I mostly try to keep this blog about Sonnet or our family activities so that grandparents and extended family can be in the loop even though they’re far away. I don’t do much blogging about myself other than to share the occasional decorating adventure or newspaper article. But I have to break my rules and spend some time ranting about
Breaking Dawn. Of course the “blog-o-sphere” is buzzing with this topic and I have to get my two cents in.
For those of you who live under a rock (or any grown, straight men who read my blog), Breaking Dawn is the fourth installment of the Twilight Saga and it came out last Friday. Like virtually every other woman, I read and fell in love with the Twilight books and so I was really excited to finally get the conclusion to the story. I originally read the books in December of last year and spent two months trying to convince myself that vampires aren’t real. Then, I gave in and read them all one more time. Eventually I broke out of the
haunting otherworld and banned myself from Stephenie Meyer’s website for a few months. (Sorry, the books are addictive!) And then when I realized
“Oh my gosh- it’s almost August and the last book is about to be released- yay!” I re-read the third book and got myself back into full “I♥Edward mode.”
On Friday night I drove by my local Barnes and Noble and laughed at the zillions of people waiting in line for the 12:01AM release of the book. Then I headed over to Wal-Mart, got a copy in about 10 minutes, and went home to put my insomnia to good use. I read about 300 pages of the book before I finally hit the hay. When I woke up in the morning, I started to wonder if I had actually read all the bizarre, inappropriate, and ridiculous things that I remembered or if I had somehow had a super vivid Twilight nightmare. Then I got online and discovered the message boards blazing with titles like “
The Day Twilight Died” and “
Epic Failure.” I realized that I was not alone in my hatred of the book.
What happened?, I kept thinking. Is this a hoax? Is SM going to jump out at any moment and say “April Fool’s” the real book comes out next week? Did she buckle under the pressure of deadlines and incessant comparisons to JK Rowling? Has she heard supernatural voices in her head for so long that she has literally gone crazy? Did she just figure that millions of unsuspecting fans would buy her book no matter what it said so she just scribbled down the first thing that came to her mind and then took her millions to the Bahamas?
Seriously. I don’t get it. Breaking Dawn was horrible! It’s graphic and gross and corny and fake and not to mention totally inappropriate for all those tween and teen readers out there. I know, I know, we should understand that it’s just fiction and that it’s not meant to be a “Teen’s Guide To Life.” But honestly, I know how addicted I am to these books; I can’t imagine what all this imagery would do to a 12 year old. SM has to know that a large percentage of her fans are very young girls who are very impressionable. She should have kept that in mind when she wrote this book.
Know your audience (and show some respect), that’s all I’m saying.
But even if I were willing to ignore the horrible messages it sends about sex being the greatest thing on the planet (hello, Bella wanted to stay human for a little longer because she liked it so much) or about how apparently you can just fall in love with the first hot guy who shows up, get married, and have a baby at 18 and everything will just work out great because his family is loaded…even if I could ignore that…the book still felt wrong. I just felt like all the characters were so different...like the friends I’d come to know were gone. It didn’t feel like SM wrote it. Edward- the lovely, level headed Edward- got all freaked out on the honeymoon and never seemed to recover. Alice just seemed dazed and confused the whole time. Jacob was actually likeable in this book. He seemed to be the only one with his head on straight and he was hilarious! And Bella? I’m sorry, but I do not buy Bella as a motherly type who suddenly turns all powerful and strong. She’s basically been a silly, helpless little girl this whole time who let Jacob or Edward (whichever one happened to be around at the time) take care of her. I got over that because, hey, what’s a love story without a dumb princess and a knight in shining armor? But I just can’t swallow this total transformation that she supposedly made in a matter of 3 sentences. And oh yeah, was Esme in this book?
All the blood made me want to vomit. I felt like in all the other books, the fact that Edward and his family are vampires was sort of an afterthought. We never went with Edward on his hunting trips, and we certainly never had to imagine Bella drink cup after cup of blood to satisfy the ravenous creature in her womb. I just loved the crunching ribs, the paralyzing delivery, and the way the kid bit her the second it came out. Yuck!
And Reneesme?
Reneesme? Seriously? Not only does it sound retarded, but Renee is hardly ever in the book and it doesn’t appear that she’s really been a great influence in Bella’s life so why pay her the tribute? I liked Carlie. At least Charlie is present. Bad choice there. But while I’m on the topic, what’s up with Charlie just accepting everything that happened? A father- and a cop- would not just accept that his daughter is quarantined from a strange disease and
oh sorry we gave you the wrong phone number and
just ignore that I had a baby in less than three weeks and that it looks exactly like you but it has a full set of teeth and
oh yeah your best friend’s son “imprinted” on your granddaughter. Ew!!! It was all just too convenient. Too fake….
Plus, I was sorta bitter that after all the buildup of the Volturi coming to Forks there was no battle. The “Cullens and Company” didn’t even cripple them. I had a hard time feeling relieved or satisfied at the end of the book because I don’t feel like any of them are truly safe from the vampire mafia.
Blah, blah, blah…I think I ran out of steam and that’s about all I can say for now. I mean, the book was entertaining…but it just didn’t live up to the quality of the other three. I could have written this one. How hard is it to tie up all the lose ends when you just invent ludicrous ways of doing it that have no morals and no merit? In my opinion, SM lost the magic. But she’s laughing all the way to the bank.
On a lighter note, I am still excited about the Twilight movie. At first I didn’t think I liked the guy they cast as Edward, but then I watched that one Harry Potter with him in it and I decided that he’ll be good. He’s got a real unique look to him and I’m sorta buying it. I also like the Bella girl and Esme and Emmett, but I’m not such a fan of Alice, Jasper, or Carlisle. Hmmm…should be fun to see how it all turns out….
Please keep in mind that these are just my opinions. I don’t need any hate mail. But feel free to share your thoughts…
(PS: A return to happy baby girl blogging to follow soon…)