs in two bedrooms and area rugs in each room downstairs, so we don't have too much carpet. But, we figure we need cleaner rugs than before since we'll have a baby, so we're investing in a cleaner. Apparantly, we need it. I do not know what is in our karma this week to have these disgusting episodes, but I'm about to banish them all outside! Grr. Only I'm a big old furbabymama sucker and they'll get back in in no time.
Not much else going on here. I've played hooky from work. Didn't feel all too well this am, and so I decided to stay home. I've been sorting through stuff to send to the Salvation Army as they're coming Thursday for a pickup. I'm getting boxes of crap out of here! woohoo. We have to make room for the baby somehow =)
Its much easier for me to get rid of things now that I don't have to haul stuff to the Salvation Army. I discovered that if you go to http://www.satruck.org you can schedule a pickup. Voila. Easy. They come to me. And, knowing that they'll be here soon, I am encouraged to go through stuff and get it out of here.
Today I'm organizing my scrapbook stuff a bit more and going through books (egad!) to get rid of some. And then I'm sure I'll be cleaning carpets.
Toni's post reminded me that I've got to get on flylady.net and see what zone we're in so that I can stop thinking about what needs to be done around here and just DO it.
Oh. The crib arrived yesterday and the box is HUGE. Its in our living room until we take down the daybed that is up there and get the carpet cleaned. Then dh can put it together and I can put the adorable winnie the pooh sheets on the mattress. Something I've been dying to do. Why? I do not know. Being pregnant makes you want really odd things.

Well poo to you too!

I got up this beautiful, dark, rainy morning and ran around like crazy getting ready because my mom was picking me up early because we were picking my boss up early to get to work and our campus has an accreditation team here this week so we all have to be early and perfect and blah blah blah...
so i run into the kitchen to grab some pop tarts so that I have something to eat...I don't turn on the light...its smells particularly rank and that's when I realise that my cat has poo'd on the floor and I've managed to hit it with the pantry door.
Grr. She is 17 years old and won't go out in the rain. We should have seen this coming and put up a litter box for her.
I left it and called my husband later and told him to clean it up. I'm not touching poo while I'm pregnant.
I hope that's not the kind of day I'm going to have.

New Belly Shot

24 weeks 5 days



I wasn't ready for the camera. More to be posted on the website:
http://www.geocities.com/misskether/Little_Bean.html

So far, so fat

We were sitting in the waiting room for the OB appointment today and this friendly woman asks me when I'm due. I tell her Feb. 2. She says "OH MY! Are you having twins?!" I tell her, no, just one. She says, "My daugher was that big when she delivered!"
I looked at my husband and told him that that answered the question as to whether or not I've gained weight.
But, in truth, its only been 5lbs so far.
I met the new doctor in the practice and I loved her. She measured me and I'm measuring big this time. 27 weeks instead of 25. Funny, because I was concerned that he's not growing as he should. I scheduled my last monthly appointment and after that its going to be every two weeks!
His heartbeat was 160 and all sounded great. And, as we hadn't gotten our AFP results back yet, she tracked them down for us. They were negative.

Thank you God for one more minute, one more hour, one more day!

Scrapbooking and Sweeping helped

I worked a long day today....8am-7pm and was dog tired all day since my husband took up most of the bed last night and I just couldn't get to sleep anyway. I don't know if it was the bed orientation, just being wound up, or the human heater that I was sleeping with. When I got home, I scrapbooked from our honeymoon a bit. It made me smile. We kept a journal the whole time, and I'm scrapbooking a particularly funny part of our trip. I also went through the stack of other things we saved to go in there...menus, tickets, grocery store receipts and the receipt from the "self service" laundry place in Faro, Portugal. We had been looking everywhere for a coin laundry and unable to find one (in Lisbon, the woman at the Residencia said that you only find coin laundries in movies). Finally, in Faro, we saw a laundry with "Self Service" on the window. Well, we took it in they charged us 8.75 Euros and they did the laundry for us, including folding it and putting it back in our suitcases!! Those memories made me smile.
Then I decided to get to cleaning the house. We have a floor problem around here. We've got two dogs, five cats and a husband that go in and out all day. The house is old (1926) and so it isn't as sealed as new homes are and we live in the desert where there is a lot of dust ever present in the air. I have hardwood floors at home and ceramic in the kitchen, so keeping up with the floors has been a daunting and sometimes thankless task.
Well, I have been carting around the vacuum from room to room just vacuuming it all up because chasing things with the broom was making my back hurt and giving me a callous. (I'm complaining about the callous. Husband says, what is it from? I say, the broom. He says, how long were you riding it? Husband is not dead. Husband is lucky man).
So, I bought the swiffer sweep+vac yesterday. It kicks ass. It is cordless so it can go anywhere. Its small, so it can fit in places the vacuum can't..like under the edge of the fridge and stove and under chairs and inbetween the legs of plantstands. The suction is darned good and the swiffer pad gets up the "extra" fluffs. I did all the floors downstairs in less than ten minutes. My kind of cleaning. Then I just had to swiffer wet jet mop the bathroom and kitchen and that took all of ten minutes and now I am feeling satisfied and like I've done something even though it was roughly 15 minutes of work. And painless. Woohoo.
Sometimes just getting some stuff on your list done makes a big improvement in your outlook

Can't think of a title

Yesterday my parents came over and switched the furniture in my bedroom (I wanted to get it done before D got home). The room seems roomier which makes no sense because we just swapped opposite walls. Our bed was in an alcove, but it was getting difficult for me to roll out of it and we needed to free up the space next to me for the co-sleeper.
I also moved Lucy's dog bed. She came in and looked at her bed and looked at me, looked at her bed and looked at me, sighed, looked at where her bed used to be and looked at me. I told her to get in bed. She looked at me. I got up, moved her bed to the old place, she went and laid down and all was right with the world again.
I understand how she feels. For six years I've with my head pointing northward now its southward. Its weird.
Crying is still coming and going. Was at Walmart with my mom, lost her somewhere in the store and started to cry. Its really, really ridiculous.
Have a Liam appointment tomorrow. Will be boring. Pee, weigh, BP, measure, Heartbeat. No more exciting glimpses of him. I am going to ask if I can get a flu shot, though.
But, on the 27th I'll be six months. Unbelievable!
Thank you God for one more minute, one more hour, one more day!

Boo Flippin' Hoo

I don't know why but today I've done hardly anything but feel sorry for myself and scrapbook with a bit of crying on and off. Everything has made me mad or sad and I didn't feel like cleaning, or writing the proposal for my thesis or anything, quite frankly. My mom was supposed to come over and help me move my bedroom furniture and didn't because she's quite sick, but that made me cry, too.
I feel as though I've wasted a day. Though I did scrapbook four pages or so on the days we spent in Fatima, Portugal on our honeymoon. And I started a "what we need to buy for the baby" definitive list and a "What we need to do before the baby gets here" definitive list.
Aside from that I've surfed blogs and sat around reading "Die Drei Kleine Schweinchen" (three little pigs) to my belly.
I am hoping that some sleep tonight will do my psyche some good and that tomorrow I'll be worth my salt.

Christmas alone

*sigh*
I just got off of the phone with my hubby who is on duty on base (the base is almost four hours from here). He's working out his schedule for the next few months and it looks like I'll probably have to be alone Christmas eve, Christmas and the day after.
He's such a sweet guy. He wants to take the shifts for a guy with kids who has worked Christmas the last few years. I told him I'd rather him do it this year than next and miss our baby's first Christmas. He's also figuring he's going to need to get people to cover for him before/during/after the baby is born, so this will help him in that department. I know its the right thing for him to do and my family is here, so I'd be able to be with them. It still brought tears to my eyes.
But then we were looking at the Jan/Feb schedule and I realised how close we are to being parents. 3.5 months!! When push comes to shove, I'd ratherhim be with me then than during Christmas! Except he'll miss my annual trivoo party (we have a family trivial pursuit match and eat fondue). I guess that's the life of a military wife. And really, what the hell am I complaining about when some wives go months without their husbands and their husbands are in mortal danger. When I look at it that way I'm such a big friggin baby!
I left the decision up to him, which means he'll go for Christmas and give that guy time with his family. Its the right thing to do. I know it is. But, I think I may shed a tear or two.