We are reading Suetonius and discussing bronze because someone's found some tabula aenea in the "Caesar ought to have known the end was near; check out all these omens" section. lysimache is trying to convince me that "brazen" is an actual word that means "bronzed" (like, covered/made of bronze) in addition to, you know, its usual meaning. I dispute the alloy-related definition on the grounds that she totally made that word up.

Somehow this led to the statement:

lysimache: Brass is an alloy too! Of, I don't know, bronze and... ass...?

Heh.

(For future reference brass = copper + zinc. Bronze = copper + tin.)

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I was poking about on the new OTW wiki thingy and somehow I stumbled across information on dvd_commentary, the DVD Commentary challenge.

Naturally, I had to share:

Me: Hey, Jenny, did you know that there's a community where people are doing DVD commentaries on other people's stories?
Jen: You mean a LoC?
Me: Oh. Hey. Um. Yeah. Pretty much like a LoC. But they're not calling them that.

I had been going to compare them to the detailed reviews people used to (and hey, probably still do) give on lists. Which, yeah, is a LoC.

I guess it's nice that fandom can independently invent things. Again.

Also, we are so old. How are we so old? Neither of us are even 30, dude. And, yet, I feel old in fandom.

It's been a while since I've been in a fandom with a lot of monofannish people; I kind of assume everyone's a fannish butterfly who's at least read something in any fandom where they think they can tell the characters apart, or even when they can't. (I can never keep Napoleon and Illya straight -- wait, I think I've got it this time, is Illya the blond? -- but I'm sad that I can't find the story where one of them is a were-unicorn. Because I think I have to read that.)

This led to the following conversation, which I reproduce for posterity:

Me: Am I a fannish butterfly?
Jen: Yes.
Me: Am I a fannish chaos butterfly?
Jen: *laughs*
Me: In Massachusetts, I flap my wings...
Jen: ...and in Vancouver, Stargate Atlantis is cancelled.
Me: What happens if I flap my wings again?
Jen: Then John has to kill Rodney in the series finale.

This is why I [heart] my girlfriend. I apologize if I have offended any diehard SGA fen.

Since I know you all care, quotes nobody got:

7. Lucy: I didn't even want to be a criminal. I wanted to be a pirate.
Amy: Pirates are criminals.
Lucy: Oh. Whoops.

This is D.E.B.S. Which was apparently less popular than I thought. You should watch it; it is an awesome lesbian movie. Innocent coed spy falls in love with supervillain!

8. Boy: Mom? Mom! Are vampires real?
Mother: Yes. They are little boys who have been known to suck all the life out of their parents.
Boy: I'm serious. They're real. I saw some.

Night Watch. I obscured the character names because I figured people would get it based on that. Hmmm.

11. You homo sapiens and your guns.

The first X-Men movie. Said by Magneto.

13. That woman... is a woman!

Shakespeare in Love. Yeah, there's a whole lotta crossdressing going on. And then not.

14. [song over end credits]: Something's burning deep within my love.

Only lysimache would have gotten this, and she didn't guess. It's from All Over Me, a rather angsty lesbian movie. Song's hilarious, though.

15. Teacher: Now, who was Joan of Arc?
Student: ... Noah's wife?

Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure! C'mon, guys. :P

I stole this from lysimache:

* Pick 15 movies you love.
* Go to IMDB and find a quote from each movie.
* Post them on your blog for everyone to guess. Fill in the film title once it’s been guessed.

I have the odd feeling I've done this before, and have probably used the same quotes too. It's mostly, um, sci-fi. And 80s. And 80s sci-fi. Only some of which lysimache already had. Anyway, have fun.

( QuotesCollapse )

lysimache has been on a Duncan/Methos kick lately, so I seem to have found myself watching all the Methos episodes of Highlander. So far, we're just done with the Dark Quickening. (And I just have to say, dude, Duncan, if you know your friend is evil due to a Dark Quickening, why is your solution to kill him and thereby become evil yourself? Surely there is a better plan. And, okay, even if that's the best you've got surely you could, oh, I don't know, tell your friends in advance what you're planning so they won't be surprised when you suddenly begin trying to kill them? Yeah.)

And, yes, Methos is pretty.

***

Yesterday I saw an opera at the movie theater. It's that new thing where every couple weeks they broadcast something live from the Met, and old people come from miles around to fill the theater. I am not a big opera fan, but Jen wanted me to go, so I went.

Let me just say that Peter Grimes is a totally depressing opera. Peter Grimes is a fisherman who keeps killing all his apprentices totally by accident. It goes like this:

VILLAGERS: Dude, you need to stop killing your apprentices. we hate you.
PETER GRIMES: It was an accident!!11 I promise!!11
VILLAGERS: Okay. But we still hate you.
PETER GRIMES: Also I need a new apprentice.
VILLAGERS: Sure. Did we mention we hate you? Let's form an angry mob and come to your house.
*NEW APPRENTICE falls down cliffside and dies.*
PETER GRIMES: Uh oh.
VILLAGERS: You suck. You should go kill yourself.
PETER GRIMES: You're right; I should.
*he does so*
VILLAGERS: Yay! We win!

Yeah. See what I mean about the depressing?

***

Also, I just got Professor Layton and the Curious Village for my DS on what, Wednesday? I beat it this morning. And I didn't even play it that much. It was good, and I am looking forward to the sequel, but I was kind of hoping it would be longer.

I think I'm just going to give in and play Persona 3 on my PS2, even though I still have Shadow Hearts: Covenant to finish. And I know it's silly because FES (the expanded version of Persona 3) is coming out next month, but... I want to play it now! So maybe I will. Hmph.

I finished the 70s lesbian book, and it was pretty awesome and occasionally cringeworthy. In addition to learning that butches are evil destroyers of the sisterhood and male chauvinist pigs, I learned that the first big gay bar raid (in the 50s), which was big enough to get the ACLU defending the arrested people, happened in my district of my hometown -- I know because the name they gave for the town is the name of my district, and my hometown didn't actually incorporate until later in the 50s, so at that point the now-district was its own town. But, gay bar! Infamous gay bar! In my hometown! Isn't that awesome?

Also, I learned that lesbians don't use dildos. No, really:

This idea [about how lesbians use dildos] tickles the fancy of most men who cannot feature women enjoying or being satisfied sexually without a penis. However, the dildo's most prevalent use is by heterosexual women in masturbation. The truth is that the great majority of Lesbians and/or heterosexual women have never seen a dildo. Women who feel the need for inserting a penis substitute in the vagina to fulfill their heterosexual fantasies are more apt to use homemade improvisations, such as a candle, banana, or cucumber. But sometimes, like the glutton who heaps his dinner plate too full, they may overestimate their capacity.

Then a paragraph about there's no nerve endings up in there anyway and you can get off just as well or better without putting anything in your vagina, and then:

In all studies (and there haven't been all that many) about Lesbian sexual practices one unanimous finding has been that the use of penis substitutes is relatively rare. We are sure that most Lesbians have tried something at one time or another, but for continued satisfaction in sex there is nothing like a living, breathing, responding person.

So, remember, girls, only use those dildos to fulfill your heterosexual fantasies! And don't get one that's too big!

(Also also, I learned that Lesbians don't drink as much as you would think because these days the youth are all teetolalers who smoke a lot of marijuana instead. Um. Yeah.)

***

Today on campus there was a sex fair, with booths for safe sex stuff and people dressed up as condoms and a bake sale of penis-shaped cookies. I became aware of this thanks to the editorial in the school paper, which was upset that people would dare talk about sex in public and in an entertaining manner, when sex is a serious and weighty and deeply private matter that the author is deeply ashamed of. So we shouldn't hand out condoms for free; we should get them anonymously from the RA's door. Um. Clearly some people agreed with the dude, because there was a respectable-sized gathering of angry Christians there too.

My complaint about the sex fair is that I couldn't find the free latex things. They were giving out bags with Plan B information and free stuff. Now, if it were me, I would have filled the bags with a condom, a dental dam (because no one gives out free dental dams, dude), some personal lubricant, and maybe some breath mints or something. Instead, I got: a Plan B pen, a whistle on a stretchy keychain, a flashlight, and some Band-Aids in a little plastic dispenser with a magnet on it. Am I supposed to put a Band-Aid dispenser on the fridge? Will it help my sex life?

The other day the grocery store was having a sale on cherry pie ($3 rather than $4), so we purchased one, and took it home. We had some last night, and, well, it didn't taste that great, I thought. Really not very cherry at all. So I thought that, you know, it was just some bad cherry pie.

This morning we went to have some more pie, and lysimache said, "I think this is strawberry rhubarb."

And it is. I guess that explains why it's really bad cherry pie, on account of it, um, not being cherry. I can't figure out how I had a whole piece without noticing.

Hooray, five-day weekend! (My Monday classes have all been moved.) In the past short week I have not accomplished much schoolwork (that's my weekend goal), but I have watched Heroes, House, and disc 1 of Season 3 of the L-Word, which is really quite addictive. Also I have had avocado and bacon pizza. It's sort of like eating pizza with ricotta, but not as cheesy.

lysimache and I are staying home for Thanksgiving, and not having turkey. See, the Food Network told me about some group that celebrates a day *for* the turkeys, feeding them instead of eating them, and how turkeys are really affectionate and they looove you and hug you and like to have their stomachs scratched. So we're having chicken. Because no one says anything nice about chickens. (Don't comment and say anything nice about chickens, because otherwise I will be forced to subsist on macaroni and cheese for the rest of my life and die of malnutrition.)

We are having, in addition to chicken, potatoes au gratin, cranberries, broccoli casserole, stuffing, and Jell-o salad, a dish of Jen's people, which is lemon Jell-o made with 7-up, mixed with pineapple and bananas and topped with Cool Whip (mixed with the juice from the pineapple) and marshmallows. (Why, yes, Jen's people *are* from the Midwest.) But our best acquisition was a giant Carvel ice cream cake shaped like a turkey. It was originally $15, on sale for $10, and furthermore had an "Instant $2 rebate" sticker. So it was $8. We 0wnz0rs. I'm not sure how we're going to eat it all.

I present also the following conversation I have just had with my father:

My dad: What do you want for Christmas?
Me: A pony. What do you want for Christmas?
My dad: A cart horse.

Heh. What, a pony's not good enough for him?

I don't know if you guys are watching Jeopardy this week, but you should. Because it's Celebrity Jeopardy. And, man, I thought the SNL skits were exaggerating, but apparently not.

On last night's Jeopardy, one of the Double Jeopardy categories was Shiny Things. Yes. Shiny Things. Which was apparently too hard.

Contestant: "I'll take Shiny Things for $400."
Alex: "Rigel, Antares, and Proxima Centauri." (Or similar.)
Contestant, looking deeply confused: "What are... clouds?"
Alex: "Um. No."

Later on, one of the questions showed a picture of a seagull and the question was to identify what kind of bird it was. A seagull. They couldn't.

Final Jeopardy was to identify who it was whose great great grandmother, somebody or other Drew, had been in plays with John Wilkes Booth. Granted, I did not know that the answer was Drew Barrymore (though lysimache did, because she is smrt), but I would not have answered "Nancy Drew." Which two of them did.

I shall eternally regret that on Wednesday's Celebrity Jeopardy they never got to the category whose title was "Surprise me, Trebek!" pronounced in a Sean Connery voice. Because bwahahahaha.

Last seen at prairiedaun's journal:

Go to the Randomly Generated Quotes page, and select five of them that apply to you.

One's real life is often the life that one does not lead.
Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900), L'Envoi, 1882

People are usually more convinced by reasons they discovered themselves than by those found by others.
Blaise Pascal (1623 - 1662)

Women are not inherently passive or peaceful. We're not inherently anything but human.
Robin Morgan

There is nothing to write about, you say. Well then, write and let me know just this - that there is nothing to write about; or tell me in the good old style if you are well. That's right. I am quite well.
Pliny the Younger (62 AD - 114 AD), Letters

One of the best rules in conversation is, never to say a thing which any of the company can reasonably wish had been left unsaid.
Jonathan Swift (1667 - 1745)

I don't know that they "apply to me," but, uh, I liked 'em.

Jen bought a pink girl's basketball at Target and she's bouncing it at me while listening to her Led Zeppelin records. She asks me to inform LJ that her basketball is pretty and that I like the songs about Mordor more than I like the songs about Robert Plant's penis. Which is true, because, man, do I ever not like the songs about his penis.

I haven't done too much, hence the not posting. We watched a bunch of S3 Starsky and Hutch episodes today and yesterday, including "Death in a Different Place." Yes, the one where the police captain dude is dead and gay and Our Heroes have to go to the Gay Bar Gay Bar Gay Bar. (I hope you get that song stuck in your head too. Um, happy Pride?)

It was really nice how, well, open-minded the S&H characters were about it. Hutch, ever the liberal, was telling Starsky how hard it must have been for the guy to be in the closet, and it shouldn't make a difference, etc etc. And the openly-gay political candidate. (The episode aired in '77, the same year Harvey Milk was elected in SF.) So it was nice to see such treatment, but, at the same time, it doesn't seem like there's been that much progress, if we were already saying stuff like this on prime-time TV in the 70s. What happened in the last 30 years? (I guess it must have been AIDS. I can see how that would kinda make people think gay=bad.)

But also great about the episode? See, my TNN-taped copy was edited for time, so the tag was cut -- my copy just ends with them apprehending the bad guy. But apparently it really ends with S&H conversing about what sort of behavior is gay, and, well, let me just transcribe the dialogue for you:

Hutch: Starsk, it's no big thing.
Starsky: Hey, you're not that sophisticated. I mean, a man preferring a man is not as casual as someone having a bad cold.
H: Is that right?
S: Yeah. I mean, I'm not taking a position for or against it, but it is something to contend with. I mean, it's not your usual everyday thing.
H: Right. Hey, you wanna get something to eat?
S: No. I wouldn't mind something to drink.
H: Starsk, would you consider that, uh, a man who spends seventy-five percent of his time with another man has got certain tendencies?
S: Seventy-five? You mean three-quarters?
H: Right.
S: Yeah, sure. Why not? I mean, that was the case between John and--
H: No, no, that's the case between you and me.
S: What?
H: Well, figure it out. In a five-day week, there are about eighty waking hours, right?
S: Yeah...
H: We work, eat, and drink about twelve of those hours, right? That's sixty hours a week, seventy-five percent of the time we spend together and you're not even a good kisser.
S: How do you know that?

I'm not even sure what this scene is supposed to *mean* minus the Slash-O-Vision. I guess you're supposed to be confident that they're not gay, and Hutch is joking because he's so secure in his masculinity. Or something. Did I mention that they buy a house together in the next episode?

So I'm on the bus going from Amherst to Northampton, and we're finally in Northampton. The bus stops at Day Avenue and someone gets off, and then the bus sits there about twenty seconds waiting to see if the guy who got off is going to cross the road in front of us -- he doesn't. But we waited around a while at the stop anyway. This is relevant. The bus starts going, and about ten seconds after, someone pulls the stop cord.

A minute or so later, when the bus is well on its way to the next stop, long after we have passed Day Avenue, the following ensues:
Passenger: Excuse me, that was my stop, Day Avenue.
Driver: Um. I stopped there. I opened the door.
Passenger: But I pulled the stop cord! That was my stop!
Driver: I did stop there.
Passenger, becoming more irate: I need to get off! Let me out now!
Driver: You can get out at the next stop.

So the passenger, fuming at the general unfairness of the driver, leaves. Other passengers are on the driver's side of the argument, to judge by the comments. The bus starts up again, and someone pulls the stop cord:

Driver: Just to make sure, you wanted downtown, right? Not the last stop?
Passenger 2: Actually, I meant to go to Amherst!

And, lo, there was much joyful snickering.

But, really, who would wait that long before saying they needed off?

From the very best episode of Aqua Teen Hunger Force ever.

Frylock: Okay. Have you ever worked with anything any larger than a chicken?
Billywitchdoctor.com: Billywitchdoctor.com... work... mostly in chicken.
Frylock: Well, could Billywitchdoctor.com maybe raise something else from the dead, bigger than a chicken?
Billywitchdoctor.com: Mega ultra chicken? No, shhh, he is legend!

Bwahaha.

I had the following conversation with lysimache just now:

Me: You're pretty.
Jen: Nescis quid dicas.
Me: Do too.
Jen: How did you know what I said?
Me: Well, you told me about how someone wrote on your "nescio" quote on the wall, so I know that, and the last one's like French, and I guessed the middle one is, uh, a relative pronoun?
Jen: No, an interrogative. It's an indirect question. That's why the verb's gay.
(Pause. We stare at each other in disbelief.)
Jen, hastily: Subjunctive. I meant subjunctive.

Best speech error ever.

I [heart] my girlfriend. Which, yes, means I'm subjunctive. *ducks*

I had the following conversation with lysimache last night:

Jen: Mrrr.
Me: What? I didn't understand. Could you use language?
Jen, more insistently: MRRRRR.
Me: Language consists of words organized using syntax. Not just sounds.
(Jen nudges me in the chest with her head.)
Jen: Mrrr?
Me: So what kind of syntax was that? Head Movement?

*facepalm*

Yeah. Don't mind me. I'm a dork.

Also, I wish to share some zombie and pirate jokes that lysimache and I have recently invented. Please read them in your best zombie and pirate voices.

Q: What did the naval zombie say?
A: Remember the MAAAAAAIIIIIINE.

Q: What did the Roman pirate say?
A: S. P. Q. ARRRRRR.

Thank you, thank you, ladies and gentlemen, I'll be here all week.

[ETA, 11:31 pm: Heh, you can buy ethyl rubbing alcohol. Not isopropyl. Ethyl's the drinkable one, as far as I know. Weirdness.]

Apparently I only have the energy to make a post a week these days. This is very sad. No, really, it is. Looking at my LJ calendar makes me want to cry.

Also sad is the conversation I just had with lysimache.

[I sniff Jen's shoulder, randomly. You know, like you do.]
Me: You smell like you.
Jen. Um. Thank you. I'm glad I smell like me.
Me: Me too. It would be sad if you smelled like someone else.
Jen: Why, because then I'd be cheating on you?
Me: No, because then you'd be a shapeshifter.

*facepalm*

What's really sad is that was honestly my first thought. It'd be just like how in the first X-Men movie Wolverine identified that Storm was really Mystique by smelling her, which is what I was thinking of.

I am a big big dork.

I present to you, my faithful readers, another installment of Things My Mother Says. I have just noticed, today, that both my parents drive like maniacs. Amazingly, they have not gotten into any accidents. Yet.

While passing a Hummer:
MY MOTHER: What is that? Is that a Hummer? They should be shot.
*holds up her pinky finger at them*
MY MOTHER: Your penis is this small! You have a micro-penis!

While getting onto the freeway onramp. The ramp is uphill, the sun is in our eyes, and it is impossible to see anything.
MY MOTHER, yelling: JESUS, I CAN'T SEE ANYTHING!
*accelerates*
MY MOTHER: MIGHT AS WELL SPEED UP!

On the way home, while we are zipping very very fast downhill on a curvy section of freeway overlooking the ocean:
MY MOTHER: I always have to do this without hitting the brakes. It's my macho thing. *looking in mirror* Ha, he had to brake. Wuss! WUSS!

Yeah, this is what my family is like. My mother asked me to keep track of how many times she used obscenities on our trip out today. (One, if you were wondering.) Believe it or not, I've actually missed them. Don't you wish this was your family?

Before I discuss the XPN concert we went to today and yesterday, I would like to share two amusing signs we saw recently:

(1) A billboard in the middle of Virginia on the way back here yesterday. In large letters, it read something like "Isn't she awfully young?" The smaller print below was "Sex with minors. Don't go there." I may be misremembering the exact wording, as we were driving quickly past it, but still. Isn't it nice of Virginia to remind us not to have sex with minors? We might have forgotten it was illegal.

(2) One of the ads at the PATCO station on 8th & Market is for some local news show. A woman who is on this show (or on the ad, at least) is apparently named "Jennaphr." I am not kidding. Now that's scary.

Right. Please resume your usual activities now.

(Also, Jen has just now told me she's never heard of Chet Atkins. That's scary too.)