Sunday Thoughts.

I didn't make it to church today. Instead I spent the day taking care of my sick babies. And that is just as sacred.

 

Being a mom is hard. But it's an honor.

When a tiny person just wants YOU and falls asleep in your arms, snuggled up against your chest, full of trust, feeling safe and warm and loved... well, that is one of life's great blessings. Those peaceful moments are pure magic.

(And if the tiny person happens to have a tiny curl that is ALWAYS sticking out of their otherwise bald, perfect, little head... well, that is just icing on the cake).

Random Thoughts.

So, I know I over-use punctuation. I am way too fond of commas and the dot dot dot thing (whatever it’s called), but seriously, some people just need to make friends with the period. Punctuate people!!! And oh my gosh, STOP with the hashtags! They are driving me crazy!!!  Just say what you want to say. Putting a pound sign in front of something and never hitting the spacebar, does not make what you are saying suddenly more witty. Gah!

Did you ever know that I am addicted to chewing crushed ice? Well, I am. Seriously. Addicted. I always take a cup with me in the car and I eat it before I get to wherever I am going. The problem is that on the way home, I start jonesing for more and I pretty much can’t wait to get here and refill my cup. My favorite ice comes from my own freezer. Too bad for my teeth.

I gave up a few of my “regular” TV shows. I just realized that they’ve been dumb lately and I’m not all that into them, so I shouldn’t be wasting my time on them. Like "American Idol." I’ve watched it since the first season and I love it, but this year… well, I can’t stand Mariah Carey, Nicki Manaj, or Keith Urban. Ugh! So, watching the judging was just painful. I quit. And since I’ve been trying to read more, I figured I’d use my late night TV time for something more productive…

But then, I got addicted to "Gossip Girl" on Netflix. Oh my gosh. It’s so dumb and dramatic, but I am hooked. But I will deny it if you mention it again. Mostly I just watch because I am obsessed with Blair Waldorf’s wardrobe! Covet, covet, covet.

I just can't believe that planes can fly. Seriously. It defies all logic to me. I mean, I understand lift and thrust and wing vortices in theory, but the fact that it actually works just boggles my mind. How can you take a ton of heavy people with all their heavy luggage and stick them in a huge cylinder made of heavy steel and then trust that it will not plummet straight to the ground? I just can't conceive. I drive by the runways everyday on the way to Sonnet's school and I see those big planes taking off and for an instant right when they lift off I think, "It's not going to work. What if it doesn't work?!" But it always does. And I am always amazed.

The other day I was having a discussion with someone about celebrity crushes and boys we’d dated, etc. And here’s my take:  I like my men to look like men. I am into “clean cut.” Short hair, clean shaven, no piercings and no tattoos. I do not find tattoos attractive at all. And I just can’t handle facial hair. I don't get the "bad boy" thing either. Bad boys are for girls with Daddy issues and self esteem problems. I’ve never been into the skater boy, grunge look, or the metrosexual. I like a man to look nice, but I prefer that he not be all that into fashion. I don’t want my man to look “pretty.” And I can’t stand skinny jeans on men. I like a bit of the cowboy thing, but those tight Wranglers just aren’t my thing either. (George Straight 'sWranglers, yes.) And I like me some muscle, some girth. I never wanted to be taller or heavier than the guy I was dating. Pretty much, the all-American football quarterback-look totally does it for me. I like uniforms or suits because they look nice, but my favorite is just a nice button-down collared shirt, tucked in, with a belt, and some nice-butt jeans. Nate calls it the “date night” outfit.  And I like my boys to be nice. I will take nice, loyal, calm, and trustworthy over anything else any day. “You are nice boys, nice!” (Name that movie!)

Speaking of Nate… he is the best husband there ever was. And he’s so handy! I have never asked him to make/build/fix/install something that he couldn’t figure out how to do. That right there is sexy, folks. For a while I’ve been whining about how I really wish I had a bigger closet. Nate offered to take a sledge hammer to the wall and encroach on Stetson’s room, but instead I decided all my problems could be solved by rearranging some things and... a new shoe rack! So my man built me one. And it is fabulous! It holds ALL my many shoes and has a few empty spaces for future purchases. J It’s so organized and in my world, organized=happy. If you come over, I will probably make you oooooh and aaaaaah over it. J I do on a regular basis.

I’m in charge of the Relief Society activities for my ward. I’ve had this calling three times before, so I was a little disappointed when I got it again. But, I’ve realized that it is a blessing. Nate has been crazy busy with work and studying for the Engineer’s exam and he has a busy calling. Plus, I spent the last year and half in Young Womens, which I loved, but it was definitely a “growing” calling for me. I constantly felt like I wasn’t doing enough and that I was out of my element. I learned a lot and I love the girls and I was sad to be released, but being in charge of the Relief Society activities causes me very little stress (knock on wood) and I am thankful to have one part of my life that I feel like I have a handle on right now.

My mom is like "The Giving Tree." (I used to love that book when I was a kid). She is very kind and giving and just wants the people in her life to be happy. A couple weeks ago I decided that I really needed some sort of vintage Pepsi thing in my house. I looooove Pepsi. My dad used to drink it when I was a kid and I drank it a lot in high school and I dunno… it’s just a Holly thing. So I’ve been on the lookout for a clock or sign or crate or something that I could stick in my house. My mom collects Coca Cola stuff. She has a ton of really cute red and white dishes and decorations, so I thought I might tell her to be on the lookout too. Then, when we were over there earlier this week, I asked her if she happened to have any Pepsi stuff she had picked up along the way cause, well, you never know. Maybe she went to the dark side. Turns out she did have a super cute, real, old wooden Pepsi crate and she gave it to me! It is now sitting on my coffee table and I love and adore it. I kind of felt like I was taking her leaves or apples or something (go read the book if you have no idea what I’m talking about), but seeing as how I’m not selling them in the city and I think my mom wants me to be happy just like the tree wanted the boy to be happy, well, it all works out in the end, yes?

Speaking of books, I am currently reading “Nurtureshock” and I have so many things I want to say about it. I have found it quite interesting. Very, very. I am also reading “Killing Lincoln” and so far it is fabulous! If only the library would let me keep them longer. I hate libraries. Have I ever mentioned that? I know, it’s totally the opposite of something you would expect to come out of my mouth, but it’s a fact. Book stores I like. Libraries stress me out. I can’t exactly elaborate on why that is. Mostly because the reasons are dumb and also because I’m tired.

So, good night.

Whine.

So, this week has been stupid.

Monday afternoon, Stetson woke up from his nap kind of cranky. All evening, he just wanted to be held and he was warm and whiney.

Tuesday morning, he had a temperature of 103. He spent most of the day curled up on my lap, asleep. When he was awake, he was screaming. He did not want to eat. He just wanted to cry or sleep.

In some ways, it was nice. Stetson pretty much never, ever sits still, so the fact that he just snuggled on me all day was really quite amazing. Nate and I joked that if all our babies were that calm, we might have more than two. J

He had a fever, a runny nose, a bit of a cough, and he seemed achy. We considered teething as the cause (seeing as how he only has 4 teeth so far!) and then we decided it was a cold and we just kept pumping him full of Tylenol and fluids. But after a bad night, we ended up taking him to the doctor just to be sure that he didn’t have strep throat or an ear infection.

They confirmed that it was just a cold and that we were doing all we could do and that it would pass in a couple days.

That day, I ended up with a fever, congestion, a sore throat, and super bad body aches. All I wanted to do was sleep. I very rarely get sick, but when I do, I’m pretty whiney. Poor Nate ended up on baby duty. He slept with Stetson and took care of him all night, while I went to bed and slept fitfully. I know, Nate is Superman.

The next day, Sonnet woke up with a bit of a fever, and honestly, I was too sick to get her ready for school and drive her in to town, so she stayed home and we all spent the day in our jammies.

Thursday morning, Sonnet said she felt fine and she did not have a fever. I was actually starting to feel a lot better too, so I dropped her off at school and then I went home and deep cleaned my room and bathroom and Sonnet’s room and bathroom, and did several loads of laundry.

Stetson seemed to be on the mend too. But then after lunch, I felt like crap again. I just wanted to go to bed and pretty much spent the whole evening sitting on the couch staring into space because I was too tired to walk upstairs to my bed.

Sonnet had plans to spend the night at my parent’s house that night and my dad picked her up from school. She had been so excited to go over there all week and play and make cookies and get lots of good Grandparent Love. But apparently, she started feeling junky while she was at school and by the time my dad picked her up, she was tired and hot and sick. She got to my parent’s house and fell asleep. She spent the night whimpering and testing said Grandparent Love. Bless their hearts, they doped her up with Tylenol, held her tight, and got up with her every couple hours to deal with her whininess.

Today, I am feeling a tiny bit better, but I still want to scratch my eyes out and I’m afraid to go more than a couple hours without taking an Advil. I have gone through an entire bag of cough drops and I’ve been chugging warm tea with honey. It seems to be helping. I think there is a light at the end of this tunnel.

Stetson seems to be on the upswing. He is back to his Tiny Terrorist ways and other than copious amounts of snot, he is symptom free. Yay for Patient Zero.

Sonnet is home now, but she is still in the thick of it. It’s only 5pm and she asleep on my lap (clutching her prized Rapunzel doll) as I type this. Poor little thing. I say that I am whiney when I am sick... she is a million times worse. It could be a long night...

So far, Nate has been spared and I am so grateful he has been around to play Mr. Mom. Tonight he is off on a camp out with the Scouts, so he gets a little break, and hopefully he will stay germ free.

Most people I know have been hit with some sickness over the last few weeks… and I know it could have been worse for us. I am super grateful that we didn’t get the flu. We’ve had a mean cold, but it’s just a cold, and there has been no barfing. [Knock on wood!] Barfing is evil. So, really I should be counting my blessings instead of whining. I know, I know.

In the meantime, I suppose I will just go hold my sleepy, precious little whiners.

Girl Date.

One of my goals this year was to take Sonnet on a special one-on-one parent date every month. For January, we decided to go all out! I bought tickets to take her to the "Dare to Dream" Disney Princesses on Ice thing. I told her we were going on a "girl date" and I wrote it on the calendar, but I didn't tell her where we were going. I told her she had to dress up like a princess and that she could pick where we would go for dinner and that after I was taking her to a special show. She has been counting down the days and we were both pretty excited. (I just think it's good to have something fun and out of the ordinary to look forward to, which is part of why I made this a specific goal for the year).

 

Sonnet put on her new Cinderella dress that she got for Christmas (and some of my makeup) and decided on Olive Garden for dinner (no arguments here!). We had fun talking and eating and just being together. I've felt distracted lately and busier than normal (which we all know I don't really like), so it was good for both of us to just have some down time to chit chat and reconnect.

 

Sonnet really liked the show! She was so excited when she saw the signs and figured out what we were doing (she's been seeing the commercials on TV and asking about it). She kept saying, "You are kidding me!" Haha, that's a total Sonnet thing to say. At first, I think she was confused by the show... she's never seen ice skaters before and when you're used to seeing all your favorite princesses in animation... seeing them dressed up and gliding around a stage is a little strange. Finally she whispered to me, "Are those people real?" Haha. After I explained it a little better, she figured it out and totally got into it... and by the end she was dancing in the aisle and singing right along with the show. She loved talking to all the other little girls who were sitting around us... she got a Rapunzel flag to wave around... she spent half of the show sitting on my lap and snuggling with me (which I liked!)... we ate popcorn and Dr. Pepper (special occasion, you know)... she told me I am her "favorite mom ever"... and she conked out two seconds after we got in the car to drive home... I think the night was a success! :)

Sunday Thoughts.

Something that I’ve been meaning to do for a while is record my “Sunday thoughts” on the blog. I just want to write down the thoughts, quotes, or feelings that most stuck out to me during church that day. It’s easy to have some “aha” moment at church and then forget about it seconds later as I get busy with the kids and dinner and bedtime and well, the rest of normal life...

But if I keep it in my brain long enough to find a minute and record it, then hopefully it will continue to stick with me throughout the week. Plus, having the information on here will make it easy to come back to when I need it.

Today, the lesson in Relief Society was about “learning by faith.” I believe that we have a responsibility to learn all that we can about the gospel and the world around us. I’ve always said that no learning is ever wasted. Even if you study a language you are never going to speak or read poems that you don’t really understand or learn all about gardening and then turn out not to have a green thumb… I still believe that the time and effort you put in to learning anything good, true, or worthwhile, is always time and effort well spent.

Lorenzo Snow said: “There is a kind of education worthy of the best attention of all, and in which all ought to engage—that is the education of the Spirit.”

Educating our spirit is worthy of the best attention of all. Love that.

“In this system of religion that you and I have received there is something grand and glorious, and something new to learn every day, that is of great value. And it is not only our privilege but it is necessary that we receive these things and gather these new ideas.”

“The whole idea of Mormonism is improvement—mentally, physically, morally and spiritually. No half-way education suffices for the Latter-day Saint.”

I love that. “The whole idea…is improvement.” It doesn’t say perfection. We don’t have to know everything right now. We just have to be engaged, interested, and moving in the right direction. A little better, a little at a time.

I also really like this:

“You should ask the Lord to let the speakers say something that you want to know, that they may suggest something to you that will be of some advantage. If you have any desire to know certain matters that you do not understand, pray that they may say something that shall enlighten your mind in reference to that which troubles you, and we will have a grand and glorious Conference…”

This is something I usually try to do. It’s easy to get bored at church, or feel like you’ve heard this all before, or be judgy because the speaker isn’t all that great of an orator (I’m so guilty of this)… but I realized a couple years back, that if I go to church with a purpose… seeking a specific answer or feeling, I will usually get it. I pray beforehand and tell the Lord what I’m looking for, what I’m struggling with, what’s bothering me, what I’m wondering about, or what I need. Then I ask Him to answer me while I am in His house. And most of the time, it works. In one way or the other, I get an answer. Some are unexpected. Some are touching. Some are simple. But it is proof that the Lord hears me and answers me. Plus, I spend my time at church listening for an answer and thinking about how I can apply the teachings to my life rather than letting my mind wander or judge or get bored. If we come with the right attitude, looking for the good, we will find it.

“I have thought, and still think, that our being edified does not so much depend upon the speaker as upon ourselves.”

Amen. J

11 Months.

My Stetson is 11 months old. That's only 1 month shy of 1 whole year! That kills me.

 

These days, I pretty much just refer to Stetson as "Trouble." That boy is a handful! He's not out of control, he's just SO FULL OF ENERGY. He gets into EVERYTHING! And he REFUSES to sit still.

 

Sonnet was a very active baby/toddler too. She was a climber and she was curious and she never wanted to sit still either (we used to call her Perpetual Motion), but Stetson is a million times worse. Maybe it's that Y chromosome, but I feel like my house is not going to survive him. I think I've baby-proofed and then something else comes crashing down. Last night, I actually had a dream that Stetson was a twin and as soon as I would catch one of the boys, the other one would run away. I think that was my subconscious trying to make sense of the fact that this baby I chase around all day NEVER STOPS! :)

 

I see other babies sitting quietly in their car seats, or playing contentedly on their mom's lap or on a blanket on the floor, and I think, "Am I ever going to have one of those?" From day one, my babies have been READY TO GO! And now that he CAN go, there is no stopping Stetson. The second I sit down, he has wiggled off my lap and covered some major ground, knocking down (and probably tasting) everything in his path. Going to church with him and trying to keep him calm, quiet, and entertained for three hours is torture!

 

He's very vocal. He will yell at you if you do something he doesn't like. When I say something back like, "Hey, you don't yell at the mama" he just smiles at me. I don't mess around, and I won't abide bratty kids, but I can tell this one is going to challenge me... He's already got that little gleam in his eye. I've always said that he is a 23 year old stuck in a little body... and it is quite the thing to watch him gain more control over his body... and when he can communicate too? Life is going to get interesting. :)

 

He says Dad, Mom, and Hi. This month he added Dog (which he uses to refer to every animal he sees, whether it's a dog or not) and he will say Buba if you say it first (we call him that a lot). He makes a million other sounds that obviously make lots of sense to him, but just make the rest of us laugh.

 

He's a climber. He's like a tank. He just rolls right over everything in his path. In fact, I don't think he sees objects as obstacles... he sees them as something fun he can conquer! He is STRONG. We were at the park last week and he grabbed ahold of one of the monkey bars. I let him go and he dangled there and held his own weight for about 60 seconds before I made him get down. Today, he tried to scale the pantry...

He is fascinated by the trash can. He loves to push up the lid and look inside. He thinks it's hilarious to throw things in the can and then shut the lid. I've lost my cell phone twice and my hairbrush three times that way. He also loves to throw things down the stairs. He'll stand at the top and drop a toy just to watch it bounce all the way to the bottom. Then he'll go find something else and do it again. I'm not sure if he's just a little scientist or a tiny terrorist, but I suppose he's cute either way.

 

He HATES to get his diaper changed, mostly because it requires him staying in one place for more than a millisecond. I'm even having trouble getting him to eat because he hates to sit in his high chair for more than a minute. He's just too BUSY to be bothered to eat. I pretty much have to chase him around with a spoon or sit in one spot and just shove something in his mouth every time he walks by.

 

And you can imagine how he feels about his car seat and bed time. Let's just say there is usually lots of screaming involved in both cases. The other night I was trying to put him to sleep. The room was dark and quiet, he drank a bottle and started to get drowsy, and I figured I'd rock him for a minute or two and then put him down in his crib and he'd drift off. All of a sudden, he sat straight up, put both of his arms in the air and started "yelling" and "talking" to the dark room, waving his arms around, pointing his fingers, flexing all his muscles... this went on for 5 whole minutes. It was like he was giving a rousing speech to someone! Finally I said, "You are not a general leading your troops into battle. You are a little baby and it is bedtime and you need to rest." He turned around and looked at me with the most serious look on his face and I swear he would have said, "That's what you think" if he could have.

 

I love that he is walking! It just adds to the craziness, but seeing him toddle around my house just makes me so happy. I love when he goes off to another room to explore and then comes wandering back in and waves at me like it's just the most natural thing in the world to be totally in control of everything and yet only be 3 feet tall. It cracks me up.

I left my yoga mat out the other day and he came in my room and started doing poses! I grabbed my camera and snapped a few pics. It cracked me up! Obviously he pays attention to the world around him. And he does a pretty good Down Dog. :)

He leaves these tiny hand prints all over my fridge everyday and for a while it was driving me nuts. Then I thought about how cute his little paws are and how much I am going to miss holding them and kissing them when he grows up and how those prints are only there because he likes to be RIGHT BY ME while I am working in the kitchen and how that should make me feel lucky and blessed and I decided to just LOVE the smudged up fridge. I even took a pic...

I am exhausted and I'm sure we're in for lots of surprises and stubbornness and trips to the ER with this boy, but I am so glad he came here almost one year ago. He makes me crazy and he makes life FUN and he has brought more LOVE and things to LAUGH about it into the house and I love his terrible, wonderful, precious little guts. :)

Life's A Beach.

Nate came home from work last Sunday and we were all sitting around talking about how nice it would be to go on vacation. It's been a while since we've been out of town... (heck it's been a while since we've all sat around together). Then we found out that the big church meeting Nate was supposed to go to that day was cancelled and that he hadn't gotten assigned to any overtime shifts that week and that (other than Sonnet's school) we were FREE for the next few days.

 

We had access to a condo in San Diego, so, we decided to be spontaneous (I know, so un-Holly-like) and head to the beach! We threw a bunch of crap in the car and headed south. As we got on I-15, Sonnet yelled, "Goodbye Las Vegas!" Amen, Sista. :)

 

We spent two nights and three days at the beach. The first couple days were kind of windy and cold, but we had fun walking on the beach, going out to eat, and snuggling next to the fireplace. The last day was PERFECT and we spent all day riding bikes and playing on the beach. Sonnet must have ran a million miles up and down the beach and Stetson LOVED the water. He ate a lot of sand, got mud in every crack and crevice, and was sunburned AND freezing cold by the end of the day, but I have never seen him so happy. We just chased him everywhere and laughed at our kids' crazy antics...

 

I've said before that I'm not really a "beach person." I don't like sand and sun and flip flops or humidity... but I do love the ocean. I think it's healing. Every once in a while, I start to crave it. And sitting in a lounge chair next to your husband under an umbrella watching your kids giggle and play until they just want to wrap themselves in a towel and curl up on your lap for a nap... well, THAT is paradise.

 

I'm really glad we decided to be irresponsible and take a spur of the moment trip. We needed it. And now here are a trillion pictures (because everything on the beach is cute and I can't delete any)... 

For a few minutes, the kids did this in the car. It was heaven.

 For MOST of the drive there and back, Stetson did this. It was, well, the opposite of heaven.

One of Sonnet's wet little footprints on the stone floor. She walks on her tiptoes so her footprints crack me up.

Daddy took Mommy to lunch... chips and salsa, fish tacos, enchiladas, and a coke. Mommy was happy. :)

So mesmorized by the sand...

The kids loved the bike trailor. They sat back there and ate snacks and waved at everyone we passed. Riding bikes is way more fun next to the ocean! :)

Happy happy happy.

"This is the life!"

Eating dirt...

Um, maybe I found something I don't like to eat afterall...

Love.

A boy's paradise. :)

Life is good.